Men's Bible Study

WISDOM for 2024

What is the difference between asking “is this the right thing to do?” versus “is this the wise thing to do?”

There is a man named Daryl Davis who is a blues musician in Chicago.

Normally this would not be important, but for this story it is, Daryl is black.

Over his 30+ year career as a musician, Daryl has also worked to sway white supremacists; namely, the KKK to turn from their racism.

To date, over 200 men have turned from their racism because of conversations they have had with Daryl.

He is also the first african american to have a book and a documentary around his interviews with white supremacists.

Now if you’re like me, you are wondering how he did that.

He says that he tries not to talk, his number one goal is just to listen to those that hate him.

When he does talk, he likes to ask one simple, wise question.

“How can you hate me when you don’t even know me.”

I think this is wisdom in action.

What an incredible, smart question.

But even more than just smart, it’s wise.

A question for us today as we begin 2024 is

Do you crave, do you desire wisdom?

The wisdom in Daryl’s question that he asks is that his question takes people who would rather be distant from him and it draws them close to him.

I think that’s the essence of what Wisdom does.

Wisdom draws us close to a deeper conversation, a deeper relationship, a deeper thought.

Especially as men, dad’s, leaders, I think this is valuable, important, and should be a priority.

I think Solomon challenges us with that right from the beginning of Proverbs too.

Proverbs 1:1–3 “1 The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel: 2 for gaining wisdom and instruction; for understanding words of insight; 3 for receiving instruction in prudent behavior, doing what is right and just and fair;”

In other words, the purpose of the book of Proverbs is this:

To gain wisdom and instruction

To understand words of insight

For receiving instruction in prudent behavior

To do what is right and just and fair.

I talked about this with the teenagers on Sunday and I asked them.

Is it Easy to do any of those 4 things?

Is it easy to gain wisdom and instruction?

Is it easy to understand words of insight?

Is it easy to receive instruction, especially when it’s about our own behavior?

Is it easy to do what is right, just, and fair?

The answer to all of these is certainly no.

None are easy.

But that’s what makes them valuable.

Nothing worth having is easy to get.

Regarding my first question I asked then.

I will ask you to note this and we can discuss in a moment.

1. What is the difference then between doing what is right versus doing what is wise?

I would argue doing what is right is important, but sometimes surface level.

Doing what is wise draws us into a deeper relationship, decision, or thought.

Here is one example:

As men, is it right for me to come home at night and spend an hour with my kids?

Yes.

Is it wise to come home and spend an hour with my kids, yet I’m still distracted by the circumstances of the day?

Maybe I’m with my kids, but I still have my phone present.

Maybe I’m with my kids, but my thoughts are drifting to other matters.

Perhaps a better question is not simply, is it right for me to spend time with my kids when I get home… Of course that’s the right thing to do.

However, How will I spend that time? That is wisdom.

Will I discipline myself and prepare myself to set distractions aside and be present in the moment for them?

This leads me to my second question:

2. How do I need to align my priorities to lead my family this year? What do I need to say no to? What do I need to say yes to?

Solomon’s 3rd point in Proverbs 1:3 “3 for receiving instruction in prudent behavior, doing what is right and just and fair;”

Is asking this, Are we foreward thinking (Prudent behavior).

I don’t know about y’all, but December for my family is always exhausting.

I’m always looking to say no as much as possible because I know how many things are going to take up the calendar for my family.

My question here for all of us is this.

As men, we are the gatekeepers of our family. I think it’s our responsibility to pay attention to what our wives need and what our kids need.

As part of that, we need to be prudent and intentional in what we say yes to.

We probably need to say no far more. I know we do.

Saying yes may be a “right” thing, but not a “wise” thing.

I would challenge you this year to slowly read Proverbs 1:1-3 again and pray about leading your family this year.

3. Lastly this morning, Why is wisdom so important?

As we seek Jesus, God gives us the wisdom we need.

Read this with me.

Proverbs 2:1-12

Proverbs 2:1–12 NIV

1 My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, 2 turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding— 3 indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, 4 and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, 5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. 6 For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. 7 He holds success in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, 8 for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. 9 Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path. 10 For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. 11 Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you. 12 Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse,

This is my final challenge to us this year as I challenge the teens often.

The most important thing in your life is your walk with Christ.

Don’t neglect that.

Prioritize that above all else.

As Proverbs 2 tells us, as we seek the Lord, “ You will understand what is right, and just, and fair — every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.”

That’s verses 9 and 10.

As we seek Jesus, I’d also like to challege you to slow down this year.

I’ll be honest with you, I think the men’s retreat challenged all of us to slow down, but as I evaluate my own life, I’m not sure I’ve done a good job at that.

As a culture, we need thoughtful men, slow to speak, slow to think, eager to walk through life with our kids, not run.

Our kids don’t need us to streamline anything else or make something else more efficient.

They just need us to slowly give them our time.

Our wives need us to slowly give them our time.

TO be present in the moment.

So here’s the questions to discuss:

What is the wise thing for you to do in 2024?

How do I need to align my priorities to lead my family well this year?

How has your life changed since the men’s retreat? Have you changed how you approach the busyness in your life?