Victoria Sukhanova

ViKa -34

This is my sisters name (Though we usually called her Vic or Tori as a child) and although we have had many challenges in life, I am reminded today of my love for her. Although Victoria (My sister) has been mostly separated in my adult life, her impact on me is undeniable. Sometimes I am angry with her, and at times I may even attempt to avoid her, yet there is no denying the love that I hold in my heart.

This begs the question today, with all of the hardships in life, and the ups and downs of relationships, what is the purpose of life?

What is the purpose of life?

This is the question that has been asked throughout all of human history and today we are confronted with this question once again.

Is life nothing more than breath? Is there no impact beyond this temporal life?

Victoria lived a unique life that brought many struggles. Both with relationships, but also within her own soul. And, although these struggles seem more apparent in other peoples lives, they are struggles that we all face in some capacity.

Romans 14:7 NKJV

For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself.

Paul said, no one lives to himself.

This is a great truth. No one lives for or to ourselves alone. We all have impact ob those in our lives. You presence here today proves that Victoria impacted your life.

Thus it is important that each of us reflect internally and examine ourselves and the impact that we have on those whose lives we touch.

I understand that Victoria was a good person at heart and that she loved her family and especially her mother. Generous, loving, lover of art, nature, and music.

Yet, is this enough to make a life valuable, or is there something more. I would submit to you that the purpose of life is not merely in the pleasures that can be found, but also in the impact that is made.

Thus, we should all seek to leave behind lives that we have changed for the better. Weather absent or present, it is the example of love that can make a difference.

Yes, Victoria is no longer here. But, her life can out live herself, if we take time to learn from her. Good or bad either way let her life be a lesson for each of you.

What is the purpose of death?

If life has purpose then the opposite must also be true. There must be purpose in death.

Death is a reminder of the fleeting time that we all have. Victoria only lived for 34 years. Was that enough? How many years did she need to make an impact. 80, 90, by chance 100 years and then what? Death still comes for each of us. Today we are forced to face the reality that life is short.

Death is also a reminder of the permanence of the grave. It reminds us that each of us will one day fall victim to its grasp. Thus, we must make preparation for that time. You see, we do not know when this day will come. It may be today, tomorrow, next year or 50 years from now. But, it is coming and it cannot be avoided. So I will ask you this today, are you ready? Is your house and your affairs in order? Does your family know you love them? Whatever you believe about the after life, are you prepared. You see death is final, and there are no second chances so you must get ready while you can.

What do we do with grief?

Grief is a natural process. Each of us grieve , even if we suppress it. I want you to know that it is okay to grieve. It is okay to hurt. Death is painful, because we lose fellowship with someone we love, but also because it reminds us of our own mortality.

Everyone grieves differently. Some will become angry, someone sorrowful. One person will cry, while the next may laugh. There is no right way and the only wrong way is to not grieve, or to turn grief into hatred or aggression towards others. What I would encourage you to do is to find a way to grieve and be patient with those who do not grieve the way you do. Myself I grieve but I will not allow others to see it, even my spouse. Sometimes, this is viewed as callousness. It is not, it is just my process.

Grief is the process of coming to turns with death and processing how to move forward. Life will be different for each of you, even in varying degrees. But, rest assured this will impact you in some way. Therefore, you must come to terms with this. However, it would be a mistake to try to forget Victoria. Remember her life, both the good and the bad, and learn from it. Celebrate the good memories, and learn from the rest.

Grief can also be a time of dealing with regrets. Regret for words and actions. Often in life we are left with regret. Regret is an unfavorable aspect of life. Death closes the door on making amends. It also closes the door on the the other person making things right with you if you are the offended party. So what now? Unfortunately, there is no going back. However, if you have words that you were not able to say, Say them now. Maybe you can not same them to Victoria, but you can say them with the way you live your life. And, if you feel that you where wronged, forgive. Do not become a slave to anger. Forgive, and with forgiveness find hope.

Lastly, turn your grief into action. Tell your family that you love them. Hold your wife and children a little tighter tonight. Celebrate the gift of life, and don’t squander a moment. Prepare for the life to come, and make the most of the life you have been given.

Poem by David Harkins

She is Gone

You can shed tears that she is gone Or you can smile because she has lived You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her Or you can be full of the love that you shared You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday You can remember her and only that she is gone Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on You can cry and close your mind, be empty, turn your back, and not move on Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.