Living in the Question

Our passage for our service today comes from the Gospel of John, chapter 20. It’s after Jesus death on the cross and resurrection. He’s appeared to the disciples, and we pick up the story at verse 24.

John 20:24–28 ESV

Now Thomas, one of the twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.” Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!”

Ah, Thomas. Thomas, Thomas, Thomas…mmm.mmm.mmm.

He doubted. Never should have, right? How could he?

He was walking with Jesus, he of all people should have known better, right?

So somewhere way back in the early church they decided, let’s give him a monicker. Let’s call him “doubting Thomas.” This poor guy, he can’t get a break. He’s not even called by his name, Thomas wasn’t his name it’s a description. In fact we don’t know his name. Thomas is the Greek equivalent of the Hebrew תְּאֹם (te'om) or Aramaic תְּאוֹמָא (te'oma'), which both mean “twin”. (Carson, John, 410; see also Arndt, Danker, and Bauer, Lexicon, 463).

So now he’s the “doubting twin.” And why? Because he had the audacity after seeing the horrific display of Jesus death to say to his fellow disciples (who are now claiming Jesus is alive), “Unless I see… his hands, …and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.”

Now, some of you are thinking, “This is a really strange passage to have for a memorial service.” Is it? Especially when we’re here to celebrate the life and dare I say resurrection of David Eby? No, this is really at the center of what we’re talking about during this service.

If we take a step back into what we know of the one the biblical authors call Thomas, there are other scenes which may help us better understand him. Of course he was chosen along with the other disciples, he appears in all the lists of the 12 disciples. We get glimpses of him in John several times.

When Jesus learns his friend Lazarus has died he announces his intent to go back to Bethany of Judea. The other disciples are concerned because the Jews in Judea had recently tried to stone Jesus there.

Thomas speaks up though and rallies the other disciples. He says, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.” (John 11:16). And what happens? They go. Thomas was a leader.

Later Jesus is speaking and says, John 14:1-4

John 14:1–4 ESV

“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.”

Now that sounds like a passage for a memorial. If you’ve ever taken a class and not quite understood something you know that perhaps the hardest thing to do is to reveal yourself. Thomas reveals himself (and leads the others in doing so). Next verse, Thomas speaks up: John 14:5

John 14:5 (ESV)

“Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?”

From these simple glimpses of Thomas we see more than a doubter. An intellectual. One who has deep commitment. He’s not one to grab the limelight and he does not seem one to have wild swings of belief one minute and crisis of faith the next. He appears to be one who took seriously the questions before him, considered the alternatives, weighed the consequences, and took action.

In today’s passage verse 25,

John 20:25 (ESV)

“Unless I see his hands and his side, I will never believe.”

Oh, Thomas. Really? Why can’t you just believe like the others, right? Well, wait a minute. Let’s back up just five verses, vs. 19

John 20:19–20 (ESV)

On the evening of that day, the first day of the week,…Jesus came and stood among them and …he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord.

Thomas wasn’t there. Why, we don’t know. When we take this step back, Thomas, the thinker, the leader, the disciple - simply wanted the same opportunity as the other disciples.

And when he has that opportunity, he recognizes who Jesus is, his doubts are lifted. He doesn’t think,… he KNOWS Jesus is risen from the dead. And then and there he makes a pronouncement not one of the other disciples has put together yet. IT all comes together for him. He says

John 20:28 (ESV)

“My Lord and my God!”

Jesus, not just teacher. Not just leader. Not Rabbi. Jesus is Lord and Jesus is GOD!

There’s a very brief story in Jesus’ ministry where a father brings his son to the disciples for healing, but they can’t heal him. So he comes to Jesus and he pleads, “…if you can do anything.” Jesus questions him, “IF you can?” I love the father’s response.

Mark 9:24 NIV84

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

All of us are somewhere on that spectrum between belief and unbelief.

In my many conversations with David, he would remind me he was a scientist. We had many conversations one lasting over two hours as a beautiful debate between what I knew of the Bible and theology, and what he knew of science. I studied a lot of science in college, but I was no where near his understanding of physics, cosmology, etc. And David knew his Bible, so I was at the disadvantage. But it was a rich and growing experience for both of us as we asked each other questions. Afterwards he was surprised I was willing to meet with him again, actually I looked forward to it. Sadly, we never were able to have that conversation.

David, like Thomas and the father of the boy that needed healing, had his doubts. David, like Thomas wanted proof - he didn’t want to profess something that he couldn’t show to someone empirically, with data. He continued to challenge Christianity - especially the often shallow version of it played out in our culture today. He had questions, and was willing to ask those questions. He would challenge Christian beliefs with those questions.

Catholic Priest and author Henri J.M. Nouwen was a professor at Princeton. He would often speak of living in the question. Not being so hung up on having an answer, but to keep pursuing the question.

In the Great Commission at the end of the Gospel of Matthew, the disciples… hear that again, the disciples… gathered on the mountain where Jesus had told them to go.

Matthew 28:17 ESV

And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted.

Not just one, more than one, SOME doubted. If we’re honest we have doubts too! Our doubts are not to be feared. We can ask questions and we should never be afraid to do so. If there’s anything we can learn from David’s life it is be willing to ask questions. We can live in the question, we can keep seeking, and we must continue to be open to the answers out there. In the Old Testament we read, Jeremiah 29:13

Jeremiah 29:13 ESV

You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.

After Thomas gets the proof he was after, he proclaims “My Lord and my God.” Jesus responds with John 20:29

John 20:29 (ESV)

“Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

Paul wrote: 1 Cor 13:12

1 Corinthians 13:12 (ESV)

Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

Now,… I sort of envy David, because David’s questions are answered. Now, David knows fully as he has always been fully known. AMEN