Leave the Past in the Past

Notes
Transcript
Handout
A Christmas Carol is a novel by English Author, Charles Dickens. You have probably read it or at least watched various movies with the title. It tells the story of a bitter old miser named Ebenezer Scrooge and his transformation into a gentler, kindlier man after visitations by the ghost of his former business partner Jacob Marley and the Ghosts of Christmases Past, Present and Yet to Come.
The tale begins on a "cold, bleak, biting" Christmas Eve exactly seven years after the death of Scrooge's business partner Jacob Marley. Scrooge, an old miser, is established within the first stave as "a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner!" He hates Christmas, calling it "humbug"; he refuses his nephew Fred's Christmas dinner invitation, and rudely turns away two gentlemen who seek a donation from him to provide a Christmas dinner for the poor. His only "Christmas gift" is allowing his overworked, underpaid clerk Bob Cratchit Christmas Day off with pay – which he does only to keep with social custom, Scrooge considering it "a poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every 25th of December!"
At home that night, Scrooge is visited by Marley's ghost, who is forever cursed to wander the earth dragging a network of heavy chains, forged during a lifetime of greed and selfishness. Marley tells Scrooge that he will be visited by three spirits that night, and that he must listen to them or be cursed to carry chains of his own that are much longer than Marley's chains. As Marley departs, Scrooge witnesses other restless spirits who now wish they could help their fellow man, but are powerless to do so.
Scrooge is then visited by the three spirits Marley spoke of – each visit detailed in a separate stave – who accompany him on visits to various Christmas scenes. The first of the spirits, the Ghost of Christmas Past, takes Scrooge to Christmas scenes of Scrooge's boyhood and youth, which stir the old miser's gentle and tender side by reminding him of a time when he was kinder and more innocent.
These scenes portray Scrooge's lonely childhood, his relationship with his beloved sister Fan, and a Christmas party hosted by his first employer, Mr. Fezziwig, who treated Scrooge like a son. They also portray Scrooge's neglected fiancée, Belle, who ends their relationship after she realizes that Scrooge will never love her as much as he loves money, and a visit later in time to the then-married Belle's large and happy family on Christmas Eve.
Ebeneezer Scrooge had a lot of failure and frustration in his past. But so do many in this room. That’s why we need to learn today from the Word of God how to Leave our Past in the Past.
Philippians 3:13–14 NLT
13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
Paul is teaching us that we need to learn how to forget about our past… to leave it in the past.
In A Christmas Carol, Ebenezer Scrooge had to deal with the the Ghost of Christmas Past. And we have to the same as well. That’s important for us to understand today because,
A lot of people struggle with issues from their past because they can’t forget what they have or haven’t experienced.
In this room there are people who’ve been hurt in horrible ways. Perhaps you were hurt by your parents, your siblings, kids at school, people you worked with, or former friends, fiancé’s or spouses. In many ways your life has been negatively impacted by the insensitivity and sinfulness of others.
At the same time, many in this room have been the primary culprit behind the “mess-ups” of your lives. Until we learn how to move past our mess-ups and other’s meanness, we’re never going to live the kind of life God wants us to live.
There are some things we should never forget such as the Salvation and Provision we’ve received from the Lord, and the Support we’ve received from others.
But
There are many things we should forget in our lives, including out frustrations and failures from the past.
One of the great things in the Christian walk is that God can help us conquer our frustrations and failures from the past.

I. With God’s help, we can overcome damage from the past.

Scrooge was taken by the Ghost of Christmas Past to see some of his failures from the past.
Video of Scrooge and the Ghost of Christmas Past dealing with his big regret -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-1lpYarzTs
Scrooge is not the only one to ever mess up.

Everyone messes up at some time in their lives, and the guilt of our disgraces can overwhelm and overcome us.

People handle stress from the past in different ways.
Some people refuse to deal with their guilt from the past.
They just try to block it out of their minds. They refuse to feel guilty about anything. Many people have suppressed guilt to the extent they can continue sinning and hurting other people & don’t feel guilty about it. I hope you’re not one of those kind of individuals.
Other people are always seeking to excuse their guilt.
These are people who acknowledge that they have done some things that are wrong, but they try to blame the reasons for their sins on everyone else. They blame their parents, spouses and others.
Others actually abuse their guilt.
These people are the opposite of those who refuse their guilt. They’re so overwrought with their guilt that they condemn themselves for everything that ever went wrong in life. You know people like that. You may be like that. A lot of people are like a little puppy that gets scolded. They just roll over in the corner and continually dwell on their guilt.
We don’t need to refuse, excuse or abuse our guilt. We need to learn how to get rid of our guilt.
Listen,
We need to deal with our past failures because
Guilt destroys our confidence.
You cannot be a confident person if you have guilt in your life. You may appear to be outwardly confident, but if you have guilt, inwardly you’re a bundle of nerves, worry and apprehension.
Guilt also damages our relationships.
Guilt causes us to respond to people in the wrong ways.
Guilt causes us to be impatient with other people and overreact with anger when things don’t go the way we expect them to go.
Guilt causes some people to spoil others, indulge others.
Guilt can also cause you to avoid commitment in relationships. Some people only get so close in a relationship, and then they start backing away.
Why won’t we let people get close to us or get to know us? One of the reasons oftentimes is Guilt - we’re afraid that when they get to know us and learn about the mistakes we’ve made, that they won’t like us, that they will reject us.
Guilt destines us to remain stuck in the past.
70% of people in hospitals would be healed if they knew how to resolve their guilt.
So, we have to learn how to get over our guilt.
A Boy & his Sister visited their Grandparents. Sally got a doll, while Jack got a slingshot. While they were outside Jack saw a duck, and he used his slingshot to shoot a rock at the duck. Surprisingly, the rock hit the duck and killed him. Knowing that what he’d done was wrong, Jack rushed into the house. Now Sally was right there with him, watching him the entire time. Later on after lunch, Grandma said to Sally, “I want you to help me with the dishes.” She said, “Jack likes washing dishes.” Jack looked at Sally like she was crazy, so she whispered to him, “Remember the duck.” So Jack got up and helped grandma wash the dishes. Later on, Grandpa asked, “Jack and Sally, would you like to go fishing with me?” And Sally piped up and said, “Jack doesn’t like fishing.” When Jack started to protest, she whispered again to him, “Remember the duck.” So Jack told his Grandfather that he’d rather not go fishing. Later on, overcome by his guilt, Jack confessed to his grandmother that he’d killed her duck with his slingshot. She said, “I saw the whole thing through the kitchen window, and forgave you immediately. But I was wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you because of your guilt.”
Guilt will make us slaves and keep us in bondage. So we’ve got to learn how to address and overcome our guilt. Here is how we do that.

Overcoming Guilt & Shame

1. We overcome our guilt by accepting responsibility for our failures.

Proverbs 20:27 GNB
27 The Lord gave us mind and conscience; we cannot hide from ourselves.
The biggest barrier to the healing of your hang-up is you. Release from guilt begins with you being radically honest and saying, I am the problem here.
Here’s what most of us do. We say, “If I could just change relations, jobs, towns or locations, then everything will be fine.” The only problem is that where I go, I’m there, and I’m the one who keeps messing things up.
Construction workers – Committee suicide – “He made his own lunches.”
JOKE - There were 3 workers who worked on high beams on high rise buildings. One was an Italian American, another was a Mexican American, and the 3rd was a Cajun American. One day the Italian American said, “I’m tired of eating meatballs & spaghetti. If I get meatballs & spaghetti one more time in my lunchbox I’m going to jump off this beam.” The Mexican American said, “I’m tired of eating beans & burrito’s. If I get beans & burrito’s one more time in my lunchbox, I’m going to jump off this beam.” The Cajun American said, “I’m tired of having jambalaya for lunch. If I get jambalaya in my lunchbox one more time I’m going to jump off of this beam.” The next day the Italian American got spaghetti and meatballs again, so he jumped off of the beam and hurt himself. The Mexican American got beans and burrito’s again, so he jumped off of the beam and hurt himself. The Cajun American got jambalaya again, so he also jumped off of the beam. Their wives were at the hospital crying and praying for them. The wife of the Italian American said, “If I’d only known that my husband hated spaghetti and meatballs so much, I would have given him something else.” The wife of the Mexican American said, “If I’d only known he hated beans & burrito’s so much, I would have given him something else.” The wife of the Cajun American said, “Don’t look at me. He fixed his own lunches.
I’m the one who keeps messing up things in my life. You’re the one who keeps messing up the things in your life. So we need to take responsibility for our faults.
Don’t rationalize. Don’t say “it happened a long time ago.” Don’t say “it’s just a stage that I went through or I’m going through.” Don’t say, “everybody does it.” Don’t rationalize what you’ve done or what you’ve been doing.
Don’t minimize it. Don’t say, “It’s no big deal.” If it was no big deal, how come you still remember it 20 years later? Don’t minimize.
Don’t blame others saying, “If it wasn’t for this person or that person I wouldn’t be this way.” –
Your problems may be 90% the fault of someone else, but God holds you responsible for the 10% you are in control of.
Quit trying to blame others for the strongholds and sins of life, and and just admit your sins and that you’re the primary cause of most of the problems in your life.
1 John 1:8 NLT
8 If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth.
1 John 1:8 LBP
8 If we say that we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and refusing to accept the truth.
1 John 1:8 (Phillips)
If we refuse to admit that we are sinners, then we live in a world of illusion and truth becomes a stranger to us. But if we freely admit that we have sinned, we find God utterly reliable and straightforward—he forgives our sins and makes us thoroughly clean from all that is evil. For if we take up the attitude “we have not sinned”, we flatly deny God's diagnosis of our condition and cut ourselves off from what he has to say to us.
Here is the point.
If I’m going to stop defeating myself, I’ve got to stop deceiving myself by pretending that my problems are everyone else’s fault.
What are you pretending to not feel guilty about, but in your heart you still do? Don’t you think it’s time to finally deal with it and get over it so that you can get on living.
Take a moral inventory, then look at the list, take responsibility for it and confess it to God.

2. We overcome our guilt by asking for forgiveness.

God is a people loving, prayer answering, miracle working, life transforming, and relationship reconciling God. But more than that, He is a FORGIVING God.
When we surrender our lives to Jesus, He forgives all of our past guilt.
We are all sinners.
Isaiah 1:18 (LBP)
18 ... no matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly fallen snow.
Romans 3:23–24 LBP
23 Yes, all have sinned; all fall short of God’s glorious ideal; 24 yet now God declares us “not guilty” of offending him if we trust in Jesus Christ, who in his kindness freely takes away our sins.
Romans 8:1 NLT
1 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.
When we surrender our lives to Jesus, the Lord forgives all of our past guilt. The Bible says that He “casts our sins as far as the east from the west,” He “buries it beneath the sea,” He “remembers it no more,” and He “blots it out as though it never existed.” That’s how complete the forgiveness of our God is when we surrender our lives to Jesus.
When we sin after our salvation experience, God will forgive us over and over as long as we repent and turn back to him.
1 John 1:9 (Phillips)
… If we freely admit that we have sinned, we find God utterly reliable and straightforward—he forgives our sins and makes us thoroughly clean from all that is evil.
Some people don’t want to acknowledge their sin and ask for God’s forgiveness. But they are going to continue to be haunted by their past sins, by their guilt from the past. The Bible teaches that If we freely admit our guilt and sin, God will forgive us.
What is the right way to ask God for forgiveness? First, let me tell you some ways that aren’t right, some bad ways to try to get forgiveness from God.
DON’T BEG. You don’t have to beg for God to forgive you. He already wants to. He want to forgive you more than you want forgiveness.
DON’T BARGAIN– Don’t say, “If You’ll just forgive me, I’ll never do this again.” How many times have you said that to God? How many times have you kept your end of the bargain? You’re just deceiving yourself when you pray like that.
DON’T BRIBE – Don’t say, “God. if You’ll for me, I promise to do a bunch of good things. I’ll go to church every Sunday. I’ll tithe. And I’ll give $100,000 to fix the roof.
Joke: A wealthy man was on his way to the hospital with a heart attack. He prayed, Lord if you will get me through this heart attack, I will give 1 million dollars to my church. When his pastor heard what had been pledged by the man, he had a heart attack.
We don’t get forgiveness through begging, bargaining with or bribing God – but through believing – through believing that the Lord will forgive our sins and restore our relationship with Him when we genuinely repent & confess our sins to Him.

3. We overcome our guilt by admitting our faults to someone we trust.

I know that’s scary for many. You may be thinking do I have to do that to be forgiven? No, but to be healthy and live in freedom you do.
James 5:16 LBP
16 Admit your faults to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous man has great power and wonderful results.
We receive forgiveness from God when we confess our sins to Him. But we receive healing from our Hurts, Bad Habits and Hang-ups when we confess our sins to others. “Why do I need to drag another person into this? Why can’t I just admit my struggles and strongholds to God? Why do I need to tell one other person?”
Because the root of our problems is relational.
We lie to each other.
We deceive each other.
We’re dishonest with each other.
We wear masks and pretend to have it all together even when we don’t.
We deny our true feelings towards others and play games with ourselves & others.
All of this relational activity isolates us from others and keeps us from intimacy with God and others. And so we end up living with shame, feeling insecure, and wondering and worrying about what will happen if anyone else ever knew what we’ve done in life.
That worry, that fear of rejection causes us to become sick, physically, emotionally & spiritually. The secrets we hold onto are what make us sick in our heart and defeated in our lives. That’s why God says that revealing our feelings to others, confessing our faults to others is the beginning of healing.
If we’re not willing to take that step, we will hide more of what is going on in our lives, the bigger it will become and the worse it will get. But the amazing thing is, when you risk honesty and transparency with another person, all of a sudden this feeling of freedom comes into your life. You realize that everyone has problems, often same as you do. You also realize that you have much more strength to fight your Hurts, Habits and Hang-ups with when you are completely accountable, transparent and honest with someone else.
“So, what do I do? Do I just go out and broadcast my sins to everybody?” No, telling the wrong person could bring you big trouble.
Joke - 3 preachers were out fishing one time, a Catholic Priest, a Presbyterian Pastor, and a Baptist Pastor. The Priest began to confess to his peers. He said, “Sometimes I drink way too much of that Communion wine.” The Presbyterian Pastor said, “Sometimes I drink a little too much bourbon at night, and I have a hang-over in the morning.” They looked at the Baptist Pastor, waiting for him to confess his stronghold. He said, “My sin is the sin of Gossip, and I can’t wait to get back and tell what I’ve heard today.” Be careful that the person you share with or confess to doesn’t have a problem with gossip in their lives.
Who do we tell? Tell someone you trust.
Tell someone you know will keep a confidence, who is not a gossip and who is a mature Christian. You never want to tell someone who is going to post it up on FB… even as a prayer request.
Mature Christians will be honored that you have chosen them to unburden yourself to. They will be transparent themselves about what they’ve struggled with in life. And they will readily embrace and love you, and keep in confidence what you share with them because they understand themselves the love, grace & mercy of the Lord.
What do we tell?
Share some things that are and have been wrong in your life, the struggles and strongholds of your life. You don’t have to tell all details. Just admit the problems and strongholds that you’ve struggled with.
When do we tell? As soon as possible.
. Don’t procrastinate. The longer you keep your secrets, the longer you will be defeated by your sin, and the longer you will have sadness and sorrow in your heart.
In the movie Exodus, and in that Bible story, there is a time when a plague of frogs has terrorized Egypt. Pharaoh tells Moses that he is willing to let God’s people go if he will get rid of the frogs. So Moses says, “Okay. When do you want the frogs to be gone?” And Pharaoh responds, “Tomorrow.” A song was written based on that story titled, “One more night with the frogs.”
Who would want to have one more night with a horde of frogs, when you could have them gone right away? Who wants to live another day with sin, shame and guilt in their lives when they can get rid of all that quickly and powerfully? A lot of people find relief, release, and peace and joy through taking this step.

4. We overcome our guilt by accepting God’s forgiveness and forgiving ourselves.

A Soldier was brought into camp in Vietnam who was dying. The Chaplain asked him, “Is there anything I can do for you?” And the young soldier, reflecting on the guilt and shame of his life said, “I need someone who can undo some things for me.“
That’s what the Lord can do. He can “undo our guilt and shame” and He will do it immediately when we come to Him seeking forgiveness. God forgives us instantly. He doesn’t make us wait. He doesn’t make us suffer. He forgives us instantly and He forgives us freely - He freely takes away our sins.
Psalm 32:1–5 NLT
1 Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! 2 Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty! 3 When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. 4 Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Interlude 5 Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Interlude
One of the Spider Man movies had bad Spider Man in black suit. It was the worst part of Peter Parker coming out because of something that had happened to him. When he was trying to get his life back to together, Aunt May said to Peter Parker, “Sometimes hardest step of all is to forgive ourselves.” We need to learn how to do that, because when we confess our sins to Him, the Lord forgives us instantaneously and completely.

II. With God’s help, we can overcome the disappointments from the past.

Not only do we hurt ourselves, but others hurt us as well. Maybe you have been hurt by your parents, your siblings, kids at school, people you worked with, or former friends, fiance’s or spouses. In many ways your life has been negatively impacted by the insensitivity, meanness and sinfulness of others. Listen to me,
People are going to hurt us in life, sometimes intentionally or un-intentionally.
And we’ve got to learn how to overcome those hurts, or we will find ourselves being continually stuck in the past. How do we do that?

1. We overcome past frustrations with others by confessing our hurt.

We can forgive those who have hurt us by being honest about it and admitting we’ve been hurt by others. If you honestly have a hard time recognizing hurt, just ask God to reveal it to you.
Psalm 139:23–24 NLT
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
We’ve got some options when it comes to hurt. We can repress it - just ignore it and push it away and pretend it doesn’t exist. We can say, “It’s no big deal, it doesn’t matter or they did the best they could.” That way never works. It always pops out in some other form of compulsion in our lives.
We can express them - letting everybody in the world know how hurt we are or use the hurts of our lives to manipulate others.
Or, we can confess our hurts, simply admitting that we are hurt and that we need God’s help with overcoming our hurts. Confessing hurt is better than repressing or expressing hurt because there’s no closure without disclosure.

2. We overcome past frustrations with others by considering how the Lord has forgiven us.

Colossians 3:13 LBP
13 Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
How many of you are glad that the Lord has forgiven you? We must treat others the same way that the Lord has treated us, remembering that we will “reap what we sow” in life.

3. We overcome past frustrations with others by freeing our offenders.

We release people from our wrath (not God’s judgement) and anger by forgiving them.
Releasing our offenders’ means letting them go, and letting go of the hurt. You release people by forgiving them. You don’t wait for them to ask for forgiveness and you do it whether they ask you for forgiveness or not because you are not doing it for their sake. You’re doing it for your sake because God has forgiven you and holding on to resentment only keeps you from God’s blessing. People ask, “How many times should I forgive others?”
Matthew 18:21–22 NLT
21 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” 22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!
Forgiveness is not a one-time thing - you will have to do this over and over. Feelings keep coming back and every time you get those feelings, you have to forgive the person all over again. Every time those thoughts and feelings come to mind, you must forgive them again. Forgiveness is not a one-shot deal. It’s something that you have to constantly do. Jesus said, “Over and over and over and over” we need to forgive people. Every time those thoughts and feelings come to mind, you must forgive them again until you know that you have released them fully. That may take 3 times, it may take 30 times, or it may take 300 times.
How do you know when you have fully released an offender? When you can think about them and it doesn’t hurt anymore - when you can pray God’s blessing upon their life - when you begin to look at them and understand their hurt rather than just focusing on how they hurt you.
Two brothers, Harry & James, had finished supper, and while they were playing Harry hit James. Tears and bitter words followed. Charges & accusations were still being exchanged as their mother put them to bed. She said, “Now, James, before you go to bed, you’re going to have to forgive your brother.” James said, “OK, I’ve forgiven him tonight. But if I don’t die before I wake up, he’d better look out in the morning.” Don’t be like that.
We need to forgive & forgive & forgive till we’re not angry or hurt anymore, till we’ve forgiven others as many times as the Lord has forgiven us.

4. We overcome past frustrations with others by developing God’s peace in our lives.

Colossians 3:15 NKJV
15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.
Some people struggle with this because it feels like you are letting the person off the hook. You’re not. You’re letting God settle the score and He can do a much better job of it than we can. One day everyone will have to give an account for their life to God & every sin will be punished. Until then,
Hebrews 12:14–15 NLT
14 Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. 15 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.
We should forgive & reconcile with others because of what we’ve received from the Lord.
Anyone here ever been forgiven by the Lord? How many of you are glad you’ve been forgiven by the Lord?
Colossians 3:13 NLT
13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
When you remember just how much the Lord has forgiven and continues to forgive you, it is a whole lot easier to forgive other people. Thankfully you will never have to forgive anyone else more than the Lord has forgiven you.
We should forgive & reconcile with others because of the foolishness of resentment.
Job 5:2 GNB
2 To worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish, senseless thing to do.
Refusing to forgive someone is like you drinking poison and hoping it hurts the other person. You may be upset, aggravated, and stressed with ulcers, lack of sleep, and headaches but the other person you’re mad at isn’t upset at all. Resentment is like a cancer that eats you alive and always ends up hurting yourself more than other people.
Job 18:4 GNB
4 You are only hurting yourself with your anger. Will the earth be deserted because you are angry? Will God move mountains to satisfy you?
Listen to me,
Resentment can’t change the past, correct the problem, or change or hurt others.
We should forgive & reconcile with others because we will need forgiveness in the future.
Mark 11:25 NLT
25 But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.”
The Bible teaches us that we cannot receive what we are not willing to give. In the Model Prayer, one translation says, “and forgive us of our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
A little girl once prayed that prayer and said, “And forgive us of our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.”
Are you willing to pray, “Lord, forgive me in the same way I forgive everyone else”? We should because forgiveness is a two way street.
On the Oprah Winfrey Network there was a story about a man who raped and murdered a young woman and then set her body on fire. The whole thing was captured on surveillance tape and the man was convicted to life in prison. The man who killed their daughter never admitted to it (even though it was caught on tape) and he never apologized to the family.
As they were leaving the courtroom the family of the young woman who was killed saw the mother of the man who murdered their daughter. She was crying and horrified and couldn't believe her son would do such things, but it was undeniable since it was captured on video. The mom and dad of the young woman went over to their killer's mom and told her they forgave her and her son. The mom of the killer broke down in tears and the two women embraced. The parents of the girl are then shown worshiping in church and talking about how even though they still struggle with the loss of their daughter they have found a channel to help other young women by starting a scholarship for young actresses in their daughter’s name. That’s a good illustration about the freedom that comes from forgiving others

“What past ‘frustrations’ or ‘failures’ to I need to let go of, so that I can become everything the Lord has called me to be, and do everything He has called me to do?”

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