Mental Toughness - 5 Characteristics of the Mentally Tough

Good morning church, go ahead and open your bibles to Genesis 37. Question for you, Have you ever felt mentally weak? There are certain situations that seem to overwhelm us, we get knocked down because of family drama or work issues and it seems like we can never get ahead, someone else is seemingly living the life you wanted because you see what they do on social media as if thats a true indication of how their life is going. Have you ever wondered why some people can get back up after enduring hardships and move forward and not let it over take them? What do they do differently? Is it because they can navigate through life better? Are they smarter? More intelligent, physically stronger? In some cases maybe, but the differential factor isn't physical, it's mental. It’s having Mental Toughness.

But how would you define mental toughness? This is what we mean: Mental toughness: the ability to confront and overcome challenges, adversity, or setbacks with resilience and determination. We all have faced or will face challenges, adversity or setback in our lives, but will we make life happen or let life happen to us? More than that, what is God trying to teach us in the moments of challenges, adversity or setbacks that will propel us forward in life to fulfill what God has called us to do? Mentally tough people look at the big picture.

In fact many of us cannot begin to be mentally tough until we step back and ask ourselves and ask God, what is the big picture? We can get so focused on where we are at, get stressed, anxiety, depression and get overwhelmed with what's in front of us that we forget that God has a bigger picture in mind for your life. Don't get me wrong I am not saying that there won't be situations that overwhelm us, there will be, I am not saying that if you are depressed, or have mental health diagnoses, you should just pray more, that's not it, in fact if you are apart of a church that tells you don't have enough faith to get healed i’d say find another church. I’m not saying if you endure hard suffering just pick yourself up by your bootstraps, this message isn't focused on tackling those major, life altering, faith shaking moments, we will get to that in the coming weeks, and how even in that we can move forward mentally though and rooted in our faith. Instead today we are going to look at how we can have grit, mental toughness in the day to day of life.

I want to walk through the life story of a man named Joseph that we see in Genesis, how God ordained his steps, without Joseph knowing the end result, but in the midst of the life that Joseph is living he had to endure hardships that required mental toughness. We are going to look at the perspective of Joseph who does not know the ending of his own story. Because that's one of the things that we often forget when we read the bible, that we have the pleasure of reading the whole story and knowing the ending, but we forget that Joseph still had to live his life like we do, day to day. So we are going to look at his story from his perspective, and then we are going to look at it from God’s perspective and see how Joseph had to endure mental toughness and if he didnt, he would have missed what God planned for him. In fact this is something I want you to see this, four different times, in four major moments in joseph's life the text tells us, “The Lord was with Joseph”

We are going to cover a lot in this message, going to be fast and furious. It says this 2 This is the account of Jacob’s family line. Joseph, a young man of seventeen, was tending the flocks with his brothers, the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his father’s wives, and he brought their father a bad report about them. 3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons,because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made an ornate robe for him.Genesis 37:2-3 The first thing we learned about Joseph was that he was 17 years old. How many of you would dare to say that you had everything figured out at 17? Depending on which you're asking, if I asked the 17 year old you, of course you got it figured out, you are almost finished with high school working, maybe going to college you have it all figured out, life is ahead of you and it's all promise no pain. If I asked the 30, 40, 50 year old you…of course you didn't. When I was 17 my mental toughness was getting through practice and homework, when I was 25 it was finding out my sons have heart defects, and how that would impact them long term, 28 my wife going through mold poisoning, at 35 idk what it will be. But here is what I know about mental toughness isn't made in the moment, it's like any other muscle, it has to be put to the test in order to grow.

But Joseph is 17, we also learn that Joseph is a snitch, and growing up you know the phrase snitches get..what…stitches, or in this case, sold into slavery. He told his brothers, he brought a bad report to his dad. He is the youngest, he's a snitch, and he is his fathers favorite son. I have 4 kids, and I can't say I have a favorite…yet. Jacob made sure everyone knew Joseph was his favorite, Joseph had a coat of many colors, he didn't have to work out in the field, he was seen as an overseer of his older brothers. But then it gets worse for Joseph because God has given Joseph a dream. 5 Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. 6 He said to them, “Listen to this dream I had: 7 We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it.”8 His brothers said to him, “Do you intend to reign over us? Will you actually rule us?” - Genesis 37: 5-8 And they hated him all the more because of his dream and what he had said. That sounds like a good dream if you are Joseph, not if you are one of his older brothers.

But once again, Joseph does not have any emotional or situational awareness, he was 17,  because we just read his brothers hated him more, he didn't feel the tension. Yet he tells them another dream. 9 Then he had another dream, and he told it to his brothers. “Listen,” he said, “I had another dream, and this time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.” So tension settles, and Jacob tells Joseph to go on meet your brothers and bring me a report. As Joseph is far off, his brothers see him mock him and come up with the idea to kill him.

Sometimes being placed in situations where you have to be mentally tough is your doing, or someone else's doing, decisions or sin against you. They wanted to kill him but as he got closer, his brothers had a change of mind. Instead of killing him, they are going to throw him into a pit, and then decide what to do with him. That's what happens, they jump him, take his robe and chuck him in a hole, and as the brothers are having lunch, slave owners are traveling. Judah said to his brothers, “What will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? 27 Come, let’s sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him; after all, he is our brother, our own flesh and blood.” His brothers agreed. Genesis 37:26-27. They take his coat, slaughter a goat, put the blood all over it and tell their father joseph was killed by an animal. Meanwhile, Joseph is sold to a man named Potiphar.  Now Joseph had been taken down to Egypt. Potiphar, an Egyptian who was one of Pharaoh’s officials, the captain of the guard, bought him from the Ishmaelites who had taken him there.2 The Lord was with Joseph so that he prospered, and he lived in the house of his Egyptian master. Genesis 39:1-2

It says that God was with Joseph, and that in his new circumstances joseph prospered. He worked hard for Potiphar for the next 10 years. I guarantee you if Joseph was anything like you or me  the first question he is asking is God Why? What the point of all of this, I don’t deserve this, I didn't see this coming. But we know that God was with him, and he moved his questions from God why me, to God what's next? Which teaches us two characteristics about mentally tough people, 1: View obstacles as a challenge not as a paralyzing event. 2: Focus on what is in their control. I was at a job in North Carolina, in January 2021 when for the first time in my life I was fired. Many events led to this decision, specifically the leadership at the church was in sin and I called it out. So on the day I called my dad, he told me, come on home. Then I called my wife Kalree, I said “hey i'm coming home, she said, oh your coming home early great! I said yep, I was just fired. In that moment I knew she was scared, and she asked, “What are we going to do? I said, Start Packing, 3 weeks later we were all moved back out of north carolina and back in Arizona.

We could have be paralyzed in fear, we could have chosen to be overwhelmed. In fact I’m sure Karlee was for a moment, but, and she will tell you, I don’t play the what if game, some of y'all know what i’m talking about, what if this..what if that…in fact many times karlee is worried about some medical issue with her or the kids and she goes…what if its bad…then it is and we deal with it one step at a time. That's just how I focus, but for someone struggling with mental toughness, you have to not be paralyzed by events, and then realize you can only control your next step. Don’t try to figure out the ending, pray, ask God, be wise, what is the next step I need to take even if I am in a crappy situation.

Joseph did that, he was a slave he worked his way up the org chart of Potiphar's house and eventually oversaw everything and everyone, Potiphar's only worry was what he was going to eat, and his only rule to Joseph. Dont touch my wife. We don't know her name at all, but I tend to call her Hotiphar. And she had the Hots for Joseph as scripture tells us in verse 6, that Joseph was well built and handsome. If Joseph was a kit kat Hotifphar wanted to break off a piece. In verse 7 she reminds us of what Solomon describes as a proverbs 7 woman. You’ve heard of a proverb 31 type woman, but here we have a proverbs 7 woman as she tries to coerce Joseph to sleep with her. But here is something else we learn about mentally tough people 3: They don’t move on from their convictions. Mental fortitude to say no when others say yes. Sometime you are going to be placed in situations where it will be easier for you to deny your convictions, at work…no ones looking, I can cheat on the report, tax season is coming up, I don't have to tell the truth there, offer under the table, why not. Mentally tough people do not move on from their convictions. Joseph remained strong but day after day Hotiphar tried to make him break. Finally she makes a plan, tells everyone to leave the house, it is quiet, and she jumps out and grabs Joseph by the cloak and says “lets do it” and he runs out so fast his cloak behind. So hotiphar has to explain to her husband why another man's cloak is in her possession so she makes up a story about how “Joseph tried to sleep with her but she screamed and thats why he ran out and that's why I have his cloak so my dear husband, you brought him to us, what are you going to do about it?”

Joseph at this point had served diligently for 10 years in a circumstance he was forced into, he did everything right, he was mentally tough when we could have called it quits and played the victim card. But even inside of all of that, another life altering change was about to happen because of someone else's evil motives. So Potiphar, may have had an inkling of doubt in his wife's story because he doesn't kill him, but rather throws him in prison. 20 Joseph’s master took him and put him in prison, the place where the king’s prisoners were confined.But while Joseph was there in the prison, 21 the Lord was with him;he showed him kindness and granted him favor in the eyes of the prison warden. 22 So the warden put Joseph in charge of all those held in the prison, and he was made responsible for all that was done there. 23 The warden paid no attention to anything under Joseph’s care, because the Lord was with Joseph and gave him success in whatever he did. - Genesis 39:20-23

So once again, Joseph is placed into a hard situation he can’t control, and wasn't even in how own doing. Yet he remained mentally tough, he didn't sulk and say “woe is me” to use his circumstances as an opportunity, controlled only what he can control, and he stayed true to his beliefs for he knew that God was with him. So over a few years, Joseph climbed the ladder in prison and eventually he was placed in charge by the warden over all the prisoners…now in both instances we see he did the 4th thing I know mentally tough people do, he 4: Understand the importance of his attitude. Nothing ruins your day, week, year and your mind like a bad attitude. It changes everything including your outlook on any situation.

As Joseph is in prison, years go by, and the head cupbearer and the head baker for the Pharaoh of Egypt are thrown into prison. Joseph gets to know them, gets to talk with them, and both of them wake up one morning distraught because of the dreams they had the previous night. But Joseph knows a thing or two about dreams. Joseph asks them to tell him their dreams as God will interpret it for them, the cup bearer says “there were three branches in front of me, and the three branches had grapes and I picked them, put them in a cup and gave the cup to Pharaoh.” God revealed through Joseph the good news! In three days, you're going to be restored back to your position in the palace. In return for this interpretation Joseph asks one thing, when you get restored back to your position, tell the Pharaoh about me. Let him know I have done nothing wrong to be here in fact I did nothing wrong in the first place I was just sold into slavery. So for saving your life remember me.

Upon hearing this good news the chief baker is excited to hear what his dream means. I had a dream there were three baskets on my head and they were filled with Pharaohs favorite food and birds came and ate it up. What does this mean? Joseph tells him, in three days…you will be beheaded and birds will eat your flesh. So do me a favor…do not mention my name at all.

Three days later what was dreamed became a reality, the cupbearer is restored, the chief baker gets killed, and joseph…well he gets forgotten. But as far as we can tell…his attitude didn't change. Here is what we expect if we are honest, if we do something good for others in our time of need they in turn will honor us…but what happens when that doesn't happen? Do we get bitter? Do we say we never catch a break…how does that change your attitude?

For two more years Joseph is waiting for his release, praying I'm sure to be remembered. And two years ago Pharaoh had a dream about cows. Skinny cows are eating fat cows, and dying grain is eating good grain. Weird dream. And he calls everyone in his court or him and asks if anyone can interpret it. Then the Cupbearer remembers Joseph. Pharaoh do you remember when you threw me in prison? Rightfully might I add, but you were gracious to me and restored me, well in the prison I met a man named Joseph and he interpreted my dream, and I think he can interpret yours. So they bring Joseph to the Pharaoh. And Joseph interprets the dream that many of you know, that for seven years there will be prosperity and abundance in the land but for 7 years after that, absolute decay and famine, everyone will forget the years of abundance.

Pharaoh is worried and asks what are we to do? And Joseph says, “there has to be someone who is wise and discerning enough to see the abundance and store it up for when the famine hits there will be food in the land, and I believe I should be the guy.” 39 Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Since God has made all this known to you, there is no one so discerning and wise as you.40 You shall be in charge of my palace, and all my people are to submit to your orders. Only with respect to the throne will I be greater than you.” Genesis 41:39-40 Only with the respect of the throne will I will greater than you, no one will move a muscle unless you tell them. When the famine came the Pharaoh pointed people to Joseph to get food.

Here is what interesting about Joseph's story and if you’ve ever experienced Joseph like situations, its seems like set back after set back, but you remind mentally tough, you didn’t let the moments overtake you but you focused on what you could control,  kept a faithful attitude, you viewed them as challenges to overcome,You're setbacks are actually setups for what God has in-store for you.

Joseph had dreams his dream interpretation would come in handy to save the nation of Egypt 15 years later and didn't know it. He was sold to potiphar, learned how to not just run a household but a business for 10 years and excelled at it. Then he was placed into prison where we already know Pharoah placed high officials and others who would know how the inner workings of Egypt are, Joseph was in charge of it, most scholars believe it was in prison he learned about the politics in egypt which set him up to oversee a massive operation of storing up abundance in time of famine. But if Joseph sulked, if he gave up, if he played the victim, if he didn't have mental toughness, listen, he never would have done what God was preparing him for. (fill in, your story, etc)

Lastly, Mentally tough people: They don't live in the past. Eventually over a course of time the Famine hit Joseph's brothers and family back home. So they go to Egypt to get food, and after a few events it is revealed that this ruler in Egypt is the same brother who they sold into slavery. And her realizes now that God ordained his steps, was with him the entire way so that he can save egypt and his family almost 20 years later. God had been with him the entire time. In the pit, God was with him, being sold into slavery God was with him, At potiphar's house, God was with him, in prison God was with him, ruling over Egypt God was with him. His setbacks were setups for God had planned for him, and never once did Joseph live in the past. He refused to let life happen to him, he took responsibility for what was before him and in doing so, God used him mighty. To set off a chain of events that ultimately would lead to Jesus arriving on this earth.

So let's look at our Definition again: Mental toughness is the ability to confront and overcome challenges, adversity, or setbacks with resilience and determination. How can we do this, because you know that God is with you the entire time.

5 Characteristics of Mentally Tough People: Grade yourself 1-10 on each of these

​​View obstacles as a challenge not as a paralyzing event.

Focus on what is their control

Don’t move on from their convictions

Understand the importance of their attitude

They don't live in the past