What is love? pt.1

Intro:

Promposals

Study Dates

Going to each others games

LOVE

long FaceTime calls

Goodnight texts

Walking you to class

LOVE

Asking your friend to tell them you like them

Texting but never talking in person

Parking next to each other before school

LOVE

Written by Jesse Bocanegra

Haddaway said it best in 1993 - What is Love?… baby don’t hurt me

Most people think love is some sort of complex emotion. It’s passion and desire and trust.

Love is ethereal. It’s not tangible.

But the Bible says that GOD IS LOVE - so if there’s one person whose definition trumps all definitions it is God - who is at the core the perfect expression of love.

And God gives us the TRUEST and BEST definition of love.

Prop: What LOVE is and WHAT it ISN’T in 1 Cor 13:4-7

Turn there with me and allow me to read it

Now the text simply explains to us what love IS and what it ISN’T - that will be the structure of our time together - and it will take us this week and the next to get through it - but before we begin I’d like to point out something that occurs in the OG greek that the english doesn’t grasp.

Which is that all 15 descriptions of love here are actually verbs which the english translates as adjectives.

Thats because biblical love is not abstract and its not feelings BUT it ACTS. One author says “Agape should be translated “demonstration of love””.

Our world has gotten love wrong -

you don’t love your friends by FEELING strongly but acting accordingly

But it’s not just our world that has gotten it wrong but the ancient world in Corinth

The apostle Paul lists specifc properties of LOVE that the Corinthians failed to show, so that they would see where they fall short.

So tonight I’d like us to do the same, listen with the purpose of finding where your love falls short.

first by studying what love is…

1. What Love Is

Paul provides the PASSIVE & ACTIVE elements of love 1st the passive……

Patient - long suffering -

Endures injury w/o retaliation

This describes the person who has the ability to retaliate but doesn’t

Actually in ancient Greek times - patience was SOFT. Not admirable, you were to show your power by GETTING revenge on those who wrong you. Same today……

ILLUS: Our culture LOVES retaliation and revenge

taken - Liam Neesons daughter gets abducted and he says what ???

John Wick - Keanu Reeves dog is killed and he goes on an abslute rampage

Mean Girls - Linday Lohan pretends to be friends w/ the popular girls to GET BACK at them for being mean girls… but she was won by the darkside…

Something in us says “When someone is WRONGED - they need to retaliate” so we watch it, we enjoy it and sadly we participate in it.

App:

Mom, Dad - can I go to so and so house, everyone is gonna be there. No it’s a family night. *proceedes to make every milisecond of family night horrible

You see that a couple of your friends are hanging out w/o you - what do you do? SILENT TREATMENT

GIRLS - someone is not caring towards you… what do you do? COLD SHOUDLER until they ask “Whats wrong?” to which you respond “nothing” - JUST HOLDING ON and GETTING back at them

You know what your heart looks like - John Wick

PREACH:

I hear of FAR TOO MUCH DRAMA within this youth group! We must not think we are too different then the corinthians - what a shame that WE who say we have been LOVED by God and adopted into His family where hHe is our father and those around us are our brothers and sisters and yet we FIGHT, GOSSIP, and divide. Why? Not because someone sinned against us.. THATS LIFE… but because we lack patience.

You may say “But Jesse it’s so hard, my parents are OVERBEARING & my friends are IMMATURE - I mind my own business but still get dragged into it. Let me remind you that you have FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE of PERFECT PATIENCE in Jesus’ relationship to you

How many times have you rebelled against God?

How many times have you ignored God?

How many times have you presumed upon His forgiveness?

And in response we find God being patient with us, restoring us and ultimately leading us to repentnace, forgiveness and growth.

This is why Christians are to forgive 70 x 7 times.

patience with others 1 Thessalonians 5:14 “14 We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone.”

O how this ministry and your LIFE would change if we were known for our patience

Illus: Abe Lincoln & Seward - Lincolns indespensable man

Kind

PATIENCE endures the injuries of others, kindness pays them back with good deeds

the root of the greek word means useful - kind doesn’t mean youre sweet or nice but that you are useful to other people, you preform deeds for the beneift of others

think about how this transforms Matthew 5:44 “44 “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,”

dont feel good about your enemies, help them

App: Is your first response to someone wronging you, “How can I benefit them?”

- When your parents are stressed, keeping food on the table - they WILL say things to you out of anger - will you respond with a REAL tangible way to help them?

- When your friends leave you out, call you a name, gossip about you - will you try to get them back, feste rin bitterness OR pray for them, send them an encouraging text and actually benefit them?

Illus: only way across is one guy laying down for the other to walk over him

Alfred Vanderbilt - gives away his lifejacket and dies

Kindness doesn’t feel bad for those in needs, it sinks to let others live

The ultimate example is of course God Himself

Titus 3:4–5 “4 But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, 5 He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit,”

Jesus Christ wasn’t just patient with His enemies He acted in the KINDEST way by SAVING them from sure destruction.

2. What Love Isn’t

Jealous

intense negatives feelings over anothers achievments or success

Wanting what someone else has

Wanting someone to NOT have what they do have

Jealousy is a deceptive and prevalent SIN

App:

Some of you see friends who get into a relationship and instead of being GLAd & SUPPORTIVE - you tear down, find faults and hold it against them WHY? bc you want it

LOVE means you rejoice with those who rejoice

Bragging -

This is the flip side of jealousy - rather than wanting what others have you want others to want what YOU have

boasting and love cannot live together - one wants oters to think highly of themseles the other want simply to benefit others

lacks sense of how it wounds others

Philippians 2:6–8 “6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. 8 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”

Arrogant

love builds up the church and puffed up spirits blowit down

John 3:30 “30 “He must increase, but I must decrease.”

ILLUS: Wanna know if you’re arrogant read IG posts outloud

If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.Challenge me and I'll prove you wrong.Confidence is not arrogance, it's believing in yourself.Inhale confidence, exhale negativity.Stand out from the crowd, even if it means standing alone.

App:

who do you talk about more you or jesus christ?

PRIDE - shuts the gates of heaven

Unbecoming - behave indecently

The word is translated RUDE - but it usually has meaning over immorality specificly sexual immorality

Safe to say - LOVE is not careless, overbearing or CRUDE.

App:

Guys - when you look at a girl w/ lust - you’ve forfeited the right to say you love them and secured the reality that you should not pursue them BC your actions prove you love yourself not them

Self seeking

Seeking your own interest above others is the root of all sin -

1 Corinthians: The MacArthur New Testament Commentary Love Does Not Seek Its Own

R. C. H. Lenski, the well-known Bible commentator, has said, “Cure selfishness and you have just replanted the garden of Eden.

I want to challenge you to begin thinking of relationships NOT in a give an take way BUT at all TAKE. We can no longer treat others as if they can offer us something and we can offer them something.

You were not placed here to benefit from other but to BENEFIT others.

Evaluate your relationships- friends, teamates, classmates, siblings and KNOW this - you are there to help them not the other way around.

1 Corinthians 10:33 “33 just as I also please all men in all things, not seeking my own profit but the profit of the many, so that they may be saved.”

Romans 15:1–6 “1 Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. 2 Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification. 3 For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached You fell on Me.” 4 For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. 5 Now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus, 6 so that with one accord you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Jesus is always our perfect example…

Philippians 2:4–8 “4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. 5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. 8 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”

God didn’t create you bc He was lonely, He didn’t save you bc He needed you, we are the primary and sole beneficiaries of the gospel -

Provoked

Paul is speaking of an angry response to personal offenses

Being quick to anger is of being self seeking - its the sinful response when things don’t go your way

Illus: Search and Destory -

You know what makes my hands sweat and heart beat

BC if i make one wrong move or don’t do it in time - BOOM

App: DO you make peoples hands sweat and heart beat BC one wrong move results in an explosion?

what makes you GO OFF?

Siblings - not leaving you alone,

Parents - telling you what to do

No one likes living w/ a ticking time bomb -

Its not the actions of others that causes the explosion - the bomb is already PREPARED TO EXPLODE

You know why - you BLOW UP? BC your heart is PRIMARILY focused on yourself - so when things don’t go your way - you burst out and do irrevokable damage

Psalm 145:8 “8 The Lord is gracious and merciful; Slow to anger and great in lovingkindness.”

Record keeping

Love does not take note of sins against them and hold it over that persons head, instead they wait for God to settle the score

THE reality is - you live in a sinful world, w/ sinful people, you ONLY interact w/ sinners at home, school, sports & church.

Luke 23:34 “34 But Jesus was saying, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” And they cast lots, dividing up His garments among themselves.”

2 Corinthians 5:19 “19 namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.”

Romans 4:7–8 “7 “Blessed are those whose lawless deeds have been forgiven, And whose sins have been covered. 8 “Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will not take into account.””

CONCLUSION:

Love is an action - love that doesn’t DO something is not real love

300 Sermon Illustrations from Charles Spurgeon Be a Stove that Gives off Heat (Nehemiah 8:10; 12:42–43)

I dislike much the Christianity that makes a man feel, “If I go to heaven it is all I care for.” Why, you are like a German stove that I found in the room of a hotel the other day—a kind of stove that required all the wood they could bring up merely to warm itself, and then all the heat went up the chimney. We sat around it to make it warm, but scarce a particle of heat came forth from it to us.

Too many need all the religion they can get to cheer their own hearts, and their poor families and neighbors sit shivering in the cold of ungodliness. Be like those well-constructed stoves of our own houses, which send out all the heat into the room. Send out the heat of piety into your house, and let all the neighbors participate in the blessing.

Someone who is TRULY loved by Christ WILL radiate love to those around them