Better Week 2: Better Relationships

Sermon Series: Better

Week 2: You’ve God a Friend In Me.

Better Relationships

Introduction

Good morning, Church!

I am so excited to be with all you again this morning as we take time to open up the scriptures and let them teach us something new.

I am convinced that our greatest opportunity for spiritual growth does not happen when we are by ourselves, but when we are in relationship with one another.

That is how we grow a connection with God that is Better.

Last week we began a sermon series called Better.

We are convinced that living a life with Jesus is the best way to live, and when we submit to Him, our lives are better.

Last week we looked at the impact God can have in our lives when we begin the new year with better priorities.

When we put God first, the rest of our lives will fall into order.

If we get this backward, the most important things in our lives will suffer.

Today we will discover that the people we surround ourselves with have far reaching effects.

Sometimes it is important for us to focus on having better relationships and surrounding ourselves with others who want to be better.

STORY: In Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, we are given some of the most basic, and effective advice for developing meaningful relationships.

He says: 1. Become genuinely interested in other people.

People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

2. Smile. If you want to draw others to you, light up your face with a smile.

3. Remember names. A person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound to that person.

4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

Treat others the way they want to be treated.

Main Teaching

The truth is that you and I were created for relationships.

We were designed to live our best lives when we do it in the context of community.

The problem is that we don’t always choose the right people to surround ourselves with.

Often, we can do better.

The Bible gives us some practical wisdom for living in healthy community with one another.

Proverbs 12:26 (ESV)

26 One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

The people who live righteous lives are people who choose their friends carefully.

This means that rather than leaving our closest relationships to chance, we make a concerted effort to surround ourselves with people who are carefully chosen.

GOOD RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT LEFT TO CHANCE

The righteous know the kind of person they want to be and choose to surround themselves with people who help them achieve those goals.

The righteous look for people who make them better versions of themselves.

The righteous seek out people who love God with their whole hearts and live it out each day.

Some people don’t have our best interest in mind.

Some people don’t live based upon a desire to please God.

Some people don’t make us better, rather, some can make us bitter.

The differences between positive relationships and negative ones can be compared to the difference between graffiti and an art gallery.

Graffiti is haphazard.

It is messy. It is unpredictable.

An art gallery is different.

Graffiti is chaotic, but an art gallery is curated.

It is strategic.

It is thought through.

The art behind building relationships can be seen in the same way.

If we leave our closest connections to accidental encounters, we may find ourselves being led to places we never wanted to go and becoming people we never intended to be.

When we look at the life of Jesus, we see the way to develop better relationships.

Jesus certainly spent time with a lot of people.

We will call them the crowd.

Though he did spend time there, they were not His focus.

Instead, we have a group of 12 disciples that He did most of His life with.

Even inside of those 12, he had 3 even closer relationships in Peter, James, and John where He really invested His time and energy.

Jesus did not leave his friendships to chance; He chose them wisely. We should do the same.

LOOK FOR GODLY ATTRIBUTES

The only way we can avoid relationships by chance and develop friendships by choice is by looking for characteristics in others that look like Jesus and encourage us toward Him.

The apostle Paul writes about this in his letter to the early church in Corinth.

The reason Paul puts this into his letter is because the struggle to surround ourselves with the right people is not new to us, it has been going on for a very long time.

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 (ESV)

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant

5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Paul is outlining what true relationships, built on the love of God, look like in our lives.

As I read through these simple, yet profound, characteristics, I can’t help but think to myself that those are the kinds of relationships I want in my life.

I want to connect with people who are patient and kind.

I want to trust people who are not self-seeking or proud.

I want to have friendships that always protect one another and persevere through difficult times.

Being aware of the people that are in our sphere of influence and noticing when someone demonstrates these attributes that Paul says just may be the best way to develop better relationships in this new year.

A good friend with these characteristics makes us feel safe, loved, and supported.

Some of the greatest friendships I have had in my life have been because they fit this passage so well.

Many of them were born out of adversity and struggle.

Sometimes we need someone who is willing to come and stand next to us when no one else will.

Someone who will face down the jeering crowds, so we don’t have to do it alone.

Do you have someone who embodies the patience, kindness, humility, love, truth, and joy that are mentioned in 1 Corinthians?

If not, do everything in your power to find folks who do.

Then, do everything in your power to be that person for someone else.

That way, when life throws you the difficult circumstances that often come, like losing a job, marriage struggles, addiction, or sinful temptation, you don’t have to go it alone.

As important as it is for us to be on the lookout for Godly friendships, there is also a very important aspect to better relationships that often goes overlooked.

WHAT KIND OF FRIEND AM I?

The truth is that in order for us to have better relationships, we must also be someone people might want to develop a relationship with.

We must live with a sober self-assessment and be able to answer honestly if we are the kind of people God wants us to be.

If you were to be honest, what kind of friend are you?

Are you trustworthy?

Are you kind? Are you forgiving?

Do you have other’s best interests in mind?

Paul writes about this need for an others focused life in the book of Romans.

Romans 12:10 (ESV)

10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

What Paul is doing here is giving instruction for individuals to live in meaningful relationships with one another.

Rather than just expect that everyone else would cater to my needs and desires, I make a conscious effort to be devoted to others in love.

This word for love that Paul uses is the word Philadelphia.

Sounds familiar right?

What is that city known as?

The city of brotherly love.

Paul is inviting us to love others as brothers and sisters in Christ.

There is a deep connection that is made as a part of God’s family.

Then he says we ought to honor one another above ourselves.

This is the crux of the passage.

Without putting other people first and honoring them by the way that we treat them, there is no hope of building better relationships that are not, somehow, one sided.

That’s why we should be a person focused on others more than yourself.

Be the type of friend you want to have.

Conclusion

Once again, Jesus is our greatest example for building better relationships.

He was the standard for living a life of humility and service.

Through His life, death, and resurrection, He demonstrated how to love others well.

So, in this new year, make a commitment to surround yourself with people who push you toward Jesus.

Pay close attention to the kinds of fruit that your closest friends demonstrate.

Pay even closer attention to your own fruit to make sure you are the kind of person who would encourage and support people who enter a relationship with you.

It is always wise to take a step back this time of year and reevaluate.

Perhaps better relationships are exactly what you need.

Let’s pray together.