Ephesians 4:1-32 - Discipleship and Discipling

Introduction

In his helpful little book on discipling, Mark Dever (who is the Senior Pastor of Capitol Hill Baptist Church, and he’s maybe the most influential churchman alive today) described the natural tendency we all have as modern westerners to think and live as individuals. Dever quoted a famous nineteenth-century poet who said, “I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.”

Then Dever wrote, “It’s not just the poets and writers who love their independence. The population at large is disengaging from their clubs, civic associations, and local churches… [It is now common to see] family members texting friends while ignoring each other at the dinner table… And more and more people are choosing to live alone.”

Dever cited an American sociologist, Eric Klinenberg, who wrote, “In 1950… only 4 million Americans lived alone, and they accounted for less than 10 percent of all households. [In 2013], more than 32 million Americans [were] going solo [or living alone]. That represents 28 percent of all households…” And I expect that those numbers have only grown over the last 10 years.

Dever then asked the question, “What going on?” One explanation is that many people are increasingly placing a higher value on personal convenience and a lower value on shared commitments. As Dever described, “Today is the day of iPhones and iPads, iTunes and – let’s just say – the whole i-life.” But then he asked, “is there any space in the i-life for the we-life of Christianity?”

Friends, today I’m arguing that we intentionally need to make space for the we-life of Christianity. We are concluding our 2023 topical series today on Christian living – How Should We Live? – and we are focusing on the necessary and essential nature of Christian living… It is communal, not private or individual.

The way I’m phrasing it today is to argue that the way Christians personally grow in spiritual maturity is by communal participation with other Christians who are committed to mutual edification.

The way Mark Dever phrased it in his book on discipling is to say that “[God] sent his Son to call out a people to follow him. And part of following the Son is calling still more to follow the Son… [Jesus] gave [a] last command before ascending to heaven: go and make disciples (Matt. 29:19). [Therefore], the lives of the people [who follow Jesus] should be dedicated to helping others follow Jesus.”

Let’s read a passage of Scripture that speaks directly to this concept of discipling, and let’s consider what we might learn and apply from it this morning. The passage we are reading comes from the beginning of the second half of a letter written by the Apostle Paul to the church in Ephesus, wherein he calls them to live in light of the reality (the doctrine) of the gospel and in keeping with the design (the commands) for Christian living… for the purpose of growing up in Christ.

Scripture Reading

Ephesians 4:1–32 (ESV)

1 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. 7 But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift. 8 Therefore it says, “When he ascended on high he led a host of captives, and he gave gifts to men.”

9 (In saying, “He ascended,” what does it mean but that he had also descended into the lower regions, the earth? 10 He who descended is the one who also ascended far above all the heavens, that he might fill all things.) 11 And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, 12 to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, 13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, 14 so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.

15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

17 Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. 18 They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. 19 They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity.

20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. 28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Main Idea:

The way Christians personally grow in spiritual maturity is by communal participation with other Christians who are committed to mutual edification.

Sermon

1. Defining Our Terms

I think Mark Dever defines discipleship and discipling well when he says that discipleship is “me following Jesus,” and discipling is “me helping others to follow Jesus.” Discipleship, then, is the entirety of my Christian life. It begins with my hearing and believing the gospel about Christ and my turning away from sinful self-gratification and toward an ongoing self-denial through faith and obedience. In other words, discipleship is all of my Christian life, but it begins with conversion.

I grew up going to church all the time, and my mother regularly pointed me toward knowing and following Jesus. But when I was in my late teens, I came to believe that Jesus is my Savior and Lord. I had heard that Jesus died for sinners, but I came to believe that He had died for me… that He suffered my penalty under God’s wrath… and that He traded His righteousness for my sinfulness. I had heard that Jesus was the Lord of all, but I came to believe that He deserved my gratitude, my love, and my worship… which includes my obedience to His commands.

That was the beginning of my life as a disciple or follower of Jesus. I believed that He was and is my Savior and my Lord, and I began to live with a new affection for Him and new desire to truly honor Him with my thoughts and my words and my deeds. I don’t do that perfectly, I don’t even do that well sometimes, but I do consistently love Christ, and I do consistently want to live for Him.

Friends, that is where we all must begin. I’m not arguing today that we earn our good standing before God by living as faithful disciples. But I am arguing that we grow as disciples by communally participating with other Christians who are committed to mutual edification. We become disciples (we become Christians) by hearing the gospel, by believing or trusting in Christ, and by giving ourselves over to Him… trusting that His promises are true and that His commands are good.

And if you want to talk more about what it means to become a Christian, then let’s connect after the service today.

But many of us have already become Christians (we have heard and believed the gospel, and we have committed to following Christ), and we are now living a life of discipleship. We have been baptized in the name of Christ (i.e., we have taken on the name of our Savior and become citizens of His visible kingdom), and we truly want to live according to His commands… which is what it means to be a disciple. And we are now committed to the lifelong effort of learning who Christ is, learning what Christ has commanded, and living in faith and obedience to Him.

And Christ Himself has designed our lives as disciples to be communal. We need others to disciple us, and we also need to be discipling others. Discipling, then, is the ongoing effort of Christians (i.e., disciples) to come alongside other Christians with the aim to learn and grow together. We learn from each other what it means and what it looks like to live in faith and obedience toward Christ.

Friends, discipling is not an optional feature of Christianity, reserved only for those super Christians who are really ambitious. Discipling is a subset of our regular and ordinary discipleship… it is the way that Christians grow as Christians.

You can see this all throughout our text this morning. How do Christians “walk in a manner worthy of [their] calling” (v1)? They “walk” or live with “all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love” (v2). They “eagerly maintain the unity [with one another] of the Spirit” (v3). They all live as “one body,” with “one Lord,” with “one faith” (i.e., a shared doctrine), and with “one baptism,” which designates who is part of the “one body” (v4-5).

We will look more into all of this in just a bit, but surely you can see how this passage is speaking so clearly to the communal nature of Christianity.

Brothers and sisters, I wonder how you regularly think about your life as a Christian. Are you prone to think in terms of individual practices and behaviors? Or are you regularly thinking in terms of your Christian life in relationship with other Christians? Do you often measure your spiritual health and growth by your own spiritual disciplines (Have I read the Bible this week? Have I prayed this week? Have I sinned less this week?)? Or do you realize that your relationships with others are a far better measurement of your spiritual health and growth?

Discipleship is me following Jesus, and discipling is me helping others follow Jesus… and these two are definitionally connected.

2. Discipling in Scripture

Now that we’ve done a little front work (defining our terms), let’s look more closely at our passage for this morning to see how the Bible describes this discipling effort and how it teaches us the purpose or goal of discipling. I’ve already pointed to several features of discipling in our passage, but these may not be so obvious to some of us, so let me go back and start at v1.

This letter from the Apostle Paul to the church in Ephesus is all about what it means to be a Christian and what it looks like to “walk” (v1) or “live” (NIV) as Christians. They were once “dead in the trespasses and sins” that so characterize all “mankind” who are “by nature children of wrath” (Eph. 2:1-3). They were once “strangers” to God’s “covenants” and without “hope… in the world” (Eph. 2:12).

But God had “made [them] alive together with Christ” (Eph. 2:5). God “saved” them by His “grace” (Eph. 2:5) and brought them into a new way of “walking” or “living” (Eph. 2:10). They were no longer “strangers and aliens” to God’s covenantal blessings, but they had become “fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God” (Eph. 2:19).

Friends, a Christian is not just someone who says, “I believe in Jesus.” A Christian is not just someone who wears jewelry in the shape of a cross, someone who just “says grace” before meals, or someone who just votes conservative.

A Christian is someone who has been radically affected by the power of God’s Spirit, someone who now loves the Lord Jesus Christ, and someone who now lives with a whole new purpose and motivation in life.

And what does that new way of “living” or “walking” look like? Well, let’s read about it together… Paul says, “I… urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called” (v1). In other words, “walk in keeping with the name you now bear – Christ-ian.”

This new and Christian way of walking is “humble” and “gentle” and “patient” (v2). And these are played out in relationship with “one another” (v2). And in this passage, the phrase “one another” is defined by those who are among the “one body” (v4), those who share the “one hope” of the gospel (v4), those who submit to the same “Lord,” those who share the same “faith” or “belief,” and those who have been “baptized” into fellowship with Christ and with one another (v5).

In other words, the Christian way of living is played out in the loving relationships of many Christians who are all following Christ together. Christian disciples follow Jesus together, discipling “one another” as they all aim to “walk” or “live” as Christians (both individually and collectively).

You know, I sometimes hear people talk about being a Christian without being a member of a local church. God help us… sometimes I even hear about a church that doesn’t practice anything like church membership. But this exposes a totally unbiblical way of thinking… about the church and about the Christian life. It is impossible to live as a Christian – the way this passage is describing it – without being a member of a local church.

The “one another” commands of the New Testament require the sort of relationships that only a local church is designed to give you. You can have Christian friends, but only fellow church members can publicly affirm or reject your profession of faith. Your Christian friends may comfort you in times of doubt or fear, but only fellow church members welcome you to the Lord’s table again and again to reassure you that the sign of the New Covenant belongs to you.

Friends, churching together is not less than regularly gathering in the name of Christ on the Lord’s day, but it is far more than that… and if you want to talk more about what it means to be a member of a local church and why church membership is an essential characteristic of living as a Christian in the world, then let’s connect after the service today.

Back to our passage… Discipling is described here as a communal practice of “walking” or “living” together in a distinctly Christian way… with “humility,” “gentleness,” and “patience” (v2). In v15, we see that discipling includes “speaking the truth in love” to one another (v15). And v17-24 makes it clear that the “truth” we speak is meant to have an effect on the way we all “walk” (v17).

Christians are not to continue in “ignorance” (v18), which produces all kinds of “impurity” or sin (v19). But instead, Christians are to “put off” the “old self” (v22), and they are to “put on the new self” (v24), which is “created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (v24). All of this speaks to Christian growth, and all of it is in the context of the “one body” relationships (v4), where Christians are “members of one another” (v25).

Again, discipling is “me helping others follow Jesus,” and it is the basic function of the organic and structured relationships we have among a local church. To be a Christian is to be a disciple, and to be a church member is to sign up for the responsibility and the benefits of discipling. For those of us who are members of FBC Diana, just think of the responsibilities and benefits in our Membership Covenant. These are a summary of what we are signing up for as church members.

Now before we get into some practical ways we all might make intentional plans to disciple and be discipled, let’s quickly notice one more thing – the purpose of discipling. Starting in v7, the Apostle Paul turns his attention toward various “gifts” that Christ has “given” (v7). Quoting from Psalm 68, Paul compares Christ’s deliverance of His people from sin and death to God’s deliverance of the people of Israel from slavery in Egypt. And like God did for OT Israel, Christ does for His New Covenant people… He gives them gifts for the purpose of “equipping the saints” (v12) and for “building up” or “edifying” the “body of Christ” (v12).

There’s no need to get bogged down by the handful of “gifts” mentioned in v11 today. In my view (which is in keeping with the way Baptists have understood this historically), these are referring to the various sorts of people Christ has given for the “equipping” and the “edifying” of Christians. This passage is not intended as a list of titles for various church offices, but rather a summary list of the sorts of people who specially contribute to the “building up” and “equipping” of the saints.[i]

The NT only names two offices for the church: one is that of deacon and the other is that of pastor or elder or overseer. These terms (pastor, elder, and overseer) are used interchangeably in the NT, and they all refer to the same office. In my view, the phrase “shepherds and teachers” in v11 is highlighting what pastors or elders do. We use both titles around here (“pastor” and “elder”), but we are referring to the same biblical office… Our elders are pastors, and vice versa.

Once again, we don’t need to get bogged down here, and I’m always happy to talk church polity (so just let me know later if you’d like to discuss this more), but the main thing we want to note from v11-13 is what we read in v13. These gifts are for “equipping” and “building up” the “body of Christ” (v12)… “until [or “as far as” or “to the point that”; the word signals a final destination] we all attain the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ” (v13).

In other words, spiritual maturity (growing in “faith” and “knowledge of the Son of God”) is the purpose for which Christ has given these gifts. And spiritual maturity is the purpose or goal or destination that every member is to be striving for… together. See v15, “we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body [i.e., all church members], joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part [i.e., each member] is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love” (v15-16).

The way we all grow in spiritual maturity (individually) is by all of us playing our parts (collectively) as a whole unified body which is committed to mutual edification… We all commit ourselves to discipling one another and to being discipled by one another… for the purpose of building up the whole body.

3. Disciplines of Discipling

If you’re following my sermon up to this point, you might be expecting that what I’m about to do is propose some new strategy or program for discipling. Many churches make their particular discipling strategy the central characteristic that distinguishes their church from all others.

You can Google “discipleship strategy,” and you’ll find A 4-Fold Strategy for Making Disciples, Deep Discipleship (a complete curriculum for every age-segregated group in your church), and a Titus 2 Discipleship program (which provides an 8-week schedule for various discussions, projects, and activities).

Now, I’m not saying that a program is necessarily bad. In fact, I’m glad for the way that many Christians are engaging in discipling efforts through such programs. But ultimately, the ministry philosophy we’ve tried to apply here is one that resembles both a regulated and a free-market approach… And I think it’s helpful to think in terms of our church members being “gathered” and “scattered.”

As a gathered church, we do three things that fundamentally shape all of us as disciples. These activities are highly regulated and also compulsory.

First, every Sunday morning, we gather as a church in the name of Christ to sing the word of God, to pray the word, and to hear the word preached. This is the basic rhythm and practice of the Christian life that can be traced back to the very beginning. This weekly gathering does more than anything else to shape our perspective of Christianity throughout the entirety of our lives. And it is impossible to overstate the importance of what we are doing together when we gather as a church on the Lord’s day.

Second, every second Sunday of the month, we gather a second time as a church in the name Christ. These Sunday evening prayer and praise gatherings include the same elements as the Sunday morning gatherings, but there is an increased emphasis on prayers of supplication. We pray for our church, we pray for specific areas of need among our members, and we pray for other churches as well as various concerns in the broader world.

These Sunday evening gatherings are also a regular time for church members to observe the Lord’s Supper together. We conclude every one of these Sunday evenings by observing the Supper and spending some time in fellowship together. Once again, it is impossible to overstate the importance of our collective participation during these monthly gatherings.

Third, six times a year we gather for a members’ meeting, following the evening prayer and praise gathering. These members’ meetings are the place and time for us to be informed as a church and for us to formally practice congregationalism (voting members in and out, and voting on our church officers and volunteers). It is our congregational duty and privilege to participate in these members’ meetings.

If you are a church member, then you have committed to participating in these three things (Sunday mornings, monthly Sunday evenings, and occasional members’ meetings). Membership with FBC Diana means (at the very least) regular participation in these specific ways. The benefits and responsibilities of church membership are heavily transacted during those three gatherings.

And notice that I am saying that these are the “gathered” ways that we all participate in discipling. We show up on Sundays to receive benefits (for sure), but we should also be thinking about the ways we are discipling others by the frequency of our attendance and what we do when we’re here.

When we prioritize the gathering of the saints of the Lord’s day (and hardly miss a Sunday at church), we are discipling others about the importance of what we’re doing together each Sunday. When we arrive early and stay late, we are discipling others through our conversations and by the sheer demonstration that we love and value the time of being together. When we sing and pray and vote at members’ meetings, we are discipling others, showing them what it practically looks like to be a Christian disciple in communal relationship with other disciples.

The first thing I would say about the disciplines of discipling is take seriously the few things we do as a gathered church. If you need help understanding why these are important, then I encourage you to ask a fellow church member who seems to value all of this more highly than you do.

We keep the church calendar pretty clear on purpose, and the few things we do all together are those most important discipling activities we do as a gathered church. Let me turn now to some things we might do as a scattered church. We spend most of our lives as scatteredChristians, not gathered ones… And I want to encourage us all to think of our scattered discipling as a free-market approach.

After our morning gathering is over, and before our evening gathering begins tonight, we will be scattered. On Monday at our job, in our classroom, or running errands, we will be scattered. Every evening when we are with our families, each week when we are interacting with people at the grocery store, and during most hours of every day, we are scattered… individual Christians with distinct resources, personalities, and life-circumstances… individual Christians who are quite free to be about the task of discipling in all sorts of ways (many of which require no or only little change to our present schedule).

If you are a disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ, then you are a walking and talking discipler. The way you live, the way you speak, the way you budget your time and your money, the way you parent, the way you work, the way you relax, the way you study, the way you celebrate, and the way you mourn… all of these and more are a display of how you are following Christ (how you are being a disciple of the Lord Jesus). And other Christians (and non-Christians too) can learn from you… if you will aim to live openly and honestly… not in isolation.

Here's what I mean… I’m not going to name names, but I’m going to point out some ways that I’ve seen some of you or heard some of you discipling others in a free-market as scattered church members.

I know several couples among our church who make a practice of regularly inviting others over for meals. The conversations span a whole bunch of topics, but they are building relationships, and they are often bringing up subjects that encourage Christian gratitude and growth in understanding.

I also know of several couples who regularly meet together for fellowship and games. They play and laugh together, they enjoy good fellowship and food together, and they share their lives with one another.

I know of some church members who meet regularly with co-workers and friends to read the Bible, to discuss it, and to pray for each other.

I know a few families that read the Bible with their kids, and they also read other books designed to teach children the gospel. They make conversations about doctrine, Bible stories, and Christian living part of their normal family experience.

I know of at least one family who has used catechisms to teach their children the basics of Christian belief. While kids don’t understand all that they are repeating from a catechism, memorizing these truths at a young age will serve as the material you’ll build with in later conversations with them when they’re older.

I know a few different collections of church members have text-groups, where they share prayer requests, life news, and other information to keep each other up to date with how things are going.

Some church members enjoy hobbies together, some go on trips together, and some help each other with chores (like chopping wood, fixing cars, sharing hand-me-down clothes, preparing meals, and more).

Sometimes our discipling efforts as a scattered church will require organizing (making plans on the calendar, deciding how much money to spend, or choosing a location), but very often we can simply do the stuff we are already doing and just invite others into our lives for the purpose of doing each other some spiritual and meaningful good.

If you’re early in your discipleship, then look for and ask around for an older disciple to invest in you. If you’re further along in your discipleship, then look for and ask around for a younger disciple to come along with you.

Read the Bible together. Pray together. Talk about life’s ups and downs together. Confess sin to one another. Ask probing questions about how others are doing. And generally look for ways to help other people follow Jesus.

Brothers and sisters, the way Christians personally grow in spiritual maturity is by communal participation with otherChristians who are committed to mutual edification. May God help us each and all to grow together as disciples.

Endnotes

[i] Christ gave “the apostles” as authoritative messengers to preach the gospel and complete the foundation of Christianity immediately after Jesus ascended to the throne of glory (Eph. 2:20). We have the record of apostolic teaching today in the written text of Scripture, and we are still benefitting from this wonderful gift. So too, we have the written words of “the prophets,” and we can see that the New Testament Apostles didn’t invent something entirely new, but rather they preached that Christ was the fulfillment of all that had been prophesied before (see again the connection of “prophets” and “apostles” in Eph. 2:20 and 3:5). Christ also gave the gifts of “evangelists,” and this refers to those Christians who were especially productive at proclaiming the gospel alongside and beyond the reach of the Apostles. The noun “evangelist” only appears three times in the New Testament. In Acts 21:8 Philip is called an “evangelist,” and in 2 Timothy 4:5 Timothy is charged to “do the work of an evangelist.” This third appearance of the noun “evangelist” is particularly interesting, since it comes as a charge for one who is serving in the role of elder or pastor. Philip was something of a traveling preacher of the gospel, but Timothy was settled in local church ministry for several years in Ephesus. As a matter of fact, the letter Paul wrote to the church in Ephesus would have been received by the church even as they could look to Timothy as a present and visible example of three of the five nouns listed in Ephesians 4:11. Timothy was an “evangelist,” a “shepherd,” and a “teacher.” These last two nouns (shepherd and teacher) are either explicitly or implicitly connected to the office of elder or overseer. Again, this verse is not a list of church offices. Offices are explicitly mentioned elsewhere in the New Testament, and the only two ever articulated are those of elder/overseer and deacon. The common use of the title “pastor” is simply a cultural preference, referring to the biblical office of elder/overseer.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

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