Ephesians 6:4
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-We had a family day yesterday, decided to do a little shopping, so our girls wanted to go to the makeup store. So I was just thrilled to let them look around in the makeup store. They are looking at all the lipsticks and smell goods and I notice something attached to the ceiling and you see it in your bulletin, what looks like a small tarp with a hose attached. I have really never seen something like this. It is called a leak diverter tarp. It seemed a bit much to me, usually you would see a 5 gallon bucket to catch the leak, because it is a temporary issue, as soon as the rain stops the leak is to be dealt with, but in this case it seems to me at least that we put a lot attention on being ok with the leak that is common to happen, it made me wonder if this is our approach to parenting our children, if the leak represents the outside culture or we could even say the sinful depravity of our children, how often do we approach it with oh well thats how it is let me just grab this diverter tarp, or do we do our do diligence and strive that the leak be fixed that they know the problem of sin and the only one who can fix the sin problem
-according to Barna Research
-among american parents with children under the age of thirteen only 2% have a Biblical world view
-among self identified born again Christians it is only 8%
-between 15-18 months is when a worlview begins to form and it is almost completely in place at the age of thirteen
Paul David Tripp - If I were to watch the last few months of you parenting your kids, what would I say about the level of importance given to this foundational task that God has assigned to you?
-Two components to parenting:
-teaching
-demonstrating
-85% of parents state that it is their responsibility to teach their children about religious beliefs
-Bring them up = responsibility
Responsibility to Discipline
Responsibility to Discipline
-Bring them up in the discipline of the Lord
-We have a model to follow
5 Know then in your heart that, as a man disciplines his son, the Lord your God disciplines you.
11 My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof,
12 for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.
24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
18 Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.
13 Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.
14 If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.
-discipline is a foundational part of being a parent, it is a expected responsibility that God has given us
7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?
8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.
9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live?
10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.
11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
-We do not find in Scripture the command to become friends with your children
15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
17 Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.
Responsibility to Nurture
Responsibility to Nurture
-So discipline is Biblical, it is necessary, but it must not be abused
-Martyn Lloyd Jones has a great sermon on this text in which he spoke of the varying parenting paths of discipline: he mentioned those who practice very little discipline, they want their children to become their friends, then there are those who practice harsh discipline almost to the point of abuse, for which Paul addresses here, we must practice a Biblical discipline that corrects a child in the love of a father, but not to provoke them
-provoke - to make angry, to irritate, to make bitter
21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
-how does a parent provoke their child? I’d like to phrase how do they fail to nurture their child?
-Why would I say nurture? Notice parents are to bring up there children, in the greek it is translated nourish
-we could list many ways, you could neglect them, overprotect them, physical abuse, verbal abuse, discourage them, and the list could go on
-What does it mean to nurture? to care for and encourage growth
-What kind of parents would we be if we do not encourage growth in our children?
Responsibility to Disciple
Responsibility to Disciple
-bring them up in the instruction of the Lord
-the most important point to remember is that your child has a sin problem and the only way for that problem to be corrected is through the gospel
John MacArthur - the goal of parenting is not to get them to perform for our approval. The goal of parenting is salvation and sanctification
-If we were to just focus on discipline, correcting, than we are just teaching behavior modification
-Now discipline is a great way to teach consequences for our sin, it is a great way to teach the judgment of God
-In all things that we do with our children it should be to teach them to know God and obey Him
-Do you discipline your child because they annoy you or because you are trying to teach them there are consequences to sinful actions?
Paul David Tripp - It's not our children's sin that is in the way of good parenting; it's our tendency to make parenting about our little kingdom of wants, needs, and desires, and our tendency to want our children to serve the purposes of our kingdom rather than submit to the purposes of God's kingdom.
4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.
5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.
9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
-Every day we have opportunities to teach our children about God, His Word, and how we are to obey Him
-How often do you talk to your children about God, about His Word, about the gospel in an average day? How often in the life circumstance that your child brings to you do you bring to them the Word of God
-So right now a big topic in the Warren household is we do not treat others as we have been treated, things in which I have said are: we do not repay evil with evil, we consider others as more important than ourselves, we treat others as we want to be treated - all Biblical principles that we find in Scripture
-Now why is it important to bring them Scripture in a life situation? Because we are showing them how to apply Scripture to our lives, we are also teaching them that God has a standard for how we are to live for Him, that the Bible is not just something we read, it something we obey out of our love to God
-Another introspection - as you parent your child you will not be perfect, you will sin, you will say things and do things that are sinful, how about when you mess up take the moment to teach your child that you are sinful and the grace of God in the Lord Jesus Christ to forgive you, perhaps after you discipline your child you teach them about the grace of Christ and how that grace is extended to them
-You are discipling your child, disciple means that you have one who follows your example and teaching, you are discipling your child, the question is what are you discipling them to?
-Are you discipling them to submit to Christ? Are you teaching them to submit to Christ? Are you showing them how you submit to Christ? Do they see a mother who submits to her husband out of reverence to Christ? Do they see a father who loves His wife as Christ loves the church? Do they hear you teach the word of Christ to them? Do they understand the judgment of sin through discipline? Do they hear your Biblical response to their difficult life situation?
Paul David Tripp - If I were to watch the last few months of you parenting your kids, what would I say about the level of importance given to this foundational task that God has assigned to you?
-Parents, as born again Christians be encouraged God is in you, and He will guide you as you guide your children, rest in His Spirit to empower you to bring up your children in the instruction of the Lord