Part of Jesus' Family

Introduction

Family is the most basic and necessary subgroup of society for any healthy society to function. There is no free society in history that has not held the nuclear and sub-nuclear family as the most important of all social ties. We see the importance of this in that, as God laid down Ten Words as a basic summary of the OT law, he devoted the fifth commandment to the family order.

Deuteronomy 5:16 ESV

“ ‘Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

This being, as Paul points out, the only command on this list with a promise, it is right for us to assume that keeping this commandment and keeping the family in order was the key to the continued blessed state in the promised land. The NT also gives us similar commands, telling fathers not to be too harsh on their children and saying that if a man does not work to provide for his family he has no right to eat and has even denied the faith.

Wives are told to submit to their husbands, household slaves were told to submit to their masters and Christian masters were told to treat their slaves as equal bearers of the image of God, and elders in the church have the responsibility to set an example of a well-ordered household. In other words, the Bible is full of instructions for having a well-ordered home life. This goes back to the Garden of Eden where God said it was not good for man to live alone and created a wife for him. This shows us that the community of family is an important part of living in the way that God created us to live.

With that being said, it may come as a shock to us that Jesus seems to set aside his human family in this text for another family, a family stronger than familial ties of the flesh. While Jesus does not reject his family duties and the love he has for his mother and brothers, the lesson here has to do with the church. We do not see the church right until we see the brothers and sisters of our local church and beyond as our true family, and not only that, but we also see Christ as our elder brother and God as our Father. John Calvin sums this passage up well:

...this passage, first, teaches us to behold Christ with the eyes of faith; and, secondly, it informs us, that every one who is regenerated by the Spirit, and gives himself up entirely to God for true justification, is thus admitted to the closest union with Christ, and becomes one with him.

The Event

Let us look first at the event we witness here, and afterwards we will see the implications it has for us in our faith and practice.

This was obviously an important story for the first Christians, because it exists in all three of the synoptic Gospels Matthew, Mark, and Luke. We will stick to Matthew’s account and draw any important details that we may see in the other two.

Jesus Family Wants to Speak with Him

The scene begins with Jesus preaching to the people, apparently inside a house. Because the Gospels are not strictly chronological, we are not told when this occurs, whether it was directly after the previous conversation or not.

Our attention is caught by the word behold or literally look. This word is used to draw the attention of the readers to an important detail in this scene, which is that Jesus mother, Mary, and his brothers were outside asking to speak with him. Mark gives us some more of the context here,

Mark 3:20–21 ESV

Then he went home, and the crowd gathered again, so that they could not even eat. And when his family heard it, they went out to seize him, for they were saying, “He is out of his mind.”

It appears that Jesus’ family was there to take him away from the crowds, and therefore from his ministry, thinking that he was out of his mind and that he would eventually get himself killed if he kept on preaching as he was. Chrysostom, the early Christian preacher, accuses Mary of sin here, whereas John Calvin does not on the basis of the faith Mary has shown elsewhere. I think Chrysostom is probably right and we see here that Mary’s faith, though present, was not perfect, and at this time even she did not completely understand the purpose of Jesus’ ministry.

The brothers have often been interpreted by Roman Catholics and even by early Protestants as being Jesus’ cousins, or sons of Joseph by a previous marriage, since they hold that Mary remained a virgin all her life. This is an example of taking a preconceived human idea, and indeed a myth that came about as church history progressed, and forcing it into Scripture. Although the term brother can refer to other relatives in Greek, it cannot be Joseph’s children by another marriage since Jesus would need to be Joseph’s firstborn in order to inherit the Throne of David through his line, and it is unnatural and unnecessary to see these as being cousins since there is nothing here or anywhere else in Scripture to suggest that Mary was perpetually a virgin. Also, Jesus’ brothers are mentioned several times throughout the NT, always as brothers. It would also violate the norm of sexual intimacy that should belong in any marriage according to Paul in 1 Cor 7. That being the case, we can assume that these are indeed his brothers, fellow sons of Mary.

When we read the accounts of this incident in the other Gospels, we can piece together that the message was passed along from person to person until it reached Jesus. Jesus addresses the one who told him with a question: “who are my mother and who are my brothers?” This is a riddle, for the people obviously knew that Jesus’ mother and brothers by blood were standing outside the door, and yet Jesus asks this question in order to unveil some deeper truth. Jesus here does not deny his parentage, nor does he flee from his human responsibilities as a son and brother, but rather wants to use this opportunity to unveil some deeper truth about himself and the Kingdom of God. Although he honours his mother and brothers, Jesus will not have his work interrupted by their doubt. Instead, he will show a new kind of family order that exists in the Kingdom; one that is much greater than blood relations.

Jesus says that His followers are his true family

The first thing Jesus does after asking this question is he stretches out his hand towards his disciples. This is a gesture of familiarity, protection, and provision. He is not merely pointing to them, but showing a gesture that fits with what he is about to say about them.

With this gesture to the disciples, those who not only listened to Jesus’ teaching but had committed themselves to following him, and declares them to by his mother and brothers. With this bizarre statement, Jesus shows the true nature of the Kingdom of God, not merely being a community, but the closest and most foundational community of all. Counting them as his immediate family shows that they have the same rights and privileges as those who are related to him by blood, and even more so. While not denying his human family, Jesus makes it clear that a much deeper and more foundational family exists, the family of faith.

Doing God’s will is the mark of His spiritual family

In verse 50, Jesus goes on to explain that it is not just those whom he chose as his disciples that share in this family, but for our sake he adds that wonderful word whoever. This means that this familial tie to Christ is an open invitation. Anyone may have the honour of being counted a brother or sister or mother of Christ. Anyone may come to share in that family if they want to. There is nothing that bars you from becoming so close to Christ today that you are in a better place than if you were biologically related to him. He offers you to enter into the most foundational relationship with him, one of immediate family. This was more shocking to the original audience than it is today, because we in the west live in very individualistic times, and I bet that those of you who come from Eastern countries probably understand this significance more than those of us who were brought up in the west. Back then, your family was your identity. It was your community and where your allegiance lay. If someone didn’t know who you were, they would ask you whose son or daughter you were, or what family clan you belonged to, and right away they would have a sense of your identity. A family is something you belonged to and were a part of, whether you liked those in your family or not.

Jesus invites us to the closest kind of relationship we could possibly have with him. He calls us to be followers and servants, and yet views us as his very closest relatives. This spiritual family takes precedent over our human families, because those families are temporary, but this family is eternal.

But not everyone who says they are a part of this family are truly of it, for Jesus goes on to say that “whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” When I was in the States, I visited by brothers church and people there immediately recognized me as Alex’s brother because of the similarities we share. Those who are a part of the family of God also share the likeness of Christ. This stems from a true faith in Jesus Christ, that he is the only Son of God who died and was raised from the dead to save us from our sins and bring us into that special communion in the family of God.

John 6:40 ESV

For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.”

To believe the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ is more than merely saying the words of a creed, or believing in the historical fact that Jesus died and rose from the dead. It is believing that Jesus has come to save you from sin and the eternal death that sin produces. It is throwing yourself upon Christ for mercy and believing you have obtained it because his word says so, as Paul quotes from Joel 2:32 in

Romans 10:13 ESV

For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

This faith means seeing the truth of who Christ is and following him by faith into salvation. This kind of faith produces a life that is described on the Sermon on the Mount. If you believe that Jesus has saved you from sin, you believe that sin is something you need to be saved from, and therefore a faithful Christian will not continue to walk in sin, but rather will repent and walk in the righteousness that Christ enables him or her to walk in. A Christian obeys Christ, not because they believe their good works will save them, but because they are saved from sin, and thus pursue that works that bring them into closer fellowship with Christ. They are changed by the Holy Spirit to desire a Christ-like life, walking as he walked and obeying what he and his Apostles taught us in the Scriptures. If you have this kind of faith, than Jesus’ hand stretches out to you also. Men, you are brothers of Christ, and your older brother has shared his inheritance of eternal life and an eternal Kingdom with you. Young women, you are sisters of Christ, and your older brother protects you and provides for you as he draws you into closer fellowship with him. Older women, you are mothers of Christ and he shows the care, closeness, and affection that a good son shows their mother.

Jesus Defines His True Family

Now, let us move onto a few applications of this text, and there is so much time we could spend on the precious truths that are here. But we will limit it to a few of the more important ones.

Correcting Misunderstood Maryology

First, this text corrects a false Maryology that is often put forward by non-protestant traditions.

John Chrysostom, a revered early church father, clearly shows that he believed Mary sinned here, which refutes the belief that Mary lived a sinless life.

John Chrysostom:

For in fact that which she had (attempted) to do, was of superfluous vanity; in that she wanted to show the people that she hath power and authority over her Son,

Of course, Scripture clearly tells us that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

This text also helps correct undue honour to Mary. We certainly should honour her for her unique faith, humility, and godliness as well as honour her for being the Mother of God, since she bore the God-man Jesus Christ. Yet, listen to Jesus words when a woman tries to bless Mary in

Luke 11:27–28 ESV

As he said these things, a woman in the crowd raised her voice and said to him, “Blessed is the womb that bore you, and the breasts at which you nursed!” But he said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!”

The same lesson is taught here; having born the Son of God is no honour or blessing compared with the honour of being in Christ’s spiritual family by faith. Mary being a believer is more significant than her being the human mother of Jesus.

I’ve heard Roman Catholics say they pray to Mary because they think, surely Jesus will listen to his mother more than anyone else. How foolish that is in light of these texts. The fact that Mary bore Jesus is nothing compared to the fact that Mary believed on Christ, and if that faith takes priority, than Jesus is just as willing to listen to you as to her. Again, we surely do give Mary the honour of being the Mother of God, but realize that both you and her possess a much greater honour: the honour of being in his heavenly family.

Seeing ourselves as part of a divine family, with The Father as our Father and Christ as our big brother

But turning to more of the point of the text, we see here a beautiful reminder that we ourselves are part of the family of God. This means not only are we brothers, sisters, and mothers one of another, but also that we are in a familial relationship with God. The Heavenly Father of our Lord Jesus Christ is our Father by adoption, and Christ himself is our big brother, a fellow heir with us in the eternal inheritance we have from the Father which will be revealed to us in the New World. The oneness we have in Christ allows us to be partakers of the divine relationship that exists between the members of the Trinity.

John 17:20–22 ESV

“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one,

This union is fully realized in what we call glorification, the end of our toil in this life and the beginning of an eternal union with the family of God.

This family is more closely knit than any human family. Jesus was clear that, although our familial duties still exist, the Kingdom of God is to take first priority for us.

Matthew 10:37 ESV

Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

When you become a Christian, you become adopted into a family that in this age exists as the church. In the church, we fellowship with one another with with Christ through our love for one another. In showing love, we show Christ. In experiencing the love of a brother or sister, we experience the love of Christ shown through that person. In this way, our fellowship becomes a very real experience with God as we are all now partakers of the same family. We see Paul expect the church to operate in this way as a family in

1 Timothy 5:1–2 ESV

Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.

Christianity is more than just a faith and church is more than simply meeting in the same building to sing together and hear the preaching. In this practice of our faith, we are coming together as a family to show the unity we have with Christ as members of this family.

Ask yourself, what would my church look like if we acted more like a family, the closest of families? Beyond this, ask yourself, “what would my behaviour look like if I treated those in the pews next to me like the closest brothers and sisters? This fellowship only exists in the context of our adoption through Christ, so true family fellowship is had when we worship Christ together and act like Christ to one another. In this way, we fulfill the law by loving the Lord our God and loving our neighbour as ourselves. Through Adam we are all naturally one family according to the flesh, and in Christ we are spiritually and eternally one family.

To Belong to the Family of God, we must do the will of God.

But to be a part of this family, we must pay close attention to how this passage ends. Jesus calls his closest family those who do “the will of (our) Father in heaven.”

Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ

As we’ve seen, this means to believe upon the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation from sin. There is no connection between us if we are not all in Christ. Two branches have nothing to do with each other unless they belong to the same tree. Jesus calls himself the vine and calls us the branches in John 15:4

John 15:4 ESV

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.

To abide in Christ by faith means to put our complete and total trust in what he has accomplished on the cross and in the empty tomb. It means to leave everything else behind, our false religion, our worldly identity, even our earthly family if necessary, in order to be a student and servant of Christ. Only through this life-encompassing faith can we find ourselves included in the family of God, and therefore in full communion with Christ and with each other.

Walk in Obedience according to the Spirit He has Given Us

Therefore, we must strive for the narrow road and fix our eyes upon Christ as we put away a sinful life with all that entails and practice the good works which Eph 2:10 tells us God prepared beforehand for us to do. In this way, we show ourselves to be family members with Christ, when we walk as he did in this life.

Grant Osborne:

Matthew 3. Discipleship and a Lifestyle of Obedience

it is clear that a disciple is identified as one who lives out what Jesus teaches.

We must remember that a confession of faith in Christ alone cannot save, as we saw in

Matthew 7:22–23 ESV

On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

When we are justified, we have peace with God through faith. But this faith is active in our lives. We are no longer of Adam’s sinful family, but rather of a righteous family, so we must strive with the Spirit God has given us to walk in the righteousness that identifies us as those who have trusted in the Lord Jesus. Faith and works are not separate, they are two sides of the same coin. To believe Christ naturally works out in obedience to him. Christ rejected the temptations he was exposed to, so we who are his brothers and sisters must do the same. Christ engaged in the will of the Father, so must we. It is not by these works that we are saved, but rather a saving faith always produces the works of those who belong to the righteous family of God. Carson says it well on this text:

The Expositor’s Bible Commentary, Volume 8: Matthew, Mark, Luke 6. Doing the Father’s Will (12:46–50)

We do not make ourselves Jesus’ close relatives by doing the will of his heavenly Father. Rather, doing the Father’s will identifies us as his mother and sisters and brothers

In the family of Christ, we are under the authority of our Father, God most high. One with faith recognizes this and acts accordingly. This doesn’t mean you won’t fall into sin, but it does mean that the direction of your life will be deeper holiness, both inwardly through constant renewal by the Holy Spirit in our hearts through Christian practice, and in outward works which spring from that renewal.

Conclusion

Let us then take seriously the implications of these texts. We are family here in the body of Christ. In this church we are one of many local bodies of believers in the world. And yet God has called you here, to weather the storms, in good and in bad, in sickness and in health. In times when the church is struggling and in times when it is flourishing. I hope in meditating on this text, you have found a new way to look at those sitting next to you as well as those who serve in front of you. My hope is that you will find peace, joy, and belonging as you serve within the most glorious of families to which you were called, one in which you experience the fellowship of Christ, and one with which you await the day of our great family reunion in the inheritance of a Kingdom which Christ is preparing for us, his brothers, sisters, and mothers.