Untitled Sermon

Now, of course, the great and holy Apostle could not fail to be aware of this wonderful change, which the Spirit of God wrought in his heart on the appearance of our Lord to him. And we find that it was never for a moment out of his mind. How could it? since he even saw our Saviour with his bodily eyes, and became personally acquainted with Him. What a thing was that for him to remember! Besides the entire change, which that moment made in his life. So too among ourselves, if any Christian person have unhappily given way to deadly sin, especially that most ordinary sin of irreligion, lukewarmness, forgetfulness of God, and then the Almighty, by some turn of His gracious providence, calls that man to repentance, and he obeys the call, of course the person p 128 himself in many cases is aware of it at the time, and remembers it afterwards: one man remembers the sickness which came upon him, and was very sore, even (as it seemed) unto death: what alarm, what terror at the thought of death and judgement came upon him as he lay on his bed, and how he sent for the minister of God, and, if need were, confessed his sins, and so made a beginning of repentance. Another remembers, how his heart died down within him in the midst of his worldly prosperity, on account of the death of some dear friend, or the sudden judgements of God striking down some one or more very near him; how he thought to himself, “We know not whose turn may be next,” and how from that time, he made it his business to try to be better prepared than he was then. Another was greatly struck by some good advice which he heard at Church, or read out of a good book: the Lord, it may be, put an open Bible in his way, and he read something in it which gave his mind a new turn; it proved, by God’s mercy, the beginning of a happy change in him. In short, there is no end of the good and gracious ways, which the Almighty Lord employs to deliver our souls from death, and our feet from falling: to help us, when we, like Israel, have destroyed ourselves. And many of these ways and helps are such, that the persons benefitted by them both perceive them at the time, and clearly remember them afterwards. Many, I say, not all of them. For sometimes God’s way of turning persons from evil to good is so slow and gradual, that not even themselves, much less any other, can say exactly, at what moment and in what manner the happy and desireable change p 129 began: although, after a time, it become surely known by the blessed fruits of amendment and holiness of life. Now, whether the change was gradual or sudden, it seems that when there has been a real change from direct sin and irreligion to faith and repentance, the person cannot fail to be aware of it. His very self-examinations which he practises daily, especially before Holy Communion, must make him aware of God’s gracious work going on in his own heart and life. A blessed and hopeful condition indeed, yet not without its own special trials and dangers, as no condition can be in this world. I wish to mention some of these trials and dangers, and to shew you how S. Paul’s example, if we will attend to it, may help us to get over them. Take notice, I am speaking especially of true conversions, like that of S. Paul; cases in which people have really and truly turned from the death of sin unto the life of righteousness. I am not speaking of those cases; alas! too many, in which persons, going on in some grievous sin, yet dream that they have been converted, because they think of divine things more and more earnestly than they used, or because they have come to take delight in religious services, or in good books, or because they seem to themselves to have faith and trust in our Saviour. I am not speaking of such cases as those, but of real amendments, real conversions. You may be sure, the devil will do his worst to destroy all the benefit of them. He cannot bear to have souls won from his power to the love and service of God; the unclean spirit, when turned out, can have no rest, until he have returned unto the place, from which he is expelled: and therefore he will be very busy with his p 130 snares to ruin those who, like S. Paul, have distinctly turned from sin, and cannot fail to know something of their conversion.

One thing, of course, he will sorely try them with, he will set them upon thinking much of themselves, and of their amendment, as if it was their own doing: as if God had some especial partiality towards them, so that they need not be in much fear of falling: as if He would take care of them, whether they watched in humble fear, or no. Many a sincere convert, it is to be feared, has fallen from his blessed place by thinking too confidently of his own conversion. A sad case, to fall down like a star from heaven, and be lost in the blackness of darkness for ever. How may a man guard against it? Look to the pattern of converts, the great Apostle S. Paul. Never did any man think more of his own conversion than he. But to what end? To please himself? To make himself secure, and confident? Nay, it was always that he might humble and abase himself: not in word, for that is very easy, and very easily counterfeited, but in thought, and feeling, and in very deed, “I thank Christ Jesus my Lord, for that He accounted me faithful, putting me into the ministry: who was before a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and injurious.” “Concerning zeal, I was persecuting the Church. But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Not as though I had already attained, either were already made perfect. Brethren, I count not myself to have attained but this one thing I do: forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things p 131 which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” And in another letter, “Beyond measure I persecuted the Church of God, and wasted it.… But it pleased God.… to reveal His Son in me.” And here in the text, writing to the Corinthians “Last of all,” Christ “was seen of me also, as of one born out of due time. For I am the least of the Apostles, that am not meet to be called an Apostle, because I persecuted the Church of God. But by the grace of God, I am what I am.” Here we see the nature of true humility; that it is in reality no more than just taking things as they are. S. Paul, going back in thought to his own conversion, is humble, and cannot in the least value himself, because God, in answer to his prayers, has opened his eyes to see that his conversion was no credit to him; it was simply God’s mercy, calling him by name, and staying him, when he was perhaps about to fill up the measure of his sin. So might it well be with any one of us Christians, who may be tempted to think much of his own spiritual progress. Let him think with himself, where should I be now, if God had passed me over? And again, where ought I to be; in how much higher a place of goodness than I am, if I had not been wanting on my part to His infinite goodness? O, if we would but take back our thoughts in earnest to our own poor miserable beginnings; to what we were, when our Lord first took us by the hand, how impossible would it be for the best and most favoured among men to indulge pride of any sort, but most especially spiritual pride!

p 132 Again, the Evil one, if he can, will embitter the souls of God’s servants with scornful thoughts towards others. As soon as ever a man has got rid of bad ways and shameful errors, he is tempted to judge and speak disdainfully of those, who still continue in the same sin or mistake; lately, perhaps, his own companions. This is a very bad sign, and would at once be corrected, if S. Paul’s example were attended to. See, how gently and lovingly he bore himself towards his brethren the Jews, remembering that he had lately been, as they were. “My heart’s desire, and prayer to God for Israel is, that they might be saved. For I bear them record, that they have a zeal of God, but not according to knowledge.” “hI have great heaviness and continual sorrow in my heart. For I could wish that myself were accursed from Christ for my brethren, my kinsmen according to the flesh, who are Israelites.” “Hath God cast away His people? God forbid. For I also am an Israelite.” Those, of whom he spoke so affectionately, were all the while seeking his life; they hated him, as they did none other.

Thus the blessed Apostle S. Paul guarded the treasure given him in his conversion against the crafts of the Evil one: he would neither praise himself in his heart for it, nor scorn others who had not received it: his only care was, to make the most of it for their sake. Would you know the secret of this, his good mind? It was love. Because he loved sinners, he could not scorn them, even for their sins: and because he loved Christ, he thought nothing of what he had done, or ever could do, to please Christ. So it p 133 must be with us, if our spiritual affairs are to go right. We must look back on our own natural lost state, and think well Who delivered us from it, until our hearts burn within us. Those who, through sin and unbelief, are yet in darkness, and the shadow of death, we must pity and pray for, and help them as we may: but never lose our patience with them, nor cease praying that we may love them more and more. This is being followers of S. Paul, as he was of Christ. God make us all such, that we, with him and all true converts, having the mind of little children, may abide for ever in the kingdom of heaven!