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Marriage 2
Marriage 2
English Standard Version (Chapter 1)
English Standard Version (Chapter 1)
17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. 19 For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.
17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. 19 For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.
Revelation 12:11–12 (ESV)
And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death. Therefore, rejoice, O heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to you, O earth and sea, for the devil has come down to you in great wrath, because he knows that his time is short!”
And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death. Therefore, rejoice, O heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to you, O earth and sea, for the devil has come down to you in great wrath, because he knows that his time is short!”
James 4:1–4 (ESV)
What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
What causes your marital fights and quarrels? Don’t they come from within you—from your self-centered demands and your sinful responses to your unmet marital desires that battle within you?
You desire and demand your happiness, your agenda, your kingdom, but you do not get what you want from your spouse. In response, you covet—you manipulate:
You desire and demand your happiness, your agenda, your kingdom, but you do not get what you want from your spouse. In response, you covet—you manipulate:
“I’ll do whatever I can to get you to meet my needs.” When that doesn’t work, in anger and frustration you lash out at your spouse—you retaliate: “You hurt me; I’ll hurt you!” But you still can’t get what you want from your spouse. That’s why you quarrel and fight. Your marital issues are ultimately rooted in a spiritual issue in your heart and in your relationship to God. You do not have because you do not ask God humbly. Instead, you keep subtly demanding your will be done, your kingdom come. Even when you do get around to asking God, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong, selfish motives—that you may spend what you get on your own pleasures. You become a taker, a consumer, a demander, instead of a sacrificial giver.
“I’ll do whatever I can to get you to meet my needs.” When that doesn’t work, in anger and frustration you lash out at your spouse—you retaliate: “You hurt me; I’ll hurt you!” But you still can’t get what you want from your spouse. That’s why you quarrel and fight. Your marital issues are ultimately rooted in a spiritual issue in your heart and in your relationship to God. You do not have because you do not ask God humbly. Instead, you keep subtly demanding your will be done, your kingdom come. Even when you do get around to asking God, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong, selfish motives—that you may spend what you get on your own pleasures. You become a taker, a consumer, a demander, instead of a sacrificial giver.
You know what that makes you? A spiritual adulterer! That’s right. You forsake God, your Spring of Living
Water, and try to make your spouse come through for you as your messiah. You seek to make your spouse do for you what only God can do, what only the Savior can do—quench the deepest thirsts of your soul. But no spouse makes a good savior. So you end up turning to a broken cistern—your imperfect, finite spouse—that holds no thirst-quenching water.
You know what that makes you? A spiritual adulterer! That’s right. You forsake God, your Spring of Living
Water, and try to make your spouse come through for you as your messiah. You seek to make your spouse do for you what only God can do, what only the Savior can do—quench the deepest thirsts of your soul. But no spouse makes a good savior. So you end up turning to a broken cistern—your imperfect, finite spouse—that holds no thirst-quenching water.
Marriage is a battleground between two kingdoms: the kingdom of God and the kingdom of self.
Marriage is a battleground between two kingdoms: the kingdom of God and the kingdom of self.
The kingdom of Christ, an agenda focused on holiness and the glorifying of God, and the kingdom of self focused on ones own happiness and satisfaction.
The kingdom of Christ, an agenda focused on holiness and the glorifying of God, and the kingdom of self focused on ones own happiness and satisfaction.