1 Corinthians 7:1-5

********** Start Timer **********

-If you would, please turn to 1 Corinthians 7.

We’re going to be looking (primarily) at Verses 1-5.

-It’s been a while since we were in this study.

So, let me remind you of where all we’ve been...

…while you’re finding the passage.

-We first talked about the necessity of the Fear of the Lord.

Then we spent several sermons...

…looking at the foundations of marriage in Genesis 1-3.

Then we looked at many distortions of God’s Design for marriage...

…that we saw occuring in the era of the OT:

Polygamy

Adultery and Divorce

Homosexuality

Sterility and Infertility

Dilution of Gender Distinctions

Then we finished our OT survey...

…by examining some of the Marriages that we see there...

…and gleaning insights from them...

…both positive and negative.

-Then we made our jump to the New Testament.

But we haven’t made it very far.

We looked, first, at Jesus’ High View of Marriage...

…in the synoptic Gospel accounts.

And, spent a couple of weeks looking at 1 Peter 3:1-7.

-And, this evening...

(Following the general outline of our book)

We’ve come to this text in 1 Corinthians 7.

And let me say a few things about it...

…before we even read it.

I know it’s awkward and explicit.

I’m nervous about that too.

But, it’s God’s Word.

And as such, we need to hear it preached and taught.

Right?

2. This may be quite convicting and contentious for some of you.

In fact, I think it’s going to cut both ways...

...more than some of us men may think.

But again, it is the Word of God...

…and provided it is rightly interpreted and understood...

…we must receive it with open arms.

Right?

3. This whole chapter is full of qualified commands...

…and we’ll look at some of it..

But our time is limited...

So, I’m Going to focus primarily on expounding...

…those first 5 verses...

…because they’re the most poignant.

Alright, let’s read them together.

1 Corinthians 7:1–5 (ESV)

1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”

2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.

4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Click Off

Pray

-Before we jump in to verse 1...

…notice how the previous chapter had ended.

Paul is making a transition, here...

…but he appears to making a thematic connection...

…in doing so.

He had just been warning about...

…the dangers of sexual sin.

1 Corinthians 6:18–20 (ESV)

18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,

20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Click Off

And it seems as though… under divine inspiration...

Paul see’s this as a good opportunity...

…to address something related to this...

…that the church had asked him to address:

The issue of Sexual intimacy...

…within the Christian marriage.

We can see that in the opening words:

1 Corinthians 7:1 (ESV)

1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: . . .

-Paul had already been correcting things...

…that he had heard of by way of report:

Division

Sectarianism

The rejection of his Apostleship

Sexual Immorality.

But now, he appears to begin...

…responding to multiple questions...

…that the church had sent to him.

Let me show you what I mean:

1 Corinthians 7:25 (ESV)

25 Now concerning the betrothed...

1 Corinthians 8:1 (ESV)

1 Now concerning food offered to idols: . . .

1 Corinthians 12:1 (ESV)

1 Now concerning spiritual gifts...

1 Corinthians 16:1 (ESV)

1 Now concerning the collection for the saints . . .

And as far as I can tell...

…what we have at the end of Verse 1...

…is the first of these direct replies.

-Now, if I’m understanding it right...

…this is what they wrote to him:

1 Corinthians 7:1 (ESV)

1 . . . “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”

(Literally: “not to touch a woman”)

(A euphemism for sexual relations)

-Now, some translations and interpreters...

…do see these as Paul’s first words of response...

…which he goes on to qualify extensively.

For a number of reasons...

…I lean hard the other way.

-First of all, given the nature of their culture...

…it would make perfect sense...

…that the Corinthians (as new converts to Christianity)...

…would either:

have such a question

have already formed such an erroneous conclusion.

Consider this explanation from the Layman’s Bible Commentary:

The Greek culture distorted scriptural teachings on marriage at both ends of the scale.

Those who practiced dualism believed that body and spirit were completely separate entities within a person.

In their way of thinking, nothing done to the body had a lasting spiritual effect, so why not engage in hedonism and sexual pleasure-seeking?

Paul had confronted this in the previous chapter

Another philosophy was asceticism, where the practitioner sought to purify his spirit by depriving his body of any pleasure—sexual or otherwise. — Layman’s Bible Commentary

Click Off

-You see, these incipient gnostic notions...

…would have collided head on with...

…Biblical notions of marriage and sexuality.

And that’s another reason why...

…I don’t think that statement at the end of Verse 1...

…Is Paul’s first response.

Because it would imply that Paul was saying...

Yes! Celibacy is what God prefers...

But, because y’all can’t control yourselves...

Just go ahead!

-Also, let’s remember what we have seen so far...

About God’s design

About God’s plan

…and I think you’ll see why...

…I think that it would be problematic:

Remember:

Genesis 1:28 (ESV)

28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth...

Before the Fall

God’s blessed their procreation.

-Later, while Adam was still single and celibate...

Genesis 2:18 (ESV)

18 . . . the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

To help him do what?

Genesis 1:28 (ESV)

28 … “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it . . .”

How are they going to do that?

Then, in the very command that...

…created the institution of marriage, we read:

Genesis 2:24 (ESV)

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 2:25 (ESV)

25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

There was nothing impure or taboo...

…about their marital intimacy.

It was:

Designed by God

Commanded by God

Provided for by God.

-Did the fall change God’s blessing upon it?

Genesis 9:7 (ESV)

7 And you, be fruitful and multiply, increase greatly on the earth and multiply in it.”

There’s only one way that happens!

Guys, the Old Testament repeatedly...

…paints successful procreation...

…as an indicator of God’s blessing!

There are many… but we all love this one:

Psalm 127:3 (ESV)

3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

Psalm 127:5 (ESV)

5 Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! . . .

-The rest of the NT is equally emphatic:

Hebrews 13:4 (ESV)

4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

-In fact, Paul himself would later warn:

1 Timothy 4:1–3 (ESV)

1 Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons...

3 who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth.

And if that wasn’t persuasive enough...

In Ephesians 5, Paul says this about the Marriage Union:

Ephesians 5:31–32 (ESV)

31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

Click Off

-It’s hard to exalt it any higher than that!

-So, I don’t think Paul’s point here, is...

Celibacy and Monasticism is most spiritual

But marriage is okay if you absolutely have to.

Rather, something like...

You’re right to say sexual immorality is wrong...

But you’re wrong to say all sexual intimacy is wrong.

In fact… for many… it is essential.

-Look at Verse 2.

And remember that...

…Paul isn’t writing a systematic treatise on marriage...

He’s responding to specific questions.

1 Corinthians 7:2 (ESV)

2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

That whole phrase: “temptation to sexual immorality” . . .

…is one word in the original:

Porneia

It’s a categorical word, that can describe...

…a wide range of sexual sins...

from incest

to adultery

to prostitution

You can pick up on that broadness...

...in the way the NASB translates it:

1 Corinthians 7:2 (NASB95)

2 But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.

In other words:

You’re right to worry about Porneia in the Christian Life

It’s a great danger.

But because it’s so dangerous and destructive...

You’d better NOT try to be celibate...

Unless that’s something God has specifically called you to.

I add that qualifier for a few reasons:

What Jesus said before:

After he had warned about divorce...

Matthew 19:10–12 (ESV)

10 The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”

11 But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given.

12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”

Some, like Paul, were called to and gifted for...

…the devotion of singleness.

But, the overwhelming majority are not.

Paul says this later on:

1 Corinthians 7:6–7 (ESV)

6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.

7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

1 Corinthians 7:8 (ESV)

8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.

But he warns, even here:

1 Corinthians 7:9 (ESV)

9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Click Off

This isn’t for everybody.

The creation mandate wouldn’t get fulfilled if it was.

But it is for some...

And God will give them power to withstand the temptations.

But for most, God has graciously given...

…a means of healthy and holy expression...

…for their sexual desires:

The Marriage Union

The Marriage Bed.

This is Paul’s point in Verse 2.

-Now, notice a couple of particulars in the verse...

…before we move on:

Notice the language of MUTUAL ownership:

1 Corinthians 7:2 (ESV)

2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

The wife BELONGS to her husband

The husband BELONGS to his wife!

I imagine that this was RADICALLY counter-cultural.

Also, Notice the singularity:

Each man has one wife

Each woman has one husband.

This necessarily excludes:

Polygamy and Polyandry

Homosexuality of any kind.

It reflects the original creation design.

-Now, look at verse 3.

There, Paul narrows the explanation...

…by way of a command:

1 Corinthians 7:3 (ESV)

3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.

Now, the word that Paul uses in the Greek...

…which is translated “conjugal rights” in the ESV...

Is both interesting and forceful.

It means to fulfill an obligation...

…or to pay a debt that is owed.

The only other times that it’s used, is in:

Matthew 18:32 (ESV)

32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.

Romans 13:7 (ESV)

7 Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.

-I think a survey of different translations...

…helps us to better understand the sense:

1 Corinthians 7:3 (NASB95)

3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife...

1 Corinthians 7:3 (NKJV)

3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her...

1 Corinthians 7:3 (KJV)

3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence...

In other words, as Sproul says...

Sexual union is an expected part of marriage, not only a delight but also a debt owed to one’s wife or husband. — Sproul

Paul isn’t presenting this as an option...

…for EITHER partner in the marriage.

(Click Off)

-Now, we may snicker at this and say...

“Why would he even give men such a command”

“What man needs this corrective?”

Well, I would caution you against thinking like this...

…both biblically and practically.

We see from Scripture and everyday life...

That there are many sinful reasons...

…why a man would withhold sexual intimacy from his wife.

Think about it:

Because he’s bitter

Out of Anger

Withhold children (see that in scripture)

Demean her sense of self-worth

To make her feel jealous

Pride and ego

This isn’t a one sided problem.

-Now, if that wasn’t clear enough...

…look at what Paul says in Verse 4:

(There’s no “my body, my choice” in the Christian Marriage)

1 Corinthians 7:4 (ESV)

4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Now, if we had stopped with that first sentence...

…we could have come to some popular conclusions:

Wives are property

Sex in marriage is for the exclusive benefit of the man

Ergo, the marriage bed should be the man’s prerogative

But, that second sentence...

…turns that on its head:

Again, it shows a...

Mutual ownership

Mutual Onus

Mutual vested interest

Mutual blessing and benefit.

The Union is ONE flesh!

-Do you know what this is?

It’s remarkably simple.

It’s applying...

The second great commandment

The Golden Rule

…within the context of marital intimacy.

It’s putting the needs and pleasures of your spouse...

…ahead of your own...

And, it’s doing that constantly and consistently.

It’s really simple:

And guys, that also means that...

…the consideration goes the other way.

You shouldn’t demand your side of the conjugal rights...

…at the expense of your spouse’s suffering.

You ought to take into account...

…how it’s going to affect them too...

…and be considerate of that...

…before making any demands.

If you both put each other first...

…it’s going to be a beautiful thing.

-Now, my man, Paul...

…gives an important qualifier in Verse 5.

First, he doubles down on the command:

1 Corinthians 7:5 (ESV)

5 Do not deprive one another...

That word means to “keep something back by fraud!”

Now, watch:

1 Corinthians 7:5 (ESV)

5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer...

Notice several things, here:

1.) The great reluctance: “except,” “perhaps”

2.) It must be MUTUALLY agreed upon

3.) It must not continue on for an extended period of time.

4.) There’s a particularly transcendent reason for it:

This keys us in on a very important biblical principle:

Sometimes even good things...

Are rightly eclipsed by BETTER things.

Let me show you an illustration:

Exodus 19:10–11 (ESV)

10 the Lord said to Moses, “Go to the people and consecrate them today and tomorrow, and let them wash their garments

11 and be ready for the third day. For on the third day the Lord will come down on Mount Sinai in the sight of all the people.

Exodus 19:14–15 (ESV)

14 So Moses went down from the mountain to the people and consecrated the people; and they washed their garments.

15 And he said to the people, “Be ready for the third day; do not go near a woman.”

Why?

Is Celibacy more sacred? NO!

It’s because something more important...

…was taking place...

…And for a period of time...

…it required the setting aside...

Of all lesser things!

It’s the whole principle behind...

…the concept of the fast.

-Alright, let’s finish up.

Look at the last:

1 Corinthians 7:5 (ESV)

5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Just a couple of things here:

Notice, the recognition of the reality...

…of the Christian’s ongoing struggle with sin:

You and I are not alone in that.

And Notice the very practical remedy given for it, here.

It doesn’t sound very spiritual...

…but we must always be sure...

…to avail ourselves of the means that we have.

They are God’s gift to us as well.

Remember this going forward.

Remember this as you interact with...

…the commands of this text in your marriages:

Ephesians 5:32–33 (ESV)

32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

33 ...let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Click Off

A lot is at stake.

Pray