Come & See! The Need for Friendship Evangelism

Floyd introduces this section of the need for friendship evangelism with an example of Jesus.

John 1:35–39 ESV

The next day again John was standing with two of his disciples, and he looked at Jesus as he walked by and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God!” The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Jesus. Jesus turned and saw them following and said to them, “What are you seeking?” And they said to him, “Rabbi” (which means Teacher), “where are you staying?” He said to them, “Come and you will see.” So they came and saw where he was staying, and they stayed with him that day, for it was about the tenth hour.

Floyd says this, “When John the Baptist told two of his disciples that Jesus was the Lamb of God, they asked Jesus where he lived. He answered, “Come and see.” He didn’t whip out the Old Testament and prove to them on-the-spot that he was the Messiah. For three years Jesus demonstrated his messiah-ship through his actions. The disciples came to faith in Christ by observing how he lived as a human being, day and night for two to three years.”

How does the example of Jesus in John 1:39 teach the need for friendship evangelism?

Floyd’s answer: People’s openness to the gospel may occur only through our involvement in their lives.

“Simply putting a welcome mat at the front door of our church building is not enough. We need to become interested in something that they are interested in, for their sake.”

Agree/Disagree?

How is simply becoming interested in something that they are interested in evangelism?

Illustration:

My wife, Christine, demonstrated this principle when she asked Martha, a young university student, if she would help Christine learn German. After a few weeks she began helping Martha with her English. They developed a friendship and met together together weekly for many months. Martha would take no payment for her tutoring, so we made it a habit to invite her for supper each week. During one of these meals, we began talking about the Bible and why we read it. That conversation lasted for three hours.

As she prepared to leave, I asked, “What do you think of us?”

“Well,” she began slowly, “if we had had this conversation eight months ago, when we first met, I would have thought you were both crazy.” ​

“Are we crazy?” I asked. ​

Her answer was surprising, “No, I’ve gotten to know you and you’re normal, just like everyone else.”

Discussion:

Contrast friendship evangelism with other methods of evangelism we have used in the past:

Along this same line, a Swiss missionary I know says, “If people get to know you as a nice person and then they discover that you’re a bit odd about religion, they won’t mind. But if all they know about you is that you’re a fanatic about religion, they probably won’t ever make the effort to discover that you’re a nice person.”

What are the main reasons for becoming involved in people’s lives?

1). So people will know we care about them

2). So we can get to know them

John 2:25 ESV

and needed no one to bear witness about man, for he himself knew what was in man.

Jesus has a leg up on us. We can’t read hearts, so we need to spend time with our unsaved friends.

How will this help our evangelism efforts? We will be able to understand how they think!

How long can this take?

“This may take a few days or even months of letting them see us live Christianity, before we talk to them about it.”

How can we make friends with our unsaved acquaintances?

Making friends means exhibiting an interest in others. They need to know that you have something in common with them, and that you enjoy spending time with them. This can become fun.

Think of things that you enjoy doing. For example:

✓ Go sailing or fishing or clothes shopping;

✓ Sports – either playing or watching – football, basketball, soccer, etc.;

✓ Clubs – amateur radio, computer, photography, astronomy, a sewing circle;

✓ Sign up for a class at a local college, whether a hobby, craft, or serious study;

✓ Offer to babysit for a mother with young children (or older children –

“Above all, be hospitable!  Schedule times to invite unsaved people to your home for a meal, coffee, or for an evening of board games.”

One word of warning: beware of the temptation to view non-Christians as only potential converts, whom you will cast off if they do not get saved.

Why is this such a danger?

It can be easy and enjoyable to make friends, but you will probably have to spend less time with your Christian friends. What are some reasons that your Christian friends may not understand this?

1). We already spend much of our time in the world (example, at work). It is wonderful to gather around believers so we can be refreshed to get back into the fight.

How would you answer this objection?

2). Some Christian circles have built up a false sense of spirituality in which separation from the world means no interaction whatsoever.

Objections:

“How can you go to the student cafeteria to meet her? They serve beer there!”

“How can we invite our neighbors over? They smoke and our house will stink for days!”

“What if they invite me to go somewhere with them, like to a movie that I don’t think I should see? I might offend them if I turn them down.”

“But what if I do go out with a friend, or I am invited over for a meal, and they offer me a beer or a glass of wine?”

“You need to think these questions through ahead of time, so that you are not caught off-guard. Make sure that your convictions are based on Scripture, though, and not upon some unwritten laws of spirituality.”

“It is imperative to get involved in the lives of those we want to reach for the Lord. God did not sit in heaven and demand that we come to him, but he became one of us, yet without sin (Heb. 4:15).  We need to “become one of them,” yet without sin.”

Hebrews 4:15 ESV

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.

1 Corinthians 5:9–10 ESV

I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world.

“On the contrary, we need to open up our lives and invite an unsaved friend to “come and see” Christianity as we live it every day. This may be hard at first, especially since unbelievers can be very unlike those in our circle of Christian friends.”

Rebecca Manley Pippert in her book, Out of the Saltshaker, tells the story of an older deacon who had ushered people into their seats for years. One day a young man entered the church at the beginning of the service, just when the deacon was escorting someone else down the aisle. The young man wore no shoes, his long hair was unkempt, and his clothes were ragged and dirty. He entered the auditorium, walked all the way to the front and sat down on the floor in front of the podium. When the deacon returned to close the front door, he noticed the young man sitting up front. Anxiety spread throughout the congregation. ​

What would the deacon say to the young man? The deacon closed the sanctuary doors and walked down the aisle. When he reached the front, the deacon took his own shoes off and sat down next to the young man on the floor. There was not a dry eye in the church that morning.

C. S. Lewis wrote:

It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare . . . . There are no ORDINARY people.  You have never met a mere mortal . . . . But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit – immortal horrors or everlasting splendors . . . .[6]

DO IT!

1.  No matter what the disguise looks like, a human being is one of the most holy objects we will ever meet. Pick out one unsaved friend with whom you would like to become friends. Ask yourself the following questions:

How can I show a personal interest in this person?

How can I show this person that I care about him?

What can I do for this person?

What can I do with this person?

2.  What restrictions do you have that might block your friendship with your unsaved friends? Are these restrictions based on Scripture passages that are clear, or are these restrictions cultural or traditional? Are you willing to give up your cultural and traditional restrictions in order to have a chance of winning your friend to Christ?