Solo Dolo

Main Idea

Married couples and singles should aim to live in ways pleasing to God and work for his kingdom, yet singles have a special opportunity to serve God and avoid many earthly difficulties.

Introduction- Removing the stigma of singleness

Solo Dolo

can mean doing something alone. In some cases implying enjoyment or confidence in solitude i.e. you’re sufficiently self-assured that you don’t have to rely on others to do something out in the world and apparently, being chilled about it.

Phrase that came out in the 90’s and the hip-hop artist Kid Cudi made famous in 2009 with his song: Solo Dolo (Nightmare)

Living a happy single life, with Geoff MacDonald, PhD

American Psychological Association Podcast, Episode 215

A 2019 Pew Research Center poll found that 3 in 10 US adults are single. They’re not married, living with a partner or in a committed relationship. Among those singles, half said they were not interested in dating or looking for a relationship.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, about 50% of American adults are unmarried, or close to 127 million people.

Some have never been married

Some are divorced

Some are widowed

They’re older or younger

Some are parents

Others have no children

“Everybody is single before they get in their first relationship.”

Theses are different phases of most peoples lives

Not every single person is miserable and certainly not everybody in a relationship is ecstatic with their life.

“People who have never been in a romantic relationship tend to be happier singles than people who have been”

“People who are doing well in single-hood are sort of the people who are good at life in general.”

Higher in Attachment Security- comfortable making close relationships with people & who are not really worried so much about getting rejected.

The best idea is to get right with yourself first and go towards a romantic relationship when you’ve done whatever that work is

9 Ways Being Single Can Improve Your Life

Candice Lalili

Your mind is uncluttered

You’re more open to whatever life throws your way

You have time to get in the touch with yourself

You have a chance to figure out what you want out of life

It can be the best-case scenario

It’s a chance to become financially responsible

You can make self-care a priority

You learn to enjoy your own company

Your confidence level can skyrocket

“The Unrecognized Stereotyping and Discrimination Against Singles” by B. M. DePaulo & W. I. Morris

Widespread form of bias has slipped under the cultural and academic radar. People who are single are targets of singlism: negative stereotypes and discrimination. Compared to married or couples people, who are often described in very positive terms, singles are assumed to be immature, maladjusted, and self-centered.

“What the Fear of Being Single Can Make Some People Do”

November 7, 2023

Psychology Today

An intense fear of being single can lead to unhealthy behaviors, like lowering one’s relationship standards, remaining in abusive relationships, engaging in risky dating behaviors such as pining for exes and engaging in breakup sex.

Transition To Body- The Church in Corinth & Singleness

1 Corinthians 2:9–16 ESV

9 But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”— 10 these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. 11 For who knows a person’s thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12 Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God. 13 And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual. 14 The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned. 15 The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one. 16 “For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ.

1 Corinthians 6:19 ESV

19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,

1 Corinthians 7:1 ESV

1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”

Body

Spiritual Singles Experience Less Distress (7:25-28)

1 Corinthians 7:25–28 ESV

25 Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.

Spiritual Singles Encounter Fewer Distractions (7:29-31)

1 Corinthians 7:29–31 ESV

29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.

Spiritual Singles Enjoy Greater Devotion (7:32-35)

1 Corinthians 7:32–35 ESV

32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

Spiritual Singles Exercise a Better Decision (7:36-40)

1 Corinthians 7:36–40 ESV

36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. 37 But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. 38 So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better. 39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

Transition To Close

1 Corinthians 7:40 ESV

40 Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

John 14:26 ESV

26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.

Acts 1:8 ESV

8 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”

Romans 8:26–30 ESV

26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

Galatians 5:22–25 ESV

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.

Close- Your Salvation Cost A Lot

Isaiah 11:1–3 ESV

1 There shall come forth a shoot from the stump of Jesse, and a branch from his roots shall bear fruit. 2 And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord. 3 And his delight shall be in the fear of the Lord. He shall not judge by what his eyes see, or decide disputes by what his ears hear,

Luke 4:18–19 ESV

18 “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, 19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

Matthew 3:16–17 ESV

16 And when Jesus was baptized, immediately he went up from the water, and behold, the heavens were opened to him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and coming to rest on him; 17 and behold, a voice from heaven said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.”

Matthew 25:21 ESV

21 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’