Wrestling With God

Wrestling With God

There was a poll done a while back to find the one thing people most want to be said to them by someone else. Out of anything that can be said to you, what do you want to hear the most? It’s an interesting question, because it speaks to the deepest needs we have as human beings — needs that probably most of us have a tough time expressing to those we love most.

Here are the top three answers people gave to the question, “What statement do you most want to hear?”

Number three: “Dinner is served.” Lots of hungry people out there.

Number two: “I forgive you.” That speaks to a different sort of hunger, doesn’t it?

And the number one thing that people said they most wanted to hear? I bet you can guess that one. “I love you.”

Those answers are great, aren’t they? That’s all of life boiled down to three wants that we all have. It didn’t matter whether the people answering that question were men or women, didn’t matter what race they were, didn’t matter if they were old or young or poor or rich. They all answered pretty much the same way, because like I said, those statements speak right to the heart of our deepest needs.

We spend our whole lives searching for those three things — nourishment and forgiveness and love. The problem a lot of us have is we go searching for them in all the wrong places. We either try to get them ourselves instead of relying on God to provide them, or we trust God to provide them but then get mad when He doesn’t provide them in the way we want. And when we get angry at God, we start doubting Him. We doubt His presence. We doubt His promises. We even start doubting the one thing we need most from Him — His love.

Happens all the time, doesn’t it? You go to God with a deep need that He doesn’t meet. You cry out to Him, but it seems like nobody’s there. You want to understand Him, but you can’t. And more than that, you know you’ll never really understand Him on this side of life. In fact, you start realizing that you basically spend your whole life bumping around in the dark. All these things are happening to you that you don’t understand. You need direction, and you know the Bible says that God’s promised you direction, but when you pray for it, there’s just silence.

What do you do when life gets so hard and complicated and it feels at best like God doesn’t care, and at worst that God’s not there at all? What are your options when you start questioning who God is and what He’s doing in your life? Well, one option is to do what a lot of people do — just give up on God all together. Or you can just say, “Well, I don’t understand any of this, and I never will, and I guess I have to believe in God because I’m afraid of hell, so I guess I’ll just keep trying and hope I get by.”

But God has a third option, and it sounds almost crazy — He says, “Don’t give up on Me, and don’t ignore Me, wrestle with Me. Bring all of your doubts and worries and all of your anger right to Me, and let’s just have it out.”

Now, that can bother us. Most of us are taught early on that we shouldn’t have any doubts or struggles. Doubt is the greatest enemy of faith. But that’s not true at all. It actually takes a whole lot of faith to wrestle honestly with your questions. And when you’re willing to get into the ring with God — when you’re ready to wrestle with Him over your doubts and hurts and disappointments — that’s when you come to realize God has you exactly where He wants you.

Because what does God want most of all? What did God want with Abraham when He told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac? What did God want with Adam and Eve when He created them? He wanted a relationship, and that’s exactly what He wants with you. And sometimes there’s no better way to deepen that relationship you have with God than when you get down in the mud and wrestle with Him.

We’re going through some of the favorite stories of the Bible — and if you have a favorite story you’d like me to preach on, let me know and I’ll make that happen. Some of those stories are memorable because they’re about such interesting people or circumstances. But some of them are memorable simply because they’re just so strange, and the one we’re going to talk about today is strange. It’s about a man named Jacob who actually wrestled with God. Turn in your Bibles to Genesis 32. We’ll be reading verses 22-30:

22 The same night he arose and took his two wives, his two female servants, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok.

23 He took them and sent them across the stream, and everything else that he had.

24 And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day.

25 When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his hip socket, and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him.

26 Then he said, “Let me go, for the day has broken.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

27 And he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.”

28 Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.”

29 Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him.

30 So Jacob called the name of the place Penuel, saying, “For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered.”

And this is the word of the Lord.

You won’t find anyone else quite like Jacob in all the Bible. He’s a coward, a thief, a conman, a patriarch, and ultimately a man of God. We all know the story of Jacob and Esau. Jacob stole his brother Esau’s birthright, Esau vowed revenge, so Jacob ran far away to his uncle Laban. But that didn’t turn out well either, at least in some ways, because Laban was an even better conman than Jacob. But Jacob did marry two of Laban’s daughters, Rachel and Leah, and he managed to become a very wealthy shepherd. A little too wealthy, actually, which caused even more problems with Laban.

Then God commanded Jacob to pack up his family and go back to the land of his birth. But there’s a huge problem — if Jacob does what God wants, he’s going to have to face the brother who swore to kill him. But Jacob has to obey — he’s learned that lesson — so he sets sets out for home with his entire family and all of his belongings. And as they get close to home, Jacob, being a smart guy, decides to send messengers to Esau. He wants to try and fix their broken relationship before he gets there. But then those messengers return, and the news they bring is not great. They tell him Esau’s on his way, and he has an army of four hundred men with him.

That’s where we pick up in verse 22. Jacob is scrambling now. He has to get everyone safe. Verse 23 says that he sends them across the stream. That word for stream in the Hebrew is better translated as a ravine or a valley. Jacob’s putting his family on high ground on one ridge while Esau is coming from the direction of the opposite ridge. Meaning Jacob is all alone in the valley right in between.

Put yourself in Jacob’s shoes here. You’re terrified. It’s pitch dark. There’s no one to help you. Worse, you realize you don’t deserve any help. You’re thinking, Here are all my sins coming back to haunt me. Not only am I a dead man, my family and my servants are going to be killed too. All because of me. All because of what I did. All my life I’ve managed to be smart enough to find a way out, but now that’s all caught up with me. There is no way out of this one. This is it. This is the end.

So what do you do? You probably pray, don’t you? I bet Jacob is praying like he’s never prayed before. He’s asking God to show up, to help, to do something, anything. I bet he’s also thinking about every bad thing he’s ever done, every selfish choice he’s ever made. And I bet Jacob’s also thinking about all those times when God had shown him mercy and guidance. He’s looking back over his life and remembering how God wove every choice and stumble into His will, and now Jacob’s crying out for God to show up.

And here God comes in verse 24. Jacob is afraid and ashamed and discouraged, but he doesn’t let any of those feelings keep him from calling out to God, and God always comes to those who call Him. He will never fail. But listen — when God comes to you, it will very often be in a way that is completely different than we expect. That’s because we always cry out to God for the things we want, but God always comes to give us what we need.

Verse 24 says this is “a man,” but it’s not exactly a man. This is God in human form. This is Christ before the time for him to be born into the world. Jacob cries out in his grief and his fear and his brokenness, and it’s Christ who answers.

But now think about Jacob again. He’s out there all alone with an army led by a revenge-starved brother coming right at him. He needs a miracle. He’s crying out for a miracle, and then he sees that miracle walking out of the darkness. Here’s Jacob’s help. Here is his salvation. But that man doesn’t say, “Don’t worry, Jacob. I’m going to make everything okay. You’ll be safe, and so will your family.” That man doesn’t offer Jacob rest. Doesn’t offer Jacob wisdom. Instead, he grabs Jacob and starts wrestling with him.

What in the world is happening here? Verses 24 and 25 are the only times in the entire Bible that the word wrestle occurs, and it’s not between two people, it’s not between two armies, it’s between God and a man. It’s almost like God walks up to Jacob in this dark valley and says, “Well, I’m here. Now, Jacob, what are you going to do with Me?” And in all of Jacob’s fear, in his doubt and worry and all the frustration that’s built up over an entire lifetime, the only thing Jacob can do is lash out and fight.

We can sympathize with that, can’t we? Verse 24 tells us some important things. When do you wrestle with God? When your life becomes like Jacob’s. When you’re stripped of all your worldly treasures. When you lose a family member, or a job, or your health, or a goal. When you suffer a broken relationship. When you feel like you can’t take one more thing and the entire world is crashing down and God makes no sense anymore, that’s exactly when God shows up and says, “Let’s wrestle.” Because He doesn’t want you to hide your pain from Him. He doesn’t want you to stop asking questions and just deal with it. He says, “You don’t think I’m here? I’m always here. If it feels like I’m not here, it’s because you’re the one who moved.”

That’s when you wrestle with God. But then there’s the question of how all this takes place, and to answer that we have to look at two things. We have to look at how Jacob wrestles with God, and we have to look at how God wrestles with Jacob. Because those are two very different things.

Jacob wrestles in his messiness. Jacob’s not even close to a saint. He’s done some terrible things in his life. But God wrestles with him anyway, doesn’t He? You don’t need to get yourself right before you go to God. If you wait until you’re right, you’ll never get there. You don’t need to clean yourself up, because you can’t. God is the one who gets you right. God is the one who cleans you up. And is there a more powerful picture of a perfectly loving God than showing up to wrestle a filthy, conniving, hardheaded sinner? Is there? Actually, there is, and it’s all in how God wrestles with Jacob.

We have to understand exactly what’s happening here, because it’s not what it looks like. When we picture a wrestling match it’s a physical thing, isn’t it? But there’s a spiritual wrestling match going on here too. This story is mentioned in another book of the Old Testament, the book of Hosea. And in Hosea 12:4 we find that there are two weapons Jacob uses in this wrestling match with God. Those two weapons are prayers and tears. Jacob’s not just wrestling, he’s praying. He’s crying out. Jacob’s bearing his soul. He’s sweating and screaming and begging. He digging his feet into the dirt and groping with his hands to find some leverage.

And what’s God doing? It’s an interesting question. Is God wrestling too? Well, in a way. It’s like how we would wrestle with a child. Remember how you used to wrestle around with your kids? They’re just these little people that might weigh thirty or forty pounds, and you’re this grown adult. They’re coming at you with everything they have, but you’re using maybe 5 or 10 percent of your strength. That’s what God’s doing with Jacob.

Jacob’s kicking and clawing and crying and screaming. That’s how he wrestles with God. That’s how we wrestle with God. But that’s not how God wrestles with us. And that’s where the best picture of a loving God comes in, right there in verse 25:

“When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his hip socket, and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him.”

It sounds so violent, doesn’t it? But watch this — it’s not by Jacob’s own strength that he wrestles God. It’s not in Jacob’s own strength that he prevails against God. Jacob only wins with the strength that God gives him. Jacob could have been squashed like a bug on a windshield at any time, but he’s not. God gives him the strength to keep fighting, keep wrestling.

So what does God do? He puts out Jacob’s thigh. Now, what does that accomplish? First, if there is any doubt in Jacob’s mind who he’s wrestling with, this settles things. No human being can put out a person’s thigh this easily. That’s something only God can do. If Jacob is wondering if this is just some guy, if in the back of his mind he’s thinking this might be a traveler out to rob him or a messenger from Esau out to weaken him, that idea’s all gone. There is no question — Jacob is dealing with no one but God Himself.

But now watch this, because this point is everything in this story — how does God put out Jacob’s hip socket? He doesn’t punch it. Doesn’t kick it. God doesn’t even reach out and jab at it. He touches it. And how is the only way that even God can touch Jacob’s hip?

The only way is if God is hugging him.

Jacob is throwing punches. He’s kicking his legs. He’s twisting his body to get away but God is hugging him. The picture we have in our minds is this is a violent fight, but it’s not. Jacob thinks he’s fighting, but he’s really being changed by the embrace of Christ, just like we all are. And that is the picture of God’s love. We punch and kick, He hugs. We scream, He comforts. We try to run away, He holds us tight. We think we can stand on our own, He shows us we can’t.

That’s what he shows Jacob with that touch. Why did God touch Jacob in the socket of his hip? Why there instead of anywhere else? Because your hips are the foundation of your physical strength. All of your strength comes from your legs. And the spot where your thigh joins with your hip is the source of all your physical force. If your thigh bone is thrown out of joint, you are completely helpless. Totally disabled.

With one small motion, Jacob finds all of his strength and power gone. He can’t even stand on his own anymore. This is the turning point of the story, right there in verse 25. Look at what happens. Jacob’s hip has just been broken. But he keeps fighting, doesn’t he? Jacob even speaks in the very next verse. Do you think you could fight and talk with a shattered hip? No way. All you could do is lie down and scream. So that can only mean that God broke Jacob’s hip while making sure that Jacob wasn’t in any physical pain.

God doesn’t want to hurt Jacob, God wants Jacob to learn his life’s greatest lesson. And Jacob’s about to, because he can’t walk. But He can’t fight at all. He couldn’t have beaten Esau in a fair fight to begin with, but now Jacob can’t even run away. He’s defeated. He’s broken. He helpless. And he’s exactly where God wants him to be, because now Jacob can’t support himself. And so what does Jacob do? What’s the only thing he can do? He slumps right into the arms of the God he’s fighting against. And in that moment, Jacob learns the one lesson God’s been trying to teach him all his life — Jacob has to lean on someone more powerful than himself. He has no choice but to hold on to his Lord and not let go.

God says in verse 26, “Let me go, for the day has broken.” The night is gone. Dawn has come. Esau’s on his way, and Jacob has work to do. But Jacob says, “I don’t care if it’s day. I don’t care who’s coming for me. I won’t let you go. I finally have you and I won’t let you go, so bless me.”

Jacob knows he’s in the arms of a holy God who can disable without pain, and Jacob knows that if God can injure, God can also bless. He finally knows how helpless he’s always been and how helpless he’ll always be without God’s help and grace. Of all Jacob’s faults — and there were a lot of them — the one that caused him the most trouble was that he always thought Esau was his biggest problem in life. But the truth was always that Jacob’s biggest problem was he’d spent his life wrestling against God. Esau wasn’t the problem, Jacob’s lack of trust was the problem, and that was the source of all the lying and manipulating he’d ever done. And when that truth finally comes to him there in God’s arms, Jacob realizes that he’s only ever needed one thing. That’s why he cries out, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me.”

What’s Jacob asking for here exactly? When we give a blessing to someone, it’s not much more than a nice wish. But when God gives a blessing, He’s promising fullness of life. He’s promising love and joy and meaning. He’s promising to provide all three of those things that poll I talked about a little bit ago said we all want more than anything.

Jacob started out wrestling God out of his despair and doubt. He swing his arms and legs while God held on tight. But here at the end, Jacob’s now wrestling to become one of God’s blessed children. He’s wrestling for a deeper sense of God’s presence in his life. He’s not wrestling so that he can beat God, or make God go along with his own selfish plans. Jacob’s wrestling god because he wants more of God, and that’s why now Jacob’s the one holding on tight.

And that is exactly why you have to wrestle, too. That’s why you have to go to God with all of your hurt and doubt and sadness and every ounce of your grief and not say, “Why are you doing this to me, God?” but “Lord, I’m not going to let go of You no matter what, and I don’t care how long I have to hang on, I only care that you bless me.”

But God doesn’t give His blessing right away. Something else has to come first, and we see what that is in verse 27. It’s a question He asks Jacob — “What’s your name?”

Does God know what Jacob’s name is? Of course He does. But remember last week when we were talking about God asking Adam where he was, and Eve what she did? When God asks a question, it’s because He wants us to know something.

Jacob answers by giving his name. The name Jacob means trickster. Liar. God asks for Jacob’s name and Jacob gives it, but along with that name comes all the terrible things that Jacob has ever done in his life, all because he didn’t trust God. It’s a judgment. But it’s a judgment given in love instead of hate, because remember where Jacob still is — he’s in the arms of God. God is still holding onto him.

And now God says in verse 28, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob …”

For all of Jacob’s life, he’s been defined by his name. He came out of his mother’s womb holding on to Esau’s heel. He’s spent his whole life doing everything to get ahead, no matter the cost. He has no relationship with his family. He has no relationship with his uncle Laban. And Esau is still on his way.

But God says none of that matters anymore. He says to Jacob, “You won’t be known as the cheater anymore, you’ll be known as the humble servant who’s in My hands. Your name will be Israel, which means ‘God prevails,’ because when you wrestled with me and depended on yourself, you were no match. But when you depend on Me, you can never lose.” But it’s also more than that. God gives Jacob the new name Israel because He says, “you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.”

You’ve prevailed, Jacob. You’ve overcome. And isn’t that what life is all about in the end? Enduring. Persisting. Overcoming. Never giving up on God and never giving in to anything but God? But what exactly had Jacob overcome? Not Esau. Not Uncle Laban. Jacob had finally overcome himself. Right there in God’s embrace, Jacob truly sees himself for the first time. He finally understands that he’s spent his entire life trying to get what God promised him in his own way instead of trusting and having faith in God’s way.

We get a last picture of Jacob in verse 31 as he leaves go to meet Esau. Pay attention to the last phrase there. He walks off “limping because of his hip.” Jacob’s life would never be the same after that night. You don’t wrestle with God and remain the same. Jacob would limp for the rest of his life. That hip would never heal. And that limp is mentioned in Hebrews 11, that famous chapter listing the hall of faith. In verse 21, the writer of Hebrews says, “By faith Jacob, when dying, blessed each of the sons of Joseph, bowing in worship over the head of his staff.” Why does Jacob need a staff? Because of that limp. It’s almost like out of all the things Jacob experienced, everything he endured, Hebrews 11 holds him up as a hero of our faith because he had to lean on God.

We close here with Jacob limping off to meet Esau. And notice what Jacob doesn’t know — he doesn’t know how this meeting with his brother is going to turn out. God hasn’t said one word about whether Jacob will even live to see the sunset. But here’s what Jacob does know — God is with him, and that’s enough. That’s everything.

Are you wrestling with God now? Good. There aren’t many things in life more valuable than that. But you have to do it right. Remember, Jacob didn’t win that wrestling match by pinning God. Jacob won by being pinned. He won by losing, because it’s in the losing, in that limp, when he finally bowed himself to God’s plan and power. When God wrestles with you, it’s to bless you. And when He cuts you, He cuts to heal.

One more point to make as we close. If you look back in scripture before this wrestling match, you’ll find something interesting. In Genesis 28, Jacob has a dream of a ladder reaching to heaven, and God stands above the ladder and says, “I am the Lord, the god of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac.”

In chapter 31, Jacob is talking to Laban and says, “If the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac …”

In chapter 32, just before God comes into that valley to meet Jacob, Jacob prays to God and says, “Oh God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac …”

In all of those verses, God is the father of Abraham. In all of them, God is the father of Isaac. But nowhere in the Bible does it say that God is the God of Jacob until after they wrestled. Why is that? Because that’s when Jacob finally learned how to lean on God. And the same is true for you. Because when you wrestle with God in our loneliness, He says, “Come with me. Dinner’s ready, and the food and drink I give you will never leave you hungry or thirsty again.” When you wrestle with God in your failure and sins, He holds you tight and says, “Don’t worry. I forgive you, and I give you a new name.” And because when you wrestle with God in your anger and fear and frustration, He holds you tight and says those three words you want to hear most — “I love you.”

That is your God.