Power in the Pulpit | Matthew 5:31–32

Intro:Two weeks ago on Sunday night we discussed lust. An uncomfortable topic that nobody in here enjoyed talking about. But Jesus talked about it, so we needed to talk about it. Tonight we are going to do that again. Tonight we are going to talk about divorce. Let’s start by talking about what tonight isn’t. It’s not a comprehensive study of when divorce is and isn’t acceptable. We are going to talk about it broadly, but we are not going on a case by case basis. It is also not an indictment of every divorced person you have ever known, particularly parents. Let me say something very clearly right now. If you have parents that are divorced, do not go to your parents tonight and tell them that I was talking bad about them. That is not what is happening. What we will find tonight when we look at this text, is Jesus wanted his listeners to understand that divorce should not be seen as a solution to to fix problems found within a marriage. What we are talking about tonight, is (1) Jesus teaching on how seriously one should take divorce and when it is permissible , (2) why divorce is even a big deal, (3) and how you can avoid being in situations where divorce is a question.

Matthew 5:31-32.

Exposition: So when we look at this passage, the first thing we see is Matthew 5:31 ““It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’” What Jesus is referencing is a passage in the book of Deuteronomy. Remember, almost everyone Jesus is speaking to here is Jewish. Matthew recorded this with a Jewish audience in mind. So there was a major respect and deference given to what Moses wrote in the first five books of what is now our OT. What Moses wrote was Deuteronomy 24:1 ““When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house,” This particular passage that was being pointed to allowed a man to divorce his wife if he found some indecency. The term in Hebrew refers to something shameful that had been done. Now this is not an endorsement of divorce on the part of Moses. As we will see earlier, Moses probably knew that this was not a good thing. But scripture seemed to suggest it could be permitted. Well, fast forward to Jesus’ day, what was happening , this was being taken advantage of. There was a problem with men getting frustrated in their marriages or getting tired of the woman they were married to, or whatever. Then they would present their wife with a certificate of divorce and no longer be married. Well, Jesus shows us in verse 32 that he had something to say about this.

Exposition: Jesus says in verse 32, Matthew 5:32 “But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” Jesus is striking at the very core of this problem. He is telling the men that this is not acceptable. But how he does this is important. First off, he permits divorce in one case, as it refers to sexual immorality.

Explanation: The term Jesus uses, which is translated sexual immorality, referred to any sexual activity outside the boundaries of marriage between a man and woman. We are not going to get into what might be or might not be examples of that. I pray none of you are ever in that situation, but if you are I think you will be able to figure it out. But this should not come as a surprise that this permission is given. If one violates the sexual exclusivity that is to exist in a marriage, he or she has broken the covenant that was made between a man and a woman. So this is a permission that is given fore divorce.

Explanation: But jesus then goes on to say that those that divorce their wives cause them commit adultery. The judgement here is not on the wife, but on the husband that divorced her for no good reason. He abandoned her. In a male dominated society, unless she moved back in with her parents, she had no way to provide for herself unless she got remarried. Therefore, the man had caused her to enter into this exclusive union with somebody other than who she originally made those vows to. It’s important to note that Jesus is not condemning the woman who was hurt and remarried, but the one who left. He then goes on to say that if the man who divorced his wife for a reason that was note permitted remarries, he has committed adultery. Even if he is married to this woman, he has entered into a union with somebody other than the woman he made his vows to.

Application: The point of what we are not talking tonight is not so you can go be the judge for those who have been divorced. That is not what you need to do here tonight. There are times in terms of church life and even maybe one day when choosing a spouse that you do get to do that. But that is not what we are talking about tonight. What you need to see is that what Jesus is teaching us is opposite of what culture tells us. So often we are taught that when it comes to marriage, sometimes it just doesn’t work out. Sometimes you just grow apart. Another one that is common is, “ Why be with somebody if you are not happy?” This mindset is poison. Listen, the reason this is important to you now, is because one day you may be married. And you may go through a season in your marriage that is difficult. Really difficult. In that moment, you are going to be able to talk yourself in to reasons why it would be ok for you to get out. But We know that is not what Jesus teaches. Jesus teaches that outside of divorce we cause alllll sorts of problems when we chose divorce. He shows us that unless the other person has broken that marriage covenant, then we do not have the reason to do that. And this is not a contradiction of Moses. The word in Deuteronomy means shameful exposure. It could be Moses was referring to sexual immorally as being the only grounds for divorce as well. You now have to decide if when you get married one day, you are willing to say, divorce is not an option.

Transition: Some of you may be wondering why this is even a big deal. So often in our culture we just hear, that it didn’t work out. I think divorce is typically much more complicated than that. But we must not ever approach marriage as just being equal to a breakup of a dating relationship. Marriage is much more than that.

Why is it even a big deal?

Genesis 2:23. God refers to marriage as being a permanent thing. There is no undoing the vow that was made or the connection in marital relations.

How do you prevent from being in a marriage where divorce seems like an option

Transition: What does the Bible say about divorce in specific examples other than adultery. Scripture isn’t super clear on every scenario. If somebody has an unbelieving spouse and the spouse leaves, that is permitted for divorce. But other than that I don’t know. I don’t know if there is an addiction problem what the right answer is. I would advise anybody that is in an abusive marriage to get out. As far as remarriage is concerned, I don’t know the right answer. But I do know how you can set yourself up for success to avoid questions of whether or not divorce is permitted. That is found in Ephesians 5:22-23.

Ephesians 5:22-33.

what a man should look for

Verses 22-24

Men should look for wives who are submissive to God’s leadership as single women.

What a woman should look for

Women should first look for men who love God’s Word. They will not wash you with something that they do not love. (verses 26-27)

Women should never excuse selfishness when looking for a husband.

Both guys and girls should aim to be the person that the opposite sex would want to marry.

Never forget that marriage represents the gospel.

Conclusion: On June 23rd 2018 I married my wife, Morgan. On that day, in front of friends and family I spoke these words. I love you and and I promise to always love you. But I will always love you second. I will love you more than I love any person, place or thing on this earth, but it will always be less than my love for Jesus. I promise to allow my love for Christ to shape and mold me into loving you the best way possible. I promise to love you as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. I promise to love and care for you as I would care for myself. I promise to put your needs before mine and to listen respectfully when I haven’t. I promise to walk alongside you in both the good times and bad. When you are sick, I will be there and when you are well I will be there. I promise to always lead our family to the cross. I promise each day to pray for you and one day our children. I will never allow God to become just an important part of our lives, but instead ensure he is the cornerstone of our family. I promise to be an example to our kids, grandkids, families, friends and neighbors of how a Christian man loves and guides his family. I’m not perfect and at times I will fail. But I promise to strive for this every day until Jesus calls me home.

There is a lot of promise in those words. I promised to be there until death do us part. One day you will make those same vows. You will stand before God and say something similar. You will enter into a holy covenant with another person. Will you stand by it? And will you be the person that allows them to stand by the vow they make to you. How you view marriage and the commitment it is will impact how you interact with the opposite sex now. It will impact your future dating relationships, and it will impact how you act in your marriage. Make the commitment now to honor Christ in your marriage.

Let us not forget that marriage is an example of the gospel. One giving sacrificially for the well being of another is what Christ did at the Cross. But many of you I know have not seen this demonstrated well. I know there are some of you who come from broken homes where vows failed or love faded. Please know, that the love Christ has for you is perfect and unending. Though you are not perfect and have fallen short because of your sin, Christ came and died for your sins. He rose again so that you could have the hope of eternal life. And he is longing to be in relationship with you. Allow him to be your Lord and Savior. If you are ready, come see me and let’s talk more about it.