Twisted Scripture - Week 7

Proverbs 22:6

Today’s passage is one that is commonly taken out of context by believers. Many have used this verse to claim that as long as you raise a child properly, they will always end up where they need to be. This has led many good christian parents to confusion and sorrow when they raise their child doing everything they could, and that child still ends up living a life in sin in the world or never being saved. They will blame themselves or other people will blame them and claim that if they had raised them the right way, they never would’ve ended up the way they did. While this may sometimes be the case, it most certainly is not always true.

I. What is the Context of this Passage?

The Book of Proverbs is a unique one in Scripture. It is not really a book that can be read like the other ones and be understood the same way. It is a collection of proverbs, or “short sayings that impart great wisdom”. Its not like a chapter book that has a progressive story to it, it is a book that has to be taken one proverb at a time, which is often only 1-2 verses long.

I use to get very frustrated when I read the book of Proverbs because I would try to read it like I read all the other books of the Bible. I would try to read a chapter but there were so many different thoughts that were seemingly unrelated to each other. But the book of Proverbs has to be read differently than all the other books to be properly understood.

The book of Proverbs was written by a young King Solomon and he was writing these words of wisdom to his oldest son. Solomon was known as the wisest man who ever lived and he wanted his son to make the right choices and live his life in such a way that would please God.

It is also important to note that not everything in Proverbs is necessarily a promise. Much of what is written in the book of Proverbs are general principles for life, meaning if you follow them, the end results will, most of the time, be what you want it to be, but it is not always guaranteed. There are exceptions that happen. This verse is a great example of that!

Proverbs is a book of wisdom, not necessarily a book of guarantees.

What does the Bible say about parenting?

Colossians 3:21 “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”

Ephesians 6:4 “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

Deuteronomy 6:6–7 “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”

Proverbs 13:24 “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: But he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”

2 Corinthians 12:14b “for the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children.”

These all speak of the parents responsibility to their children, but notice that in none of these verses does it promise that the child will turn out a certain way. Why? Because the child still has a free will and must choose Christ just like anyone else.

II. What is this Passage Really Saying?

So then comes the question, what then does this proverb really mean? What is God trying to tell us with this verse?

Let’s break down the verse

“Train up” = Children need training. The job of the parent is not to simply let the child grow up any way they want to, but to train him/her to grow up the way they need to, particularly “in the way he should go”.

The direct translation of the Hebrew word is “dedicate” and is often used for the consecrating of any thing, house, or person, the the service of God

“in the way he should go” = This phrase has 2 different meanings that both apply here.

It speaks of the child’s individual way and inclination. It means to discern a child’s strengths and weaknesses and parenting in a way that takes those into account.

No 2 children are the same, therefore, not every child can be parented the exact same way.

The Book of Proverbs often presents the concept of “the way” - being the path of wisdom and life in contrast to the way of folly and destruction.

A more literal translation of this verse would be “dedicate a child according to his way”. The true business of training a child therefore, is that of discovering what those child’s abilities are, and developing them.

God makes no mistakes in how He created each one of us. He gave each of us individual personalities and talents that are not exactly like the person next to you. If God gives your child an artistic personality, dont stifle that, develop it to the point that your child can use it for God’s glory. The same applies for if your child is musically inclined, athletic, very smart, etc.

“when he is old, he will not depart from it” = this is a wonderful principle that reminds us that if we train up our children the proper way, in PRINCIPLE (not guaranteed), they will either stay in “the way” or if they depart will eventually return to “the way”

Example: Prodigal son

Solomon himself proved that this was not an absolute promise, but a principle. For he departed from “the way” for many years before finally returning in his old age.

Keep in mind that Proverbs is mainly addressed to youths, not parents. If the parents were ultimately responsible for all of the child’s moral choices, there would be no need to address this book to the youth.

This is also a reminder to us that we cannot blame our parents for the choices that WE make. Our parents are not perfect, but i would venture to guess that most, if not all of your parents did all they could to train you and I up in “the way” but at the end of the day, the choice is YOURS if you will continue in that “way”.

There are many cases of people who were raised to believe the right things, and then when they got older, they abandoned all those things. Most of us can probably name a couple that we know

Sometimes, that IS the parents fault if they are not training up the child properly and not setting a good example at home of what a Christian looks like. The “live one way at church and another way at home” mentality.

But in many cases, the parents have done all they can and their child still never got saved, or maybe they did but they became prodigal for many years. In these instances, we should not shame the parents, because God will not force someone else to do right just because you have done right.

III. How Can We Apply This Passage?