A Formula for Forgiveness

FINAL EDIT Well team you hung in there with us for the ten commandment serious. 10 weeks of consideration and examination of some of the tougher subjects in life i felt it fitting to talk this week about forgiveness. Maybe we need to forgive ourselves, maybe we need to forgive others, maybe we need to ask others to forgive us, and even if none of those feel relevant in this moment, it is important that we live in the freedom of giving and receiving forgiveness.

We will be in Matthew 18:21-35 and while you are finding the text this morning let’s talk for a minute.

It is better to ask for forgiveness than permission, oh boy. I wonder who of us in here today have used this phrase? I’m sure we’ve all heard it, I’m afraid there are too many that might use it as a life motto. The essence of this phrase communicates that we know that the action we are going to perform what not be approved by others. However, our flesh weighs out what the response will be to their sin and says I’ll go ahead and take my chances with the potential consequences for the sake of what I want to do now. Furthermore, asking for forgiveness rather than permission cheapens the action of apologizing and forgiveness, and tells the person that you might be hurting or offending that you are prideful, unconcerned for their feelings, and that you know best.

Intro: FORGIVENESS. is a very challenging subject for some of us. Others may not tend to struggle with it. SLOWLY The tendency that most have is to forgive others based on how much the act that was committed cost them or caused them pain. For instance, a car accident may total a car or it may take a life. The one who lost a vehicle may find themselves forgiving the person who caused the accident much more quickly and easily than one who lost a loved one in a similar situation. In our humanity we are frequently LEDlead to forgive based on our processing of the pain rather than basis of Christ’s forgiveness towards us. Forgiveness brings healing. Forgiveness brings freedom. Forgiveness brings fellowship and community in relationships that have been torn by pain, hate, anger, and bitterness, while failing to forgive leaves us in our state of being torn apart... Unity will always require forgiveness, and avoiding it will always lead to division. Let’s look at our text this morning and consider Jesus’ teaching on forgiveness.

Matthew 18:21–25 “Then Peter came up and said to Him, “Lord, how many times shall my brother sin against me and I still forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy-seven times. “For this reason the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his slaves. And when he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. But since he did not have the means to repay, his master commanded that he be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment be made.”Matthew 18:26–31 “So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’ And the master of that slave felt compassion, and he released him and forgave him the debt. But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe!’ So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’ But he was unwilling, and went and threw him in prison until he would pay back what was owed. So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their master all that had happened.”Matthew 18:32–35 “Then summoning him, his master said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’ And his master, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he would repay all that was owed him. My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.””

PRAYER

Shifting from an Act to an Attitude

In our story today, the apostle Peter wanted to qualify this strange new teaching that Jesus was presenting to the people in regards to forgiveness. While the idea of loving our neighbor would have been a part of the teachings that they had received previously, it was amidst principles such as an eye for an eye or a tooth for a tooth in the way that they might handle a domestic dispute. As we mentioned in the introduction to today’s message, for many, forgiveness is something that will occur for some as the processing of pain takes place. I would imagine for many that retribution from the guilty party would perhaps bring a synthetic sense of peace surrounding the loss or pain that they had experienced. Many feel that Peter was trying to show his level of spiritual maturity by offering to forgive seven times, while others might not have been so generous with their distribution of forgiveness. Some believe that Peter was simply trying to qualify the religious responsibility that was necessary for him to keep, especially considering the fact that he was living in a time when legalism would have been at one of its highest points in history. Though we cannot be for sure exactly what Peter’s motive may have been, we can have a better idea of what Jesus’ motive was in his response.

Some may wonder why Jesus did not say that our forgiveness should be as often as it is asked. Why did He choose a number such as seventy times seven, or in other words 490 times? (MATH) Jesus’ answer was strategic in that He knew that those who wanted a numeric answer would not get the spirit of forgiveness as He intended it to be understood. Perhaps nothing is more detrimental in our relationships towards one another than that of scorekeeping. (HUSBAND AND WIFE) Sometimes we keep score in a particular relationship. Sometimes it seems we keep score in general. I deserve this because, I am above this, I’ve paid my dues, I have worked harder than them, know better than them. Jesus answered in such a way knowing that it would turn the legalist scorekeepers on their head, and send a message to those that would hear him rightly that true forgiveness is not a measurable act, but an immeasurable attitude that must be adapted in order for people to live in freedom. The story that he would go on to tell would illustrate the ridiculousness of our un-forgiveness in light of the goodness of God towards us. This leads to our next thought…

Reflecting on the Reality of our Sin –

Jesus references a king in the kingdom of God, so it might be safe to assume that the king in our story is indeed the Lord Himself. A servant of the king was forgiven 10,000 talents, because the king was moved with compassion. A free lesson to learn in this moment is that forgiveness is born out of compassion for those who have hurt us or taken from us, and without compassion forgiveness cannot take place.

Continuing in the story I want to make a point that I think too often we as Christians read the Bible with other people in mind, forgetting that the Bible is largely written to instruct the Christian on how to live. If in our story the king is God, and the servant has been forgiven a great amount, would it not be fair to say that we as Christians are the ones whom, after asking God to forgive us were forgiven a great debt? In other words, Jesus is speaking to those already forgiven, knowing that Christians would struggle with this principle just as much as unbelievers might.

With that in mind, that servant who was forgiven 10,000 talents (several million dollars) went and acted harshly with one whom owed him 100 denarii (a few dollars). What on earth was he thinking? What on earth are we thinking? It is interesting to note that the forgiven servant does not praise or thank the compassionate king... While it is not God’s desire for us to live in the guilt of our sin, remembering what we were saved from, and the things that we were forgiven, helps us stay centered in a spirit of forgiveness that responds to the forgiveness that was so freely given to us. We remember the words from the great hymn, My Sin, oh the bliss of that glorious thought, my sin not in part but the whole, is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more. Praising God for forgiveness prevents us from becoming prideful in our forgiven state. There is a good chance that if you are having troubles in forgiving others, that your praise and thanks towards God may not be what it should. Any blessing that we don’t turn into praise will turn into pride. In our story a failure to praise caused a forgiven servant to act with pride and contempt towards others. When we choose not to forgive we exhibit a spirit that says I deserve. When we choose TO forgive we exhibit a spirit that says I received.

We received grace and forgiveness in the wondrous work of the cross of Jesus.

Remembering the Work of the Cross

He lived a perfect life, only to be despised by men.

He healed the sick and raised the dead, only to hear them call for his death.

The words He spoke were the words of life, yet His life He would willing lay down.

Though innocent in every way, he was crucified among the guilty… and as he hung there on the cross He prayed, Father forgive them; for they know not what they do.

Although He was crucified by hate, He responded with aggressive love.

Remembering the work of the cross, is remembering that we have been set free. And because we have been set free, we can bring freedom to others and release them from the pain and strife that comes from un-forgiveness. We must remember that it is not about how we’ve been hurt by others, but how we have been forgiven by God. He paid a debt He did not owe, and I owed a debt I could not pay.

Conclusion/Challenge: (INVITE TEAM) Too many today believe that they are living with a spirit of forgiveness not understanding that they may be hurting others around them with behavior that results from an unwillingness to forgive someone in their past or present. While saying that they have forgiven in every situation, their un-forgiveness continues to manifest itself in a lack of trust, bitterness, skepticism, cynicism, and often even spirits of superiority towards others. Recognizing the love and forgiveness of Christ’s work on the cross frees us from the bondage of these attitudes and instead calls us to a love for others that is unmatched and unconditional.

MLK – Forgiveness is not a matter of quantity, but of quality. A person cannot forgive up to 490 times without forgiveness becoming a part of the habit structure of their being. Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude. When I counsel someone on the subject of forgiveness they want to cite how bad the action was, but forgiveness isn’t about how you’ve been hurt, forgiveness is about how you’ve been saved and redeemed.

Forgiveness is not about what they have done TO us but what Christ has done FOR us. Someone today may be struggling with the challenge of forgiving themselves. Christ’s desire is not for us to live with a mindset of guilt and condemnation, but in love and freedom. To not forgive one’s self is to believe the lie that satan offers that the cross of Christ is not powerful enough to cleanse us from all sin and shortcoming.

2 sons earlier, have a couple songs ready now if you want to just take some extra time to pray

Come and pray today that Christ will free you through forgiveness, that he will help you to move from seeing forgiveness as an act and to seeing forgiveness as a spirit and an attitude. Be freed from the bitterness and strife of living in past hurts and pain for which Christ died once and for all.

Someone needs to come to Jesus this week, accept His forgiveness

ALTAR CALL

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thanksgiving, family, reconcile