Sex, Marriage, and the Glory of God

Hebrews 13:4

(recap, this section is about Christian love)

I was looking up the statistics for marriage and divorce, adultery, pre-marital sex, use of pornography… In decades past when a passage like ours would come up, these numbers would be cited to help wake us up to the reality that there is a problem both in the church and in the culture around us.

I don’t know that the numbers are that helpful for us right now. We know there is a problem, don’t we? Some stats show that divorce rates are down over the last decade, citing the number as a good thing… but failing to show that marriage numbers have also fallen.

People don’t even believe in marriage anymore. Why enter into a possibly difficult relationship, that so often ends in pain? Why yoke myself forever to another person when its much safer to hold back a part of me?

The words of this verse, and yes we are only looking at this one verse this morning because of how important this in in our current situation, the words of this verse tell us that Marriage has been designed by God for a purpose, and that purpose is pure and holy.

Marriage and Honor

“Let marriage be held in honor among all.”

We’ve redefined marriage. But this is what we do, we take words that have meaning, and we say that they mean other things now. But we’ve always done this. Marriage is the union of one man and one woman for life. But even the people in Abraham’s day sought to redefine it. One man to many women. That never worked by the way, and it was never blessed by God.

So when our passage uses the word marriage, it is meant in the only way it can be meant: One man and one woman, united for life.

And what he says about this is that marriage as a covenant, marriage itself is to be held in honor among all.

That word “held in honor” is almost always translated in the ESV as “precious.” Precious jewels, the precious blood of Christ. The precious promises of God. It is applied to things that we would hold as the most valuable and honorable of things.

This is how we are to think about marriage. It is such a precious thing.

I talk to many people, and often I will hear a couple who is living together, or who has been dating for years say, we just don’t know that we believe in marriage. We’ve seen it abused so many times, we just don’t know that it is for us.

Sad isn’t it? The fall, human sin, has marred this most precious of institutions. There is something sacred about marriage. Marriage is one of our only things that we still have which puts us back, pre fall, in the garden. Marriage is not a result of the fall, marriage preceded the fall.

Now the church has always swung to extremes on the issue of marriage. In the middle ages Marriage was considered less holy. Priests couldn’t get married because it would cause them to be sort of low like the people.

Nowadays we don’t dishonor marriage by thinking its dirty. We dishonor marriage by thinking its not worth it.

Here’s how we dishonor marriage: Men how do you talk about your wives when they aren’t around? example

Women how about you?

Its not honoring to your spouse to talk about them that way, is it? It certainly doesn’t convey to those around us that marriage is honorable.

Husbands and wives should be able to know that they are spoken well of by their spouses even when they are not around.

Some of you are in hard marriages. It’s been hard from day one. Your continuation in your marriage, your daily fight to keep it, and grow it … That does so much to honor marriage. It says to the ones around you that marriage is worth it. That God had the right idea from the beginning.

Marriage and Purity

God is the creator of humans and human sexuality. This is what he means by the marriage bed. It is a euphemism for sex. He says that sex is to be undefiled. Well what exactly does that mean?

Well it means that it can be defiled. There is a time and a place for a sexual relationship, and the time and place for that is within the bonds of marriage.

Again, this is a little bit of a countercultural statement, isn’t it?

The word he uses he for undefiled is the same word that he used by in chapter 7:26 to define Jesus. Jesus in his high priesthood stood unstained, undefiled, innocent, holy.

What is being expressed here in chapter 13 then is that sex within marriage is something that is given to a husband and wife, and that it is pure and good and right. Again this goes against the language that would say marriage is a necessary thing but not entirely pure, you’d be more holy if you avoid it.

And it goes against the other language that marriage is the problem. No believer, marriage is the solution for your God given desires. God created men and women to feel attraction toward one another, to create children, to love one another, and nourish one another. This is the only God given way for this to happen undefiled.

But that word doesn’t mean, do it if you must, it means, this is holy and right and good.

Perhaps you feel like this morning this message is just for those who are married. Those who are single and those who are married have such an important role to play here.

Did you know that 80% of people who are married think they married the wrong person?

Christians are to love one another and support one another. And you know what can happen when we do that well? We can give someone the love that a wife or husband is lacking from their spouse.

In fact this is the reason so many pastors fall into adultery. It isn’t because they set out to do it, necessarily. It is because sometimes a wife comes to seek help about her husband who won’t listen to her and finds a sympathetic man who finally gives her the time of day.

I’m about as imperfect of a husband as there can be. I want to help, but I don’t want to give a false impression of myself. My wife can tell you all the faults I have, but we might be here a while.

Love one another well, and love one another by honoring marriage and keeping the marriage bed undefiled.

Marriage and Judgment

Hear this warning.

Why are we to hold marriage in such high honor and why are we to keep the marriage bed undefiled? Because God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

How does this, work is this the case? If you look throughout the Old Testament, these are the words applied to God’s people who worship false Gods.

This may sound strange to us, but what its really getting at is that these behaviors betray dissatisfaction and discontentment with Gods design and God’s provision.

What God has given me isn’t enough. What God says is good and right, I call bad, what God calls bad, I call good.

It is the same issue we face every week as we hear this word preached… Is God the authority in the world, over all things, over my life, or am i? You can boil it all down to this can’t you? It always comes down to this. “Did God really say?”

Well friends, the gospel is good news because he redeems fornicators, pornographers, adulterers, homosexuals… the list goes on. God will judge those who practice these things. But believer there is grace for you in the arms of Christ.

He was judged on our behalf. The judge of all was judged for us. The one who stands as our pure undefiled high priest, bore our impurity and defilement on himself on the tree. Our sin placed on him, so that we might become the righteousness of God.

1 Corinthians 6:9–11 ESV

9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

You may fit in that category. Believer you may have once fit in that category, but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of Jesus.

If you find yourself in these sinful practices, turn from your sin and trust Jesus. Tell a friend, talk to one of us, let us help you walk a life of purity under the Lordship of our great savior.