Sometimes Winning Means Losing

Hey—if you’re new and this is your first time at Prairie Lakes or your first time to church in a long time: welcome. We’re genuinely glad you’re here. Maybe you wanna stay mostly anonymous… and that’s fine. Or maybe a friend invited you and has been introducing you around. (Which I hope is also fine? Just know that they mean well.)

But if this weekend is your first weekend, let me catch you up a little bit to where we’ve been and what you’ll be listening along to for the next few minutes:

We’re going to finish a series that we’ve been in for the last few weeks called “Not In It to Win It.” Not in it to win it.

It was inspired by a book of the same title that a pastor, Andy Stanley, wrote after the crazyness of the pandemic and the 2020 election and all of that. And he wrote it as a helpful response and even correction to how he saw his church (and a lot of churches) navigate all of the polarizing, arguing, and fighting the rest of the country was getting embroiled in.

Basically what he was seeing was this:

The church didn’t seem to be a place that looked much different from the rest of the world.

It seemed to be just as divisive.

It seemed to draw the same battle lines.

It seemed to be subject to the same arguments, and misunderstandings, and fears that the rest of the country and the rest of the world was all wrapped up in.

And so he wrote this book to remind us that we should be different—because Jesus ways are different.

And so here’s what we thought:

1 year out from what’s shaping up to be just as contentious of an election,

With serious crises in the Middle East and the Ukraine still unfolding,

With some of the same voices and factions calling for our attention and allegiance,

What if we took an opportunity in this series to just hit pause and be reminded of who Jesus is and what he said—

And specifically, how he taught us to live as his followers and as a community in a world that seems to always be in crisis?

Big Idea: Sometimes Winning Means Losing

So here’s the idea this weekend as we wrap up. Here it is:

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If you want to follow Jesus, sometimes winning means losing.

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That’s the idea we’ll be diving into as we finish our series. Here’s where we’ll start:

Illustration: The Last Dance

Back in 2020, there were parts of that year where pretty much all we did was huddle around our TVs at home. Remember that? Our internet and streaming services got a workout. Lots of hours put on those screens.

But one of the most anticipated documentaries came out that same year—and I’m guessing more than a few of us watched either part or all of it:

It was called “The Last Dance.”

And it was a 10-part documentary series on Michael Jordan and the 1990’s Chicago Bulls dynasty.

And as a kid who was playing organized sports during the 90’s, who loved playing basketball, and who loved the Bulls, 40-year old me couldn’t wait for that to come out.

And when it did, it didn’t disappoint—and actually, it was really unique in this regard:

They showed their documentary footage to Michael and got his reaction to it—and then incorporated his reactions into the documentary itself.

So: you’d hear from some of his biggest rivals from back then or some of his teammates from back then recount what it was like to play with him or play against him…

And then you’d also get to see Jordan’s reaction to what they said—in the documentary. It was like you were in the room with him, watching the same footage, and getting to experience his reaction in real time.

Now, Jordan was a legendary competitor. He hated to lose. At anything. Anything.

And the stakes always had to be high—even if he had to make something up for them to be high. Which drove him to be so successful, winning 6 championships, (2) 3-peats, in a decade.

But in episode (7) of The Last Dance, they’ve got an iPad in front of him, and he’s watching some of their footage from his teammates who shared what it was like to be on his team. To practice with him. To guard him. To play in a game with him. To get yelled at or challenged or pushed or sometimes even punched.

They talked about how intimidated they were at times. Or what it was like to be confronted by him. Driven by him.

And he starts to get emotional as he’s watching. The 6-time NBA champion, 6-foot-6 guard from North Carolina, greatest to ever play the game, Michael Jordan—starts to cry.

And he looks up from the iPad to the person interviewing him, and essentially says:

“This is who I am. That’s how I played the game. And if you don’t want to play like that, then you don’t have to. But...”

And his emotions get the best of him.

And he says, “Break,” and walks off camera.

He’s 20 years into retirement. It’s been two decades. But it’s like he’s being confronted for the first time with the cost of his “win at all costs” approach.

Now, you can’t argue with the results: 6 NBA finals; 6 championships.

But you also can’t argue with the consequences, either. Cost him a lot—especially in his relationships.

Transition

I think that’s what was so interesting to me as I watched that part of episode 7. What a contrast between Jordan in his 20s and 30s and Jordan in his 50s.

20s and 30s Jordan: win. We’re here to win. Period. Get on board, or get out of the way.

But 50s Jordan… 50s Jordan said the same thing, but with tears in his eyes. Because he was far enough removed to see the cost of his approach.

Isn’t it ironic, but so familiar, so universally human, even, how...

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It is so easy for us to convince ourselves that something is more important than someone.

(John 8:1-11)

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Exegesis: John 8:1-11

Turn in your Bibles with me if you would to John 8.

(Explain how to find John.)

Let’s just read this story together first:

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John 8:1–11“but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.”

“When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

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Here’s what we’ve said so far:

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If you want to follow Jesus, sometimes winning means losing.

It is so easy for us to convince ourselves that something is more important than someone.

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And maybe you can start to see what we mean by that in this story from John 8.

You can see Jesus live that second idea out pretty clearly.

What’s more important, Jesus?

What the law says about what she did?

What the consequences are?

The Word of God?

The truth? The hard but holy truth?

Any of those things?

I mean, those are some big things. Right?

The law. The consequences. The Word of God. The truth. Big, big things.

But someone was more important than something to Jesus. Even those things.

And listen:

We believe that Jesus was God. Jesus is God. In fact, earlier in John, he describes Jesus as the Word of God:

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John 1:1 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”

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So whatever Jesus says, God says. If Jesus prioritizes it, that’s because God prioritizes it. If someone is more important than something to Jesus, then that’s because it’s the same way with God.

But you gotta ask: how can this be? How can Jesus make someone more important than something when that thing is God’s Word and what it says about what that someone did?

How can Jesus basically… ignore… defy… refuse to follow what God’s Word says about adultery?

It’s right there in black and white, by the way:

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Leviticus 20:10 “ ‘If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death.”

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Right there. Right there in the Word of God, Jesus. Call sin a sin. Pronounce the judgment.

Just think about this for a second. Because most of us don’t feel this way about adultery anymore. It’s bad; but you’re not calling for us as pastors to start picking up stones in the name of God. We fly over these Old Testament passages and dismiss most of them outright without even giving it a second thought.

But this was still going on in Jesus’ day. Stoning for breaking some of God’s laws was a thing. He almost got stoned a couple of times for what he was preaching. And we know from the rest of the New Testament that more than a few of his followers did get stoned for what they said and did in Jesus’ name.

So this was still a thing. And it was still a thing because—and there’s no way around it—God told them to do it.

But Jesus doesn’t.

How?

How can he do that and still maintain this:

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John 5:19 “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.”

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How can Jesus claim that he only does what God tells him to do and not do what God said to do to people caught in adultery?

Because God also said this:

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Hosea 6:6 “For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.”

Micah 6:8 “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

Micah 7:18 “Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.”

Zechariah 7:9 ““This is what the Lord Almighty said: ‘Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another.”

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God is merciful! He loves to show mercy! And he wants us, his people, to do the same!

What is mercy? What is it?

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Mercy: a withholding of punishment or judgment.

Mercy is not giving someone what they deserve for the wrong thing they’ve done.

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Listen:

Our God is a God who loves mercy. He loves not giving us what we deserve.

God loves not giving you and me what we deserve.

He loves it. He loves mercy. He loves being merciful.

And so Jesus loves mercy. It’s why he led with it instead of with a stone.

I mean, he didn’t even lead with the truth. He didn’t.

He didn’t begin his interaction with this woman by saying, “Thus saith the Lord…”

Jesus led with mercy.

Listen to me now:

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It’s ok to lead with mercy.

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It’s not going soft. It’s not people-pleasing. It’s not capitulating to culture. It’s not rewriting Scripture. It’s not any of those things.

Some of us feel like the problem with the church today is that we’ve gone soft. We’re not willing to call sin a sin. Culture continues to push further and further away from what we believe God said about marriage, or about sex, or about a number of other things. And we’re just letting it happen because we’re afraid to call them out.

Or we’ll say this:

How are they ever going to know that they need Jesus’ forgiveness unless they know what they’re doing is wrong? And how will they know what they’re doing is wrong if we aren’t willing to tell them?

We’ll get to that in a second. But if we’re following Jesus’ example, I’d still say this: it’s ok to lead with mercy.

In fact, we’d even say this:

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It’s ok to lead with mercy.

It’s biblical to lead with mercy.

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All throughout the Old and New Testament, this is what God did, and this is what God instructed his people to do, and this is what Jesus did, and this is what Jesus’ followers did.

And not only that, but also this:

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It’s ok to lead with mercy.

It’s biblical to lead with mercy.

It’s godly to lead with mercy. Because God in the flesh, Jesus himself, did.

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Now let’s go back to the story, because if this is all we’re saying, we’re gonna leave something out that we just can’t afford to. And this might address that tension that some of you are feeling.

Take a look again at the ending of the story in John 8:

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John 8:9–11 “At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

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Take a look at the conversation Jesus has with her privately. Personally. With no one else around.

He does a couple of really significant things.

First:

He calls what she did what it is: it’s a sin.

Adultery is a sin. It goes against what God said about the covenant of marriage.

Sex outside of marriage is a sin. Sex with someone other than your spouse is a sin.

Jesus doesn’t soften that. He doesn’t minimize that.

He doesn’t call it a “mistake.” He doesn’t just say “Hey, you messed up.” He calls it what it is. Sin.

But he does that…

After he shows her mercy.

And he does that…

Personally. And privately.

And gently. And lovingly.

Because someone is more important than something.

Because he’s not trying to win. Or be right. Or take a stand. Or win some sort of cultural war.

Nevertheless, he calls sin a sin. That’s first.

Second:

He tells her that he doesn’t condemn her for her sin. Meaning:

He’s not going to punish her for it—nor is he going to allow anyone else to punish her for it.

Now let’s remember what she did:

She ruined a marriage—maybe (2) marriages. And to be sure, she wasn’t the only one involved. It takes (2) people to commit adultery. For some reason, they didn’t drag the guy along with her, even though that’s what their law called for.

Nevertheless: she played a part in ruining his marriage, and if she was married, her own as well.

If either of them had kids, she messed them up.

She violated her promise to her husband. And she violated the promise she made before God.

And there’s consequences for that. There’s destruction. There’s shame. It’s a kind of death, even:

The death of her marriage. The death of her reputation. The death of the future she envisioned. The death of her immediate security. The death of her social circle. The death of her peace. She killed a lot in that one decision.

And yet, Jesus says:

I. Don’t. Condemn. You.

Why?

Because what she did wasn’t worthy of condemnation?

No; it was worthy of condemnation. It was a horrible thing she did.

Because it would have been unjust, unfair, or hypocritical of Jesus?

No; it would’ve been just. Fair. And not hypocritical at all. Quite the opposite: Jesus was the only one in the crowd that day that was without sin and could’ve cast the first stone.

So how is it that he can say, “I don’t condemn you?” I will not punish you for the sinful thing you did?

How?

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Romans 3:23–26 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished—he did it to demonstrate his righteousness at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.”

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See:

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Jesus doesn’t condemn her because Jesus is going to be condemned for her.

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Jesus doesn’t punish her because he’s going to take her punishment.

Jesus leads with mercy because he’s going to pay the price.

It’s not because what she did wasn’t a big deal. It’s because his sacrifice was bigger.

Bringing It Home

God deliberately doesn’t punish us for all the things that we do. This should be so obvious to those of us who know him.

He tells us to love our neighbor. We don’t.

He tells us to not forsake gathering together. We do.

He tells us to not love money and instead be generous. Give a tithe—a tenth of all we have back to him. And then offerings on top of that. We don’t. Be generous. We aren’t.

He tells us to forgive. We withhold.

He tells us to lead with mercy. We judge.

We do so many things every single day that are so worthy of punishment and yet…

God leaves all of these things that you and I do unpunished.

And that’s kind of him. That’s merciful of him.

But how is that just? How is that fair? How do those scales ever get balanced?

Because he places all of the punishment that was due to us on Jesus.

Before you even asked,

Before you even repented,

Before you even agreed that what you did was wrong,

Jesus paid it all.

Because God so loved us.

Here’s what happened that day with that woman who’s dirtiest, darkest secret was dragged out into the open for all to see:

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Jesus won the heart of an unrepentant sinner because he was willing to lose...

His right to condemn.

His anger at what she did.

His reputation and relationship with those calling for her judgment.

His life.

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This is what mercy is. It’s a loss. Mercy is a choice to lose.

When you lead with mercy, you decide to lose your right to condemn someone. You lose your anger over what they did. And you might even lose with some folks around you who think you’re going soft, or you’re not standing on God’s Word, or you’re not calling sin a sin, or whatever.

Leading with mercy is choosing to lose. But it’s choosing to lose on purpose, with a purpose.

You lose all of those somethings for the sake of someone.

And when you choose to lose in that way—when you pay the price of mercy—

You just might win the right to personally, gently, but clearly tell them the truth about what they’re doing.

And maybe, they’ll repent. Maybe they’ll change their mind, change their direction, and experience God change their heart.

With Jesus, sometimes winning means losing. And you’re gonna have plenty of opportunities to lose on purpose with a purpose this coming year. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to put someone over something.

Lead with mercy. Then tell the truth. And maybe God will win someone’s heart in the process.

Optional Weekend Host Direction

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James 2:12–13 “Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.”