Mark 10:1-12 - Marriage is Serious... Our Response Should Be Too!

Puzzle pieces lock together to complete a picture. You can’t move pieces and force them to lock in.

When the pieces come together, it forms this beautiful picture and the pieces are inseparable!

My great grandmother gave me this puzzle before she passed away

I love this puzzle.

We’re going to find out observant people

There’s a missing puzzle piece.

There’s actually a couple of missing puzzle pieces.

Doesn’t complete the picture.

Big Idea: Marriage is Serious and Our Response Should Be Too

We have a very heavy text today.

We’re going to be discussing marriage, divorce, and remarriage.

I want you to know, I love you and I love God’s Word.

Core Value: Stand on the Word. We’re Bible people

I have tendencies to care what people think

But because I love you and because I love God’s Word, we’re going to lean into this passage and not shy away from it.

We’re going to have a time of prayer at the end

We’re going to lean in and submit to God’s Word together.

Stand to read

Mark 10:1–12 ESV

1 And he left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan, and crowds gathered to him again. And again, as was his custom, he taught them. 2 And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3 He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” 4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” 5 And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. 6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 10 And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. 11 And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

Leader: This is God’s Word

Everyone: Thanks be to God

The Pharisees are looking to trap Jesus again, because they never seem to learn.

They throwout this hidden landmine behind their question.

The Scribes and Pharisees have this debate going on within their Jewish communities, about how to interpret Deuteronomy 24:1:

“1 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house,”

The issue is over the word “indecency”

The Hebrew word is translated to “the nakedness of a thing.”

One of their Rabbi’s argued that it’s only permissible to divorce over adultery alone.

Another argued that if a woman burnt the toast indecently then a man could divorce her.

Anything could be a reason for divorce.

The Pharisees think they have Jesus right where they want Him.

He has to pick aside.

They asked what is lawful, so Jesus takes them passed their Rabbi’s to the actual Law of Moses (v. 3)

They give the correct answer (v.4)

Official steps for divorce: 1) Write a certificate of divorce 2) send her away.

Where they get it wrong is that they’re trapped on the external reality of divorce, not the internal issue of it.

They never stop to consider the underlying heart issues of anything.

Just when they think the have Jesus, He flips the script on them.

Mark 10:5 “5 And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment.”

The problem here is you.

They’re trying to test Jesus with the law, but they fail to see that the law judges their hearts.

The Law had to make a legal allowance for our sinful heart issues.

In a perfect world, divorce would not happen, but God gave this command because He knew it would.

We live in a fallen and broken world.

Jesus points to the fact that this was not how we were created.

He points them to the law, then says you need to go further back to creation!

If you want to know God’s heart and intent for marriage, you need to go all the way back to the beginning of Genesis!

You’ll never understand divorce until you start by understanding marriage as something God made.

He quotes to them Genesis 1:27 and 2:24 (vv. 6-8)

God created marriage when He created mankind.

He created male and female

Then He gives the parameters

The man and women leave their parents

And make a NEW family.

When I married Hilary, my father and mother became my extended family.

Now I have a new family.

The man holds fast to his wife.

This means to become linked to, to keep close

Greek word: to be emotionally intellectually attached to; conceived of as gluing or attaching oneself to something.

This is an attachment—This goes deep

Mark 10:8 “8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.”

One flesh!

If I tell Kyle, I’m going to take my knife and cut off your pinky, what will happen?

He’s going to send knuckles in my direction.

Why? He has 9 more?!

‘Cause there ain’t no way you’re cutting off a piece of my body!

We would defend our physical body!

What does God say happens in marriage?

In the vows you took on your wedding day, in the promises, in the covenant we become ONE FLESH.

In the covenant of marriage, we are merge together as one!

Mark 10:9 “9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.””

Marriage, instituted by God, was created to be inseparable.

Our world doesn’t understand marriage

But the broken world in which we live have become so numb, that we’re able to separate with limbs from our bodies and we hardly notice it.

The law needed to be written because of the hardness of our hearts.

In our sin, not only have we broken God’s law, but we’ve broken the very nature of our being.

Now, it’s odd to live as if marriage is permanent.

It’s hard for people to fathom the commitment

So in our culture, we just don’t.

It’s easier to enjoy the gifts of sex and living together that are supposed to be reserved for marriage.

If we do marry, it’s hardly serious once we have issues.

I’ve heard people say, “After all, marriage is just a piece of paper.”

We’ve deduced the beautiful view of marriage down to a contractual agreement between two people who have already dipped into marital privileges so that they can show “we stood the test of time.”

This is a hard word. This sits heavy on our souls to hear this.

We’ve grown so used to this view of marriage, that when people don’t live together prior to marriage, they’re odd.

Unlike the Pharisees, the disciples take the posture of learners.

Help us understand better.

Mark 10:10–12 (ESV)

10 And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. 11 And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

Jesus takes wrongful divorce and remarriage seriously.

He calls it adultery.

Undoing the union of God that we were created for and making a different union.

A “no fault” divorce culture is at odds with a biblical view of marriage.

In this type of culture, we are not part taking in the fullness of life that God designed.

Now, I want to point out that there are legitimate biblical grounds for divorce.

Abuse

Abandonment

Adultery

If you’ve experienced any of these, I’m so sorry.

My heart breaks over these things.

No doubt, some of you have been seriously hurt by a spouse.

Biblically, these are grounds for divorce.

If these have happened to you and you’re still married:

Our aim, for your marriage, for your children, is reconciliation.

We know it’s possible.

If you’re considering a divorce, please talk with me first.

Where these are biblical grounds for divorce, we don’t have to.

Graceland cares about marriages and we have resources to come alongside you and heal wounds.

We also have resources to pour into your marriage.

Prevention is 10x more successful than intervention.

If you’re considering a divorce or even have biblical grounds for divorce, I want to lean in to your story.

I would love for you to see the gospel at work in your marriage.

Where we repent of sin, reconcile if possible, and receive God’s forgiveness.

You know what it takes? Grace, love, and forgiveness.

Love is more than a feeling. It’s a commitment. It’s an action.

Q: What if I’m already divorced and it wasn’t biblical?

A: Repent, reconcile if possible, and receive God’s forgiveness.

Good news: It’s not the unforgivable sin.

The grace and love of Jesus is for you.

What the Pharisees have done here is weaponize people’s hurt to try to trap Jesus.

But Jesus shows us that we were created for something greater.

Marriage is a picture of the gospel, not the law.

Marriage is more than piece of paper or a contract.

Church,

We were created for covenant, not contracts.

Our world has developed this view that marriage is a contract between two people that can be voided through some headache.

This is not what we were created for.

God recognizes the reality of the brokenness of this world, so He gave us grounds for divorce.

But this is not what we were created for.

We’ve settled for less that God’s beautiful design for our lives.

We’ve given ourselves away to adultery. Every single one of us.

Matthew 5:27–28 ESV

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Every single one of us has fallen into sexual sin and committed adultery in our hearts for another person.

None of us have escaped this.

More than that.

Gospel Presentation

We’ve all committed spiritual adultery

The Bible talks about Jesus’s relationship with us as a marriage.

And we’ve cheated. We’ve sinned. We’ve walked out and gave ourselves over to other gods in our lives.

But Jesus is a faithful and forgiving husband.

He didn’t let us go.

Jesus didn’t give us a certificate of divorce and send us away to the fires of hell.

Instead, Jesus gave Himself up for us.

He didn’t go to get a divorce. He went to the cross to bring us home.

Jesus didn’t take a contract to the cross. He took a covenant/a promise.

“I’m going to bring you home with me. I’m going to forgive ALL your sin and bring you home with me.

“Because I love you. Because I’m committed to you.”

Jesus has died to set us free from the guilt and shame of our sin!

Jesus has kept His promise to love us and to pursue us!

He won’t let us go!

If you’re here and you’re a Christian, you have this invitation to come home again.

Would you marry a bride if you knew at the altar she would cheat on you every day? Jesus did.

Jared C. Wilson.

The mercy of God is renewed every morning.

Jesus is continually pursuing us.

Nothing will ever stop His pursuit of you.

If you’re not a Christian, this covenant relationship with God is offered to you.

He is faithful when we are faithless

He is committed when we run out.

He loves us when we don’t reciprocate.

Through faith in Him, all your sin can be forgiven and you can be reconciled to God!

Okay, but how does this help me with marriage?

Whether you’re already married, planning to get married, or will one day get married:

What does being marriage and staying married require?

Soft Hearts

Good marriages are always marked by soft hearts.

When you marry someone, you enter into a covenant with a sinner.

When you spend time in close proximity with other sinners, you’re going to be sinned against.

This requires us to extend and receive forgiveness.

This means we need to meet one another with love, patience, and recognize that to have this blessing means that there’s going to be some times of discomfort.

What the Holy Spirit does in marriage is sanctify us.

Meaning He slowly reveals and cuts away sin in our lives and makes us more like Jesus.

Grit

One thing that isn’t really exemplified in marriage is grit.

Since we understand that we need to extend grace and patience, we need to have some grit and recognize that marriage is hard work!

Hilary and I don’t always agree on everything and there is sometimes friction.

There are times of intense joy, and there are times where we need to have some grit and think, “Okay, we’re going to have to work through this.

It’s in these moments where the marriage is at work.

The covenant is in tact when there’s friction and we hang in there!

Come what may, the covenant is what binds us together!

But we must recognize that this is going to take some grit and dirty work.

The Gospel

Marriage is and absolutely beautiful thing, because it’s a picture of the gospel.

God has given us the gift of marriage to put the gospel on display.

When a man and a woman live in biblical covenant with one another, that is a picture of Jesus and the church!

This is where we ask ourselves some questions

Does my marriage reflect the gospel?

If you’re not married, “How can I prepare myself to love my spouse in a way that would point others to the gospel?”

Time of response

Prayer Prompts