Philemon: An Appeal For Reconciliation (part 2)

Review

Turn to Philemon.

Today we are going to continue our series through the letter to Philemon. In the previous message, we listened as Paul began to make his appeal to Philemon.

Paul chose to make an appeal instead of a demand - Philemon 8-10.

A gracious, humble appeal is often much more powerful than an accusation or a demand.

Paul made an appeal that acknowledged the past - Philemon 11.

Philemon’s hurt needed to be acknowledged, not avoided. Only then could reconciliation be possible.

Paul made an appeal because of a change of mind - Philemon 11.

Onesimus was a new creature in Christ. He had experienced a change of mind. Now there was hope for reconciliation.

Paul made an appeal to do right - Philemon 12.

It was an appeal to see Onesimus as if he were Paul. It was an appeal to go beyond what culture demanded and to be obedient to Christ.

Message

Paul’s appeal to Philemon continues in this letter, so follow along as I read beginning in verse thirteen.

Read Philemon 13-25.

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An appeal in Philemon’s best interest - Philemon 13-14.

When something is in your best interest, it means that it is for your own good.

We just made it through Black Friday, the biggest sales event of the year on the American retail calendar. Tomorrow is Cyber Monday, the online continuation of Black Friday.

Advertisers have been bombarding us with ads telling us that their product is in our best interest. Buying their product is for our own good. It is in our best interest (we’re told) if we part ways with our money and get their product instead.

Whether or not those products are in our best interest is debatable. We should view those ads with some skepticism.

In contrast, I can tell you with certainty that Paul’s appeal to Philemon truly was in Philemon’s best interest.

Paul expresses here that he wanted to keep Onesimus with him. Onesimus was a huge blessing. He was helping Paul in every way that he possibly could, but for Philemon’s sake, Onesimus needed to return to his master.

This appeal was made in Philemon’s best interest. If Paul kept Onesimus, it would be as though Philemon were ministering and helping Paul, but Paul did not want to force that on Philemon. So in Philemon’s best interest, he was sending Onesimus home.

Application: Forgiveness and reconciliation was in Philemon’s best interest and as a general rule of life, that is true of you also. Sometimes reconciliation may not be possible, but forgiveness always is. Forgiveness is always in your best interest. When the offended person offers forgiveness, it frees their conscience in the matter and it fulfills their responsibility in the relationship. That’s the appeal Paul is making. “Philemon, for your own good, receive Onesimus back.”

If you’re the one making an appeal to someone, identify the ways that forgiveness and reconciliation is for their good. Anyone involved in the process of reconciliation must see that peace with God and peace with your fellow man is always better than conflict.

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An appeal for eternal perspective - Philemon 15.

When Paul was writing to the church at Corinth, he challenged them to always keep their focus on eternity. He tells them in 2 Corinthians 4:18...

2 Corinthians 4:18 KJV 1900

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

That’s the same appeal that Paul is making here, only he is doing it in the context of reconciliation.

Read Philemon 15.

Onesimus should never have run away, but God wanted to use that bad decision for good. He ran from Philemon and caused Philemon a temporary loss, but God wanted to turn that offence into a lasting reward and benefit for Philemon. Paul was asking Philemon to have an eternal perspective.

“Philemon, think of what God could do through this! Yes, Onesimus ran away for a time, but God had a bigger purpose in it. If you welcome him back, he will be loyal to you forever.”

Application: When you have a hurt relationship, guard yourself against tunnel vision. It’s easy for the offence to consume your thinking and cloud your judgment. It might seem to you that no good can come from that situation, but God sees more than you do. He sees what He is doing in your life and in theirs and He wants to use that hurt for good, but you must patiently maintain an eternal perspective through it all. That’s walking by faith, not by sight.

Thirdly, Paul’s appeal was...

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An appeal for a new relationship - Philemon 16.

Read Philemon 15-16.

I may have said this before, but think with me about what would have happened if Onesimus did not run away. He never would have met Paul. It’s possible that he never would have been saved. He would have lived and died as a slave and he would have been forgotten.

But because Onesimus ran away, trusted Christ, and was coming back to Philemon, the door was open to a whole new relationship, far better than the master/slave relationship that they once had. Now they could be brothers, if Philemon allowed it.

A relationship that can survive the fires of testing is a relationship that will be stronger in the end than at the beginning.

Why do soldiers on the frontlines of combat grow so close that they are sometimes called brothers in arms? It’s because those relationships are strengthened as they fight a common enemy and survive on the battlefield.

That was the appeal being made here. “Philemon,” Paul is saying, “look at the potential of what could develop here! Your relationship with Onesimus has been tested by his disloyalty. Roman law even gives you the option of putting him to death. But if you forgive Onesimus and you are reconciled back together, he will be like a brother to you!”

Application: Listen to me: you will never develop deep, lasting relationships if you cannot endure testing in those relationships. How do some couples make it 50 years in marriage? It’s not because of luck. It’s not because they are perfectly compatible. It’s because they learned to forgive when they hurt each other.

No one likes the pain of being hurt by someone they love and trust. In my opinion, it’s one of the deepest wounds that can happen in life. But you know what some people do after they’ve been hurt?

They cut the offender out of their lives and insulate themselves from experiencing that pain ever again. It’s escapism, and its perfectly natural for our flesh to do that. It’s also very selfish.

They may even build walls and insulate themselves from any deep relationships in life at all. Have you ever met someone it seems like you just can’t get close to them no matter how hard you try? There’s a good possibility that they got hurt in the past and they just don’t want to be close to anyone.

Folks, that’s not the mind of Christ that Christians are called to have. What Paul was asking Philemon to do here was the mind of Christ. Far from cutting Onesimus out of his life, Paul was asking him to receive him as a brother.

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An appeal despite the cost - Philemon 17-19.

I once heard a story about a man who was coming home from work one day when he stopped by the store to get some grocery items that his wife needed. He quickly ran into the store, grabbed what he needed, and went through the checkout line. After he got home, he went and looked at the receipt and realized that one of the items he bought was not on the receipt. Turns out the cashier had never scanned the item. It was only a small purchase. Maybe a $1.50, but there was only one thing that man could do to satisfy his conscience. He had to drive back to the store and explain the situation to an employee so he could pay for the item. That’s exactly what he did. He drove back to the store and took that extra gas, extra time, and extra embarrassment to do the right thing despite the cost to himself.

That is similar to what we find Paul doing in these verse. He was determined to pay what was necessary to restore what Onesimus had stolen. It wasn’t even his debt, but Paul wanted to make it right. So he makes this appeal, but he asks Philemon to welcome Onesimus back as if he were Paul himself.

To reinforce his commitment, Paul wrote this part of the letter with his own hand.

Now, Philemon owed something to Paul also. We don’t know what exactly Paul might be referring to here, but it’s possible that Philemon somehow heard the gospel and was saved through Paul’s ministry.

Application: what price are you willing to pay so that you or others are reconciled back together?

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An appeal that was hopeful - Philemon 20-25.

This appeal was hopeful in several ways.

For one thing, Paul was hopeful about their future fellowship - verse 20.

Paul didn’t want Philemon to live in the past with a chip on his shoulder. He was saying,

“Philemon, let’s move forward for the cause of Christ! There’s much to do! There’s more souls to point to Christ! There’s more people we need to love! Let’s join together as brothers with Onesimus and let’s serve our Savior together!

This wasn’t the end! This wasn’t how Philemon and Onesimus needed to see each other for the rest of their lives. This didn’t need to be a stain on the testimony of either of them! They could be reconciled and have the joy of serving God together!

Paul was hopeful about Philemon’s decision to do right - verse 21.

I fear that sometimes we content ourselves with doing the bare minimum of the Christian life. We follow Christ in obedience, but only doing what we absolutely have to do. Philemon did not have that mindset. Paul believed that Philemon would not only do the right thing, he would even go above and beyond in restoring his relationship with Onesimus. Philemon would bend over backwards to be reconciled with his new brother in Christ.

Application: Christian, that is the mind of Christ! That is the mindset we must practice and live toward others.

Conclusion:

Child of God, how serious are you about being righteous in your relationships with others? From beginning to end, we’ve looked at Paul’s letter from many different angles. My prayer is that you’ve learned something along the way about how to restore the broken relationships in your life.