Surviving the Desert: When Your Family Is in Crisis

November 12th 2023

Series: Family Talk

Sermon Title: Surviving the Desert: When Your Family Is in Crisis

Topic: What to do when your family is in crisis.

Key Passages:Genesis 21:8-21 Hagar and Ishmael, John 19:25 & 28-30, John 4:14

Sermon Blurb: In today’s message we read about a couple that placed themselves in a time of crisis by not fully trusting God, and thrust others into crisis as well. We will also see how God is always there during our times of crisis and how He can help us through that.

Green in sermons means illustration, something we are looking for a response from, or a picture that goes on the screens.

Yellow means what is yellow will be on the screens and in the handout.

Sermon:

Hello Family Church!

Family Moment –

Dan / Steve we like to try and start our messages with something personal from our family life recently to help people get to know us.

Today we continue our series here at Family Church we are calling Family Talk because this whole month we are focused on families.

And we are excited about this series because it was written in partnership with our NEW preaching team partners at Winning at Home!

Last week talked about the power of blessing and how to shape your children’s future.

This week we will talk about surviving the desert, what to do when your family is in crisis.

And you will want to be back next week because next week is all about Shattered Expectations: When Your Dreams for Your Family Unravel.

Then we will wrap up the month by talking about, Maximum Impact: Building a Marriage on Mission…

I want to encourage you to try and be here every weekend this month because these are going to be powerful messages to help your entire family not just survive but thrive!!!!

PAUSE

I wish I could stand up here today and tell you all that if you give your life to Jesus…..

That like will always be sun shine and rainbows….

But that simply is not true…

At some point you will go through hard times.

At some point you will feel like you are alone in a desert….and you are dying….

At some point, you will have a crisis….

ADD a story like this:

A friend called me on Friday.

Her family is in crisis.

One of their adult daughters just postponed her July wedding: Indefinitely.

There is heartbreak and confusion.

Nobody is exactly sure what’s supposed to happen next.

But the stakes for what happens next are high.

PAUSE

In a room this big, the chances that some of our families are in crisis too is 100%.

There’s conflict in marriage over money, over the work schedules, over where to go for vacation.

There’s a hurt over how kids were treated at school this last year: by teacher, coaches, friends.

There’s tension over dating: how old is old enough, what time is curfew, can we trust each other?

If you’ve got a family crisis it can be paralyzing.

PAUSE

I know there are also people in this room that would say, “I have never been through a crisis.

My life is pretty awesome.

I don’t really have any trama in my life….ever.”

And if that is you….

I am SO HAPPY for you!!!!

Add a story like this:

That was me….for almost 40 years of life…..

Up until I was almost 40…..the hardest thing in my life had been losing a grandma I loved a LOT and a grandpa I sent so much time with.

Aside from that….

My life was great….

My real trama…

My real crisis….

My real hardship….

I had great parents who are still married….

I have great brothers who aren’t crazy or messed up….

I have an awesome wife….

I have 4 great kids….

I lead an amazing church…..

Then, as most of you know, all that changed one day when I ended up in the hospital because my son Wyatt had some weird red dots all over his legs…..

And then we found out he had cancer….

And we didn’t know how that would end…..

And after 39 AMAZING years…..

I was in a crisis….

And I didn’t know what to do…..

So I turned to the only place I knew that had the answers in life….

The Bible….

Jenny and I turned to God….

We choose to trust God…even when life was falling apart…

PAUSE

The Bible has so many stories about families in crisis.

Today I want to share one of those stories with you.

There’s a story in the Bible about a family in crisis.

And this story will remind us of this key point…

Write this down…

No matter what we are facing, God sees us.

Repeat

PAUSE

Let me show you this in your Bible…

Grab your Bibles and open them up to

Genesis 21

As you are getting there let me give you a little bit of background on who we are going to be reading about today….

This story happened over 3,000 years ago.

This story is about God promising a couple named Abraham & and Sarah they would have a son.

And after that PROMISE from God…..

Over a DECADE went by and they have NO children….

After waiting for more than a decade, they are still childless.

PAUSE

Let that sink in….

They swear…..

God made us this promise….

We have been patiently waiting…

Waiting over a DECADE…..

And God is CLEARLY failing at his side of the bargain…

We have no kids…

PAUSE

Have you ever been there in life????

Have you ever been at this place where you feel like God let you down?

Where you feel like God called you to do something and you did your part….

But God did not do His part?

Have you ever felt like God left? Abandoned you?

I would bet if we are honest…….

A lot of us have felt that….

PAUSE

And I would bet…..

We tend to respond just like Sarah & Abraham did….

We decided to make it happen….

If God isn’t going to do it….

We will….

PAUSE

So we learn in the Bible that Sarah says to Abraham in Genesis 16 that, “The Lord has kept her from having children…..

So I have this plan on how we can have kids….

Go, sleep with my slave girl…..

Go, sleep with our servant….

And when she has a baby….

We will claim it as ours…..

And we will build a family through her.”

PAUSE

Sarah’s words and actions in Genesis 16 say:

God cannot be trusted.

I need to take matters into my own hands.

I want a family!

And I want it now.

And I am going to make it happen!

I am DONE waiting on God!

PAUSE

Sarah is going to be the architect of her family.

And she doesn’t care who she has to run over to get what she wants.

God is cut out of the process.

Which will be damaging to her faith

She puts Abraham, her husband, in an impossible situation.

Which will be damaging to their marriage.

Her servant Hagar is an Egyptian slave….

Hagar has no family….

Hagar is totally dependent on Sarah for her survival.

Now her boss is demanding she sleep with her husband.

Hagar is forced into an sexual encounter she doesn’t want.

For a master she doesn’t trust.

To bear a child she doesn’t get to keep.

PAUSE

You want to talk about your family being in crisis!

You want to talk about feeling like you are all alone!

You want to talk about not knowing what to do!

Sarah is there.

Abraham is there.

Hagar is there…

All of them are in a crisis…

PAUSE

So later in Gensis 16 Hagar gets pregnant.

Then Hagar starts taunting Sarah!!!!

Then Sarah blames Abraham for all of this!!!

Then Sarah abuses Hagar!!!

So, Hagar runs away!!!

Then an angel tells her to go back home.

And shockingly she does and gives birth to a son, Ishamel.

There is the crazy background to where we pick up today in Genesis 21…

Where we pickup in the Bible is 14 years later….

Now Abraham and Sarah have a son, Isaac.

Genesis 21:8-16 The child (Isaac) grew and was weaned, and on the day Isaac was weaned Abraham held a great feast.

9 But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking,

10 and she said to Abraham, “Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.”

11 The matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son.

12 But God said to him, “Do not be so distressed about the boy and your slave woman. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.

13 I will make the son of the slave into a nation also, because he is your offspring.”

14 Early the next morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar.

He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the Desert of Beersheba.

15 When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes.

16 Then she went off and sat down about a bowshot away, for she thought, “I cannot watch the boy die.” And as she sat there, she began to sob.

Stop there…..

I want you all to picture what is going on here….

Sarah is the reason all of this is happening…

Because Sarah did NOT want to wait on God this is the result.

And now they send off Hagar and their son….who Sarh wanted SO BAD…..

They send them out in the desert to most likely die….

Hagar and her teenage son get however much water they can carry….

Maybe a few gallons.

They walk…

And walk…

And walk…

And walk…

And then the water skin runs dry….

Any hope for survival dries up.

They are going to die….

They are going to die because someone else made bad choices…

PAUSE

Maybe your family is in crisis, or was in crisis because of someone…

NOT YOU…

Made a bad choice…

PAUSE

And if you, or your family, are in crisis I want you to see something….

Look at what happens next in the Bible…..

17 God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her,

“What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there.

18 Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation.”

Do you see it church??? God heard the boy crying.

God called to Hagar.

EVERYONE abandoned Hagar and her son….

But God did NOT abandon them!

Twice now Hagar has taken off…

Twice now God has met Hagar in the midst of her crisis….

Twice God has been there for Hagar when she was experiencing a crisis that was NOT of her own making…

PAUSE

But look at this verse again…..

If begins with a question from an angel….

“What’s the matter, Hagar?”

Empathy.

Then the angel shifts to encouragement….

Do not be afraid….

Then the angel reminds her that God is here…….

God has heard the boy crying.

You are not forgotten!

You are not alone!

You are not abandoned by God!

Then the angel gives instructions:

Lift him up.

Take him by the hand.

Let your child know you are there for him.

Let your child know you have NO abandoned him!

Let your child know it will be OK!

Then the angel gives them this GREAT promise:

I will make him into a great nation.

PAUSE

In the middle of this family crisis….

God makes a GREAT promise to this woman who feels like here whole world is imploding around her….

Maybe you have been there….

Maybe your world imploded when you heard the word divorce.

Maybe your world imploded when you lost someone…

Maybe your world imploded when you got cut from the team…

Maybe your world imploded when you had a miscarriage.

Maybe your world imploded when…..

PAUSE

Church hear me in this….

Even when life seems to be crashing in around you.

Even when your family is in crisis.

Even when you feel like everyone has abandoned you….

God IS still there!

God is STILL looking out for you!

Lead into God….

And trust God even when it seems like he is not there…

PAUSE

Because it says in verse 19….

Right after this….

19 Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink.

20 God was with the boy as he grew up. He lived in the desert and became an archer.

21 While he was living in the Desert of Paran, his mother got a wife for him from Egypt.

God opened her eyes….

It doesn’t say God made a spring come up!

It doesn’t say God created a spring suddenly.

It says, “God opened her eyes!”

It says God HELPER her see what was right in front of her!

A life-giving resource.

God reveals a well that is already there.

Because here is the point….

Sometimes our emotions block us from seeing God’s provision.

Repeat

The well was there! She just didn’t see it!

She was so overcome with her emotions.

So overcome with her situation…

She need God….to help her see…

To help her see….he would always care for her….

And God will do the same for you!

PAUSE

God walked with Ishmael as he grew up.

It’s hard to be a single mom.

Harder being a single mom raising a child in the desert!

Verse 20 says he became an archer.

God fills the gaps Hagar can’t fill.

He became an archer which means…..

1) He can get food.

2) He can defend them from predators or bad people.

Who helped him become an archer?

God did!

PAUSE

Let me close with this….

What’s the lesson for those of us who are in crisis?

Hagar’s story gives us 5 prayers to pray for our families.

1. God hears.

God hears our weeping.

God hears our pain.

God hears our cries for help.

God even hears the cries we never verbalize for help.

2. God speaks.

Speaks encouragement.

Speaks wisdom.

Speaks promises to us.

God speaks…. We need to learn how to listen.

3. God opens.

Open our eyes to what we can’t see.

God opens doors for us.

Friendship doors…

Financial provision….

Counselors and so on.

4. God walks.

Walks with each of my kids through their respective deserts.

God walks with me through my day to day.

God walks side by side with us…..

This passage clearly says God was with her son as he grew up. (16-17)

5. God shapes.

Lord, shape my son.

Shape my daughter.

Shape my spouse into the person you want them to be.

Shape me into the man you created me to be.

PAUSE

Later God keeps His promise to both Hagar and Abraham for Ishmael.

He grew up to have 12 sons.

And today, 1.8 billion Muslims trace their heritage back to Ishmael if you are not aware.

Similar to how Jesus was forgotten & and rejected like Ishmael.

Jesus was rejected.

Jesus was abandoned.

Jesus identifies with us when we are rejected/abandoned.

John 19:25 & 28-30 Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother,

28 Later, knowing that everything had now been finished, and so that Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I am thirsty.”

29 A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus’ lips.

30 When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

Jesus became the slave so that we might be released of our slavery.

Jesus suffered so that we might be freed from our suffering.

Jesus died so that we might live.

Jesus thirst so that we’ll never be thirsty again.

But Jesus said….

John 4:14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

So let me end today with our life application…

A way for you to take home this message and apply it to your life….

Life Application: God is there, even when we feel alone. How could you position yourself now to hear from God when a crisis hits? I will ________.

Let’s Pray…..