Design of Relationships

Introduction

There are some in this room that dream of being in that sweet relationship, there are others that have no interest for a relationship. Some people live life by getting to the next relationship and others are very slow to dating someone.

As we spend a few weeks on dating, know that the goal is to paint a biblical design. You will hear personal opinions and convictions from me, the clearest picture will be what does the Bible say about dating.

When I did a word search for “dating” in the Bible, how many times do you think the word appeared? —— 0

So the Bible says nothing about dating? Not quite. The Bible describes a relationship between a man and a woman for marriage. This design gives us some principles for dating.

Let’s look at Genesis 2:15-25

Genesis 2:15–25 ESV

15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, 17 but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” 18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

We are going to look at the first relationship in the world. Not only was it the first relationship, but it was the only relationship to ever be in a perfect world.

Partnership

“It is not good that men should be alone.” “Isolation is not the divine norm for human beings; community is the creation of God.” If you were to read verses before this, God claimed that everything was good. This is the first time God said something was not good. When God said it wasn’t good, He did something about it.

There is a mini lesson in that first sentence, when God noticed something wasn’t good He did something about it. When it comes to your relationships and you KNOW that something isn’t good, do something about it. Relationships that don’t fix problems will become a problem.

The Bible says a helper fit for him. God’s divine design of a partnership is a man and a woman. Before this moment, it was animals and Adam. There was not mate for Adam. The match for Adam was a woman.

The Partnership is Specific

When we think of dating, we think of the ONE! The perfect guy/the perfect girl. About one year ago, the college ministry went to a Couples Conference. The speaker started by having us write down 10 things we are looking for in a relationship.

Godly girl

Servant’s heart

Kind

Loving

Blonde hair

Blue eyes

Godly family

Forgiving

Beautiful

Funny/Fun to be with

Some of my specifications were personal and some of the specifications were Biblical. God has a specific design for your relationship. They do not address physical qualities but they do address spiritual character. When you think of your dream relationship, consider that God has a specific design for the partnership.

One of the greatest battles my generation and your generation will face is homosexuality. This idea goes against God’s Specific Design for Partnership. The world around will try to communicate, justify, and defend that homosexuality is apart of our changing world. God’s specific design for partnership is a man and woman.

If you search “homosexuality in the bible” on google, some of the first few results will claim that it is not in the Bible. Will you look at

Matthew 19:4–5 “4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?”

1 Corinthians 6:9 “9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,”

There is a specific design to partnership. The specific design comes from God’s design.

The Partnership is Intentional

Is your dating intentional? Is who you date intentional? Is what you do intentional? God was intentional to create a helper fit for Adam. Be intentional with the partnership.

When someone is intentional, it means they have taken their time and they have thought through it. When you start to be come interested in someone be intentional with getting to know them. Get to know them through a friendship. I didn’t believe people when they told me this and others don’t always believe me. It is wise to stay friends while you are getting to know one another rather than rushing in a relationship. A relationship that takes its time will last for a time.

Being intentional means you are careful/aware of what to do in a relationship. We find out that Adam were not careful/aware of what they did in their relationship - sin entered the world because of it.

Be intentional of what you do together and as individuals. In both ways be intentional to keep Christ as the focus fro your relationship.

The Design of Relationships are specific from God and intentional to honor God.

Lifetime

Do you plan to be in a relationship for marriage or for the moment? Look at Genesis 2:24 “24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Adam and Eve made a marriage covenant. Dating is not a marriage covenant, but it should be with the intent to become a marriage covenant. If it is not with this intent, why are you with them?

Some people feel they need to have a relationship for personal security

Some people get in a relationship to please their teenage pleasures

There are many reasons the world will convince you to get in a relationship.

Relationship are not a plan of pleasure. Relationships are a false personal security. Relationships are not your escape from reality. A TRUE RELATIONSHIP INSIDE GOD’S DESIGN IS TO FIND ONE THAT

LOVES JESUS AS MUCH OR MORE THAN YOU

AND PREPARE FOR THE DAY BEING A MARRIED COUPLE UNDER GOD.

A lifetime commitment cannot be made in a moment, but determined through dating.

Closing

If being marriage-minded is still far off, it is probably too early to begin dating or courtship.

PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS AS A CHRISTIAN

If you are not married minded, it is probably too early for dating

Become best friends before girlfriend/boyfriend