Thanks for Nothing Part 2: Bitterness

Announcements:

Thank you all who came out for our Friendsgiving Dinner as it was a huge success. Great time of fellowshipping and meeting friends and family. It was great to have kids wandering around and having fun as well.

No Bible study until January.

Christmas party will be on Wednesday, Dec 13th at 6:30PM. More details to come as we looking into another venue possibly for the party.

Worship:

Praise

Stand in Your Love

Yes I Will

Introduction:

Today we will be continuing our series on the three mindsets that can keep us being thankful.

Last week, we talked about comparison and if you missed it, you can watch it on our facebook or youtube channel.

In the Old Testament book of Esther, we read of a young Hebrew girl who was carried away to Babylon after the destruction of Jerusalem and is raised by her uncle Mordechai.

Esther finds herself in a unique situation:

the queen (Vashti) of Babylon has been exiled;

she enters an uncomfortable national beauty contest for the king to find a new queen;

she wins the heart of the King and becomes his wife.

While this is going on, Mordecai (her uncle) becomes one of the king’s officials (which is why he is in the gate in v21), and uncovers a plot against the king, and that is where we pick up the story-

(on slide)

Esther 2:21–3:6 CSB

21 During those days while Mordecai was sitting at the King’s Gate, Bigthan and Teresh, two of the king’s eunuchs who guarded the entrance, became infuriated and planned to assassinate King Ahasuerus. 22 When Mordecai learned of the plot, he reported it to Queen Esther, and she told the king on Mordecai’s behalf. 23 When the report was investigated and verified, both men were hanged on the gallows. This event was recorded in the Historical Record in the king’s presence. 1 After all this took place, King Ahasuerus honored Haman, son of Hammedatha the Agagite. He promoted him in rank and gave him a higher position than all the other officials. 2 The entire royal staff at the King’s Gate bowed down and paid homage to Haman, because the king had commanded this to be done for him. But Mordecai would not bow down or pay homage. 3 The members of the royal staff at the King’s Gate asked Mordecai, “Why are you disobeying the king’s command?” 4 When they had warned him day after day and he still would not listen to them, they told Haman in order to see if Mordecai’s actions would be tolerated, since he had told them he was a Jew. 5 When Haman saw that Mordecai was not bowing down or paying him homage, he was filled with rage. 6 And when he learned of Mordecai’s ethnic identity, it seemed repugnant to Haman to do away with Mordecai alone. He planned to destroy all of Mordecai’s people, the Jews, throughout Ahasuerus’s kingdom.

Big idea- Today we are going to look at the second mindset that can keep us from being thankful, and that is bitterness. Bitterness is defined as anger and disappointment as a result of being treated unfairly; resentment.

This outlook on life affects you this way- Someone hurt you, therefore you will hurt others.

(on slide)

Hebrews 12:14–15 (CSB)

14 Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness—without it no one will see the Lord.

15 Make sure that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and defiling many.

We see this today in the life of Haman- a very bitter man who lashed out against anyone who slighted him.

As we begin this morning in our passage, I think we first need to ask ourselves:

Body:

I. Where did it come from? It came from an act of disobedience that occurred long before he was born. It was something that had happened to his family centuries ago that he carried around with him until this event described in the Biblical text. (This also warns us of the dangers of passing on bitterness to the next generations.)

“One man’s disobedience is another man’s bitterness.” In 1 Samuel 15, God tells King Saul to wipe out all of the Amalekites-men, women, livestock, the family dog and goldfish- every living thing belonging to the Amalekites. - Saul carries out the command, but not entirely, taking spoils for his men. Among the most sought after spoils would have been the women in the royal household of Amalek, one of whom was pregnant with Amalek’s child.

- That son, that Saul failed to destroy, was the great grandfather of Haman. - So Haman is carrying a grudge against the Hebrew people that started hundreds of years before. Haman had his reason for hating all Jews, and it was a pretty good one- Jewish people had wiped out his entire family and stolen a kingdom that would have been his eventually.

All of us can identify with that, right? Someone took something from you that was rightfully yours. Someone treated you unfairly. All of us have these kinds of hurts in our past.

With some people, the mention of a name or a situation, will cause an intense feeling of loathing, anger, or even hatred to well up inside of us.

Illustration:

Previous ministry experience: being accused of something falsely; created division and caused others to treat me and my family terribly but God worked in the situation and we have had some ask for forgiveness. We were hurt and picked up the offense and started to become bitter bc we didn’t defend ourselves and it seemed that the other people were winning but God handled it and we don’t wince when we hear certain people’s names, etc.

previous relationships (gf): bad break-up, etc.

No matter what has been done to us, though, we always have an option of how we can respond as a result. That leads us to our next point:

II. Wallowing is a choice but not the only option

Wallowing defined: To wallow is to roll about in something, as a pig wallows in mud or a billionaire wallows in money. Wallow can be used to describe a physical action or an emotional state.

I tend to think of wallowing like marinating a steak. The steak sits in the marinade and continues to soak it up and take as much of that marinade in as possible. The longer the marinading lasts, the more that is taken in and soaked up.

If you cry "Woe is me! Why does this always happen to me? Why can’t anything go right? Why can’t people treat me the right way?"etc. one too many times, you might be accused of wallowing in self-pity.

Look what Haman did towards Mordecai as a result of his bitterness:

(on slide)

Esther 3:5–6 CSB

5 When Haman saw that Mordecai was not bowing down or paying him homage, he was filled with rage. 6 And when he learned of Mordecai’s ethnic identity, it seemed repugnant to Haman to do away with Mordecai alone. He planned to destroy all of Mordecai’s people, the Jews, throughout Ahasuerus’s kingdom.

Mordecai was not showing Haman the respect he demanded from everyone else in the first place which caused Haman to be enraged and it intensified when he learned Mordecai was a Jew of all people!

We know he held onto the bitterness for at least 12 months against Mordecai:

Esther 3:7 (CSB)

7 In the first month, the month of Nisan, in King Ahasuerus’s twelfth year, the pur—that is, the lot—was cast before Haman for each day in each month, and it fell on the twelfth month, the month Adar.

Esther 5:9 CSB

9 That day Haman left full of joy and in good spirits. But when Haman saw Mordecai at the King’s Gate, and Mordecai didn’t rise or tremble in fear at his presence, Haman was filled with rage toward Mordecai.

Do you know anyone who wallows in their past hurts like that?

It has gotten really bad in our time. We have made wallowing a media and political sport in our day.

The news is famous for pitting:

This person against another

This race against another (Black people hate white people because of slavery; Jews hate Germans because of the holocaust)

This agenda against another

This religion against another (Muslims hate Christians because of the crusades and the various wars we have fought in the middle east since September 11th, 2001.)

This sports team against another

And so forth But that is what bitterness does. It’s an irrational holding onto past hurts that ends up consuming us, and we can’t view reality any other way then through this situation that has been holding us hostage. And the other people involved don’t even know it is eating you up!

I’ve said this many times, but it bears repeating- Perspective is everything.

When we chose to view situations, people, or even the reality we live in outside of how God views it, then we chose to believe a lie rather than pursue the truth in all things.

Illustration:

Years ago there was a terrible outbreak of disease in a tiny village in a remote part of Africa. Both children and adults were getting sick and overcome with nausea. Several weeks passed, and the sickness became widespread and people started dying.

Word of the disease reached the main city in that area and experts were dispatched to try to figure out what was causing the problem. They soon discovered that the water was contaminated. The village got its water supply from a mountain stream that was fed from a spring, so the experts decided to trek upstream into the mountains and hopefully find the source of the pollution.

They traveled for days and finally came to the mouth of the stream. But on the surface, they found nothing wrong. Puzzled, they decided to send some divers down to search as closely to the spring’s opening as possible.

What the divers discovered shocked the experts. A large mother pig and her baby piglets were wedged right at the opening of the spring. Evidently, they had fallen in, drowned, and somehow got stuck there. Now, all that crystal clear, pur mountain spring water was being contaminated as it flowed past the decomposing remains of those dead pigs.

In no time at all, after the divers were able to remove the dead pigs from the water, the water began to flow clean and pure once again. I ask you this- what dead pigs are lurking in your past that is affecting your present.

What hurts have been done to you that you refuse to forgive and let go of- giving it to Christ and letting Him heal you?

What mistakes have you made, which consequences have destroyed your spirit, and you wallow in despair and hopelessness?

Jesus didn’t save you just from eternal consequences of sin- He died and rose again to give you a new life, a new heart, a new spirit, and a new outlook- so you can understand the truth as He sees it. To see life through His eyes and His perspective.

Don’t be a Haman

(on slide)

Hebrews 12:14–15 (CSB)

14 Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness—without it no one will see the Lord.

15 Make sure that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and defiling many.

His bitterness was affecting others:

Esther 3:15 (CSB)

15 The couriers left, spurred on by royal command, and the law was issued in the fortress of Susa. The king and Haman sat down to drink, while the city of Susa was in confusion.

Esther 4:1 (CSB)

1 When Mordecai learned all that had occurred, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, went into the middle of the city, and cried loudly and bitterly.

Haman took great pleasure in his plans to bring Mordechai and the Jews destruction. However, his plans didn’t end well. Why? He had the wrong perspective because of his bitterness.

The king remembered that Mordecai saved his life, and wanted to honor him. He asked Haman how the king should honor a man that has done the king a great service.

Here’s Haman’s perspective, blinded by his bitter rage, ego, and pride: he thinks the king is talking about honoring him and comes up with an elaborate way for the king to honor him:

(on slide)

Esther 6:6–9 CSB

6 Haman entered, and the king asked him, “What should be done for the man the king wants to honor?” Haman thought to himself, “Who is it the king would want to honor more than me?” 7 Haman told the king, “For the man the king wants to honor: 8 Have them bring a royal garment that the king himself has worn and a horse the king himself has ridden, which has a royal crown on its head. 9 Put the garment and the horse under the charge of one of the king’s most noble officials. Have them clothe the man the king wants to honor, parade him on the horse through the city square, and call out before him, ‘This is what is done for the man the king wants to honor.’ ”

The king is sold on the idea, and tells Haman to go and do that for Mordecai.

Imagine a person consumed with bitterness and rage having to do that for someone he is bitter towards and has resentment about!

The rest of Haman’s plot to kill all the Jews falls apart, and he ends up pleading with Queen Esther to spare him, and the Bible says-

(on slide)

Esther 7:8–10 CSB

8 Just as the king returned from the palace garden to the banquet hall, Haman was falling on the couch where Esther was reclining. The king exclaimed, “Would he actually violate the queen while I am in the house?” As soon as the statement left the king’s mouth, they covered Haman’s face. 9 Harbona, one of the king’s eunuchs, said, “There is a gallows seventy-five feet tall at Haman’s house that he made for Mordecai, who gave the report that saved the king.” The king said, “Hang him on it.” 10 They hanged Haman on the gallows he had prepared for Mordecai. Then the king’s anger subsided.

I want to speak to each one of us right now- This is the end of everyone who refuses to repent of their bitterness- you will be hanged on a gallows of your own making.

(on slide)

Proverbs 26:27 CSB

27 The one who digs a pit will fall into it, and whoever rolls a stone— it will come back on him.

If you name yourself a Christian, your LORD Jesus was very deliberate in his language when he said- (on slide)

Matthew 6:14–15 CSB

14 “For if you forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well. 15 But if you don’t forgive others, your Father will not forgive your offenses.

Holding onto your hate, your anger, or your hurt only empowers the person that harmed you and give the devil free reign to mess up your soul, and your entire life. You are plunging a knife into your own heart expecting it to kill them.

You are also killing any chance of God blessing you. Bitterness is a death sentence in every way imaginable or possible (Relationally, spiritually, emotionally financially, etc.)

We are going to end today with looking at how we can get:

III. Freedom from bitterness

The root of bitterness is unforgiveness.

First, you need to learn to forgive those who hurt you.

For each trespass/debt separately:

(on slide)

Matthew 6:12 CSB

12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

Forgive us in the same way we forgive others

This is NOT something that you will be able to do on your own. This is something that you will need the Holy Spirit’s help with.

Second, you need to forgive yourself for whatever part you may have had in what has hurt you, or for your unforgiveness.

Many people hang on to bitterness because they can’t accept the forgiveness that God offers us through Christ Jesus.

Nothing satisfies bitterness except forgiveness and Haman tried too:

(on slide)

Esther 5:11–13 CSB

11 Then Haman described for them his glorious wealth and his many sons. He told them all how the king had honored him and promoted him in rank over the other officials and the royal staff. 12 “What’s more,” Haman added, “Queen Esther invited no one but me to join the king at the banquet she had prepared. I am invited again tomorrow to join her with the king. 13 Still, none of this satisfies me since I see Mordecai the Jew sitting at the King’s Gate all the time.”

Follow Mordecai’s example of how to deal with bitterness instead:

Even when Haman was promoted, he didn’t plan to avenge himself against Haman or the king.

Even though in those days acts of loyalty were rewarded immediately and generously, he didn’t receive recognition. (Delayed promotion was part of God’s plan all along to foil the attempt of the destruction of the Jews!)

Even when he found out about the edict that Haman sent out.

(on slide)

Esther 4:1 CSB

1 When Mordecai learned all that had occurred, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, went into the middle of the city, and cried loudly and bitterly.

(on slide)

Esther 4:13–14 CSB

13 Mordecai told the messenger to reply to Esther, “Don’t think that you will escape the fate of all the Jews because you are in the king’s palace. 14 If you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will come to the Jewish people from another place, but you and your father’s family will be destroyed. Who knows, perhaps you have come to your royal position for such a time as this.”

He took it to the Lord and knew the Lord would work it out using Esther or another way.

Let go of the bitterness and let God take care of the situation and the results! He will avenge and make things right!

Conclusion:

As we wrap up this morning, I want to make sure we all understand what the Lord is telling us to do.

And we have a great opportunity to put this into practice today and this week as families gather together all over to celebrate Thanksgiving! If you have bitterness towards someone or know of someone having bitterness towards you, remember:

1. Don’t allow your expectations of others open the door to bitterness in your life. (They didn’t treat me the right way, they didn’t believe me, they didn’t recognize me, etc.)

2. Don’t wallow in your bitterness no matter what caused your bitterness. (You will know if you can’t even hear the person’s name without cringing or getting upset. And don’t complain when others are succeeding while you seem to be forgotten as God is in control!)

3. Let go of bitterness by forgiving the other person and taking responsibility for what you contributed to the situation. (Be specific for each thing you need to ask for forgiveness)

Ephesians 4:31–32 CSB

31 Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. 32 And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.

Don’t let bitterness steal your joy and thankfulness this holiday season! Replace bitterness with forgiveness!

Altar Call- pray for everyone.

If you are dealing with bitterness this morning and would like special prayer, I would encourage you to come forward.