A New Leaf for a New Year

Philemon 8–21 ESV

Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus— I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord. So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ. Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say.

Introduction: A son called his parents to wish them a happy new year. When his dad answered the phone, He asked, “Dad, what’s your new year’s resolution?” His dad replied, "To make your mother as happy as I can all year," When his mom got on the phone he asked her the same question. His mom replied, “My resolution is too see that your dad keeps his New Year’s resolution."

Have you made any New Year’s resolutions? Who is going to keep you accountable? Resolutions are always about starting fresh and making yourself a better person which is so much better than continuing to be a bitter person.

There are lots of resolutions to choose from…losing weight and stopping smoking are 2 of the most popular.

What if we resolved to let go of our past hurts and pain and move forward by forgiving those who have wronged us? I think that would be a great way to turn over a new leaf in the New Year.

The story of Philemon and Onesimus is a story of letting go of past hurts – of forgiveness and restoration.

All of us need a fresh start with God and our fellow man from time to time. Let’s look at this passage and see what we should do to turn over a new leaf in the new year.

ACT RIGHT EVEN IF YOU HAVE BEEN WRONGED (vv. 11, 18)

Onesimus was an escaped slave who had fled to Rome possibly hoping to get lost among the many faces of that busy city. Apparently, he must have taken something valuable from his Master Philemon. (If you take Paul’s statement in v. 18 to account.)

Slavery was a reality in the time of Jesus. Some have questioned the Bible and the NT writers because they never came out and condemned slavery outright.

However, the Bible does not focus so much directly on the ills of society, but upon the illness of the human heart called sin. If a man’s heart gets right, then their actions will follow.

Some people became slaves because they were captured in a time of war.

Some people sold themselves into slavery because of indebtedness or because they could have a higher standard of living as a slave than if they struggled to live on their own.

For the most part, slaves in the NT time were treated well. There were no real laws concerning the treatment of slaves, but pragmatically, their masters usually took good care of them.

Paul by no means is endorsing the practice of slavery here but is rather intervening in a situation between Philemon and one of his slaves.

Because of what he had done, Onesimus caused his master a great deal of grief and anguish as well as a cost him a good sum of money. (The average value of a slave costed as much as 500 denarii) Philemon had been wronged.

How many of us have been wronged by someone that we once trusted?

If you haven’t yet, get ready because it will happen one day and it will be painful.

It is an inescapable fact of life and one of the most painful things most people will experience.

When you are wronged, you must know how to react. If you react as the world teaches, then you jeopardize your testimony.

If you react as the Bible teaches, you glorify God and point men to a Savior who can make a difference in their lives.

I’m reminded of what Jesus said in Matthew 5:38-45

Matthew 5:38–45 ESV

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you. “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

Paul is writing to Philemon to encourage him to act right in the face of a wrong.

Illus. A pastor arranged for a gathering of the women’s auxiliary. It was to be a garden party on the church lawn, under the old oak. At the last moment, the morning of the party, the preacher discovered he left Sister Hissyfit off the invitation list. The pastor called and begged forgiveness. “I’m so sorry we didn’t catch this sooner, Mrs. Hissyfit, won’t you please come to the garden party, asked the pastor?” Beggin’ won’t help now, preacher, said the offended Mrs. Hissfit, I’ve already prayed for rain.(Source unknown - Lou Nicholes, Missionary/Author)

FORGIVE, EVEN IF FORGIVENESS IS UNDESERVED (vv. 10-12)

Illus. Every man should have a fair-sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friends. ~ Henry Ward Beecher

was now going to make the case as to why Philemon should forgive Onesimus.

Onesimus was no longer the same person he was when he fled from Philemon – Paul called him, “my child.”

In other words, somehow, God had brought Onesimus and Paul together and Paul had led him to Christ.

Onesimus was now a believer.

Onesimus, in his conversion had become useful to Paul and therefore he would be useful to Philemon once again. Essentially, he had turned his life around for the better.

The name Onesimus actually means, “Useful.”

Paul is now sending Onesimus back with his personal endorsement and the letter that he penned with his own hand urging Philemon to forgive Onesimus.

No, he didn’t deserve it, but Paul appeals to Philemon out of love to be gracious and forgiving.

Sometimes you may feel as if those who have wronged you don’t deserve to be forgiven. But for Christ’s sake and your own sake, forgive them anyway.

Illus. Harboring unforgiveness and resentment in your heart is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Matthew 6:14–15 ESV

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Illus.: Here is a sound theology of forgiveness from pastor John MacArthur: “Whoever has offended you has offended God greater. And if God, the most holy, has forgiven him the greater sin, can you, the least holy, forgive him the lesser sin?

RECONCILE WHEN RECONCILIATION IS POSSIBLE (vv. 15-17)

Paul wanted to persuade Philemon that he needed to reconcile with Onesimus and he put forth a rather interesting argument.

First of all, Paul saw God’s hand in the situation explaining that, perhaps the reason why Onesimus ran away was a part of God’s plan.

Paul would have never met Onesimus and had the opportunity to lead him to Christ.

Second of all, He pointed out the fact – they were now brothers in Christ because of Onesimus’ conversion. They were equals in Christ.

Onesimus had experienced the same reconciliation in Christ that Philemon had and therefore deserved a second chance.

If we are no longer enemies with God because of what Christ has done, then how can we remain enemies with those who have also been reconciled with Christ?

Reconciliation is hard. It is not natural. In fact, it is supernatural because only God can help us reconcile with others. But in Christ, reconciliation is possible.

Caveat – Just because we reconcile with others, it does not mean our relationship with them is going to be the same. In fact, sometimes we cannot put ourselves in a position where we will be hurt again. Sometimes it is only possible to put aside our enmity toward others.

Illustrations: A young boy in Korea was a houseboy for some American soldiers. They thought it was funny to play harmless jokes on him. They would tease him. They would tie his shoe strings together. They would lock him out of the house. Eventually they realized that their practical jokes were not viewed as funny by the boy so they apologized. He said, “That’s okay, I will stop spitting in your soup now.” Sometimes, that is the best we can hope for – that someone will stop spitting in our soup.

REMEMBER TO LOVE ALWAYS BECAUSE LOVE HAS PAID A PRICE (vv. 17-19)

Here is the strongest part of Paul’s argument: “If you consider me your partner…” – your koinonos – Your companion in the faith, -- “receive him as you would me”…AND… “if he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account.”

Paul’s love for Onesimus – his child in the faith – was such that he was willing to repay the costs of anything that Onesimus had taken from Philemon. “Charge that to my account.” That my friends is a blank check.

Paul understood that love pays a price.

Love paid a price for you and me. That price was the cross. Therefore, if love paid a price then we owe it to others to love them, regardless.

Onesimus looked to Paul for help in reconciling with Philemon. Paul interceded for Onesimus and said to Philemon, whatever he owes, put it on my account.

Martin Luther said, “We are all Onesimus.” We were estranged from our master. We ran away from him, owing him a great debt that we could not repay. But then we met Jesus and he changed our heart. He interceded for us. He says to the Father, “If Darrel owes anything, put that on my account.” Forgiveness and reconciliation is ours because love paid the price. But like Onesimus, we must be willing to return to the Master and make things right.

Paul’s willingness to act as a go between for Onesimus and Philemon is a beautiful picture of what Christ did for us on the cross.

The heart of the gospel is reconciliation. We have offended a holy God and need to be reconciled. Jesus stepped in to the gap and paid the ultimate price, “laying down his life for his friends.” Paul didn’t owe anything and Jesus didn’t owe anything. Yet, they both say, put it on my account.

The cross allows us to pass from the slavery of sin into the family of God. We have a new relationship with the Father. Closing: When the first missionaries came to Alberta, Canada, they were savagely opposed by a young chief of the Cree Indians named Maskepetoon. But he responded to the gospel and accepted Christ.

Shortly afterward, a member of the Blackfoot tribe killed his father. Maskepetoon rode into the village where the murderer lived and demanded that he be brought before him. Confronting the guilty man, he said,

"You have killed my father, so now you must be my father. You shall ride my best horse and wear my best clothes."

In utter amazement and remorse his enemy exclaimed, “My son, now you have killed me!"

He meant, of course, that the hate in his own heart had been completely erased by the forgiveness and kindness of the Indian chief. ~ Today in the Word, Moody Bible Institute