Psalm 139:23-24 – 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try (test) me and know my anxious thoughts (ways of pain); 24 And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way. (New American Standard Bible)

Romans 12:1-2 – 1 . . . present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, . . . 2 And do not be conformed to this world, . . . (New American Standard Bible)

God made it clear, we had to look ____________ to move forward

Why look back?

Objections to looking back:

Three Skills Needed for Healthy Relationships

1. Did you learn a wide range of __________________ so you can describe what you feel and what you need for yourself, God, and others?

This requires . . .

✹ ____________-awareness: Curiosity and vulnerability

– Did you learn to describe you inner ____________?

– Were you taught to communicate this awareness to others in a _____ - _______________ way?

– Did you learn about the times your current feelings wee fueled by _____________________ wounds?

✹ ______________-awareness Curiosity and non-defensiveness

– Did you learn to put yourself in another person’s ____________?

– Were you taught to __________________ on their perspective?

Growth Goal: Learn to use the _____________ Words

SOUL WORDS - A Feelings Word List

HAPPY, cheerful, delighted, elated, encouraged, glad, gratified, joyful, lighthearted, overjoyed, pleased, relieved, satisfied, thrilled, secure.

LOVING, affectionate, cozy, passionate, romantic, sexy, warm, tender, responsive, thankful, appreciative, refreshed, pleased.

HIGH ENERGY, energetic, enthusiastic, excited, playful, rejuvenated, talkative, pumped, motivated, driven, determined, obsessed.

AMAZED, stunned, surprised, shocked, jolted, enlightened.

ANXIOUS, uneasy, embarrassed, frustrated, nauseated, ashamed, nervous, restless, worried, stressed.

CONFIDENT, positive, secure, self assured, assertive.

PEACEFUL, relieved, at ease, calm, comforted, cool, relaxed, serene.

AFRAID, scared, anxious, apprehensive, boxed in, burdened, confused, distressed, fearful, frightened, guarded, hard pressed, overwhelmed, panicky, paralyzed, tense, terrified, worried, insecure.

TRAUMATIZED, shocked, disturbed, injured, damaged.

ANGRY, annoyed, controlled, manipulated, furious, grouchy, grumpy, irritated, provoked, frustrated.

LOW ENERGY, beaten down, exhausted, tired, weak, listless, depressed, detached, withdrawn, indifferent, apathetic.

ALONE, avoidant, lonely, abandoned, deserted, forlorn, isolated, cut off, detached.

SAD, unhappy, crushed, dejected, depressed, desperate, despondent, grieved, heartbroken, heavy, weepy.

BETRAYED, deceived, fooled, duped, tricked, cynical

CONFUSED, baffled, perplexed, mystified, bewildered.

ASHAMED, guilty, mortified, humiliated, embarrassed, exposed.

DISSAPOINTED, let down, disheartened, disillusioned, distrustful.

2. Did you learn to manage _______________ effectively?

✹ How did your _______ manage stress?

Write down a specific stressful situation or event you recently faced:

Using the “Soul Words” from the list, write down three feeling words you experienced because of this stress:

(1) ________________________

(2) ________________________

(3) ________________________

✹ What were your __________________ due to this stress – how did you manage the stress?

✹ Managing stress well is learning to deal effectively with difficult __________________

✹ How did Jesus handle stress and difficult, uncomfortable emotions? (Matthew 26:36-46)

Jesus sought relational relief versus non-relational relief.

Growth Goals:

– Know your _______________ response, confess to someone, ask for help and comfort

– Recognize stress responses in spouse, friends, family – invite them to share their feelings and how you may comfort them.

3. Did we learn to acknowledge and them?

✹ Do you notice what a relationship has suffered?

✹ Can you apologize if needed and take responsibility for your part of a conflict?

✹ Can you __________________ a conversation to restore peace and understanding?

The Gospel is one of the greatest examples of a rupture and a repair