4. Why Does Marriage Matter?

Introduction

This is Who We Are: We aspire to pass our faith to the next generation. We are a people who teach and model the way of Jesus to our children. We believe the family is a little church. Parents are the primary spiritual influencers of their children, and the primary task of parenting is to lead your children to Jesus and show them how to live for him. We also believe the church is a big family. We welcome kids of all ages into our church family—this is their church, too. Including them in the church is a key factor in their continued faith in Jesus as adults.

Clarify Questions

Can you clarify the difference between a soul and a spirit?

View # 1: Human beings are two parts in one: a physical part (body) and a non-physical part (soul/spirit).

View # 2: Human beings are three parts in one (like God): a body, a soul (mind), and a spirit (emotions/energy).

Since marriage is one woman and one man for life, what about spouse deaths or divorces and remarriages? Was the first a mistake? Are remarriages Biblical?

The Bible gives three allowances to end a marriage: death (1 Cor 7:39), sexual immorality (Matt 5:32), and abandonment (1 Cor 7:15). If a marriage ends for one of those three reasons, remarriage is biblically allowable.

If you were divorced for other reasons and have gotten remarried… Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Pet 4:8).

Speaking of marriage, the institution of marriage is on a downward trend in our society.

In the 2015 Obergefell decision, the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage in all 50 states. Since then, marriage rates have plummeted.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, less than half (46%) of American households are married-couple households.

40% of children born in the U.S. are born to unmarried parents.

1 in 4 children in the U.S. lives in a single-parent home.

More than 50% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. But among Evangelical Christians, the divorce rate is 25%.

Subject: Why does marriage matter? Why should we care how marriage is defined or who marries who?

Body: Why does marriage matter?

Marriage matters because it’s needed to fulfill God’s purpose for humanity. We should care about marriage because without it, we can’t do what God created us to do.

Exposition

What is God’s purpose for humanity? Genesis 1:28.

What is the purpose of marriage within God’s plan for humankind?

Companionship, Genesis 2:18-25.

It’s not good for the man to be alone.

What does the rib mean? The woman is the same kind of creature, a human, but she is not the same type of human. She’s a woman.

Partnership, Genesis 2:18, 20.

helper — not a demeaning term, ezer, used most often to refer to God, see Psalm 70:5.

fit for him — refers to a partner who is complementary to him (like puzzle pieces)… a woman.

Procreation, requires a male and a female.

Notice what’s not on the list of purposes for marriage? Your own personal happiness. Happiness is a product, not a purpose.

Institute for Family Studies - Married people report higher levels of happiness than cohabiting people, with Christian marriages producing the highest reports of happiness.

Illustration: Can’t you do the first two things without getting married? Yes. I am not saying that the Bible teaches that every human being should get married and have children.

In fact, God calls some people to singleness. And the Apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 that being single is a gift from God.

However, we, as humankind collectively, cannot accomplish God’s purpose for humanity without the institution of marriage.

Application: Marriage is a unique relationship between a man and a woman established by God to fulfill specific purposes within his overall plan for humankind.

Marriage matters because it’s the basic building block of a stable society. We should care about marriage because it’s the most stabilizing factor in society.

Exposition — Genesis 2:24.

one flesh — a new family unit, the basic unit of society (like the basic Lego brick).

one flesh — the act of sexual intercourse, it’s limited to the marriage relationship.

Sex unites a husband and wife and fosters a strong, affectionate, and intimate relationship.

Sex produces offspring.

What about pleasure? Pleasure is a product, not a purpose.

Illustration

Center for Law And Social Policy

Children not living with a married mom and dad are at a greater risk of behavioral problems, mental health issues, sickness and injury, and negative educational outcomes (like testing below grade level or even dropping out of high school).

Cohabiting couples that marry are twice as likely to divorce, which is devastating for children.

U.S. Census Bureau says children living in unmarried households are 8X more likely to experience poverty.

Application: Sex is a unique expression of love limited by God to the unique relationship of marriage, which is necessary for human flourishing because it’s the basic building block of a stable society.

Marriage matters because it’s a reflection of God’s love. We should care about marriage because our marriages are a testimony to the love and character of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Exposition — Ephesians 5:31-32.

A fourth purpose for marriage: (1) companionship, (2) partnership, (3) procreation, and (4) reflecting God’s love.

When we love our spouses unconditionally and selflessly, even though they don’t deserve it, our marriages become a picture of God’s unconditional and selfless love for us who don’t deserve it.

In a godly marriage, you have a partner in the gospel. Together you teach your children to follow Jesus. Together you share the love of Christ with your neighbors. Together you help others in your church family grow in their faith.

Here’s a third product of marriage: holiness. Nothing reveals your sin the way that marriage does.

Illustration: I had no idea how self-centered I was until I got married… Moments of annoyance, irritation, or frustration become opportunities for self-examination and repentance.

Application: When we distort marriage, we distort a picture of God’s love (like a broken mirror).

Conclusion: What about love is love?

1 John 4:8 says, “God is love.” Yes. But love is not God.

“Not all love is good.” ~ Dr. Voddie Baucham

Exposition of 1 John 2:15-17.

world — the spiritual world, ideas, philosophies, and desires that are in rebellion against God (see v. 16).

Verse 17 — the world is passing away, it’s dying. But God brings life, not death.

When God says, “No,” it’s for our protection and life.

“Love is love” leads to death. “God is love” leads to life.