Surpassing Righteousness in Divorce

Matthew 5:31–32 NIV

31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Context

Jesus further intensifies the application of the Law by addressing a natural follow-up to adultery – divorce.

This text is sparse in detail because Matthew will later flesh out Jesus argument in chapter 19. So today, we’re going to use the more thorough text as our basis before returning to the Sermon on the Mount to set Jesus view of divorce in this context.

[[SLIDE]] Jesus and the Pharisees

Matthew 19:1–12 NIV

1 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. 3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” 10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

The Pharisees’ Trap

Matthew 19:3 NIV

3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

There was a controversy between two schools of Law interpretation at the time

School 1: Divorce only allowed in case of adultery

School 2: Divorce for “any and every cause” including burning food and other women being more attractive.

The controversy revolved around Deut 24:1-4

Deuteronomy 24:1–4 NIV

1 If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, 2 and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, 3 and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, 4 then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.

One emphasized the vagueness of something while the other emphasized the clarity of indecency

The pharisees are asking Jesus to weigh in on a politically fraught controversy

Jesus responds by making two observations about the Law on Divorce

[[SLIDE]] Marriage was intended to be permanent

Matthew 19:4–6 NIV

4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Just like in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus digs into the foundational principles of the law

A tension between Genesis and Deuteronomy

Before sin entered the world marriage was a divinely ordained, permanent partnership between a man and a woman.

This expresses the “should be” of marriage

[[SLIDE]] 3 clarifications

Matthew 19:7–9 NIV

7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

The pharisees asked a reasonable follow-up questions, “Why is Deut 24:1-4 in the Law then?

[[SLIDE]] Permission and command are distinguished

[[SLIDE]] That permission is a result of the hardness of human hearts

This is a common approach in the Law, regulation rather than prohibition (cf. polygamy/slavery)

[[SLIDE]] Uncleanness was adultery

He identifies Deuteronomy’s uncleanness with adultery

Conclusion of Jesus Case

Because of the hardness of our hearts God allows but does not require divorce in the case of adultery.

[[SLIDE]] Dealing with Complications

Biblical Tensions

Complete Prohibitions

Mark 10:10–12 NIV

10 When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11 He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”

Additional Exception for Abandonment

1 Corinthians 7:12–16 NIV

12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Reconciling the Tensions

Jesus uses hyperbole without deceit or dishonesty in his teaching (“cut off your hand”)

In Mark we see the ideal. In Matthew and 1 Cor we see permitted reality.

In all of the exceptions, we see that there are circumstances where a marriage covenant has been already broken and the divorce is a protective and freeing grant to the sinned against party.

The sinned against party may choose to forgo the divorce in such situations, but because of sin of the one who has broken the covenant, he or she is not obligated to do so.

Other Challenges

Could this be divorce without remarriage?

Deuteronomy 24 argues against this because it explicitly details how to respond to a second marriage. Implied in divorce is the possibility of remarriage.

Are there other exceptions?

Since Jesus makes no exceptions and only one exception while Paul provides another (exclusive) exception, I would argue that other exceptions may exist.

What might constitute an exception?

Fundamental violation of the marriage covenant (like adultery and abandonment)

Abuse

Forced abandonment

Abuse

Expulsion from the home

Incarceration for a serious crime

Conclusion: Back To Surpassing Righteousness

There is a risk in this discussion of doing exactly what Jesus was condemning in Mt. 5 – parsing out the law to create the possibility of external righteousness without a righteous heart

So what is the heart of Jesus message?

[[SLIDE]] To the legitimately and involuntarily divorced, rest in Jesus!

That was not what God intended, but that does not mean it is your fault

It is deeply grievous that the beautiful picture of unity and love in marriage, which should point us to our creator’s goodness was instead tainted by the corruption of the fall

There is both the possibility of joy in singleness and I believe legitimate opportunity to remarry.

Rest in the truth that though God intends marriage to communicate his love for you, he does not share the sinful weakness of your ex. He will never leave you nor forsake you.

[[SLIDE]] To the illegitimately divorced, repent and turn to Jesus!

Time does not heal all wounds, if you have not dealt with your sin with God do so today. Be willing to call sin what it is.

Repentance includes willingness to endure the consequences of sin, if your divorce was illegitimate do not add on to your sin with further sin by pursuing an illegitimate remarriage.

Reconciliation though not always possible is honorable.

If you have repented, rest in the forgiveness of Jesus.

Righteousness which surpasses the pharisees is our pursuit, but it’s Jesus accomplishment.

You have not rendered yourself useless and unlovable

Jesus condemns adultery, but God’s plan has a special and exalted place for Abraham, Rahab, and David.

Jesus condemns murder, but has a special and exalted place for David and Paul.

Rejoice that Jesus loves the sinful and the broken.

[[SLIDE]] To the illegitimately divorced but now remarried, be faithful!

If you have repented, be faithful to the spouse you now have. Violating the covenant of your second marriage will not undo the sin of your divorce.

[[SLIDE]] To the married, endure!

This includes those who are remarried after whatever kind of divorce

Divorce is not a solution to discontent

Divorce is not a solution to conflict

“How did your marriage last 70 years?”

If divorce is not an option in conflict resolution conflicts are much more likely to be resolved

Endurance in marriage is a commitment to fulfilling God’s creation design for mankind and glorifies him.