Fake Friends / The Book of Proverbs

Aside from your family, no group will influence you as deeply as your friends. The proverbs teach us,

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Do you admire your friends? Because that is who you are becoming. Show me your friend group, I’ll show you your future self.

Pew research found that more than half of teens text their friends every day. The majority of your time with friends will be at school or in homes. You will spend time with your friends more than your church family and possibly more than your blood family.

So tonight, we are going to teach you how to discern if your friends are real or fake.

Fake friends operate through whispers and winks.

Proverbs 16:28 (ESV)

A dishonest man spreads strife,

and a whisperer separates close friends.

At their core, fake friends are dishonest. Instead of being real with you, they will deceive you by acting like something they’re not.

Two questions:

Do your friends act consistently in different settings? If not, they may be deceptive.

What affect do your friends have on the group? With their words, are they sowing peace or spreading strife?

The example of a farmer. Results will take time. But it will begin with whispers. Whispers of gossip are the seeds of division.

Be committed to honest comments instead of whispers and flattery.

Fake friends care more about their popularity than your reputation.

Proverbs 17:9 (ESV)

Whoever covers an offense seeks love,

but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.

In every real relationship you will be given two realities: trust and problems. What you choose to do with these reveals whether or not you’re a real friend.

I once heard a pastor describe young couples who had no problems in pre-marital counseling. He would ask them, “do you really know each other?”

Because of our sinful nature, we will offend our friends. And they will offend us. Every time this happens, it is an opportunity to display the gospel.

Either you make them pay for the offense. Or you absorb the pain of the offense through genuine forgiveness. That is what Jesus did for us on the cross.

Love covers a multitude of sins and love can save a friendship.

When Nick Losee took Hannah on a date. I addressed the issue and forgave.

Some of you may be thinking, “But wait! I thought we were supposed to call out sin.” There is a time to tactfully rebuke sin, but here are two situations when you should cover an offense: Cover when they’ve wronged you or haven’t directly wronged the person you’re talking to.

If you share the problems of friends to those who are unrelated to the issue, you will be a person of devision.

After all, the more a matter is repeated, the less likely it is to be accurate.

Telephone game

Avoid people who are quick to share your failures and quick to boast about their strengths.

Fake friends are distant even when they’re right next to you.

Proverbs 18:24 (ESV)

A man of many companions may come to ruin,

but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Beware of the person who is liked by all and known by none.

Often a person can become popular through unstable situations.

Being attractive is unstable: what happens when you become old?

Being wealthy is unstable: what happens when you leave your wealthy parents and can’t secure a good job?

Being successful is unastable: your sports season will end, that new social media platform will become the old school platform

The popular kid’s today may be the adults you pity tomorrow.

In contrast, there are certain types of people who become closer than family. You didn’t choose your relatives, but you can choose your friends.

Choose friends because of stable qualities like character and discipline. Not unstable qualities like looks and success.

It’s better to have one real friend, than 20 fake friends.

What to do if your friend is fake:

Be honest with them and see if their actions change.

Proverbs 27:6 (ESV)

Faithful are the wounds of a friend;

profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

2. Let them go. (Judas)

Schwamb example