Emotion Wheel: Anger
Notes
Transcript
Emotion Wheel: Anger
Emotion Wheel: Anger
I mentioned that for most of my life I struggled to be in touch with my emotions.
I linked an emotionless life to godliness.
I believed that God was able to move past emotions and simply make the decisions that needed to be made.
But I found myself struggling with that belief.
Eventually, I grew up and discovered that I did feel things.
But I had no language for how I felt.
Until one day, I discovered something on the internet.
It was called an emotion wheel.
Here is what one looks like.
I used to be embarrassed to admit that I needed something like this to put a name to how I felt.
Then I noticed how many of these exist on Google. Try it. Google emotion wheel, click on images, and see how many exist.
What this told me was many, many people need help 1) naming what they feel, and 2) communicating how they feel with others.
I guess I am not alone!
And I learned something about emotions from my friends at DM:
***Emotions are information***
We are going to take one primary emotion around the center of the wheel each week and explore it through a biblical character.
The first is anger.
Let’s be interactive.
When I say ‘anger’ what is the first thought in your mind?
Was it a person? A situation? Yourself?
And object, like money, house, car?
How about here in church?
If I were to suggest ‘anger, God, scripture, Jesus’ do any of those conjure a different answer in your mind?
How many of you associate anger or wrath with God?
Let’s dispel that idea right now.
The first occurence of ‘anger’ and ‘God’ happens in Exodus 34:6
The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness,
Here is a fun fact:
In almost all, like 99% of the time, God’s anger occurs when Israel worships other gods.
Neither anger nor wrath occurs in Genesis 6 (the flood)
It never occurs in Leviticus, where all the sacrifices for sin are described
Otherwise, it is used in this quote in several places.
How about Wrath?
It appears when Israel worships other gods and only after many, many warnings
It appears against Israel’s enemies
It appears against supernatural enemies
In other words, there is always a reason. It is always deserved.
How about the New Testament.
There are a couple of places anger is discussed…
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
In conclusion, if you have a ‘God pours out His wrath on Jesus’ model in your mind, find me after, and let’s make a time to talk about that thought.
The concept does not, I repeat, does not exist in scripture.
Let’s springboard from the verses in James to our character today.
We will see how a character puts this in action.
Quickly, let’s setup the story:
Saul is king of Israel. He is jealous of David. God has withdrawn from Saul. Saul is not routing Israel’s enemies, he is pursuing David.
David and his men go into a cave to hide. Saul happens to come to the cave to go to relieve himself. David sneaks up near him to kill him and…
And the men of David said to him, “Here is the day of which the Lord said to you, ‘Behold, I will give your enemy into your hand, and you shall do to him as it shall seem good to you.’ ” Then David arose and stealthily cut off a corner of Saul’s robe. And afterward David’s heart struck him, because he had cut off a corner of Saul’s robe. He said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do this thing to my lord, the Lord’s anointed, to put out my hand against him, seeing he is the Lord’s anointed.” So David persuaded his men with these words and did not permit them to attack Saul. And Saul rose up and left the cave and went on his way.
David says…
See, my father, see the corner of your robe in my hand. For by the fact that I cut off the corner of your robe and did not kill you, you may know and see that there is no wrong or treason in my hands. I have not sinned against you, though you hunt my life to take it. May the Lord judge between me and you, may the Lord avenge me against you, but my hand shall not be against you.
David says…
May the Lord therefore be judge and give sentence between me and you, and see to it and plead my cause and deliver me from your hand.”
Saul says…
He said to David, “You are more righteous than I, for you have repaid me good, whereas I have repaid you evil.
For if a man finds his enemy, will he let him go away safe? So may the Lord reward you with good for what you have done to me this day.
Samuel the prophet dies…
1 Samuel 25:1 (ESV)
Now Samuel died. And all Israel assembled and mourned for him, and they buried him in his house at Ramah.
Then David rose and went down to the wilderness of Paran.
Let’s read another story of David, in light of what we just read.
And there was a man in Maon whose business was in Carmel. The man was very rich; he had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats. He was shearing his sheep in Carmel. Now the name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. The woman was discerning and beautiful, but the man was harsh and badly behaved; he was a Calebite. David heard in the wilderness that Nabal was shearing his sheep. So David sent ten young men. And David said to the young men, “Go up to Carmel, and go to Nabal and greet him in my name. And thus you shall greet him: ‘Peace be to you, and peace be to your house, and peace be to all that you have. I hear that you have shearers. Now your shepherds have been with us, and we did them no harm, and they missed nothing all the time they were in Carmel. Ask your young men, and they will tell you. Therefore let my young men find favor in your eyes, for we come on a feast day. Please give whatever you have at hand to your servants and to your son David.’ ”
Nabal: Foolish
Abigail: My father rejoiced, My father lives
Can I give you a nerd thing quickly…this is why I love learning the Hebrew.
There was a man in Maon whose business was in Carmel.
We read that, no big deal.
The ancient Hebrew person reads that, and warning signs go off!
‘There was a man in ‘hiding’ who worked in a ‘garden plantation of trees.’
Come on…
‘The woman was good (tov) and beautiful’
‘The man was harsh and bad (rah)’
When David’s young men came, they said all this to Nabal in the name of David, and then they waited. And Nabal answered David’s servants, “Who is David? Who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants these days who are breaking away from their masters. Shall I take my bread and my water and my meat that I have killed for my shearers and give it to men who come from I do not know where?” So David’s young men turned away and came back and told him all this.
And David said to his men, “Every man strap on his sword!” And every man of them strapped on his sword. David also strapped on his sword. And about four hundred men went up after David, while two hundred remained with the baggage.
But one of the young men told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, “Behold, David sent messengers out of the wilderness to greet our master, and he railed at them. Yet the men were very good to us, and we suffered no harm, and we did not miss anything when we were in the fields, as long as we went with them. They were a wall to us both by night and by day, all the while we were with them keeping the sheep. Now therefore know this and consider what you should do, for harm is determined against our master and against all his house, and he is such a worthless man that one cannot speak to him.”
Then Abigail made haste and took two hundred loaves and two skins of wine and five sheep already prepared and five seahs of parched grain and a hundred clusters of raisins and two hundred cakes of figs, and laid them on donkeys. And she said to her young men, “Go on before me; behold, I come after you.” But she did not tell her husband Nabal. And as she rode on the donkey and came down under cover of the mountain, behold, David and his men came down toward her, and she met them. Now David had said, “Surely in vain have I guarded all that this fellow has in the wilderness, so that nothing was missed of all that belonged to him, and he has returned me evil for good. God do so to the enemies of David and more also, if by morning I leave so much as one male of all who belong to him.”
David speaks to himself, talking himself into this action.
He is justifying what he is about to do.
When Abigail saw David, she hurried and got down from the donkey and fell before David on her face and bowed to the ground. She fell at his feet and said, “On me alone, my lord, be the guilt. Please let your servant speak in your ears, and hear the words of your servant. Let not my lord regard this worthless fellow, Nabal, for as his name is, so is he. Nabal is his name, and folly is with him. But I your servant did not see the young men of my lord, whom you sent. Now then, my lord, as the Lord lives, and as your soul lives, because the Lord has restrained you from bloodguilt and from saving with your own hand, now then let your enemies and those who seek to do evil to my lord be as Nabal. And now let this present that your servant has brought to my lord be given to the young men who follow my lord. Please forgive the trespass of your servant. For the Lord will certainly make my lord a sure house, because my lord is fighting the battles of the Lord, and evil shall not be found in you so long as you live. If men rise up to pursue you and to seek your life, the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living in the care of the Lord your God. And the lives of your enemies he shall sling out as from the hollow of a sling. And when the Lord has done to my lord according to all the good that he has spoken concerning you and has appointed you prince over Israel, my lord shall have no cause of grief or pangs of conscience for having shed blood without cause or for my lord working salvation himself. And when the Lord has dealt well with my lord, then remember your servant.”
And David said to Abigail, “Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me! Blessed be your discretion, and blessed be you, who have kept me this day from bloodguilt and from working salvation with my own hand! For as surely as the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, who has restrained me from hurting you, unless you had hurried and come to meet me, truly by morning there had not been left to Nabal so much as one male.” Then David received from her hand what she had brought him. And he said to her, “Go up in peace to your house. See, I have obeyed your voice, and I have granted your petition.”
The story goes on where Abigail tells Nabal what happened.
His heart is struck for ten days and then he just dies.
David decides to take Abigail as a wife.
Remember, she is tov (good)
David sees she is good, and takes her. (foreshadowing)
But, we are not here to nerd out about the Hebrew.
We are here to discuss the anger of two men.
I started this series because of a question borne from our Galatians 5 series about ‘self-control.’
Anger is a strong emotion of irritation or agitation that erupts when needs or expectations are not met.
It has many degrees: mild to explosive
Simmering anger is indignation
Burning anger is vengeful wrath
Fiery anger is fury
Rage is blazing anger
Indignation: something appears unjust or unworthy and is perceived as justified.
We saw David speaking to himself, talking himself into his action. Justifying it.
It sounded like he guarded them out of kindness, but then he felt owed.
Burning anger/wrath
It is often the desire to avenge.
This is where the emotion becomes expression.
Fury is fiery
The anger has become so fierce that it affects or destroys your common sense
You are losing the ability to access your sense making
Rage
You have lost self-control, and often this leads to violence
It is often followed by ‘I don’t know what I was thinking, doing, I don’t remember.’
When we went through Galatians 5:20, we saw ‘fits of anger’ which is indignation (judging) that leads to rage (loss of self-control).
Is anger a sin?
Short answer, no.
Long answer: how you behave may lead to sinful actions.
I am just an angry person and there is nothing I can do about it.
You should seek counseling.
It is likely there are some deep things that need unlocked and worked through.
It might be affecting your judgment.
Things to do when you are angry?
Ask yourself, ‘What do I believe right now?’
How to communicate your anger?
Can you define your expectations?
Do you care enough to help the one who angers you?
If they are violent. Seek shelter and help.
Can you communicate your anger to a child and not frighten them?
God’s perspective on Anger:
If you are hurt don’t use anger to manipulate
Injustice cannot lead to dominating violence
Fear of unmet needs does not justify anger
You can use anger to get your needs met, but at what cost?
Anger is an invitation to Analyze.
Do you know when you are angry?
How do others know when you are angry?
How often do you feel angry?
How do you release your anger?
What do you need?
Have you asked that question?
Do you use anger to demand to feel loved?
Do you explode in anger to feel seen?
Do you use anger to control to feel secure?
Don’t minimize the power of Abigail in the story to step into a terrifying situation.
She had help (her men) with her. She did not go alone.
But she put her life on the line to try and stop a wicked action by David
(who, by the way, was a man after God’s own heart)
Had her kind gesture been met with violence, then we would have a psychopath on our hands.
Get away.
Get help.
What happens when we suppress anger because we believe it is a sin?
Brene Brown writes something interesting:
‘Anger is a catalyst. Holding on to it will make us exhausted and sick. Internalizing anger will take away our joy and spirit; externalizing anger will make us less effective in our attempts to create change and forge connection. It’s an emotion that we need to transform into something life-giving: courage, love, change, compassion, justice.’
Brene Brown
Atlas of the Heart
If you deny that you have any anger, then you are lying to yourself and you will not grow.
Emotion Wheel: Anger
Emotion Wheel: Anger