Stewardship - The Family

Before we begin, let us go to the Lord in prayer.

Good morning, dear church family. It is a blessing and a privilege to again stand before you this morning to bring to you the word of the living God. As we continue through our 4 part series on Stewardship, I want to thank brother Brian for his sermon last week. I thought he did and excellent job, and his message was timely and convicting, so thank you, brother, for that.

If you have your bibles please open them to the book of Titus, we are going to be looking at two passages from Titus this morning, starting in chapter 1, verses 5-9 and then chapter 2, verses 1-8. When you get there if you would, please stand for the reading of God’s word.

English Standard Version (Chapter 1)

5 This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you— 6 if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. 7 For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, 8 but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. 9 He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.

English Standard Version (Chapter 2)

2 But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. 2 Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. 6 Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. 7 Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, 8 and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.

The task that I have undertaken, is the stewardship of the family. This, as you might imagine, was no small task, considering the family is the bedrock of our society. You see God instituted a few spheres in the created world, each with their own sovereignty, each with there own federal head, and each with their own responsibilities.

We see in Romans, for example, that God has established the Civil Magistrate, that is, the government, to steward and rule over nations, to create and enforce godly law to restrain the sinful hand of man, and to punish those who do evil outwardly. We see throughout the new testament but particularly the book of Acts, God establishing the institution of the church as the salt and the light of the world, with men who oversee, steward, and shepherd God’s people. But in the very first pages of scripture, in Genesis, we see God establishing the first institution, the family. And he makes man to steward and rule over the family. The family, then, is the bedrock by which the other institutions much be built upon. Without families, there are no churches, nor are their magistrates.

We call this “sphere sovereignty” - these spheres interact, overlap, and are designed to work in unity with one another, but they are each independently sovereign. Each subject to God as their head. Each sphere of life has it’s own distinct responsibilities and duties and each are of equal importance.

Now, if you have your bible you probably saw some sort of heading above verses 5-9 that says “qualifications for elders” or something like that, and so you may be asking yourself “what does this have to do with the stewardship of the family when these verses are talking about elders over the church” - and that dear friends is a great question. It has everything to do with the stewardship of the family.

Let me ask you this, what sort of men do you think God calls to be the shepherds and stewards of his family? Well, these verses tell us. And what are husbands called to do and to be to their own families? That’s right, men are called to be stewards, shepherds, priests of their own homes. And yes, only men are qualified for this task, please go read Ephesians 5 if you don’t like what I am saying. Do we think or believe then, that the standard that God has for husbands is somehow less than the qualifications for Christian church elders? No, of course not. Ideally, all the men of a church should seek to be qualified for such responsibility.

As we read through these verses I want you, wives, to think of your husbands. Does your husband strive to do the things laid out here? Is he a man seeking after these noble qualifications? Men, out in public you may be able to fool people. You may even be able to fool your church family, or even your elders. But men…your wives…they know. They know the sort of man you are. Your kids as well, they will see right through any facade you put on. Young ladies of the church, before you ever consider courting a young man, is he a man seeking to live out these qualifications? When you look at his, are you willing to submit yourself to his leadership, and furthermore, is he the sort of man you want teaching and indoctrinating your children? Young men, does your heart reflect what God is calling you too here in these following verses? Young men, if you want to know what it looks like to BE a man, one who reflects Godly character, one who is equipped to do truly manly things, you want to pay close attention this morning. Let’s dive in and we’ll revisit this at the end.

Verse 5 and 6, Paul says “this is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained in order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you - if anyone is above reproach” let’s stop here. What does it mean to be above reproach? Reproach, translated from the Greek quite literally means “blameless, or innocent.” How can one be blameless if we are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God? Well, this isn’t speaking of the heart per se, but rather that no one can rightly bring a charge against this man. He is guiltless of overtly and willfully committing any sin against the Lord. The expectation here for men, is that we are men of good reputation. We know the world hates us and is seeking every opportunity to tear us down, so you are expected to be able to withstand these attacks by being a man of such good character, that the world has to lie about you in order to make you look guilty of sin.

Verse 6 continues “the husband of one wife” - this one might seem obvious but really, it isn’t always so obvious. Men, what does this really mean? It means that you are to be a one woman man. You aren’t marrying and divorcing for unbiblical, unjustified reasons. You aren’t married and flirting with other women. You are a man whose only woman is the one you entered into a covenant relationship with before God almighty and to whom you remain faithful until death parts you. Men this also means you don’t have a “work wife.” What a stupid phrase. You don’t have women “besties.” Men your affections are for your wife alone. Period. Full stop. This is by far the most significant. Remember, the family is one of those spheres we spoke of, the bedrock, the first institution. Husbands if you can’t get this one right, you will never get the others right. This is how you reflect Christ, right? We are to love our wives as Christ loves the church, laying His life down for her.

Furthermore, although polygamy at this time was not really much of an issue like it was in the old testament, and not really what Paul had in mind, any man married to more than one woman who comes to Christ, will never be qualified to be an elder, but worse still, makes himself a family steward with an innate failure he will never be able to work his way out of. Praise God that this isn’t an issue we’ve had to deal with en masse, yet, in our culture of grotesque sexual immorality. But make no mistake it’s coming.

Verse 6 goes on to say “and his children are believers” - This one right here was probably the hardest verse I had to wrestle with. Thankfully, this is an age where information abounds at my fingertips, and there are many other Godly men I can look to who have wrestled with this also. So this is not really the best or most accurate way of translating this qualification. It would be more accurate to say that his children are “faithful” children or children of the “faith”. They are children of the household of faith, growing up showing the fruit of faithfulness, because of the teaching and character of their father. If this meant that a man is disqualified if his children weren’t converted, well what happens to that man every time he has a new baby? A child who has not yet had faith and repentance? He would be disqualified. Right? Until that baby repents and comes to Christ.

And the explanation of what this looks like and what this means is explained as the verse continues. “his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination.” His children are raised in such a way that they are not living lives of wastefulness, or lives of rebellion. They are not children who reflect the spirit of the age but rather children who reflect the character of their father, who is reflecting the character of Christ. These are children who we train up in the ways if righteousness, evangelizing them, teaching them, catechizing them, and who in turn reflect this when they go out of the home because it’s been built into their very fibers.

Verse 7 “For an overseer, as God’s Steward, must be above reproach (there is that word again). He must not be arrogant or quick tempered, or a drunkard, or violent, or greedy for gain,” verse 8 “but hospitable, a love of good, self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined.” Which one of these qualifications would you read and think “nah no thanks, I don’t want that one.” Or which one of these would you read and think “Naw I don’t want my son to be like this.” These standards are ones we would all desire for our children. These qualifications are ones that all wives would desire for their husbands, are they not? Let’s run this list down again. A good steward of the family is:

Not proud or arrogant.

He doesn’t have a short fuse or a quick temper. Wives how attractive is it when your husband doesn’t get his way and he throws a temper tantrum like a 5 year old? Amen?

He’s not a drunk. God never forbids enjoying a drink to His glory, but men if alcohol has control over your life, it’s an idol and needs to be smashed.

He isn’t violent. Now, this doesn’t mean that men should be incapable of great violence. In fact, be able to execute swift and great violence is something men should be able to do. You’re not going to be a very good protector if you’re an incapable, effeminate man. But rather you should never be violent towards your family or those under your care. You should never be violent without good and righteous cause.

He isn’t a greedy, selfish man. We are to be selfless as Christ is selfless, right? Laying down our lives for our family.

He’s a hospitable man. He is approachable, he serves others, his door is open to you and to others.

He is a lover of good. Good as is defined by God in His word.

He is self-controlled. Men, if you cannot control yourselves, your temper, your lusts, your diet, your attitude, how do you intend to rule well over your family and steward well what God has given?

He is upright and holy. This man is a man who seeks to be set apart, blameless, without sin, standing on the law God has written on his heart and in His word.

He is disciplined. This hearkens back to what I just said about being self-controlled. Men you must be diligently seeking to place your mind and body under control.

How are we doing so far, men? Verse 9 “He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.” This is a big one, folks. Men if you want to faithfully steward and shepherd your family, you are called to be a theologian. You’re responsibility is to know the scriptures. To know sound doctrine, and to know it so well that you can teach it. And to know it so well that you can rebuke those wolves who come seeking to contradict it. Men, you must be men of the word of God. If you are not dedicated to the pursuit of knowing the almighty God who placed you in the very position you are in then you are unqualified to be a husband, a father, or a steward of any kind. And furthermore you need to have the confidence, and the boldness, to call out false teaching and false teachers when they come into contact with your family.

By the way, what doctrine? What truth is Paul talking about? The truth that God the father sent God the son to die a substitutionary atoning death on the cross for the sins of His people, and that we are called to a life of repentance of sin, faith in Christ, and holy living. If you cannot teach this very basic christian doctrine then what hope do you have in stewarding raising Godly children? All doctrine matters, but the work of Christ and Him crucified is the number 1 truth that must reign supreme in your household.

Now how we doing? I ask again, which of these qualifications listed here would you look at and have no interest in for yourself or your sons? Let’s get real here for a moment. None of you will be able to nail every qualification on this list perfectly, every time. I mean I do, you can ask my wife. Right babe? We never disagree or argue right? Men these qualifications don’t mean that you’ll achieve them perfectly, or all at once. But they are the standard that we are to model. This is what God expects of us as family stewards and we need to consistently be pursuing each and every one of these things. And when we do fall short, do not forget that if we confess our sin He is faithful and just to forgive us.

Alright so let’s look now at chapter 2. Chapter 2 begins with a returned emphasis on what we just talked about. Speaking to Titus and to the men, Paul says in verse 1 “But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine” Some of you who know me, know that I can be pretty bold, blunt, and even aggressive with my doctrinal views. I assure you I am always open to being confronted, or corrected, if I can be shown biblically, from the text, that I am in error. I encourage you as my church family to challenge me. But know that I am the way that I am because I have a confidence in what I do know. My passion, my desire, is to know sound doctrine. I look across the spiritual landscape and I see a doctrinal disaster. Progressive so called Christianity here, crazy charasmania there, there’s apostate papacy or eastern orthodoxy, or the so called “christian” cults (mormonism, JWs, etc). And that isn’t accounting for the many other false religions.

As stewards of our families, men, we need to know sound doctrine. We need to return to the faith handed down once for all to the saints, and to teach it fervently with diligence to those under our stewardship.

Verse 2 “Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, love, and in steadfastness.” Paul shifts to the older men of the church now. Men with some gray hair on their heads or in their beards. I know I have some grays but he isn’t talking to me now alright, I’m only 33. I’ve been graying since college okay? But he’s talking to the older men…like Chad. Nah nah I’m just joking.

Notice Paul reinforces that these older men ought to have the same qualifications as the men called to be church elders. This is a reinforcement of what I said early in the sermon. That these qualifications don’t only apply to those called to church leadership, but rather to all the men of the church. Because as men we are all stewards of something and someone. Right who is it that steps in and stewards the widow, or the single mother, or the orphans? The church must be filled with Godly men able and willing, even desiring to do the work of stewardship.

Verses 3-5, ladies, it’s your turn. “Older women, (I am making no comments here) likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” Ladies, although the responsibility of family stewardship belongs to the men, do not think that you play no role in it. In fact it’ precisely because of a godly stewarding husband that you should “likewise” do these things. You are the fruit and reflection of your husbands shepherding. What does this fruit look like? Let’s look at that list more closely. Women are to strive to:

Be reverent. This means to be sacred, set apart, holy, revered. Not defiling yourself with immodest behavior or dress. I think of 1 Corinthians 11, which says that man is the glory of God and woman is the glory of man. This is why Paul instructs women to wear a covering during corporate worship, because they ought to radiate the glory of their husbands.

Not slanderers. Mothers and women ought to be honest, not bearing false witness.

Not slaves to much wine. Again we see that sobriety is requirement of those who wish to exercise Godly behavior.

They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women - Women you too are to be theologians, able to understand and teach the truths about God’s word with regard to what? We know from 1 Timothy 2:12 and 1 Corinthians 14:34 that women are not to exercise authority over a man in the church. But the verse goes on and tells us:

they are to teach what is good AND SO train the young women TO love their husbands and children. And in turn to also be self-controlled, pure or modest, working at home. Where is the primary responsibility of a wife and mother? It’s not corporate america. It’s not climbing the ladder of business. It’s home. It says to be kind and submissive to their own husbands.

I know to many of you that may sound offensive. You’ve been indoctrinated by feminism to think that you and your husband are the same. Newsflash, you aren’t. He is your steward, your shepherd, and your ruler. He rules over you, and you submit to him. That is the way God created the family. Now unfortunately, that may sound like a nightmare to women who have had husbands who do not reflect the character we’ve described this morning. That is understandable, but it is no excuse to rebel against God’s created design. For those women, I urge you to read 1 Peter chapter 3.

Older women, wives, and young women who want to honor God as you mature, this is the standard, this is how you support your husband and help him steward well.

Finally verses 6 through 8, Paul shifts to the young men. “Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled.” He stops his sentence there, which he didn’t for the elders or the older men. You and I both know how hard it is for young men, especially teenage boys, to control themselves. They are impulsive, hormonal, their desiring are raging. Any of you grown men know exactly what I mean, amen? Young men you MUST seek to be self-controlled if you have any hope of growing into a life that is above reproach. Verse 7 and 8 “Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. “

Young men, as your grow into the role of a steward, the expectation is that already in your younger years you will be modeling good works for those who watch you, that you will know doctrine already and be able to teach others the truth. And that IN your teaching you will speak with integrity, that you won’t slander or curse or lie but rather that if someone were to try and do us harm, they would have to lie, and be put to shame because of the conduct of your upright character.

Beloved, the bar is set. God’s standard is perfection. He’s laid out for us here in the text what stewards of the family (and of the church) are expected to live up to. And it may seem impossible. And, that’s because apart from Christ, it is. You cannot achieve these standards unless you first submit to Jesus. You cannot maintain these standards unless you submit yourself to the local church, where you will be taught, encouraged, and held accountable.

Men you are stewards. By nature, you cannot escape it. The question is, how well are you going to steward? How good a job are you going to do? Women, you are called to submit to and support these stewards. Do not let these men off the hook. Young men, you have men to look up to, either at home or in the church, and you goals to live up to. Young women, if you have any desire to be a wife and a mother one day, I don’t care how tall or handsome or wealthy a young man is, if he doesn’t pursue these standards, you best run as fast as you can in the other direction.

Church, look to Christ as we pursue these things. Men will disappoint you, but He will not. He is the perfect representation of all these standards and the only one who will never fall short. And if you do not yet know Him, I urge you to turn from your sin, towards Christ, to repent and place your faith in Him alone who can save, and He who begins a new work in you will complete it. Amen? Let’s pray.