Be A Kingsmen

INTRODUCTION

Scary Statistics

Here are some statistics to sober us up this evening.

25% of Americans are practicing Christians (1/2 what it was in 2000

36% fewer Americans attended church in 2020 than 1993

Listen to these statistics about the family.

1/4 of children live without a male in the home (bio, step, adoptive father)

62% of Americans favor same-sex marriage

40% of US Gen Z identify as LGBTQ

30% of Gen Z Christians Identify as LGBTQ

Approximately 64M Abortions since Roe V. Wade (approx 890K/yr down from peak at 1.6M/yr)

Overall divorce rates are falling on an annual basis; but 40-50% of marriages end in divorce

1 in 5 kids are living with a single mom

43% of boys are raised by single mothers

78% of teachers are female

So almost 50% of boys have 100%feminine influence while at home & an 8/10ish chance of 100% influence at school.

Fatherlessness Statistics

Fatherlessness is an epidemic. It’s been called “the curse of our day.”[21]

Forty percent of American children will sleep in homes in which their fathers do not live.

According to Pew Research, the US is at the top. We have the highest rate of children living in single-parent households.

David Blankenhorn - Fatherless America 1995

“Fatherlessness is the most harmful demographic trend of this generation. It is the leading cause of declining child well-being in our society. It is also the engine driving our most urgent social problems, from crime to adolescent pregnancy to child sexual abuse to domestic violence against women. Yet, despite its scale and social consequences, fatherlessness is a problem that is frequently ignored or denied.”

A plethora of studies have confirmed Blankenhorn’s thesis.

The #1 common factor for dysfunctional behavior, psychological problems, and criminal behavior is kids without fathers.

Fatherless children suffer more emotional, financial, and educational problems than their peers.

Children without fathers are four times more likely to live in poverty, more likely to suffer emotional and behavioral problems, higher levels of aggressive behavior, two times the risk of infant mortality, more likely to go to prison, twice as likely to be involved in early sexual activity.

Fatherlessness is the number one cause of poverty in America.

Fatherless males represent seventy percent of the prison population serving long-term sentences.

In fact, ninety-five percent of all death row inmates hate their dads and not one of them had a genuine relationship with their father.

Seventy-one percent of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.

Sixty-three percent of all teen suicides occur in homes where the father was either absent or abusive.

Middle school kids who do not have a father have a four times greater probability of having an affective disorder.

On the other hand, when fathers are present there is

a decrease in delinquency, criminality,

higher self-esteem, lower psychological issues,

more positive attitudes about school,

fewer non-marital pregnancies,

higher educational attainment, higher income, and better life satisfaction.

Simply having a father present solves many issues, but the goal is grander. Fathers should be present with intention.

On average, fathers in America only give each of their children a mere three minutes of undivided attention each day.

Partly due to the epidemic of fatherlessness, men have not been trained to be men by their fathers.

We Need Kingsmen

We are living in the middle of an absolute crisis in our culture. A crisis of manhood. A crisis of fatherlessness.

In a world where gender is attacked in every outlet imaginable and the very idea of manhood is being rewritten, we need biblical men to rise to the occasion.

We need

Men of courage who they are as formed and called by their Creator.

Men of conviction who stand firm in their faith in the midst of persecution because of this knowledge.

Men of sacrifice who lead, love, provide, and protect those in their care.

Men who set an example for the next generation.

We need Kingsmen, and tonight is about mobilizing Broadview Baptist Church to raise up that kind of man.

Mission & Vision

Kingsmen is a ministry framework for churches that desire to raise up biblical men within their church. It’s a resource or tool for the shepherding of Christian men.

It’s also a network. of like-minded churches who share a common philosophy of ministry and theology of manhood.

So we are grateful for this ministry and plan to use it as a tool to mobilize our men to flourish in their calling..

HERE’S THE VISION OF KINGSMEN: "Broadview Kingsmen exists to empower Broadview men to thrive in their God-ordained role.

Godly men are foundational to what God wants to accomplish in our culture, in our churches and in our home.

Godly men have, are and will continue to be who God uses to stand on the front lines and bring about cultural change.

It is Godly men who are called to lead, to love, to provide and to protect.

Which is the mission of Kingsmen: “Helping local churches forge biblical men who confidently lead, love, provide and protect all those entrusted to their care by our king.”

As the apostle Paul stated to the men in Corinth.

1 Corinthians 16:13–14 ESV

13 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 14 Let all that you do be done in love.

Why We Need Something?

Some might ask the question, “Why do we need something special just for men?

Why isn’t the worship gathering and small group sufficient to bring about discipleship?”

At one level, we want something special for men because larger gatherings like this outside of small groups make it easier for guys to build friendships and make connections that that’s valuable for our church.

But we also want to emphasize the discipling of men for a few other reasons.

Kingsmen summarizes these two basic ideas under six banners.

Culture hates biblical men but they are culture’s only hope.

Men need a posse. Left to their own, they self-destruct.

From beginning to end the Bible teaches male headship.

Men are called to take dominion for the Kingdom of Christ.

Men have to become whereas women naturally are.

The church is called to raise this kind of man but struggles to do so.

We could spend all night talking about each one of these statements. Most of them are obviously and self-evident.

Over the next 12 months we will dive deeper into some of these concepts and how they’re addressed in Scripture.

But for tonight I want to address just two and then give you a game plan for how our church is going to address them in 2024.

ISOLATION & COMMUNITY

The first is that “Men need a posse. Left to their own, they self-destruct.”

I think all of us can probably think of guys who HAD a posse and they still self-destructed.

It’s not that having other men around you automagically transforms you into a virtuous man.

It’s that becoming a godly man never happens in isolation.

True growth in godliness requires encouragement, accountability and support.

Throughout the New Testament God’s people are called to place themselves in community with other brothers and sisters in Christ to flourish in Christ-likeness.

Here are a few examples on the relationship between encouragement, support and Christian community.

Hebrews 10:24–25 CSB

24 And let us consider one another in order to provoke love and good works, 25 not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 CSB

11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.

How can we fulfill these commands in the New Testament if we’re not intentionally placing ourselves in relationship with other Christian men?

In the book of Galatians Paul talks about the concept of mutual accountability in the context of a Christian community as the fulfillment of the Law of Christ!

Galatians 6:1–2 CSB

1 Brothers and sisters, if someone is overtaken in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual, restore such a person with a gentle spirit, watching out for yourselves so that you also won’t be tempted. 2 Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

And James the brother of Jesus talks about the relationship between confessing sin and experiencing healing in our life. James 5:16

James 5:16 CSB

16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is very powerful in its effect.

We also see warnings throughout the Scripture of isolation and loneliness.

Solomon warned

Proverbs 18:1 CSB

1 One who isolates himself pursues selfish desires; he rebels against all sound wisdom.

And later in the book of Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 CSB

9 Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. 10 For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.

If you think back to the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15 it was when he left his Father’s House and isolated himself that he self-destructed to a point of eating slop from the pig pen.

Resist the Urge to Isolate

There’s a natural inclination that men have to isolate themselves. Even more so do we feel this urge when we’re walking in some kind of sin or struggle.

I’ve never met any guy who LIKES to talk about his weaknesses or failures.

Have you?

Of course not. It goes against everything in us.

Why is that?

It’s actually part of our glory as men because in God’s original design we are the ones entrusted with leadership and setting the example and protecting those under our care.

If there are things in our life that undermine that calling or ways in which we’ve just flat out failed to do those things - we’d rather sweep it under the rug or keep it in the dark.

But do you know what else happens in the dark? SIN THRIVES in the dark.

You can’t see what you need to see when you’re in the dark.

More than that - just because it’s in the dark doesn’t mean it’s not having a negative impact on the people that you love.

We might hide the ungodly choices that we’ve made but we can’t hide from the external consequences they create in our life.

In men, Isolation leads to Desolation. Desolate = empty and completely destroyed.

Bring It Into the Light

We’ve got to bring it into the light.

1 John 1:6–7 CSB

6 If we say, “We have fellowship with him,” and yet we walk in darkness, we are lying and are not practicing the truth. 7 If we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.

I understand that no man really ENJOYS sharing his struggles and failures.

But what better place TO SHARE those difficulties than in the context of a supportive community - with OTHER MEN who have SIMILAR STRUGGLES?

Would you rather talk about it with your boss?

You’re wife? Your daughter?

What about your church small group?

Get on stage and share w/the whole church?

Of course not!

Men need a posse. They need encouragement, accountability and support.

And the best vehicle for receiving those things is a community of other men who provide that for each other.

Build It Before You Need It

I’ve got a group of guys in my life who function in this way for me and I don’t know where I’d be without them.

The times that I needed these guys the most were during crisis in life that I didn’t see coming.

That’s why it’s so important to invest yourself into that community NOW so that when the difficult days DO COME you’ve already got your support network in place.

The time to invest yourself in a community of godly men is NOW not LATER. It’s before the storm comes not AFTER it’s done its’ damage.

Often, by that time, it’s too late.

THE NEED AND THE CHALLENGE

The second thing I want to talk about before I discuss where we’re going in 2024 is the sixth pillar of Kingsmen.

The local church is called to raise this kind of man but struggles to do so.

The local church simply CANNOT exist without Godly men. The presence and leadership of Godly men is inextricably linked with God’s blueprint for the church.

What is a church? Have you ever thought about it?

It’s not a building. It’s not a set of programs. It’s not a country club.

A church is a group of believers who meet together regularly, under the authority of Christ their King and Biblically qualified leadership. They worship the Father, study and communicate the Word of God in the power of the Holy Spirit, pray and fellowship together, observe the ordinances and go out to share the love of Christ to a lost world.”

The part of that definition that I want to highlight is the “Biblically Qualified Leadership.”

Pastors & Deacons

There are two leadership offices in the local church: pastors and deacons.

And while there’s an argument to be made for a few female deacons in the NT - the vast majority of the emphasis is on godly men.

Remember when deacons were first created? It’s was in Acts 6 as the church was exploding and the apostles weren’t able to minister to the practical needs of the widows.

So the apostles summoned the church together and said Acts 6:3

Acts 6:3 CSB

3 Brothers and sisters, select from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Spirit and wisdom, whom we can appoint to this duty.

And they did and the church begin to grow day by day.

Then as the Apostle Paul began planting churches all over the known world in his day he explained to Titus how he would establish elders in EVERY CHURCH in every town. Titus 1:5

Titus 1:5 CSB

5 The reason I left you in Crete was to set right what was left undone and, as I directed you, to appoint elders in every town.

Men who were Titus 1:6-9

Titus 1:6–9 CSB

6 An elder must be blameless, the husband of one wife, with faithful children who are not accused of wildness or rebellion. 7 As an overseer of God’s household, he must be blameless, not arrogant, not hot-tempered, not an excessive drinker, not a bully, not greedy for money, 8 but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, righteous, holy, self-controlled, 9 holding to the faithful message as taught, so that he will be able both to encourage with sound teaching and to refute those who contradict it.

And to Timothy Paul wrote 1 Tim 3:1

1 Timothy 3:1 CSB

1 This saying is trustworthy: “If anyone aspires to be an overseer, he desires a noble work.”

Then he gives the qualifications for deacons and concludes 1 Tim 3:15

1 Timothy 3:15 CSB

15 But if I should be delayed, I have written so that you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth.

The local church is what God has chosen to advance his Kingdom to the ends of the earth and Godly Men are who God has chosen to lead those local churches.

God has chosen churches to advance his mission and godly men to lead his churches!

If the church doesn’t become really good at raising up Godly men then she will not fulfill her calling in the Lord.

Every church is to make disciples and teach men and women to observe everything that the Lord has commanded.

But in teaching MEN what God has commended we are also challenging them to become THESE KIND OF MEN with THESE KIND of responsibilities.

The Struggle is Real

The problem? Churches struggle to do this!

Why do churches struggle so greatly in their attempt to raise up godly men?

One reason is because the culture is so hostile to God’s design for manhood.

Churches are fighting against the cultural trends of our day that discourage and diminish God’s design for masculine leadership in the home.

But churches also struggle because men feel uncomfortable in many traditional churches today.

They feel uncomfortable because the church is too feminine.

Some times the songs are too feminine.

The atmosphere is too feminine.

All of the leaders and influences are female.

The singing and the sermons are all about your “feelings and emotions.”

You come away from many churches feeling like you got nagged by your wife and bored by your children instead of confronted with the living GOD.

So guys just check out. They assume church must not be for guys like me.

Kingsmen Has An Answer

That’s why a ministry like this is so important.

Kingsmen helps men in the church thrive in their God-ordained role.

It’s provides a way for MEN TO GATHER AS MEN.

We can sing manly songs in a manly way.

We can hear manly preaching that addresses manly issues.

We can share manly stories and tell manly jokes .

You hear people these days talking about a “safe space” where they won’t be “triggered” by their many issues.

We don’t need any more “safe spaces” for “soft people.”

We need a “challenging place” to build up “strong men.”

That’s what we’re trying to do with Kingsmen.

Every Man is RESPONSIBLE

Because here’s the truth. Not every man in this room is called to be a pastor of their own local church.

(although it may be likely some of you are very much called to do that and this ministry will be what God uses to unearth it in your life)

Not even every man in this room is called to serve on the deacon body in this local church.

(although some of you should and this ministry will help uncover that in your life)

But even though every man isn’t called to be a pastor or a deacon - every man IS CALLED to be EMBRACE RESPONSIBILITY.

Every married man is called to be the head and spiritual leader of his home.

Even single men are called to lead themselves in such a way that they can be trusted with responsibility.

Every young man must learn what looks like to reject passivity and accept responsibility in their own life before the Lord.

And even though the qualifications for a pastor or deacon are very high and specifically defined - they are not virtues that are not also commended to EVERY Christian man in every generation.

And that kind of flourishing requires a community of other men who provide accountability, encouragement and support.

THE FUNNEL AND THE PLAN

So for those two reasons alone we need 2024 to be a year wherein we help Broadview Men THRIVE in their God-ordained role.

So how are we going to do that?

Well, the Kingsmen has a “framework” for how to go about achieving this vision.

It actually comes out of the life of Jesus and HIS framework for developing men.

It can be summarized under five headings.

Engage Men Where They Are

Teach Them God’s Word

Equip Them Through Discipleship

Support Men With Accountability

Empower Men To Accept Their Calling

While each of these five things interact with one another in an organic way. They also function as a sort of funnel for how we are structuring the Kingsmen ministry in 2024.

The Funnel

There are four stages to the funnel that correspond to four levels of commitment and engagement with the Kingsmen Ministry.

Quarterly Gatherings

Monthly Gathering

Weekly Gatherings

Leadership Rotation

Annual/Quarterly Gatherings

Through the quarterly gatherings we are going to attempt to engage men from where they are.

This will include events such as this Beast Feast we’re hosting tonight.

In 2024 we going to host our very first Men’s Advance. We’re bringing in an outside speaker who will address a practical issue in a helpful and engaging way.

In the past these events have included a Rangers Game or Dove Hunt or College Basketball Watch Party.

In the future we might include campouts or other off site things.

The idea behind these kind of gatherings is low commitment / high return. Doesn’t take much from you but adds a lot back to you.

I know guys who are intimated by regular Bible study.

They don’t like to read. They don’t like to get up early. And they ESPECIALLY don’t like to TALK about what they read when it’s early in the morning and with men they don’t even know.

I get it! That’s why there’s a tip of the funnel. It’s to draw men in. Engage them where they are. These are events it should be easy to invite your friends to and ones you’ll WANT to attend because of the value they add to your life.

They are also events with which we can engage our local community outside the local church. These are events that can bring men in who don’t attend church or have any idea what God’s design for manhood looks like.

Leadership Required

Guys who can help with set up/take down.

Cooking meals

Providing venues/locations

Monthly Gatherings

The monthly gatherings are something we played around with this past year but were not as consistent and structured as we plan to be in 2024.

Second Saturday of every month at 7:00AM.

In the monthly gathering we will meet at a central location - usually Broadview - and have coffee, food, teaching and conversation around God’s Word.

If you’ve ever been to one of our Big Breakfast gatherings then you’ll know what these feel like.

We typically work our way through a book about Biblical manhood or a section of Scripture that is particularly relevant to God’s design for manhood.

It’s open to members of our church or non-members. And it’s open to men aged 12 and up.

This last year we went through the book “Family Shepherds” by Voddie Bauchum and the Titus Ten by J.Josh Smith (our conference speaker.)

These meetings will be about an hour and 1/2. The structure of these meetings will look something like this:

20 minutes - food/coffee/drinks and mingle.

10 minutes - prayer/recap/intro to topic

20 minutes - teaching God’s Word

20 minutes - table discussion (takeaways/experiences/questions/application)

10 minutes - Gather Back & Wrap Up (share commitments, forecast, close in prayer)

Leadership Required

We need regular helping making these monthly gatherings a success.

A cook or volunteer who will have breakfast ready to go.

Somebody to brew the coffee. Hand out papers.

Hospitality to welcome / greet people coming in.

Table leaders to facilitate discussion

Clean up team to get room Sunday ready.

Weekly Gatherings

Finally we have our weekly gatherings. These are the third stage of the layer and require an even greater level of commitment from those who participate.

The weekly gatherings are not held on the same day of every week nor are they held at a central location like the monthly gatherings.

These weekly gatherings are smaller, more relational and provide personal encouragement and support for those who participate.

The size of these gatherings shouldn’t be larger than five people.

For the purpose of consistency we’re going to call these D-Groups and we’re going to try launching our first set of D-Groups this coming January.

Even though these types of groups require the greatest level of commitment. These environment will also provide the greatest amount of VALUE.

Your convictions around God’s word will be strengthened and challenged.

Your story and struggles will not longer stay in the dark.

You’ll be encouraged and supported by men who know you and are for you.

You’ll discover the power of accountability and community.

WHO, WHEN & WHAT:

This groups are only available for the people who will actually commit to attending.

They are closed groups and thus require that everybody participate on a consistent basis.

They meet weekly wherever they want and whatever time they want.

They are temporary groups. They will meet for 12 months and then be done. You can join a new D-group after that but the goal is you’d start or join a new one.

These groups will cover a recommended book or portion of Scripture. What is shared in the group will be kept confidential.

The approach to discipleship in these groups is not educational. It’s transformational. It’s obedience based discipleship.

Which means each week you’ll do three things.

You’ll look back to hold each other accountable for the previous week.

You’ll look up to God as you dig into his Truth through his Word.

You’ll look forward by offering one or more “I will statements” so that your group can hold you accountable for what God is leading you to do.

For the first batch of groups we will provide all of your resources and workbooks at no cost to you.

Leadership Required

For these groups to be successful we need

Group leaders who will facilitate the group.

Group facilitator who will organize and tend to their needs.

Leadership Rotation

The last part of the funnel is Leadership Rotation.

This is the idea that those who are currently serving on our Kingsmen leadership team will not remain the only men serving on our leadership team.

Many of you have been called by God to serve as leaders in our church. We want to be able to identify and empower you to lead as God has called you.

We also need men who will join the leadership team of Kingsmen so that it’s not all dependent on one man or pastor.

Ideally the next group of men we elect to our pastoral team are men who were equipped and empowered through the ministry we’re describing.

CONCLUSION

So in conclusion I want to exhort you to do the following things:

#1 Scan

#1 Scan the QR code to join the Broadview Kingsmen Group Me. You can also join the Kingsmen group in the Main Church App.

That’s something every single one of us can do. And if you don’ t like a constant barrage of messages you can always just mute the group and check in as you want!

#2 Sign Up

#2 Sign up to participate in one or more of these things that we talked about tonight. In particular, we need men who will help us launch our D-Groups in 2024.

Based on who signs up tonight will determine HOW MANY groups we’re able to create.

When you sign up I want you to indicate whether you’re interested in facilitating the group or participating in the group. There’s a difference.

The facilitator will be responsible to

prescribe the assigned reading,

prepare for the weekly discussions,

promote meaningful conversation in the group and

protect the integrity of the group so that it accomplishes what we designed it to accomplish.

I will personally meet with every facilitators once a month. Probably after the monthly breakfast.

This will just be a quick check in to see how things are going and any ways that we can help you.

I know some of you guys are ALREADY doing something like this. Or you’re doing something that’s so close you think it might count.

Would you please go ahead and write your name down as well and lets have a conversation about whether this might fit in with the guys you already have influence over.

#3 Show Up

Finally I want to encourage you guys to SHOW UP to the gatherings that we host in 2024.

Obviously you’re not going to participate in every single thing we do as a men’s ministry. We don’t even expect you to do that.

But, when you’re able to show up please show up. Your presence makes a big difference as to whether or not something is a value add or a waste of time.

As you can tell from tonight there’s something motivating about being with a LARGE group of guys who are committed to the same thing.

Even if you don’t participate in the weekly gatherings. You can at least sacrifice 12 Sundays out of your year. Do you know how many minutes we’re asking you to sacrifice? 1,440.

It could’ve been 144,000! We’re asking for 1% of that.

You have 525,600 minutes in every non-leap year. (60x24x365) We’re asking you to give up 0.274% of that time. Maybe 0.3% if you add in the quarterly events and 1 whole percent if you include the weekly gatherings.

If the church can’t function without Godly men. If your family can’t flourish without a Godly man. And if our culture can’t flourish without godly men. Is it really too big of a sacrifice?

I don’t think so.

So let’s do it! And give God the glory.