Me Before We

Greeting

Today we kick off a new teaching series called, Relationship Rehab.

I am excited about this series for many reasons. In this series we are going to have a very different approach to our messages from what you are used to.

If you call Lighthouse your home, you know that I predominantly teach from the Bible by reading a verse or passage, and then I will exegete the scripture, and then I will tell you why it matters and even give you some ways for you to apply the scriptures to your life.

In a series like this, we’re taking what is called a Topical Approach. That means, we have a topic in mind that we want to talk about, and we’ll turn to the Bible to see what the Bible has to say about that topic. So the order is a bit different, but the intended result is the same.

The expectation is that you will see Christ as actively working in our world, and that the way of Jesus is better than the way of the world.

And so I want to give us a foundational verse for this series, and then make a statement as to why we are going to teach the way that we are going to teach.

1 Peter 3:15 (NIV)

But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.

And let me take this one step further and let you know that we are going to tackle tough topics and teach hard truths.

When you baby Christians you get baby Christians.

Me Before We

As I look at the landscape of our society and the markers of our culture, I am growing concerned about how people find their identity. To say it differently, I believe that identity is under attack.

There was a time when the prevailing idea about our identity began with God.

Genesis 1:26 (NIV)

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness…”

This idea that identity begins with God is coupled with the belief that we are created by God.

Psalm 139:14 (NIV)

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

The Christian belief is not that we are a cosmic accident or the random result of a one night hook-up, but that God has made us, he has formed us, he gifts us, he equips us, and the calls us.

The Counterfeit

And so as we accept this truth, and hold fast to this belief, we also need be aware that whatever God creates, the world counterfeits.

So the world will be in conflict with the word and it is going to pull people away from God’s word, and often times without them even knowing it.

Why?

Because there is a famine of God’s word. But not so in Vista. We are going to proclaim God’s word, and we are going to teach God’s word, and we are going to do it with gentleness and respect.

Sexual Revolution

So if you are wondering, what is the counterfeit to our identity in Christ? I’m going to show you that it is the Sexual Revolution that began in the 1960’s and it has been steadily morphed into other present day movements that are eating away at the identity of Gen X and millennials, and it is being most felt in Gen Z today.

You might be asking how so? Let me give you the two tenants of the sexual revolution:

Two Tenants of the Sexual Revolution

Your sexual desires are your core identity.

Fulfillment is found in unrestricted sexual expression.

Everyone awake now? We got your attention now?

Let’s unpack the tenants and hold them up to the word of God.

Your sexual desires are your core identity.

The sexual revolution is trying to anchor your identity off of the desires that you feel. And, if they can get you to believe that your desires shape your identity, then your activity should follow that identity.

But here is the logical issue that we encounter with that. We all will have a range of desires that we are going to experience over time. I want you to think about some of the desires that you have had. Some of you, think back to your desires during your adolescence. How about your desires in high school. Our desires shift.

As a Youth Pastor I would talk to and counsel young people and I would often hear them tell me, “but this is who I am.” And boy the cynical side of me… let me tell you. I’d see girls tell me “this is who I am,” and I would see different versions of who they are based off of the guy that their parents let them date.

If they were dating a guy into church, then they’d be all in with church and youth group.

If they dated guys that wasn’t into church, guess who all of a sudden is sitting in the back during youth group now.

They’d tell me, “this is who I am,” but their desires shifted by external influences.

As a matter of fact, so much of the desires that people have are a result of their environment, and they falsely attribute it to being internal. It’s the nature versus nurture cycle all over again.

Here’s something that you need to think about, the rate of Gen z in the LGBTQIA movement has skyrocketed compared to previous generations, and yet the rate of same sex attraction is flat among Gen Z as it was in previous generations.

That is how you know that it is a movement born out of the sexual revolution. It is nurturing identity and causing people to believe that it is nature.

I want to add to this conversation that Gender Identity, what a person perceives - themself to be male or female, is heavily influenced by Gender Stereotypes.

What are Gender Stereotypes?

If a girl likes football, or maybe she’s on the wrestling team, and she likes to watch action movies, then she should naturally have a same sex attraction.

If a boy likes dance or if he wants to be in color guard or cheerleading, then he will have a same sex attraction.

These are gender stereotypes, and when a young boy or girl is fed these stereotypes and then what they see on social media feeds that, they feel as though there is something wrong with them.

My wife once counseled a girl who came to her and she was about eight years old and she told my wife, “I think I am gay.” When my wife asked her why the girls said, “Well I don’t like boys.” To which my wife told her, “at your age it’s OK to not like boys! That doesn’t make you gay, and I’m sure your Dad would love to know this about you.”

Do you understand how Gender Stereotypes can get a generation confused?

So let me just say this, as a culture we need to broaden our Gender Stereotypes. And if you are a girl who like to watch football, pound down steaks, and watch action movies, that doesn’t make you weird that makes you awesome!

But let me anchor this in truth now. Our identity is not rooted in our desires, but our identity needs to be rooted in Christ.

1 Corinthians 6:9–11 (NIV)

Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

Let me pause here before I go on to the next slide to define sexual immorality means. When Paul uses the words sexual immorality he is using the greek word porneia. It is the same root word that we get the word porn from. It is a word that means any sexual expression outside marriage between a husband and wife’s marriage. Jesus said even if you look at a woman listfully, you’ve committed the act in your heart. So that includes looking lustfully at someone other than your spouse, sex before marriage, watching pornography, sexual cohabitation before marriage, masturbation, and sexualizing yourself for the purpose of attracting others.

And if some of you are wondering, “why does Pastor have to say all of that?” that’s because some of you are great judges of other people’s wins and great defense lawyers when it comes to your sin.

1 Corinthians 6:11 NIV

And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

So here’s the good news everyone, all those things that we said before, that’s who we used to be. That is who we are before we received Christ. Now, we have received Christ and we aren’t our past, we not our sins, and we are not our desires. We are sons and daughters of God.

We anchor our identity in Christ.

When you anchor your identity in Christ, then only Jesus gets to tell you who you are.

Stop defining yourself by what you’ve done, and start defining yourself by what Jesus did for you.

Your deepest identity is a Child of God.

Fulfillment is Found in Sexual Expression

We’ve already said so much about this, but let me show you what God’s word says about this.

1 Corinthians 6:18–20 (NIV)

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Fulfilling sexual expression outside of God’s plan for you deforms your body.

We teach here that we are either being formed into the image of God, or we are being deformed by the world. So the falsely world tells you, express yourself however you want to! It’s your life!

But when we anchor ourselves in the word of God we read the truth, and the truth is that our bodies belong to God. You are not your own.

You didn’t create your body, you didn’t redeem your body and you won’t resurrect your body.

But let me tell you about our God. He created us. He redeemed us through the death of His son. And when this earth is passed is will be Him who resurrects us.

God has gifted sex to a husband and wife to be enjoyed within the covenant of marriage.

We see it in Genesis when he creates Eve for Adam and commanded them to make babies.

When you read the Song of Solomon the imagery of sex is detailed in an entire chapter.

1 Corinthians 7 verses 3 and 5 is great reading material for husbands and wives. I think husbands will especially enjoy it.

Don’t let the world hijack and counterfeit a beautiful thing that God has created.

The Truth about the Sexual Revolution

Before I close I want to tell you what has happened since the Sexual Revolution and the movements that have been birthed from this.

Since this movement began, happiness in every generation has decreased and Gen Z is the least happiest generation since then.

We have seen divorce steadily increase each decade.

This has led to the Fatherless epidemic. The fatherless epidemic then gives way to increased incarceration, alcohol and drug addiction, and broken homes.

Fathers, your home needs you.

Porn has become a multi billion dollar industry.

This has negatively impacted marriages and has opened doors to child pornography and sex trafficking

Cohabitation before marriage increases divorce by 50%

Cohabitating isn’t practicing for marriage, it’s practicing for divorce.

More sexual partners before marriage leads to less happiness within the marriage.

All of this information is out there church.

The data is overwhelming.

And people are waking up to realizing that God’s word had it right all along. God’s word had it right all along.

And before you think about entering into the covenant of marriage, I want to make sure that you are anchored to Christ, and that you find your identity in Him.

Your identity is not in anything, or any other person. It needs to be in Him.

Listen to me Lighthouse, God’s word is not prison bars. They are railroad tracks. When you live in alignment with the word it’s going to keep you from making a train wreck of your life.

God doesn’t give us commands because he loves rules.

God gives us commands because he loves you.

Woman at the Well (Conclusion)

Maybe you are here today and for the first time you are waking up to the idea that you had it wrong about sexual desires. You didn’t know this information and you are wondering if it’s too late for you now.

Let me make something very clear, Jesus never casted out or shamed anyone in the scripture who got it wrong.

I want to remind you about the time that Jesus encountered the woman at the well in John 4. Jesus meets this woman who was promiscuous. This was a woman who had multiple failed marriages and was living in a relationship outside of God’s design for marriage.

She has an encounter with Jesus, and he tells her that she’s been drinking from a fountain of sexual brokenness. But if she would turn to Jesus and start to drink from the water that he gave she would never be the same again.

What does the Bible say about her?

She runs off and tells her entire village about Jesus.

Jesus didn’t shame her and Jesus didn’t condemn her; but rather he healed her.

So if you need that fresh start today Jesus is here to mend every broken part of your life. He’s not going to just heal you, but he is going to make you whole.

Call

As we pray, I know that I’ve preached a wide spectrum today, but I also know that God was working here today. Whatever issue that you need to pray through, remember that the big is this… we need to find our identity in Christ. We need to anchor or to re-anchor our lives in him.

Can we do that this morning?