Sunday School | Genesis 29:15–22

We pick up from where we left off with our study on love and dating. This will be the last lesson before we delve into a new section of the series where we transition from pre-dating to the dating phase.

Have you ever heard the phrase:

“Let’s just go with the flow.”

“Let’s not label things.”

“I’m really focused on my career right now.”

“I don’t want to ruin what we have.”

“Let’s just see where this goes.”

This one should really set off some alarms:

“I am not sure I want to be exclusive right now.”

These phrases should be throwing some red flags.

While there are other phrases out there, these are typical and seem to have stood the test of time in many ways.

The last phrase there indicates that it is fine for them to date or have a relationship with another person. In most cases someone who says this is not simply trying to go to dinner with friends.

Some of these phrases might have triggered someone and that is not the intent, but rather for us to consider this question:

Are these the phrases of someone who is ready for a committed relationship?

No, rather someone avoiding commitment.

This also lends to another issue.

Is it ok for me to date someone who is not a believer in the Lord?

No.

Well, what if they come to church and are interested but have not made the decision to trust the Lord?

No.

You may think that this is wrong, but I am going to tell you that unless they make a decision to receive Christ, they will drag that issue out until it is forgotten. Then once you are in the relationship for such a long time, you will feel that the time you invested into the relationship would be too great to lose.

Is it ok to date someone who believes in God but they are of a different faith?

Let me clarify here, being of a different faith could be anyone outside of being a believer in Christ. Hindu, Muslim, Mormon, and Jehovah Witness, etc…

No.

Let’s talk about dating Apps.

Genesis 29:15–22 KJV 1900

15 And Laban said unto Jacob, Because thou art my brother, shouldest thou therefore serve me for nought? tell me, what shall thy wages be? 16 And Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. 17 Leah was tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favoured. 18 And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter. 19 And Laban said, It is better that I give her to thee, than that I should give her to another man: abide with me. 20 And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her. 21 And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her. 22 And Laban gathered together all the men of the place, and made a feast.

Today we are going to discuss the topic of dating with purpose.

Many of us, myself included at one time have been in a relationship with no real purpose. Let me put it this way instead: No goal to make that relationship last beyond the thought of “well let’s see how long this will last.”

Some of us may think that if this relationship lasts x amount of time, then maybe I’ll consider that then they are a potential match for me.

There often will be a time to learn about the person and discern whether or not they would be someone you would want to marry. I would say that even going into a relationship, your mindset should be focusing on whether or not that person would be someone you would want to marry.

We find ourselves here in the story of Jacob, now regardless of what you think of Jacob, he would meet his match in craftiness in Laban.

I want us to see that Jacob sought Rachel with purpose.

Dating with Purpose will require:

Work

What kind of work does a relationship require?

Notice that Jacob worked to earn Rachel’s hand in marriage.

Dating someone with the purpose of marriage will require work, not simply to afford a ring, wedding, and all the material elements. It will require work to know the person, their family and develop a deeper relationship with them.

Think of all the times Jacob would be eating with the family or spending time with Laban.

It is not simply getting to know the person you are in a relationship with but it is also getting to know that person’s family. Believe me, you will be spending time with your in-laws in a marriage.

During this time you will learn the positives and negatives about the person.

This will also be a difficult process as it will require us to learn how we respond and receive certain traits, or quirks about that person.

Waiting

How long did Jacob wait before he was able to marry Rachel?

14 years.

Yes, finding “the one” will take time.

Relationships also require patience, so learning to wait and be patient will be beneficial.

How did Jacob view those years?

They seemed like days.

When you meet someone that you want to marry, that time being single or all the previous time will seem so small in comparison to how you feel towards that person.

You will probably think “it was worth the wait” or that “I would have waited longer” because of how you feel about that person now.

I believe a good mindset to have is: “If I knew I would end up with (the person God has for you) then I would not waste time with these other relationships.”