1 Corinthians 7:1-9 - The Goodness of Marriage

Good morning,

If you have your Bibles let me invite you to open with me to the book of 1 Corinthians chapter 7.

We have been journeying through 1 Corinthians since August, with a short break for Advent, and now we are picking back up with 1 Corinthians chapter 7.

Chapter 7 marks a significant transition in the flow of Paul’s letter.

By way of introduction glance at verse 1 with me.

1 Corinthians 7:1 (ESV)

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote…

This phrase, “now concerning” marks the significant transition…

Thus far, Paul has been addressing issues within the church that have been reported to him about the Corinthian Church.

1 Corinthians 1:11 ESV

For it has been reported to me by Chloe’s people that there is quarreling among you, my brothers.

1 Corinthians 5:1 ESV

It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife.

Paul has first taken up the matters that the Corinthians were not coming to him about

He has thus far addressed what they were keeping from him.

But now, that those are out of the way, he turns more particularly to matters that the Corinthians have corresponded with him about through written letters.

This phrase, “now concerning” becomes a transitional phrase that he uses as he moves from one issue to the next.

1 Corinthians 7:25 (ESV)

Now concerning the betrothed,

1 Corinthians 8:1 (ESV)

Now concerning food offered to idols…

1 Corinthians 12:1 ESV

Now concerning spiritual gifts, brothers, I do not want you to be uninformed.

So there are three broad categories that Paul will take up from chapter 7 through chapter 14.

Here is a little prequel to the coming weeks.

Chapter 7 addresses questions related to marriage, sex, and singleness.

Chapters 8-11 address matters related to idolatry.

And chapters 12-14 address matters related to the use of spiritual gifts in the church.

But this morning and for the next three weeks, Lord willing, we will turn our attention to chapter 7 which emphasizes matters of marriage, sex, and singleness.

So lets read our text for this morning, and lets pray for understanding.

1 Corinthians 7:1–9 ESV

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Lets Pray.

1 Corinthians 7:1 ESV

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”

Like we have seen already in 1 Corinthians, Paul first takes up a quotation.

He quotes what the Corinthians have said, and he confronts and corrects their assumptions in the quotation.

Paul has already addressed a faction within the church that has promoted a kind of total sexual freedom.

That group in the church taught that we are free to be sexually active with whoever we want, because of our forgiveness in Christ.

Paul addressed them very firmly and very clearly in chapter 6.

1 Corinthians 6:13 (ESV)

…. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

But, there seems now to be another faction within the church embracing a different kind of faulty Greek philosophy.

This philosophy was a kind of dualism which pitted anything physical against that which is spiritual.

This particular theological sect, would teach that the less physical satisfaction you enjoy, the more spiritual you really Are.

Such a way of thinking would lead to things like asceticism where monks would separate themselves from any worldly pleasure to achieve some sort of spiritual ideal.

And some within the Corinthian church, influenced by this kind of dualistic thinking, were making the argument that it is more spiritually advantageous to abstain from sexual relations with one another Even within Christian marriages.

Thus the statement that they wrote to Paul: “It is good for a man NOT to have sexual relations with a woman.”

They are arguing that total abstinence from sexual pleasure is the most spiritual way of life even in the context of marriage.

And everything that follows is Paul saying, NO that is not the Christian position.

So first I want to address that one sort of overarching truth about pleasure and enjoyment as a Christian, and then we are going to look at four truths about marriage particularly.

Truth #1 The Christian Life is Not a Life Without Enjoyment of God’s Good Gifts

Christianity does not teach that we deny ourselves of any and every physical pleasure or joy.

No, Christianity, rather teachers that God’s design for our lives is that our supreme joy is in our relationship with him.

Christianity teaches that there is a context within the will of God where we get to enjoy God’s world in our worship of God.

Paul has just given this command at the end of chapter 6.

1 Corinthians 6:20 ESV

for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Does glorify God in my body mean forego any enjoyment in this world for the glory of God?

or is there a way to glorify God even in the way we enjoy good gifts within creation?

Can I enjoy God in a good cup of coffee or a beautiful day at the beach?

Later Paul will say these words in chapter 10.

1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

There is a way to enjoy good food, a beautiful sunset, a cool Christmas present, and a quiet evening with a good book for the glory of God.

AND, there is a way to enjoy sexual intimacy for the glory of God.

Sexual sin outside of God’s design feels good for a moment but it is sinful,

it is self-destructive to the body and soul.

Sexual intimacy within God’s design, however, is meant to be physically, emotionally, and even spiritually good for you and glorifying to God.

In Verses 2-5 Paul argues that God-honoring physical intimacy as a God-honoring context… that is marriage.

Marriage is a gift to humanity and it’s the only context where such physical enjoyment is actually good for the soul.

So let’s turn our attention to Marriage itself.

Keep in mind, Paul does not aim to say everything there is to say about Marriage Here.

The context is about sexual sin totally embraced by one group in chapter 6, and now sexual intimacy being totally abandoned by another in chapter 7:1.

Now Paul’s response in verse 2.

1 Corinthians 7:2 ESV

2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

Truth #2 Marriage is a Good Gift of God (v.2)

Paul says “each man SHOULD have his own wife”

And each woman SHOULD have her own husband.

Now he is going to say a lot more then this in the coming verses about the gift of singleness and its goodness as well, but for now… he addresses marriage.

Marriage should be pursued.

It is good.

And at least one of the reasons that it is good, not the only reason, and not even the primary reason, is that it is God’s ordained context for sexual intimacy to be enjoyed.

Marriage is Good.

It is Good to pursue marriage.

It is good to be physically intimate with a spouse.

lets continue.

1 Corinthians 7:3 ESV

3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.

Now that is an interesting sentence.

I am just guessing, that you do not have this verse as decorative wall art that you got from Hobby Lobby.

Or maybe after this sermon you will consider it.

Let me read it again in another translation.

1 Corinthians 7:3 CSB

“A husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband.”

The language feel strange to us. It is contractual Language.

We would never use the language of what we are owed in the marriage relationship.

This sounds like rigid conditions for a weird sexual contract.

Listen to these words from commentator Paul Gardner..,

he writes.

“Though some have found this idea of a “debt” in marriage to be strange, it reminds the reader that biblical marriage has always contained covenantal ideas that involve contractual responsibilities and duties. Right from the creation story in which a man and a woman make a public statement of moving away from parents to be together (in marriage), the contract has involved sexual relations: “And they shall become one flesh” (Gen 2:24). The “duty” involved here in no way implies a lack of love or lack of (sexual) desire on the part of either party. It is simply a part of what marriage is. In this context in which some have been saying that it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman, Paul is demonstrating that, in marriage, this would be a breach of the covenantal obligations of the relationship” - Paul Gardner, Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament

Here’s the point

Truth #3 Marriage is a Covenant of Oneness

The physical intimacy of marriage is a physical symbol of a spiritual, emotional, relational reality.

By virtue of a man’s covenant promises to his wife,

and a woman’s covenant promises to her husband…

they are, according to God’s design, to be united in an inseparable way of relational love… and this is good.

The physical act of sexual intimacy between a husband and wife functions like the covenant renewal ceremony in their life. Sex does not make them married, it reminds them that they are married.

It reminds both him and her that they are covenantally connected to one another and to no one else.

Baptism for us is very much like the wedding ceremony and ring for Christians. It’s the day we publicly celebrate our oneness with God. We do it only once as the first step of our new relationship with Christ.

The Lord’s Supper is different… it is the ceremony that we do over and over again to remember and redirect our eyes to the oneness we share with Christ.

Sexual intimacy in the context of marriage functions this way. It is like the physical reminder of spiritual covenant promises. The physical reminder of God’s design for our total oneness.

It is more than a physical transaction…

It is a mutual spiritual responsibility

that husbands have to their wives and wives have to their husbands… and it is a good responsibility.

If this physical aspect of oneness in your marriage disappears…,

it is likely that the relational, emotional and the spiritual oneness is absent as well.

One of the striking things about this passage, especially in an ancient Roman context,… is that this oneness is the responsibility of both husband and wife.

Look at the next verse.

1 Corinthians 7:4 ESV

4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Again, probably not a verse for your Christian coffee mug.

At first glance, even the language of authority over someone else’s body sounds almost barbaric, but do not miss the mutual self-giving nature of this verse.

The wife gives her very self to her husband.

The husband gives his very self to his wife.

Truth #4 Marriage is a Self-Giving Relationship

In marriage, spouses submit their rights and their authority and their self rule and they lovingly give themselves to the other for the good and enjoyment of their spouse.

The emphasis is on the selflessness of both parties to give of themselves…

The emphasis is NOT on the selfishness of one party to take from the other.

This verse is remarkably consensual and mutual And selfless.

In fact, it would have been shockingly so to a Roman partriarchal society.

In 1st century Rome, it would be assumed that the man rule over the woman…., but this text teaches that the man is to give himself to the authority of woman. She has an ownership over him, a rule over him, as well.

There is mutual self-giving about marriage… a mutual sacrifice of self-rule in marriage…

And though Paul doesn’t go there in this text…, this is why God is so uniquely glorified in marriage.

The covenant relationship of self-giving love in marriage is the clearest earthly reflection… of the good news of Jesus we have been saved by,

It reflects the very thing Jesus did for us…

He gave his own body for our eternal good, and he made a covenant with us that he will be one with us forever and ever…, not even at death will we part from Christ.

He sacrificed his self…. ,for the salvation of his bride… the church.

Thus marriage, and even the selflessness and self giving of physical intimacy within marriage, is both for our good and it is for the glorious reflection of the Christian gospel.

Ephesians 5:31–32 ESV

31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

Glorifying Christ is the primary work of any and every Christian marriage.

There is a phenomanon of spiritual warfare that happens when it comes to physical intimacy in marriage.

When you are not married, Satan does anything and everything he can to get you to participate in sexual activity.

He wants you to seek the pleasure of it outside of the covenant relationship. He wants you to distort, corrupt, and twist the good gift into something that is self-serving, selfish, and self-destructive.

And then he changes gears when you get married. I often warn young engaged couples of this in their pre-marital counseling.

You may be struggling now to abstain from intimacy while your outside of the covenant promises to each other… but once you enter into that covenant…, the new plan of the enemy will be to keep you from being intimate with one another, he will do anything and everything he can to destroy your oneness, physical, emotional, and spiritual.

In fact, Paul recognizes this and says the only reason, that husbands and wives should refrain from sexual intimacy is when they have set aside a concentrated season of prayer.

look at verse 5.

1 Corinthians 7:5 ESV

5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Again notice the mutual agreement.

But particularly notice the priority that a married couple pursue together.

They are primarily pursuing together a holy life, a devoted life, a life with God at the center.

Truth #5 Marriage is Spiritual Team Work

Verse 5 acknowledges that one of the battle fields for intense spiritual warfare…. Will be the battle field of marriages in the church.

Satan and all his demonic forces will not be passive in the marriages represented in this room.

He is active.

He is seeking whom he may devour.

He is especially interested in destroying the covenant of marriage, which is supposed to display the oneness we share with Christ.

If you do not view your marriage as an aspect of your spiritual war as a Christian, take heed of this warning this morning.

There is a reason that the famous marriage text in Ephesians 5 is quickly followed up with these words.

Ephesians 6:10–12 ESV

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Here in first Corinthians 7, Paul envisions marriage relationships to function as a partnership between two people engaged in this spiritual war we call the Christian life.

They come to an agreement to seek God together in intense prayer.

They come to an agreement to come together again after their season of focus and devotion.

What a picture of a spiritual marriage this is.

There is physical oneness here yes… but there is an assumption of spiritual oneness.

Spiritual co-laboring.

Spiritual encouragement.

Truth #5 Marriage is Spiritual Team Work

Many of you should be convicted by that. You should be convicted by the lack of spiritual talk, spiritual conversation, spiritual mutual edification, that happens in your marriages.

You should be convicted of the selfishness that has led to the lack of physical intimacy in your marriage.

and you should repent, you should plead with God to help you pursue these things with your spouse.

But I also recognize that there are other distinct groups in this room that are asking themselves… what in the world do I do with this sermon…

It does not apply to me.

Many of you find yourselves in a difficult marriage where spiritual team-work is impossible.

Perhaps you are married to an unbeliever, and this text becomes for you a frustrating testimony to the fact that all is not well in your marriage.

Do not be discouraged,

do not be dismayed,

God is in the business of restoring what is broken.

He is in the business of using the seemingly impossible situations for our good and his glory.

There has never been a worse and hopeless relationship then the relationship between God and man.…

“but God being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ..”

When we were sinners and enemies of God, he loved us through ultimate sacrifice, took our shame, and guilt, and sin, and death, on himself, and he rose again to restore our relationship with him.

He is in this business of relationship restoration…

And so, by grace through faith, you know what to do…

You embody selfless, sacrificial, love to your spouse.

None of these commands in 1 Corinthians 7 about intimacy are conditional to whether your spouse fulfills their end of the deal.

Paul doesn’t give exception clauses here.

In fact Peter, encourages the spouses of unbelievers to focus entirely on what they can do to model faithfulness to Christ in all things.

1 Peter 3:1–2 ESV

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

Paul will address the believer married to an unbeliever again next week.

Now, I recognize that there is a whole nother group in the room…

A group of the not yet married, but hopeful… and a group of not married, and perhaps never to be married.

Paul will speak more directly to you in the coming paragraphs as well, and we will address you more fully in the coming weeks…,

but look with me at verses 6-9 as we close and I will make just one point for the time being.

1 Corinthians 7:6–9 ESV

6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Truth #6 Marriage is Not Ultimate, Jesus Is

Paul says that he himself has a particular gift from God.

He has A spiritual gift of grace that is FROM God… that allows him to remain single, without burning with desire for marriage or for physical intimacy. As we will see, he is freed to focus wholly and entirely on the Lord.

He, then acknowledges, that some people are gifted in this way…, and some are not.

If you are gifted by God in such a way that you can remain as you are and give yourself wholly to the Lord, do it!

If you are not, then pursue marriage.

The point being,

God is sovereign over your giftedness. God is sovereign over your present life circumstance.

Whether in marriage, or in singleness, the God who is sovereign over you and your life is most ultimate.

Getting into a new Marriage will not complete you.

Getting out of the one you are in will not complete you.

Submitting yourself to the will of God, his gifts, and his direction is primary.

Marriage or singleness simply provides the way and the context in which you give yourself wholly to The Lord.

There is a sentence that we will come to again in three weeks, but I think it summarizes well what Paul is beginning to explain here.

Here is his aim for every teaching that we will explore about marriage and singleness over these three weeks.

1 Corinthians 7:35 ESV

35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

Marriage is Not Ultimate, but Jesus is.

All this is written to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

Lets recap:

The Christian Life is Not a Life Without Enjoyment of God’s Gifts

Marriage is a Good Gift

Marriage is a Covenant of Oneness

Marriage is a Self-Giving Relationship

Marriage is Spiritual Team Work

Marriage is Not Ultimate, Jesus Is

One day marriage will make more sense to us.

All of our laboring in this world.

All this waiting in this world.

It’s all leading up to a cosmic wedding day.

We are all betrothed right now, waiting for a forever union.

A day where we, the church, will walk the aisle and the veil will be lifted and we will see our God face to face.

We will see the one who gave himself fully for us… and who has made covenant promises to us.

There will be feasting, and celebrating, and laughing, and singing, and there will be worship, sweet lasting, untainted, undistracted worship.

Revelation 19:6–9 ESV

6 Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out, “Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. 7 Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; 8 it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. 9 And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.”

Lets pray for marriages in our church to reflect this.

Let’s pray for every person in our church to live in full confidence that this future day is ultimate… and that it will be worth

every sacrifice,

every hour of loneliness,

every battle with sin,

every earthly idolatry destroyed.

This future wedding day will undo and overwhelm all that was broken, all that was longed for, all that was endured.

When John saw the beauty of it all in his vision, overwhelmed with emotion, he fell down and started to worship the angel…

and the Angel gives this course correction we would do well to heed this morning.

Revelation 19:10 ESV

10 Then I fell down at his feet to worship him, but he said to me, “You must not do that! I am a fellow servant with you and your brothers who hold to the testimony of Jesus. Worship God.” For the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.

Let’s worship God.

Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.

The angel wasn’t ultimate.

The vision wasn’t ultimate.

Marriage isn’t ultimate. Jesus and our forever future with him is.

Lets Pray.