Living Unoffended

Life in an Offended World

If you have elementary age kids or grandkids, you know about Dude Perfect. One of the characters, Tyler, is well known for his extreme antics when he gets offended about simple stuff. He mis-hits a golf drive and throws his bag of clubs in the water. His team loses with a wide right field goal in the last seconds, and he breaks his TV. In reality, it is all for entertainment, but it is all too real in the world around us.

I can promise you, if you’re always looking to be hurt, to be offended, to be wronged, or be angry, you will always find what you’re looking for…We need to recognize that being offended is inevitable. But living offended is a choice. - Craig Groeschel

We Have the Power to Live Unoffended

We have been talking about principles of truth from the Bible that we need to know to be able to live with the freedom that God intends for us. Of course, the topic of forgiveness has to be near the top of the list!

If we’re honest, most of us struggle to forgive others. One reason why we struggle is that we’ve not fully grasped what God has done for us. We’ve been given total forgiveness for all of our sins. Unfortunately, the enemy loves to remind us of mistakes we’ve make in the past because he knows that guilt and shame keep us in bondage. We need to learn how to live unoffended by forgiving ourselves and others.[1]

I hope that this morning’s message will not only emphasize the need to forgive but it will also help us to maintain freedom in our lives by recognizing unforgiveness and not allowing it to take root in our lives from the very beginning.

The Power to Live Unoffended Comes Through Forgiveness

What is forgiveness? There are misunderstandings related to this action, so it is necessary for us to understand exactly what the Bible says about forgiveness. The words used in the Bible for "forgive" or "forgiveness" NEVER mean to forget. This is an obstacle that the devil uses to entrap people in the unending web of bitterness. The fact is that once we have been wronged, it is unlikely that we can consciously forget what happened. Our brains are designed to retain the memories of life- changing events, including the negative experiences.

Forgiveness is NOT an action that absolves the perpetrator of guilt. Whatever the wrong was, forgiveness does not free the perpetrator from judgment (both physical and eternal).

3 Things We Need to Do Before We Can Forgive

#1 – Recognize our own imperfections.

Romans 3:23 NIV

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

Benjamin Franklin is attributed the statement “don’t throw stones at your neighbors, if your own windows are glass”. The quote is actually much older and goes back to Chaucer in 1385. Of course, the saying reminds people not to criticize others for a flaw that you yourself possess. It is a way of reminding someone not to act hypocritically.[2]

Paul reminds us that we all have sinned and are imperfect. It is the perfect place for us to begin combating offenses. We do it as well.

#2 – Focus on the real enemy.

Sometimes you must simply step back and realize that there may be something else going on. I’m a firm believer that the enemy can get into our thinking, and we can misinterpret what someone says to you.

1 Peter 5:8 NIV

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Realizing this can save a lot of embarrassment. The words, the look, the perceived avoidance can actually be innocent but the devil can begin to play in your mind and make you take an offense. Don’t let him!

Luke 23:34 NIV

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

#3 – Live an unoffended life.

Proverbs 19:11 NIV

A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.

Craig Groeschel’s quote earlier hits this on the head….

Forgiving Others

Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

- Marianne Williamson

Unforgiveness damages us. In God’s love for us He knew that unforgiveness was spiritual suicide. Jesus highlighted the necessity of forgiveness in the Lord’s prayer.

Matthew 6:14–15 NIV

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Jesus tells us to do three things when forgiving others:

Last week I mentioned that God’s Word is often like the prescriptions of the doctor. Take them and be well. Jesus encourages us to…

#1 – Pray for those who have offended us.

Mark 11:24–26 NIV

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Jesus' command is clear. We will not experience God's forgiveness if we will not forgive others. Many times we cannot forgive others in our own strength, but once we have a relationship with Christ, He will give us the supernatural ability to forgive those who have wronged us. The fact is that once we realize how much we have been forgiven by God, it makes it possible to forgive others. This does not mean it is easy, but if we pray that God will give us the strength to forgive, He will.

#2 – Bless those who have offended us.

Luke 6:27–28 NIV

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

In this use of the word bless it refers to speech that pronounces or is intended to result in positive circumstances for another person or thing.[3]It looks beyond todays circumstances to the future goodness.

#3 – Do good to those who have offended us.

Luke 6:35 NIV

But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.

God’s people do these actions not so that they can be God’s people but because they are God’s people. Their attitudes and values reflect God’s attitudes and values—because God himself is kind to the ungrateful and wicked, so should his followers be.[4]

Would you trade your forgiveness from God for the right to carry unforgiveness towards someone else?

Forgiving Ourselves

This is an area that affects all of us. It is probably most sensitive to the combat veteran. I have a friend, Rick, who was an armor officer at Strategic Command. Early in the Iraq offensive he was given the order to obliterate a large Iraqi force. Although he can rationalize the need, he struggles with the large causalities as a result. That is an example. Most of us struggle with something we’ve done to ourselves or to others. It is the skeleton in the closet but God wants us to be free.

Proverbs 28:13 NIV

Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

When our past rears its ugly head, there are three ways we usually respond:

#1 – We try to bury it.

#2 – We beat ourselves up.

#3 – We blame others.

Remember this!

Psalm 103:8–12 NIV

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Ways You Can Stay Unoffended

Take the lowest seat.

Consider others more important – honor God, not ourselves; be a servant; don’t expect attention. (John 13:13-18)

Always remain grateful.

Focus on God’s provision, blessing and Lordship. Gratitude changes our attitudes and perspectives. (Luke 22:17)

Give others their freedom.

Don’t attempt to control others – their motives, reactions, decisions or mistakes. It is theirs to make. (Mark 10:18-22)

Make decisions that prompt LIFE in others.

We may want to ignore them, pay them back or isolate them, but speak and act the opposite. (John 10:10)

Trust God with the result when there is real offense

Be silent! Allow God to minister. Release the offense and be FREE! (John 5:30)

Dedicate time to the Lord

Discover the refreshing in His love letter, the Bible. His presence bring change. Receive His tender mercies and His healing. (Matthew 4:1,2)

Forgiveness is the Key to Freedom

God’s Word is powerful, but it only has the power we give it.

Freedom from guilt, freedom to experience joy, and a healthy heart comes through a relationship with Jesus Christ. After King David sinned he confessed his sin to God and asked for forgiveness. His expectation of the results of forgiveness are a source of hope for us.

Psalm 51:7–11 NIV

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.

The greatest example of forgiveness is Jesus Christ. He paid an unbelievable price on the cross so that we could receive forgiveness of sins. Sometimes we do not have the ability to forgive those who have wronged us, but nothing is impossible with God. If we ask God to help us forgive those who have wronged us, He will enable us to do so and we will be liberated from the oppressive power of bitterness.

[1]Christ Fellowship. “Freedom” study. [2] Emma Baldwin, "Those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones", Poem Analysis, 7 February 2021, https://poemanalysis.com/proverb/those-who-live-in-glass-houses-shouldnt-throw-stones/. [3]Joshua G. Mathews, “Blessing,” ed. Douglas Mangum et al., Lexham Theological Wordbook, Lexham Bible Reference Series (Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2014). [4]Bruce B. Barton et al., Luke, Life Application Bible Commentary (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 1997), 159.