Let go of Control

Introduction

Merry Christmas!

Introduce self

Dismiss Children

Continueing our series “Travelling light”

and I want to ask you this morning how many of you have one area of life you have to control…lift hand of person next to you…God about to speak to you about letting go of control.

Character- Controlling, wound tight, illusion of control

Throughout my time as a pastor having the privelge of preaching on just about a weekly basis, I often have a message where I feel like I need it preached to me. Today is one of those messages, kind of. And hopefully you’ll see why I put the caveat by the end of this.

Some have said I can be wound tight or controlling in some aspects. I defintely like to control my schedule as much as a pastor can. And I do so in order to accomplish what I beleive God has called me to.

I beleive many of you would say you either do the same or would like to do the same. A great example of this is New years resolution and a plan to meet them.

Now that’s pretty basic but youg et the point. Maybe yu have a goal of saving so much in Roth or 401k. Maybe you want to go on so many dates this year with your spouse.

You set goals and plans to accomplish them. And if your like me you will say no to things that keep you from doing it.

If your like this, then some would say your controlling to.

now, I ahve some items up here and I need an adult volunteer to help me illustrate something.

From point A to point B. What is your plan to get there?

stop during route and add challenges (fight against the challenges)

Need: gift, tree, garland, chair…

Round of Applause.

He had a goal, he had a plan, and he tried to control what was going on around Him but God had a different plan.

Problem-Burden of Control, Stress, Anxiety

have you ever tried to control something? What about someone?

Maybe it was your circumstances, your spouse, your friends, your co-workers…your kids

What does that do for you? What does it do for them?

Most likely causes stress and anxiety in your life and theirs.

You say “I’m not controlling though…I’m aggressively helpful”

Thoroughly organized… Or your so wound tight you make coffee nervous.

We find our selves so controlling of our kids and what they wear, how their hair is, how they act, major in college, and listen I’m not telling you not to parent your kids… love them, guide them, raise them in the nuruture and admonition of the Lord, teach them (ya’ll gonna get mad one this one) that wearing pajamas out doesn’t represent themselves or their faith well.

At some point though when they get older you have to opent he cage and let them fly. Let them follow Jesus as He leads them.

You try to control your spouse. Where to go…how they drive Come on…where are my back seat or passenger seat drivers at? What to say and not to say…finish their sentences

And this carries over to big life events. What you want God to do When you want God to do it and How you want god to accomplish it.

How does that life work for you?

Agitated-Inner turmoil when plans change

I bet it’s exhausting. It’s frustrating becuase everyone isn’t doing what you think they shoudl be doing. You beleive they should behave and conduct themselves exactly as you do and if they don’t you should correct them.

You believe that everyone should change their life and plans to adjust to your own preferences becuase that would make things easier.

You don’t follow Jesus closely becuase He may call yu to change your life and live in such a way that goes against your flesh. He coudl radically transform you as a spouse and parent. He could change your profession. He coudl do a number of things and fi you get too close to Him you could be like those crazy people the give up careers for full time ministry, missions, or maybe actualyl serve in the church.

how’s that working out?

Are you engged in fights and arguments with people? Are you isolating yourself becuase others don’t bend to your will. Are you thrown into afrenzy when any sort of wrench is thrown into your life?

Does your day or week get ruined becuase one red light catches you that you didn’t plan on? Does your relationship become sour because someone said soemthing that you woudln’t have said?

Hows that life? Do you enjoy that?

I know when I try to control things too much, I usually end up frustrated, stressed, and anxious.

Solution-Faith and an embracing of God’s plan

What if I told you it was a choice to control? What if I told you that you didn’t ahve to have to contorl of everything and everyone?

Some of you in here just felt a little tension in your shoulders from the stress and anxiety that thought caused. Let’s all do this so no one feels uncomfrotable…shake em out. come on every one, let’s loosen up…shake it off

Becuase there is another option. There is a means of letting Go and letting God. It starts with a choice but to make that choice their must be udnerstanding.

Ultimately we must have faith in Jesus and believe in God. Then we understand who we are in light of Christ, who others are, and embrace His plans for your life over your own.

You see when we overestimte our ability to control, we are underestimating His power.

Now remember there is a difference between control and stewardship.

Let me explain.

I brought a towel from my home today. This towel can represent an argument my wife and I had for, I’m sad to say, a few years . Now this isn’t to pick on her, I’m sure she could share things I control…like where the toothpaste is squeezed from, it took me years to get her trained right. But this towel.

Early in our marriage I would help with the laundry and find out that she went back and had redone it. I woudl fold the towely some which way only to be told I was doing it wrong.

Now, the goal for me was take this clean towel and get it put away not in a ball…So anything other than a spherical shape was a success. For her, it was a little different.

What did this lead to? Me learning how to do it and saying “O yes honey, you are right and I can’t believe I would ever imagine folding this towel another way.”

No..that is not what happened. I believe it was almost 10 years into our marriage or more before I got back to helping with towels. And it came form watching the woman on Netflix that was a home organizer. I loved the way she did things. When I did it her way Sarah said “see thats it…” and now our marriage is good agin.

But this is a great time for to tell explain to you the difference between control and stewardship.

Guide-Biblical Wisdom, God’s plan

1 Corinthians 4:2 “2 Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful.”

To guide you in battling with your control issues we find this verse and others.

You are not called to control everything, you are called to steward what God has given you.

And be faithful in your stewardship.

What is stewardship, it’s the management of something that you don’t own.

When you take mom and dads car out, steward. When you determine hwo to spend the money God has allowed you to have, steward.

Stewardship becomes control when the one who owns it tells you to do something else and you decide you like your way better.

Great acts of God have happened throughout time, not becuase someone said “God I know better than you” but becuase someone said “God your ways are higher than mine, your ways are better than mine, let it be according to your word.”

And that’s how the earthly life of Jesus started. With someone relinquishing control of their life and giving it over to God.

Journey-Surrender, Luke 1:26-38

In Luke 1 26 we encounter a young lady who is about to have her life flipped upside down.

Her 5 year plan and 10 year goals are about to be tossed out the window.

Her reputation and career path are about to be impacted greatly, becuase God had a better plan.

We are going to read quite a few verses here so I’d like you to stay with me and follow along in your bible or on the screen.

Luke 1:26–38 “26 And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth, 27 To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin’s name was Mary. 28 And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women. 29 And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be. 30 And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. 31 And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS. 32 He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David: 33 And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end. 34 Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man? 35 And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God. 36 And, behold, thy cousin Elisabeth, she hath also conceived a son in her old age: and this is the sixth month with her, who was called barren. 37 For with God nothing shall be impossible. 38 And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.”

If you have been a Christian through a Christmas season you know this story. The Angle Gabriel comes to Mary and tells her she will be the mother of the Messiah.

Ti’s the passage that has inspired the famous song “Mary did you know…”

I don’t think she did, not fully.

Something we don’t consider is Mary’s Age.

It’s believed that Mary was between 13-16 years old here. This was a common age to be engaged in the culture.

And being engaged in the jewish culture wasn’t like it is today. They were basically married. LIke, ending this engagemetn would be looked on just as bad as if they got a divorce. There was no leaving them at the altar here.

Here is this young virgin getting the news that She is going to be the mother of Jesus, the Son of God.

She was a teenage girl just like teenage girls here. Hopes and dreams. Ideas of what marriage woudl be like, what her family would look like with children. How many dates they woudl go on.

And she didn’t have alarge pool to choose from. No Christian eharmony or Jewish farmers only. So there wasn’t leaving Joseph and trying with someone else.

She had dreams of her husband. Strong but meek.

Bold—Yet humble. Fit—Not obsessed shirtless selfies

Decisive—Flexible. Big goals—Yet easy going.

Well groomed—But not soft. Feel safe—A little dangerous.

normal stuff right…dates on the bethlehem bridge at sunset

gonna get married in a nice place, get a dog not a cat becuase cats are from the devil…

Just like you have plans and dreams and desires… Then an angel shows up and says

Hey your giving brith to a son before you know a man, His name is going to be Jesus, and He is the son of God.

How did she respond to the angels first interaction with her?

verse 29 says she was troubled or in the CSB deeply troubled, and another way to say it is Confused and disturbed

Wait a minute, that wasn’t the plan. That’s not how this si supposed to go. Why woudl god change this on me? Why can’t it be the exact way I want it to be?

You could face some of the same feelings when you are trying for children but it’s not happening on your time table.

Maybe you have kids and thought you were done then riught before retirement God gives you a bonus child.

Major event: Comp downsizing—Haven’t slept. Relation issue.

Health Challenge—Dealing w/loss don’t accept.

Everyday: Kids fighting—Burned dinner—Crazy family coming

Drunk uncle embarrass—Late church—Friend canceled

When these things enter our life we get consumed with wanting to control the situations becuase we dont’ know the outcome.

When god works in your life and allows things to happen we often won’t know what the outcome will be. However, we know the one that controls the outcome.

This leaves us with a choice to make based on our understanding of God.

Will we choise to control or will we choose to surrender?

The mroe you try to be in control,the more you fear losing control, the more you want ot be in control and the less you are willing to surrender.

You don’t always have the power to control but you always have the power to choose. To choose to surrender.

Mary didn’t know that 30+ years later her son would die the way He did. it doesn’t matter if He was the Son of God, Savior of the World, to that woman, that was her child, her baby boy and He was being publicaly humilated, tortued, and executed for no reason.

She didn’t know what was coming but she knew the one in control.

Let it be to me as you have said God.

She probably did what we all do. Mind flashes forwad to worst case scenarios when we are surprised.

Wedding is cancelled, Joseph is going to call it off, photographer depost won’t be reutnred.

You have a cough and google it and then you have a lung disease.

You get a text, this one is me, someone says, ‘Hey I want to talk withy ou do you have time doay?” And you prepare yourself to hear how much they hate you.

We all do this in one capacity or another.

I spoke with a guy the other day who was in a istuation where his wife called and said “I just did the worst thing I could have done.” Now I don’t know wehre your mind goes on that but I”m thinking “Are we getting divorced? Do I need to help hide a body?”

In this situation she had driven in some grass and got their van stuck…

We think of the worst case first. how quickly do you move from there to “Let it be according to your word God?”

The sooner you can do that the sooner you will move from control to surrender.

We can’t surrender if we don’t trust though. We can’t surrender if we don’t have faith.

You desire to control is rooted in a lack of faith and underestimation of God’s goodness.

Remmeber you don’t have the power to control but you always have the power to surrender.

Funyn enough the one thing you ca always control is your surrender. And you can’t be partially surrendered.

God I’m 87% surrendered to you. Salvation of my soul, surrenderd. How I conduct myself as a spouse or parent? Not so much. How I run my business? never. My finances…nope.

The relationships with people around me? my way.

And it’s no surpose. Our culture is all about you. it’s all about what you want, what you desire. It’s entirely contrary to the gospel.

You control your destiny, you make it happen…you make your life what you want it to be

Jesus said the opposite

John 12:25 “25 He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal.”

following Jesus isn’t just about trusting Him for your salvation, it’s about surrendering control to Him.

and that is a daily choice you will have to make. Last week we talked about going back to God daily with our worry. here we are again.

Starting our days off with prayers of o “God, let my life be today as you say it should be according to your word.”

Resolution-Find Peace in surrender

Imagine Mary’s life after Christ.

Flee to Egypt…not on the agenda…

Lose Jesus in Jerusalem, not on the agenda.

She had surrendered herself to the Lord.

And Jesus gave that example in the garden “Father not my will but your will be done. He and Mary had found peace in their surrender.

We do so much to maintain the illusion of control. We get so stressed and upset when what we try to control doesn’t work out..

like wheny ou want ot control someone for their betterment and they woin’t listen to you.

Can I be honest with you real quick? I have to accept some things as a pastor. I have to accept I can’t control your response to my messages. I have to accept I can’t control how you live your lives. Even when i see choices made that hurt my heart. When I’m aware of situations that I can’t even speak into because my counsel wont’ be heeded.

I ahve to surrender you and your response to the Holy Spirit. You’ll be in much better care in His hands than mine.

And responding to Him is much better than responding to me.

Surrender to his Word not mine. Surrender to His truth not mine.

Surrender ot His ways not mine.

You may be setting here asking how? How can I do that?

Impact: Negative: control freak, stressed, anxious, no good for anyone. Positive: steward, loving, relaxed, and excited about what God will bring

it starts with recognizign there is a God and he loves you. He sent His Son Jesus to die for you and on the third day He rose again.

And by relinquishing control or your eternal state to Him by faith in Him, you can know for usre you are going to Heaven. You won’t have ot work for it .Wont have ot do more good works. You wont’ have to go to church mroe, although you should, but you don’t ahve to.

NOne of those things save you. It’s by faith.

Eph 2;8-9

And wehny ou are a follower of Jesus you can surrender. Surrender the fight. Surrender the control. and willfully succumb to His loving goodness and grace.

You can decide to not surrender. You can put the team on your back and carry the load, you can try to control every one and everything around you, you can continued to be stressed and anxious becuase thigns aren’t going your way if you want to.

Many of you this mornign are making the wise choide. You have already identified in your heart areas of contorl you need to give up. You have said “I’m nott going to let my controlling flesh keep me from being loving and relaxed.” I’m going to embrace surrender to the Holy Spirit and live a faithful and fulfilled lived following Jesus.

Time of Response