Debbie Piarulli Memorial Thoughts

Obituary

Deborah Marie Piarulli, 68, ran into the arms of Jesus on Jan. 30, 2024 after her long battle with Parkinsons. Debbie, who was born on March 27, 1955, was daughter of late Delores “Dolly” Wiedenhofer. Raised by deceased grandmother Henrietta Schoenfeld. Debbie graduated from Saint Benedict Catholic School. She was known for her laugh, smile and love for people. She was loved by many, but cherished by her family and church friends. Debbie was survived by her loving husband of 21 years Don Piarulli, her beloved children Brian and Kristin Piarulli of Hershey PA, Kelly and Michael Stitzel of Coatesville PA, Mark Piarulli of Berlin MD, and Beth Patton of Pittsburgh PA. Her 17 grandchildren, Katelyn and Grayson Piarulli; Shyla, Austin, Abigayle, Gabriel, Jayden, Selena, Solomon, and Samara Stitzel; TaraLynn, Dominic, and Ricky Piarulli; and Aria Patton, Rayna and Kane Bowker. Her brother Greg Wiedenhofer of Pittsburgh PA, and Aunt Sandy Chase of Carnegie PA. In keeping with Debbie’s wishes there will be a celebration of life on February 10, 2024 at Berlin First Baptist Church 613 William St., Berlin MD 21811 at 11 AM. Debbie’s last wishes were to have all her family and friends together celebrating her life. In Lieu of flowers Debbie has asked that donations would be made to Berlin First Baptist Church

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Introduction Comments

Introduce myself

Son in law

Kelly’s husband

Been blessed to be part of the Piarulli family for 21 years plus (If you the count years before our wedding as well - 24)

Been asked to share some the grandkids favorite memories.

Grandkid Memories

Debbie had 16 grandkids

8 of those, from my family alone. :)

In no particular order, the grandkids noted the following favorite memories of life with grandma.

Selena loved riding on grandmas lap on the scooter. And grandma was always ready to take one of the grandkids on her lap as they rode the scooter around.

Taralynn, Selena, Solomon, and JJ are loved when they were given the opportunity to go out to eat with grandma and papa and be spoiled by them at all the fancy places to eat! :) (and not so fancy ones too) lol

Sammy loved when grandma would let her sit in her lap and play on her phone or iPad. Sammy has always been a cuddler and combing two favorite things, cuddling and electronics, was always a special moment for her. Grandma was always more than ready to share her lap and her tech.

Solomon, likewise, enjoyed when grandma would let him sit in her lap and play on her tablet and phone. It often seemed as if Grandmas lap was always open! :)

Rayna’s favorite memories were grandma kisses!

It is clear, grandma was affectionate and loved to love on her grandkids!

Ricky enjoyed riding on the boat with grandma. Their time with the boat may have been brief, but many memories with the grandkids were made while enjoying that blessing.

Sammy always loved that grandma had ice cream (and other treats) readily available for the grandkids.

Taralynn loved when Grandma would treat them to snow cones.

Austin remembers how grandma taught him how to make peace pie.

Katelyn and Grayson fondly remembered the time that they got to go to the Pittsburg Zoo with grandma and papa. Papa and Grandma always loved to spoil the grandkids and bless them with adventures and experiences, and time spent together and for Katelyn and Grayson, they remember their trip to zoo with them.

Aria, Dominic, JJ and Selena loved when grandma and papa would take them to Jolly Roger.

Sencere - Loved the time grandma rode the avatar ride and screamed and laughed the whole time. Taralynn loved shopping with grandma and going to the boardwalk.

Dominic loved Christmas time and opening gifts with grandma at Christmas.

Selena loved just talking with grandma and that she could often interpret what grandma was saying when others could not.

Many of the grandkids shared that they loved playing games with grandma. Many memories were made while playing games as a family and many of the grandkids, especially the older ones, have fond memories of playing games together.

Abigayle loved playing two person solitaire with her (Which I always found the name to be somewhat of an oxymoron)

Gabriel as well says that he loved “when grandma first taught me how to play 2 person solitaire and we would sit at the table for hours playing it every time I came over. Oh, and I always won.”

JJ and Selena loved playing “Go Fish”

Austin particularly noted when grandma taught him how to play hands and feet.

Gabriel and JJ remember the times when grandma would laugh so hard, she turned tomato red.

Gabriel commented, “Every time we would play a game, I would some how find a way to make grandma laugh so hard that she would grow so red, she looked like a tomato and I would yell, SHE’S GONNA BLOW!”

Gabriel also loved the way grandma would RUN for the potato chips. J/K she never did really run but it was always a joke we had.

Dominic loved going to church with grandma.

One of my own favorite, funny memories was in the later years when her mobility and balance were deeply affected by the parkinson’s (That’s not the funny part). She was standing on this particular day, unsteady as she often was. Next thing we knew, she let out a fart so powerful, she lost her balance and started to fall over. She had to be caught by someone standing near. Then, we were all laughing so hard, that for a few moments, we could not get her into a stable and seated position again.

Lament

Before I step down and hand this all back over to Pastor Brad and crew, I wanted to share a couple more serious comments relating to grieving and lamenting.

For the past year and a half, God has been taking me and my family on a journey through grief and lament. Debbie’s passing will be the third parent/grandparent that my family has lost in the past year and a half. In 2022, my father would get sick and pass from covid, leaving my mother, suffering with dementia. Her care fell to my wife and I. 3 months after my father’s passing my mother would also pass into eternity. A year after that, my parents dog, whom we took charge of after their passing, would also die. Because it was my parents dog, his death would reawaken the pain and grief once more of my parents passing. Now, two months after that, my step mother in law follows my parents into eternity.

Needless to say, it feels as if grief and loss are a constant companion these days.

During my parents illnesses and deaths, God directed me to read a book, and subsequently preach a sermon series, called Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy by Mark Vroegop, Pastor at College Park Church in Indiana. In this book, he shared how he took his own pain, loss, and grief and turned to scripture with it. He then unfolded the teachings of Lamentations and the Psalms and how they offer to us as believers the process of lament, lamenting as a means to live in a state of trust and hope in God in the midst of a world that full of sorrow and loss.

He says that

Lament is how you live between the poles of a hard life and trusting in God’s sovereignty

Lament is how Christians grieve

To cry is human but to lament is Christian

Lament is a prayer in pain that leads to trust.

Biblical lament involves four steps (a couple of which can be combined into a single one). Turning to God, bringing out complaints to him, boldly asking, and (the most important one) TRUSTING.

Without arriving at step four, the first three just result in complaint, and would just as easily turn to resentment and bitterness.

However, God invites us to come to him, to bring our questions, to bring our complaints. He encourages us to make BOLD requests. BUT in the end, we must choose trust, we must choose to put our questions and complaints in the hands of a good and trustworthy God.

I say all this because, I have been practicing lament since this time in my life. The day after Debbie’s passing, I penned another one. I want to share it with you now in the hopes and prayers that it may encourage your hearts and help us each to affirm and strengthen our trust in God despite the grief in our hearts today.

Death’s Sting

Abba,

Death strikes again…

Once more we are reminded of the brokenness of sin.

Once more we are reminded of the pain of our rebellion.

Our hearts lament…

Death, oh death, where is your sting?

The scriptures cry out

The question…

Intended to be rhetorical.

Intended to draw us to gaze upon victory

And yet…

Where is the sting?

It is here

It is now

It is present and cutting

Pain and sorrow flow

Loss and grief flare

And we acutely feel the heat of its blade.

The blood seems to flow freely

Resisting any attempt to be staunched

And just went scabs begin to hint at healing

Another rending tears asunder

An already vulnerable wound

It feels as though the wounds will never end.

Sorrow stacks upon sorrow

Loss upon loss

Heartache upon heartache

Never healing

Never regaining the strength and vitality

That once existed.

How long, Oh Lord, will death endure?

How long will You suffer it to remain?

How long, oh Giver of eternal life

Will You permit death to mar Your glory?

How long, oh Eternal One

Will death be permitted to pillage and destroy?

In Your hand is the power to stop it all

In Your hand is the strength to prevail

Why then do You delay in declaring victory?

Why then do You wait while death pillages?

Why then do you suffer the gut punching pain

The heart rending sorrow

That death brings and leaves in its wake?

How long, Oh Creator of all, Giver of life

Will you permit our hearts to languor in death’s grip?

How long will You give death power and authority over us?

How long before enough is enough?

The sorrow and loss of this life rip at us

With the ferocious intensity of a rabid animal.

How long will such a weapon

Be permitted in the hands of our Adversary?

We bow our heads, tears streaming

A deep ache in our souls for that which is lost.

A wordless stupor engulfs

Cloaking with the heaviness of a weighed blanket

Such is the ever present mass

That death and sorrow bring

Never truly rid of it

Forever affected and changed by it

And if permitted…

Debilitating

And Yet…

Even while the deep ache of loss pervades

Even while the grief of sorrow lingers

Even while the emptiness of loss attempts to consume

YET, we will hope.

Though death may rob us of that which is precious

Though death may yet still cut and sting

Death does not have the final word

Death does not deliver the final blow

The original intent of the question DEMANDS attention

Death, where is your sting?

The unspoken answer

The rhetorical nature of it answered by the context.

1 Corinthians 15:50–57 (ESV): Mystery and Victory

50 I tell you this, brothers: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. 51 Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, 52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. 53 For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. 54 When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:

“Death is swallowed up in victory.”

55  “O death, where is your victory?

O death, where is your sting?”

56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Death is defeated.

Death’s power is removed.

Perishable puts in imperishable

Life reigns and overcomes

Life knocks death on it’s backside, bewildered and dazed.

Instead of Death being a final destination

Death becomes a doorway

Death’s sting is removed

For out of death, life marches triumphant

Death’s smug victory

Is wiped away in the face of life’s shining blaze.

Death, for us, Abba, as your children

Is a temporary wound

A minor scratch

An endurable annoyance

One we must endure

One we CAN endure

In light of the coming blaze of light and victory.

And so, though our hearts cry out in anguish,

In temporary sorrow and loss

Yet our hearts can and will rejoice

For hope still blossoms

In the wake of death’s war path

While sorrow clings with its tenacious grip

YET our hearts will rejoice

They will sing Your praises

They will trust Your graces

They will seize Your outstretched hand

And they will proceed with strength

For this death

These sorrows

They will be instruments for joy

Tools for glory

That will redeem the pain

And remake the grief

Into a tapestry of eternal delight.

Until the day this conversion is complete,

We cling

We grasp

We abide

We remain vitally connected

We trust

And we hope.

We wait, with confidence, for the approaching day

CERTAIN of its arrival

And Your peace settles our hearts

To endure the wait

However long it takes.

And in this hope

In this peace

In this confidence

We find rest