Faithfully Living the Household of God - With God honoring Relationships:

Introduction:

Relating to Others:

Paul, at the end of chapter 4, finished up encouraging Timothy to be active in using his gifts for the benefit and building up of the Household of God. And to teach others to do the same. And Paul says in 1 Timothy 4:16, “Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers.”

Part of Timothy keeping a close watch on himself, is regarding how he interacts with others. The crucial emphasis lies in ensuring that Timothy's engagement with the members of his Church aligns not with worldly standards but with the character of God.

For us this should be an obvious truth, but we forget that although Timothy is a Christian and a pastor, he is still beset by sin, and it is his primary duty to fan into flame the gift of salvation so that he is maturing or growing in sanctification. And that means a putting off of the old self.

Ephesians 4:22–24“to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”

For all Christians, this stands true as a distinctive characteristic of a genuine follower of Jesus. Genuine disciples will experience a gradual growth in maturity, even if it is incremental; this growth will manifest and be apparent to those around them. In contrast, individuals who are not Christians will not undergo this maturation process, even if they engage in church activities. This is because the Holy Spirit does not reside within them, and as a result, their hearts remain spiritually lifeless and bound by sin. While they may temporarily present a convincing mask, over time, their true nature will be revealed.

Therefore, Paul calls Timothy to keep a close watch on himself and his teaching. The same encouragement if given to Christians today as well, we must keep a close watch on ourselves and what we teach others. Because we will either lead them to life or death based on the path we are on and the things we teach.

A primary way in which our true character is manifested for people to see is in regard to how we treat others. This is a contrast between the unregenerate mind of the non-Christian and the regenerate mind of the Christian.

The primary distinction that we see is that the unregenerate mind relates to others from a place of self-centeredness. Which means that in our interactions, the self is always the primary focus. That means if I interact with Bill, the underlying truth is that I am trying to get or gain something for myself, either at the benefit or expense of Bill.

Therefore, we will tailor our actions, speech, and attention based on what we are seeking. If its attention, you will do things that force others to focus on you, and you may be overly loud and boisterous. Or you may manipulate others by having something going wrong in your life that require others to save you, and if they don’t drop everything when you, call then you make them out to be mean, unloving and hateful.

We call this group vampires, because if allowed they will suck the life and joy out of you. And they make you feel like a horrible person if you put healthy boundaries in place.

Another side of worldly relating to others, has to do with how you relate to people not living up to your expectation. One of the greatest injustices the religious leaders of the 1st century committed was to set unrealistic expectations for people and smash them when they failed to live up to those expectations.

Matthew 23:4 “They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger.”

We lay these burdens on our spouse, children, friends, co-workers, neighbors and anyone else that comes into our lives. And then we wonder why our marriages are awful, our children hate us, our co-workers don’t want to work with us, and our neighbors avoid us like the plague. It’s because your character is deeply sinful, and without serious life changes you will continue to alienate everyone.

The word that Paul uses in the first part of 1 Timothy 5:1, carries this idea. In english it is rebuke. But in the Greek the word is much stronger. ἐπιπλήξῃς means to beat down or to hammer in the sense of to excess.

Dad and mom when you hammer on your son or daughter to the point their shoulders drop and they can no longer look you in the eye or they respond in anger, that ought to be a sign telling you to repent of your sinful behavior because you are beating them down beyond the point of healthy instruction, instead of guiding and shepherding them.

People who have unrealistic expectations for others, devolve into a monster when someone does not meet their expectations. It is not enough for them to address the failing, but they lose control and vomit out as much insults and verbal abuse as they can. If they are allowed this could go on for hours. And they feel justified in their abuse because how else is someone going to learn if they don’t tell them.

This can be a danger point for pastors and people in power. It is easy to concluded that if you don’t tell someone in the strongest way possible then they will just never get it. But what is at the heart of this way of acting is an overinflated sense of self. You think to highly of yourself, that your word is what needs to be followed or that you are the only person who can bring about glorious change.

In the contrast of Paul’s letter to Timothy, the people who fit this type are the false teachers, the ones who gain control for selfish gain, and lord things over others instead of serving them.

Philippians 2:3 “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”

The worldly mindset places the self at the center of all relationships, which leads us to this place of push and shove, always trying to gain the upper hand in the relationship to the detriment of the other person.

Often times when we struggle with these things, we are seeking to convince ourselves and others that we are good enough. But we need to break free from that mindset and know that in Christ, God makes us good enough, because he covers us with the saving blood of Jesus, and gives us all things that are necessary for life and godliness.

Honoring God by Relating to Others:

Because, Christians are to grow in maturity, that does not mean there will not be times when our sin gets the better of us, but it means overall our relationships will not be marked by selfishness but love and respect. The Bible gives direction on how to have healthy relationships with each other.

Matthew 22:37–44“And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”

Hebrews 10:24 “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,”

It all begins with how we view God, ourselves and others. As Christians living in the Household of God, our lives will be marked but growth in our relationships, and most importantly how we treat each other. The Bible is sufficient for us to know how we should be conducting our relationships, how our families should be run, how we should pick our friends and spouse, and even how we should pick a church.

One thing that I love telling people when they are looking for a church, is to attend a members meeting. For you will find out really quick the character of the people in the church based on how they act during those meetings.

Paul says in our passage, 1 Timothy 5:1–2“Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.”

Paul gives us clear direction on how to relate to each other. Notice the tone and contrast that Paul gives.

1. Don’t rebuke - Encourage: We already spoke about this word rebuke, it means don’t beat each other down.

Proverbs 16:24 “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”

2. Treat each other as brothers or sisters: You are of the same Household, the household of God, and you are regenerated therefore live like it.

3. Treat older women as mothers: respect them, listen to them, if they give good counsel seek their advice.

Leviticus 19:32 ““You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God: I am the Lord.”

Paul’s words here are filled with the tone of love and respect for each other. The Bible calls us to build each other up, not beat each other down. To interact with each other in such a way that it displays our godly and maturing character.

And listen, our character is displayed consistently in all of life. I know that most of the time the person in church is not the real person. Most people do a good job of hiding their true character when they come church. And then when they walk out the doors get in their car, they are screaming at their kids or spouse, as they loose all self-control.

But God doesn’t want you to stay there, his will for your life is sanctification. That means a steady growing in godly character through the work of the Holy Spirit.

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

The word “kind” here means to be loving and gracious. And in that concept is that we understand that though regenerate, meaning made new in Christ, we still have sin that we are fighting against. Therefore, when people sin we are not to beat them into the ground for it. Nor when we sin, should we beat ourselves into the ground, we need to break free from the legalism, and instead do what the Bible says.

Proverbs 28:13 “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.”

James 5:16 “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Now to be kind, or loving and gracious does not mean that we let sin go; for to do that would be unloving. But our actions in dealing with sin, will show where our hearts are, and some people need to be rebuked strongly for their sin. We ought not hold back from a unrepentant false teacher, who has been counseled already. Titus 3:10–11“As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.”

Paul says in 1 Timothy 1:20 “among whom are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan that they may learn not to blaspheme.” This is a rebuke, but it is not beating them down. It is using strong language to accomplish a the purpose of repentance not for you to make yourself feel good.

Use the Word of God as a means for building up, encouraging, training in righteousness, correction, for by so doing you will be a loving servant of Christ Jesus, living with your fellow Christian in a manner that is worthy of the gospel.

Jude 20–23“But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. And have mercy on those who doubt; save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh.”