Matthew 1:18-25 - Unexpected Glory in Disappointments

What has been the greatest disappointment in your life? Thing about it. Get that one specific event in your mind.

When I think of disappointment in my life, it may be September 28, 1994. After prolonging labor as long as was safe for Ann, Sarah was delivered and her APGAR score revealed that she needed to be in a large hospital NICU. As Ann recuperated from the emergency c-section in one hospital, Sarah was put on a ventilator as I followed the Ambulance 70 miles East to Oklahoma City. She lay in an incubator under bilirubin lights with a machine supplying oxygen and removing Carbon Dioxide from her little lungs.

My disappointment pales to that experienced by my friend Cindy Johnston, whose daughter, Joy, was born with many neurological anomalies; or Dick and Jenny whose son, Rick, or Doug and Mandy whose son, Ty, were both born with Trisomy 21; a third chromosome 21, commonly known as Down Syndrome.

For you disappointment may look like the diagnosis of cancer, the announcement that you and your spouse will not be able to conceive, the report that ‘we can no longer find a heartbeat’, the revelation that the love of your life has betrayed your marriage vows, or the bank is calling in the loan on your homestead.

Sometimes disappointment comes in waves as indications begin to emerge that things are not as expected. Other times disappointment comes totally out of left field.

Transition: Joseph, in today’s lesson, encounters this gut kick of the 2nd type.

A Romantic Relationship (Mt 1:18a)

I have been accused of not having a romantic bone in my body, I beg to differ, this little bone in the middle of my left pinky values romance.

For those of you who have memorized the plot to every Hallmark movie, the plotline of today’s story may seem familiar.

Small town romance starts well, encounters a crisis, the characters adjust and live happily ever after.

They were born in a small town

John Mellencamp and Bruce Springsteen were not the first to have small hometowns.

The village’s 40,000 square meters could have accommodated a population as high as 2,000 (Meyers and Strange, Archaeology, 56), but current estimates allow a population of only 200–500 at the time of Jesus. All evidence supports the view that Nazareth’s primary industry was agriculture, including the production of wine and olive oil. The slopes supported the growing of wheat and barley. The soil to the south permitted the cultivating of vegetables. The village, like many throughout the ancient Mediterranean, was likely self-sufficient, though poor. The lack of remains from the period suggests that houses were constructed of local uncut stones and mud with thatch roofing.[i]

So we can legitimately imagine that they were from a town somewhere between the size of Elmdale and Strong City. Most likely their families had known each other before Mary and Joseph were ever born.

Not only did they know each other, but it is likely that everybody in town knew that they knew each other.

If houses were indeed built out of stacked stone, the fact that Joseph is later referred to as a carpenter most likely means that he had picked up the family trade of masonry or building tables and furnishings out of wood.

Betrothal in arranged marriages was VERY different than engagement today.

Betrothal meant that both families had come to arrangement with dowery and the transfer from Mary’s father to Joseph after he had proven he could provide for her.

The betrothal period did at least 2 things. 1) the Bride’s chastity and righteousness would be proven to witnesses; and 2) the Groom would built an addition on the family home to provide for his wife.

This picture of betrothal is exactly what is happening with regards to the Bride of Christ between the first and 2nd advents. The Bride price has already been paid (by Christ’s death on Calvary) so that she belongs to Him. She is given opportunity to proof her devotion to Him alone as holy and without blemish, and He is preparing a place that where He is, we may be also.

As Mary was doing and not doing what was expected, and Joseph was doing and not doing what was expected. The shock of the 2nd half of v.18 interrupts every plan and dream that this young couple possessed.

Mary and Joseph did things in the right order.

1. Physical intimacy follows living together follows marriage!

2. It may seem rather strange to modern ears, but there was a time when consummationand cohabitation only followed matrimony and waiting.

Transition: We don’t have to travel far in in our minds to understand how a man who had disciplined himself, met the approval and demands of his father-in-law, and was working hard to make a good life for Mary hears the 5 words—found to be with child. 18 letters in English, (only 3 words and 14 letters in Greek) changes everything.

Disappointment of Ruined Dreams (Mt 1:18b-19)

Small Town secrets/rumors

15 years ago Faith Hill released the song, “A Baby Changes Everything”

Teenage girl, much too young Unprepared for what's to come A baby changes everything Not a ring on her hand All her dreams and all her plans A baby changes everything The man she loves she's never touched How will she keep his trust? A baby changes everything And she cries!

She cries for good reason. Although the man is just and loves her deeply, she has lost his trust.

We don’t know how “it was found”. The Angel informed Mary what would happen before it happened, but apparently she had kept the secret from Joseph and her family until symptoms began to manifest.

Shame from assumptions

People’s tongues wag when they think they know more than they actually know.

Small town people aren’t stupid, we are pretty simple. Either she was not as chaste as she portrayed OR she had been violated meaning that either her father or her husband had failed to protect her.

Solution by a “just man”

Joseph appears to not be concerned with saving his own reputation by publicly distancing himself from the situation.

His concern for Mary was greater than his concern for himself.

If he had put her away publicly, as he had every legal and societal right, it would have communicated, “I’m not saying what happened to/with Mary, but I know what did NOT happen with her and I’m announcing I am still the young businessman you’ve come to trust.”

Transition: Just as there was shame attached to wrong assumptions, Disappointment flows from a limited perspective. When Joseph is given a different point of view, He is introduced to…

A Much Better Reality (MT 1:20-23)

If Miss Hill (or Mrs. McGraw) was right that a baby changes everything, It is even more true that THIS baby, THE baby, changes EVERYthing.

Small family or all His people?

Any child would have changed the experiences of Joseph & Mary in Nazareth, the a child from the Holy Spirit changes the reality for all of humanity.

God’s plan for Mary’s child is not only broader than one family, its duration is longer than one lifetime.

The last 4 words of v.18 say that Joseph knew the claim that the pregnancy was the work of God’s Spirit before he had the angelic dream. This claim introduced just enough doubt into Joseph’s mind that he determined a quiet breakup was more appropriate than a public declaration in court.

Where else has the hovering of God’s Spirit impacted humanity? Genesis 1:2 tells us The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. When God spoke an something emerged from nothing.

In the ancient Near East there were various theories about the origin of earth and humanity. The Hebrews had believed for thousands of years that God has spoken all out of nothing. So it stands to reason that God’s breath could again speak an embryo into existence without the contribution of man.

By putting her away quietly Joseph is saying “this could be a work of God (again), but I KNOW it is nothing of my doing!”

Any child would change the family of Mr & Mrs Joseph, but THE child would change the human family.

50 years or Eternity

If Joseph was approaching 20 years old, and if people in the first century lived to 70ish, Joseph’s disappointment involves his dream for the next 50 years. What would this child mean to his reputation and his heritage?

But God is asking Joseph to exchange his 50-year dream for a destiny that had been revealed in the Garden of Eden in Gen 3:15 – Ever since the first humans rebelled against God, the only hope for restoration of any of humanity would the an offspring of woman who would crush the evil one.

THIS child changes everything, not just for Joseph’s family, bur for all of humanity.

Notice 2 names given to the Child

a name expressed something of the very essence of that which was being named. Hence, to know the name was to know something of the fundamental traits, nature, or destiny of that to which the name belonged. In the Bible, a name may denote some feature considered fundamental to that which is being so designated—whether that feature is physical or something more abstract[ii]

Naming was normally a public announcement associated with the rite of circumcision. Naming in this venue intrinsically identified Jesus with the Jewish people, countering the myth that a Roman Soldier had mistreated Mary. Joseph goes on record, but makes no claim to personal involvement.

Jesus – YHWH saves

a. OT Joshua saved the people from desert wanderings and provided victory over territorial foes.

b. NT Y’shua saves the people from consequences and guilt of sin and provides complete deliverance from the power of evil.

c. There were many Jesuses in the first century as many people hoped God would deliver the Jews from Rome; but Matthew clarifies in v1:18 that this Jesus is the anointed one, the Messiah, the Christ.

Emmanuel – God with us (Is 7:14 & 8:8)

Isaiah is the only OT prophet who used the name Immanuel. Isaiah wrote about 100 years before Daniel (and other young men) was taken to Babylon.

When living as refugees in hostile territory, God’s presence could be the only source of hope or peace.

The Apostle Paul would later write about a peace that surpasses all understanding.

Some of our mothers recall the emotion of the first day of school. All the reassurances were given that junior would be okay even if mommy isn’t present. Since birth your child had been able to count on the presence of a parent if something unexpected were to happen. Even as your little person attempted to do more and more things for himself or herself, both of you derived comfort from the reality of presence.

d. Joseph didn’t have to repeat Isaiah’s name, because everyone could see Jesus was with them.

Transition: Awareness of the prophetic nature of this baby placed a demand on Joseph. His dream had been shattered, but how would he interact with the destined child?

Obedient Realignment (Mt 1:24-25)

Joseph did what God required of him

1. He did as the angel of the Lord commanded him

2. He was commanded not to be afraid to marry Mary.

3. He was commanded to call the boy by a specific name.

Joseph honored his fiance’/wife

1. He took his wife

2. Mary’s needs for a godly husband was more important than preserving his own reputation.

3. The work of God in Mary meant that Joseph would continue to position his desires below the destined plan of God.

Joseph humbly assumed the role of stepfather.

1. Naming presumes responsibility. Matthew notes that it is Joseph (not Mary) who assigns the name that had been given to him by dream.

2. We will see in the next chapter that it is Joseph (singular) who takes his wife and the child to Egypt, not that both parents made the decision.

Transition: These 8 verses describe a plot that is familiar to each of us: our lives include disappointments.

Conclusion:

How do you cope with disappointment? When your plans go south? When your dreams get crushed? Notice I said “when”, not “if”. Because none of us sits on the Throne of the World, so ALL of us will encounter life’s disappointments.

A pastor friend in Omaha told me the Children’s sermon he was going to connect with this text. Since I know that the short children’s sermon often has equal (or greater) teaching power, I share his story with you:

1) What does a kettle like this do to water? 2) What happens when this egg sits in boiling water for 5-10minutes? 3) What happens when a potato like this sits in boiling water for 10 minutes?

I’m sure there is some scientific explanation about the difference between proteins and starch, but I’m a simple man who chooses to enjoy both boiled eggs and mashed potatoes.

How can disappointment soften us? It softens us by relieving our anxiety – “be anxious for nothing” (Phil 4:6). It softens us by reminding we are not in control – “…Does the clay say to him who forms it, ‘What are you making?’ or ‘Your work has no handles’? (Is 45:9).

Sarah, Joy, Rick & Ty each have brought unique joy and blessing to those who know them that would never had been possible without the disappointing moments. Those moments are never desired, but they are truly unexpected examples of God’s glorious plan.

Joseph could have allowed his disappointment to make him angry, bitter, and resentful. But he chose to become pliable and submissive to the plan of God. How will you respond to your disappointments?

May we be more like potatoes and less like eggs!

Song of Response #371.. “Have Thine Own Way, Lord”

Benediction: Isaiah 9:6 (ESV:2016) — For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

[i] Koiter, Ian W.K. 2016. “Nazareth.” In The Lexham Bible Dictionary, edited by John D. Barry, David Bomar, Derek R. Brown, Rachel Klippenstein, Douglas Mangum, Carrie Sinclair Wolcott, Lazarus Wentz, Elliot Ritzema, and Wendy Widder. Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press. [ii] Bohmbach, Karla G. 2000. “Names and Naming.” In Eerdmans Dictionary of the Bible, edited by David Noel Freedman, Allen C. Myers, and Astrid B. Beck, 944. Grand Rapids, MI: W.B. Eerdmans.