How to not sin when others have hurt you deeply.

Introduction

STORY ABOUT HOW I WAS HURT deeply by another person…. and How when I responded well it brought blessings into my life…

Last week was the first half of a two part sermon on our relationships in the church

And Peter is reminding Christians that they have been called to look drastically different from the world in the way that they live out their relationships in this life and especially their relationships in the church

and just like every other relationship a Christian has they are called to avoid sin and to look like Jesus no matter what

Last week we dug into 1 Peter 3:8 and learned How we can look like Jesus in our relationships with one another in the church.

and we studied the 5 Christ like Virtues that every Christian is called to exemplify in their relationships with one another

Seek Harmony in the church

Be Sympathetic towards one another

Be Loving

Be tenderhearted

BE humble

Today we want to look at the next verse in our text in 1 Peter 3 and see what it looks like for a believer to avoid sinning even when they have been deeply hurt by a relationship in their life.

Turn with me in your Bibles to 1 Peter chapter 3:9

1 Peter 3:9 (ESV)

9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.

Story about Being Hurt

The question we want to answer today is what does it look like to avoid sinning even when we have been hurt?

Or

How can I forgive someone and truly love them, when they have hurt me so deeply??

In this verse Peter gives us two exhortations for how we are to Avoid Sinning in our responses to those who have hurt us

Two Responses to Avoid Sinning in Your Relationships

1 Peter 3:9 (ESV)

9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.

OFFER MERCY FREELY

Don’t Repay Evil For Evil or Insult with Insult

Brothers and sisters it is hard to not want vengeance when someone hurts us especially when that pain penetrates our hearts and lives so deeply.

Our Human nature loves Justice when it comes to repaying others for what they have done to us.

We like Justice when it comes to other people getting what they deserve.

We love the verse in Matthew that says an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth”, Right?

I can remember a number of times when my kids were little that one of them would come running into the room crying at the top of their lungs.

He hit me!!! and then the accused comes running in as Well na uh ..they hit me first the got what they deserved.

Peter in this text is Reminding Believers that the way that we respond to those who do evil against us is not meant to be a picture of Justice but a picture of Christ’s Mercy in their own lives.

Look with me at what He has just said a few verses earlier in chapter 2

1 Peter 2:21–25 ESV

21 For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. 22 He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. 23 When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. 24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. 25 For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

Brothers and sisters This is what Mercy Looks like-

The Definition of Mercy is : compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm.

Mercy is withholding the justice that is due, so that the grace of God can be seen.

Think with me for a moment about the Mercy Christ has shown you in your life

When it comes to Justice we are quick to want it for those who have hurt us but we are very slow to want it in our own lives.

Friends we need to be reminded of who we were before Christ offered us His mercy,

Ephesians 2:1–3 (ESV)

1 And you were dead in the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— 3 among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

Colossians 1:21–22 (ESV) NLT

21 And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, 22 he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him,

Romans 3:23 (ESV)

23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

Friends were were lost in our sins, We were spiritually dead, We were the enemy of God,

Do you understand that Every selfish thought you had was slap in the face of your perfect creator,

every sinful action you committed was an act of rebellion adgaisant the God who loves you more than anything,

Friends when it comes to justice in your life the Bible is so very clear.

You and me deserve the penalty for our rebelion we dersve the penalty for our selfishness we deserve the penalty for our sin.

Friends Because of your own sin God has every right to condemn you to an eternity apart from himself in the Lake of Fire.

Why Because Justice demands that every sin be Paid in FuLl.

Ephesians 2:4–5 (ESV)

4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—

Friends God is Perfectly Just- He will not allow any sin to go unpunished, But God is Equally Merciful and this means that that there is no limit to how far he would go to Withhold that eternal punishment form your life.

This verse proclaims that Gods Mercy is not scarce or limited but is overflowing, ready to be extended to all who turn to Him in Faith.

Mercy is God saying I am willing to Pay your debt in full. Justifying your account, Wiping your debt clean.

Mercy is offering Forgiveness even when the other person is still in their sin,

Mercy is withholding the justice that may be deserved because you are compelled by your love for the Father,

Mercy is not repaying evil with with or insult for insult.

To pay back evil for evil leaves you with all the glory, but to show them Mercy paints a picture of Christ’s Mercy in their life.

When we show Mercy even when we have been hurt deeply We follow in the footsteps of Jesus. We are living out the calling to which we have been called

TO exemplify Christ’s unconditional Mercy and compassion for a world who has reject Him over and over again as their savior.

In Our text in verse 9 Pete goes on and says

1 Peter 3:9 (ESV)

9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.

Not only do we offer Mercy and forgivenss but we are called to

OFFER GRACE ABUNDANTLY

Mercy is the kindness you show towards someone who has hurt you, when it’s in your power to punish or harm them for what they have done.

Grace is offering underserved, unearned, unasked for, favor and kindness.

Grace is a gift that is freely given.

Blessing those who hurt us is one of the hardest things to do and yet it is one of the most gracious things offer one another.

Brother’s and sisters just because it’s hard is no excuse for not offering Grace to those who have hurt you, Since grace by it’s very nature is unearned and undeserved.

Again This is why Peter said

“to this you were called”.

As an Ambassador for Christ You have been called to carry His message of Grace to the orlds

You have been called to offer the same Grace to those who hurt you that Christ offers to everyone who has ever hurt Him,

Friends understand that is you and Me

We are the ones who had no required for jesu Christ in our lives

We are the ones Who were rebellious in our sinfulness against Him.

Remember Christian that it was our sin that Nailed Jesus Christ to the Tree,

And without the Grace of God in our lives we would still be lost iN our sin AND SHAME!

BROTHERS AND SISTERS THERE IS NO GREATER GIFT THAT CHRIST offers US THAN GRACE

without the Grace of God in our lives we would still be Dead in our sin, We would still be Blinded by our own rebelion, We would still be condemned to die and spend n eternity paying the debt we owe for our own sins in the Lake of Fire!!

Ephesians 2:8–9 (ESV)

8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Friends God hasCALLED YOU TO OFFER THIS SAME Grace to those who have hurt you deeply

Not because they deserve,

Not because that Justice,

But because it is the most beautiful picture of Christ’s Grace that we can paint with ouR own lives.

Peter in Out text this morning Simply says

When You have been hurt Bless the one who hurt you

When You have been lied about - Bless the one who lied about you

When you have been insulted- Bless the One who insulted You

If we are going to avoid sinning in our response to others when they hurt us then we must offer Grace We must choose to Bless them instead of seeking vengeance.

When Peter says “to Bless someone” He is conveying the idea that you are to confer happiness and prosperity into their life. It simply means that you seek to do good in their life instead of evil.

SO How do we bless those who do evil against us?

You Live as a Blessing Towards them

Ephesians 4:31–32 (ESV)

31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Brothers in order to truly Bless those who have hurt In order to truly offer the same Grace that God has given to us We must search our own hearts first and get ride of every selfish sinful thought we are still holding onto towards that person.

Bitterness- is a deep resentment for being mistreated in the past

Wrath- is a unrelenting determination to get even with the one who hurt you

Anger- similar to wrath is a strong feeling of annoyance and displeasure every time that persons name is brought up in a conversation

Clamor- carries with it the idea to try and stir up other people to hate that person as much as you do

Slander - is taking every opportunity to let speak poorly of the person to others

Malice- carries with it the idea that I dont care about my consequences Im going to give them what they deserve.!

Verse thirty one tell sus how to get our hearts readyt to be a blessing to those who have hurts ans

verse 32 tells us what it looks like to offer you life as a blessing to them.

“ BE kind

Be tenderhearted and

Be forgiving -

Friends thats GRACE!!!

To pay back evil with Kindness is being a living blessing

to pay by harshness with tenderness is being a Blessing

and to offer Forgiveness when Justice is due is Being a blessing in their life.

The second way you can bless those who hurt you is to…

You Pray Blessings for them

Matthew 5:44 (ESV)

44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

How do we pray a blessing for others?

You pray that God will change their hearts,

You pray for their salvation if they are lost.

You pray that God makes their life prosperous despite there evil deeds

You pray for good health,

You pray for their happiness

Do you get the point?

You offer Grace in the way that you pray for them-

When someone has mistreated you, ask God to do for them what you want God to do for you. Thats how you can know that you are truly blessing them through your prayers

That is hard to do when we have been hurt. But remember their is no greater example of Christ in our life than when we live like Christ- Than when we respond like Jesus to those who have hurt us

Remember what Jesus Prayed on the Cross?

FATHER FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY DONT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING? He prayed for God to offer His abusers Grace and Mercy .

Finally to Bless those who have hurt you means that you

Speak Blessings towards them

To bless them means to praise them for what they have done right and to speak well of them to others.

Proverbs 16:24 (ESV)

24 Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

For me it is hard to speak well of the people who have hurt me deeply, but yet when I do Christ is glorified and His grace is on display to those who here my words.

Friends,Jesus knew how hard it would be for his followers to respond with Blessings for those who have hurt them, bUt yet he knew that it is an important part of our sanctification.

When we chose to bless those who have hurt us we come to a deeper understanding of God’s grace and Mercy has impacted our own live.

When we bless others instead of seeking revenge we begin to understand What Christ went through on his pathway to the cross.

But not only does this grow our understanding of God’s Grace and Mercy in our lives,

But listen to the motivation that Peter offers us in this passage

1 Peter 3:9 (ESV)

9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.

One Motivation for living righteously and avoiding sin.

“That you may be blessed”

How amazing is God’s Sovereign Plan?- He knew how hard it would be for our sinful hearts to truly forgive those who hurt us to the point that would could ask God to bless their lives.

and so he promises us that when we share a blessing with others who have hurt us we receive a blessing in our lives.

The Bible doesn't tell us what that blessing is

But I believe that the ability to no longer carry that burden of hurt is part of it

I believe that that the ability to truly let go and no longer seek out revenge is part of that blessing.

Friends, I dont know what it will look like in every situation but I do know that When we choose to treat our enemies with Mercy and Grace and bless them instead of seeking Vengeance God rewards us with a blessing in our own lives.

And Knowing that God will Bless us when we respond like Christ to those who have hurt us should motivate us to let go of the hurt and pain we are holding on to and chose to Bless others for the glory of God to be seen in our lives.

In the next 4 verse Peter wants to remind these hurting Christians of a passage many of them would have had memorized as young Jewish Children,

He quotes Psalm 34:13-17

1 Peter 3:10–13 ESV

10 For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; 11 let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. 12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” 13 Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good?

Psalm 34:13–17 (ESV)

13 Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. 14 Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. 15 The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry. 16 The face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. 17 When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.

Simply Put- if you want to enjoy your life Let God Have your pain-

Forgive those who have hurt you,

Let go of the evil they have caused,

Stop seeking vengeance

and start seeking to do good

~Because when we do, we turn their sinfulness over to God and become the recipients of His Blessings in our lives.

BRING IT HOME

IN EVERY RELATIONSHIP WE ARE IN Our purpose it to BRING GOD the most glory in every decision we make

and the way that we live this out when we are sinned against is to Respond in a way that avoids sinning

avoid the sinful desire to seek out revenge - OFFER MERCY and Grace INSTEAD -

Remember what The scriptures Say” Vengeance is mine saith the Lord. Leave the Justice up to the Justifier

Be an example of the Mercy and Grace that Christ has freely offered you through Salvation.

Bless those who do evil against you for In this you will obtain a blessing.

Pray