Nannie's Eulogy - From Anxiety to Joy

Introduction

In February 1992 Kim and I sat rather nervously at the dining room table at 120 Midwood Street, Brooklyn, NY, where I lived. Also sitting at the table were Irwyn and Margaret Ince, my parents, and Jim and Joanne Shepard-El, Kim’s parents. We were nervous because we were expecting. I had yet to graduate from college, and we had yet to be married. The parents were coming together to get to formally know one another and discuss plans for our wedding. I don’t remember a whole lot from that table discussion, but I do remember that Kim and I weren’t asked our opinion on much of anything.

For me, the anxiety kind of broke when, toward the end Kim’s mom asked the grandparents-to-be what grandparent name each one wanted to be known by. And she was ready with her answer. Nannie. From that point until this one, that is the primary name I’ve known her by. So, you’ll indulge me if that is the name I choose to use in this message for our beloved one who is now with the Lord.

Here is the point of what I want to say to you this morning. Our grief is great, but God’s grace is greater. We have tears, but Nannie knows the fulness of God’s joy because she is experiencing him rejoicing over her with gladness. Any anxiety she knew in her heart has now been quieted by God’s love.

Let’s look at the texts, and then we’ll pray…

Zephaniah 3:14–17 ESV

14 Sing aloud, O daughter of Zion; shout, O Israel! Rejoice and exult with all your heart, O daughter of Jerusalem! 15 The Lord has taken away the judgments against you; he has cleared away your enemies. The King of Israel, the Lord, is in your midst; you shall never again fear evil. 16 On that day it shall be said to Jerusalem: “Fear not, O Zion; let not your hands grow weak. 17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

1 Thessalonians 4:13–14 ESV

13 But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. 14 For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.

O Lord our God, through the preaching of your Word, do the work of grace in our hearts as we grieve. Help us, Lord Jesus to experience the power of your dying love, for your blood is balm, your presence bliss, your smile heaven, your cross the place where truth and mercy meet. Stay with your people, and may your presence be our portion today. Amen.

Anxiety

You do not have to live long in this world to experience the truth that the cares of this life can make us anxious. In fact, very often our anxieties are tied to our loves. I’m grateful for the advancements in technology. You know, people get concerned because they say, the government has too much knowledge our movements. With satellites in the sky and GPS on our phones and cameras everywhere, we don’t have anymore privacy. But I, for one, am grateful for this technology on my phone called “Find My.” I can do a check at any point when I want to know where my children are. Why am I grateful? Because my heart is settled when I know they’re safe. Your loves and your anxieties are often tied together.

Nannie blessed us by writing her obituary ahead of time. What a gift. The blessing that she gave to Kim and Kelli, knowing all of the details they would have to take care of when she passed, she took this off of their shoulders. They just had to fill in the dates. Not only that, she wrote out reflections of her life, including in it the things she enjoyed doing; like jumble and search-a-word puzzles and making her ambrosia salad (which I always looked forward to at Thanksgiving). She reflected on how she meticulously kept a calendar to send greeting cards to family and friends for special occasions. If you were a family member or a friend, you can testify this morning that she never missed a birthday or anniversary or significant date that she knew of in your life. She was extremely generous in that way. She would spend freely on others (I’m going to talk more about that in a second).

Nannie reflected on how knowing Jesus Christ’s unconditional, steadfast love for us moved her to a posture of non-judgmental, unconditional love for others. She talked abut her love for her sorority, her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

But one joy and love that I wish she would’ve given more ink to was her love for The Ohio State University Buckeyes. She mentions Ohio State, but only in this one sentence, “She enjoyed watching sports, especially The Ohio State University Buckeyes football and basketball teams.” Can I tell y’all something. That is an understatement. I wish I could talk to her again and say, “Nannie, could you revise that a little bit? Could you talk a little bit about how your love for the Buckeyes and your generosity to your family merged in a practical way? Could you talk a little bit more about your annual experience of anxiety around The Game?...”

Let me share with you Nannie’s annual practice with us as our children were growing up. I want to say that this practice lasted close to ten years. It didn’t end until our oldest, Jelani, went off to college at Wake Forest. Nannie would travel down from Brooklyn to Maryland on Labor Day weekend. It was always a good time, and she never came empty-handed. She always had The Ohio State University catalog with her. Before she went home she would say, “Go through the catalogue and circle what you want for Christmas.” That’s right. For many years we would know what we would be in the box under the Christmas tree at Hendrix Street in Brooklyn. She set the bounds and gave us liberty within the bounds. You can have anything you want…from this Ohio State University catalogue. For years, we all were walking around with Ohio State gear. Once Jelani went to Wake Forest, we were like, “Mom, our money is going to Wake. We gotta put an end to this Ohio State gear thing.” Her generosity and love combined in practice.

Not only that, this week is the week for The Game—The Ohio State Buckeyes vs. The Michigan Wolverines. You talk about anxiety inducing. I don’t remember when she started this practice or when she ended it. But there was a period of time when she could not watch the game live. It was too much to bear. She had to record it, find out what the final score was, then go back and watch. The anxiety was too much to endure the ups and the downs of the live action.

Nannie isn’t unusual. She’s just like us. We’re just like her. The things that we love most dearly also can become the source of our greatest anxiety. That’s because we cannot bear the thought of losing what we love. Our anxiety is connected to fear. Whether it’s the loss of a game or the loss of a life, we’re afraid of losing what we love. That’s why what the Lord says through the prophet Zephaniah in 3.14-17 is a balm for our souls.

This word from the Lord through Zephaniah was delivered during a time of great loss and disaster for Israel. This loss and disaster has come upon them because of their sin and rebellion against the Lord. They’ve turned from the Lord to worship Baal and Milcom, idols. And in the middle of this disaster and loss do you hear the prophet’s exhortation? “Sing aloud, O daughter of Zion; Shout, O Israel! Rejoice and exult with all your heart, O daughter of Jerusalem” (Zeph 3.14)! “Fear not, O Zion; let not your hands grow weak” (Zeph 3.16)! When do our hands literally become weak? When there’s fear and anxiety.

God says to his fearful people, Do not be afraid. Instead, Sing loudly. Shout! Rejoice with all of you heart! Why? It’s not because there’s nothing to be anxious about. It’s not because there’s nothing to be afraid of! It’s not because we no longer suffer loss. It’s not because death isn’t real! It’s not because sickness and disease is no longer going to wreck your body. It’s not because loving and devoted daughters like Kelli are no longer going to have to visit their mothers in the hospital and rehabilitation center everyday for two months and watch as her suffering increases and she declines into such a non-responsive state that death becomes a mercy. None of that is why the Lord says sing and shout and rejoice.

Sing and shout and rejoice because, v. 15, “The King of Israel, the Lord, is in your midst; you shall never again fear evil!” Evil is still going to be around, but you will no longer fear it because your King is in your midst. Make no mistake about it. For the people of Israel in Zephaniah’s day, this was a forward looking promise. They were to look forward to a day when the Lord God, the King, would be in their midst because every possible judgement due to their sin and rebellion that could be heaped upon them had been set aside, and their enemies had to turn tail and run.

Israel had to look forward to that day. But for us, that day has come. For Nannie, that day came 2,000 years ago when Jesus Christ showed up in a manger in Bethlehem. When he declared, Luke 4.18-19

Luke 4:18–19 ESV

18 “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, 19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

When he declared, “Repent for the Kingdom of God has come upon you.”

That day for Nannie and for us came when Jesus took every possible judgment of sin against us in his body on the cross and let it kill him. That day came when, on the third day we found out that death could not hold him, and he got up out of the grave and declared that all power in heaven and on earth has be given to me. Our King has come, so we can sing and shout and rejoice with all of our hearts because even our anxieties over loss has been conquered by our King.

Joy

This is how the apostle Paul can say to the Thessalonians, “Brothers and sisters, we don’t want you to be ignorant about those who have died in Christ. We grieve, but we do not grieve as those who have no hope.”

When the apostle Paul says in v.13 of this text, “we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about those who are asleep,” what he wants to do is give the Thessalonians the understanding to cope with the recent deaths of some of their brothers and sisters in Christ. The issue at hand was that these Christians were not coping well with the loss of their loved ones. You see, we all end up trying to cope with death in some way because you can’t avoid its reality. Why does Paul say to the Thessalonians that they should not grieve as those who have no hope? Understand that the hope he is talking about is not flights of fancy or wishful thinking. It is the certain assurance that the physical death of their loved ones was not the end of the story. There was yet something more and better to come. The answer he gives them is this, “Since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.”

Through faith in Jesus Christ we serve a God who did not remain outside of our suffering, but who personally entered into our suffering. It was Jesus who, in the Garden of Gethsemane said, “My soul is overwhelmed with grief to the point of death.” It was Jesus who felt the searing pain of the Roman scourging on his back, the nails in his hands and feet, the crown of thorns on his head. And through his crucifixion and resurrection conquered death, hell, and the grave. Jesus looked death straight in the eye and said, “you will have no power over those who follow me.” The reality of our hope is that though Nannie’s body lie dead in that casket, her life is not over. She is more alive now than she ever was because she has passed to her eternal rest before the very presence of the Lord.

And she is experiencing the unimaginable joy of Zephaniah 3:17

Zephaniah 3:17 ESV

17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

The Lord God himself is singing over her. Can you picture it in your mind’s eye? Nannie selected the songs we sang in this service. She wanted Nabil and Zakiya and Kokayi, her grandchildren to play the music and play the songs because she loved hearing her grandchildren play music and sing. She would pull out her phone and start recording, asking them to play song after song. It gave her so much joy. Can you imagine the depths of joy she knows right now when it is the Lord God signing over her?

Let me say this to you all. This service isn’t for Nannie. It’s for us. She’s ok. In fact, she’s better than ok. She’s better than she has ever been. She’s not missing us, we’re missing her. She is before her Savior face to face. This service is for us because we are the ones who need to be reminded that Jesus Christ is the one who takes away the sting of death. We are the ones who need to be reminded that because Jesus Christ rose from the dead, everyone who is in him will also rise. Or as is written in 1 Corinthians 15:53-57 ,

1 Corinthians 15:53–57 ESV

53 For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. 54 When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.” 55 “O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” 56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

We were not meant to stay here.

We are the ones who are invited by God to move from anxiety to joy through faith in Jesus, just like Nannie has done.

Closing Prayer

Almighty and most merciful God, our heavenly Father, you are the consolation of the sorrowful and the supporter of the stricken.

In the multitude of Your tender mercies, be pleased to uphold and comfort us in the our trial and distress. Grant us all grace that we may lay to heart the promise of your sweet care. Enable us to live by faith in the Son of God, that when Christ, who is our life, shall appear, we also may appear with Him in glory.

O Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world, to whom shall we go but to You? You have the words of eternal life. You who were a Man of Sorrows and acquainted with grief, have pity on us as we cry to You. You who have saved us, do not forsake us not in the trying hour; You who has vanquished death, give us the victory, and bring us to Your own everlasting rest in the assembly of Your saints on high.

O God, the Holy Spirit, author of light and life and truth, inspire our souls with hope through the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ, imparting the benefits of His atonement, and the power of His all-sufficient grace. Fill us with the fruits of Your own indwelling, and form us anew in the image of God. Help us now, O blessed Comforter; heal our wounded spirits and do not despise our broken and contrite hearts.

O Triune God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, have mercy upon us, Your servants, as we wait before You: and hear our prayer.

Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one: For Yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.