Godly Relationships

Introduction

Sometimes we trust God will all we are and all of our finances, but we fail trusting Him in day to day relationships. Here’s what I mean: We often come to church, do daily devotions and prayers, yet we have relationships that are superficial. We are not part of any group where we can join together in Bible Study and discussions about faith. The way that some Christians talk about other Christians is not very Christ-like. The way that some Christians talk to other Christians is not very Christ-like. So how do we establish Godly relationships and how do we totally surrender those relationships to Him?

Ephesians 4:29 NIV84

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

This verse has for us some distinct steps to make our relationships Godly.

Remove Unwholesome Talk

First, we must remove any unwholesome talk. I think it is important that any implies all. Sometimes I have found myself over the years telling a good joke. I am all for laughter and I love a good joke. However, I think we need to be careful when our joking portrays unwholesome talk. We need to make sure then, what exactly unwholesome talk might be.

The Greek word is sapros. There are several key words that can be associated in its description. The New King James Version uses corrupt. Ephesians 4:29

Ephesians 4:29 NKJV

29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.

Corrupt

The first word that comes to mind is corrupt. Sapros means rotten or putrefied. It is corrupt and worthless. Can you imagine speaking to one another in love and the words that come out are rotten and putrefied? Interestingly corrupt is the word that was used to describe what God saw of the earth before the flood.

Genesis 6:12 NIV84

12 God saw how corrupt the earth had become, for all the people on earth had corrupted their ways.

If God thought behavior was corrupt we certainly should not use corrupt language.

Critical

It also includes language that is critical. The word worthless is often associated in that kind criticism. Have you ever been critical of another Christian? James 1:26 warns about that type of person.

James 1:26 NIV84

26 If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

Crude

Another understanding of unwholesome talk is that talks crude. I have shared with you before about a man that came into the tractor dealership that I managed once and had a horrendously crude mouth. Every other word was filthy. The Sunday following hearing him talk that way, I was visiting a church and he was introduced as a deacon. I questioned lots about that church day and I never went back. Another thought here is thinking about things that are worthless and leading others to think on the things that are worthless. Ephesians 5:4

Ephesians 5:4 NIV84

4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

I am reminded as we continue this study of total surrender of a couple of things. Last week we talked about totally surrendering our finances. A test of money is “How am I going to give?” Likewise, a test of our conversations as seen from Ephesians 4:29 is “Am I going to keep my words true and pure?”

I love it Scripture where is it tells us what to not do, then tells us what to do. That is the example we have here. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but…”

“…only that what is helpful for building others up…”

We remove the unwholesome talk and replace it with the good.

Replace with Good

So how do we replace the unwholesome talk with the good? There’s a formula right here in this text. In building others up, we can see the idea of edification.

Edifying

The Greek word is oikodome and it means act of building, edifying, and the act of promoting another’s growth in Christian wisdom, piety and happiness. It is a path to holiness. Romans 15:2

Romans 15:2 NIV84

2 Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.

Ephesians 4:12 NIV84

12 to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up

I see that it is essential in our Godly relationships to be edifying our brothers and sisters in Christ.

We also see an emphasis of encouraging.

Encouraging

What would this world be if we had more encouraging words?

Proverbs 15:23 NIV84

23 A man finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word!

Our words are to benefit those who listen. This was the example of Jesus. Jesus taught the great significance of our speech. Our words reveal our hearts.

Matthew 12:33–37 NIV84

33 “Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. 34 You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. 35 The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. 36 But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. 37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

We should edify, encourage and use words that are excellent.

Excellent

Philippians 4:8 NIV84

8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Are you using words that are excellent and praiseworthy in your relationships? We are to remove unwholesome talk, replace with the good and rebuild with edification.

Rebuild with Edification

Not to sound redundant, but let’s look a bit close with what edification means.

Salt

Other passages of Scripture tell to season our conversation with salt.

Colossians 4:6 NIV84

6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Rebuilding with edification also means to strengthen.

Strengthen

One commentary had this description: “Our words should be as nails fastened in a sure place, words suiting the present time and the present person, being for the edifying of the occasion.” -Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible

Sustain

Speech is a wonderful gift from God. It is one of our human capacities that reflects our likeness to God. When we abuse it, it becomes a foothold for satan. When we use to build others up, we are reaffirming the body of Christ.

Reaffirm the Body of Christ

Promote Unity

This means we promote unity. 1 Corinthians 1:10

1 Corinthians 1:10 NIV84

10 I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.

Proclaim Unselfishness

We are to proclaim UNSELFISHNESS. Philippians 2:21

Philippians 2:21 NIV84

21 For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ.

Are you looking out for your own interests in the relationships you have?

Profess Upwards

Finally, we must profess upwards. Proverbs 15:24

Proverbs 15:24 NIV84

24 The path of life leads upward for the wise to keep him from going down to the grave.

This Proverb reminds me that the upward way is the way of life. The opposite of upward is death. The way we live our lives is to profess upwards…taking the very name of Jesus, being like Him, loving others before ourselves, and developing relationships that honor Jesus and point others toward Him.

We need a call to action. Hebrews 10:24

Hebrews 10:24 NIV84

24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.