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By Pastor Glenn Pease
Sometimes the best way to say what something is, is to say what it isn't.
If a child asks you what a smooth surface is, you would probably say it is a surface with no bumps and no rough spots.
Bumps and rough are not what smooth is, but what smooth isn't.
It would be hard to describe what smooth is without reference to its opposite, and what it isn't.
If a daughter asks a mother what she means by perfectly clean sheets, the mother will say, "I mean that there is no dirt or stains on them."
The easiest way to describe a vacuum is to say it is the absence of air.
The easiest to describe total darkness is to say there is no light, and the easiest way to describe pure light is to say, as John does of God, He is light and in Him is no darkness at all.
When John tells us about what heaven is like, he focuses on what heaven is not.
It is the absence of night, pain, tears, sin, and death.
The point is, a quality or value can only be fully grasped by seeing its opposite, and by knowing what it isn't.
That is why Paul, after telling us two things love is-patient and kind, follows up with a list of 8 things which love is not.
Love is like all supreme values, for it is easier to say what it isn't than to say what it is.
The first thing Paul says that love is not is envious.
Pride is usually considered the first sin of man, but envy is a partner with this first sin.
Satan envied God, and he tempted Adam and Eve to envy God.
He said that they could be like God knowing good and evil.
In other words, God has something you do not have, but it can be yours if you do what I say.
Envy makes the self the center of focus, and this opens the door to all sin.
Paul puts envy before pride in this list of what love isn't, for it leads to all that is unloving.
1. Cain killed Abel and became the first criminal in history because he envied his brother.
2. Joseph brothers envied him because of his relationship to his father, and they sold him into slavery.
3. Saul sought to kill David because of his envy of David's popularity.
4. The leaders of Israel sought to kill Jesus because they envied His popularity.
The number one cause for all non-loving behavior in human relationships is envy.
Watch children play and you will see them fight over a toy bitterly when there are dozens of other toys to play with.
It is not that they want it that bad, but they just do not like another to have it.
They are motivated by envy, for as soon as one loses interest in the toy the other will no longer crave it either.
Paul says he gave up childish things like this when he became a man.
Maturity is the ability to not need what somebody else has to be content.
It is not easy to grow up emotionally and be loving instead of envious.
We live in a world of much inequality.
People do not get equal breaks.
Some have better looks, better health, more wealth, and even more spiritual gifts.
This is a major problem in the world, but also for Christians.
We do not like a world where this reality kicks us in the face almost daily, and reminds us that we are inferior to others in some way.
It all seems so unjust and unfair, and it leads easily to envy.
One can get so obsessed with his own inequality that his own gifts and blessings lose their meaning.
The women sang, "Saul has slain his thousands, but David his tens of thousands."
This led Saul to feel that he was nothing, and no longer a hero.
He could have been a great hero of Israel, and a great king, even if David did surpass him, but he so let envy take over in his life that all that mattered was the destruction of David.
Envy causes people to lose perspective and they are made to feel so inferior that with the loss of self-love comes the loss of all love.
They become so bitter that they are like one who said, "I can't read, and therefore wish all books were burned."
P. J. Bailey said, "Envy is a coal that comes hissing hot from hell."
It leads to all that is the opposite of love.
It shrinks the soul and destroys all relationships.
Envy can kill the best relationships.
George Whitefield and John Wesley were great friends, but they came to a time of tension in their relationship.
A man who did not like Wesley asked Whitefield if he thought he would see Wesley in heaven.
He said, "Certainly not."
The man was pleased until Whitefield explained.
He said, "Wesley will be so near the throne of God, and you and I so far that we will not be able to see him."
Whitefield could have indulged in some envious slander, but he chose the way of agape love, and that saved their relationship in spite of the tension.
Love does not envy Paul says, but he does not say that Christians do not envy, for we know that being a Christian does not eliminate envy.
It is love that does not envy, and so when we do envy we need to recognize it is because we do not love, or that love is not now in control of our emotions.
What this means is that love must be a constant choice of the will.
It is not automatic.
What is automatic is the response of the fallen human nature.
The negative is more likely to be automatic, and the positive is more likely to be work.
Katherine Porter said, "Love must be learned, and learned again and again; there is no end to it.
Hate needs no instruction, but wants only to be provoked."
So when you feel envy you need to recognize this is a defect, and a falling short of the ideal.
You do not have to go to pieces and feel guilty, but simply acknowledge your feelings are sub-Christian.
This means they are not to be the basis for your behavior or your talk.
You check any of your words or acts that are motivated by this emotion, for they will not be loving words or acts.
Suppression of the natural man is not only good, it is essential to the Christian life.
You hold back the negative results of non-loving emotions, and instead you chose to act and talk on the basis of love.
Can you be loving when you feel non-loving?
Of course you can, and you must, or you will let your old nature, rather than your new nature, be your guide, and this is to quench the Spirit.
When you are open to the filling of the Spirit of God, you will quench the works of the flesh and deny their expression, and you will choose instead the way of love.
This calls for honesty with our emotions.
Gary Collins, the Christian psychologist writes, "Envy is an emotion that everybody possesses but to which nobody admits.
While many people would confess that they are anxious, discouraged, lonely, overly-busy or bothered by feelings of inferiority, very few of us will tell another we are envious.
Indeed, we don't even like to admit this to ourselves.
But above all, we especially want to keep our envy a secret from the person whom we envy."
Envy is a dangerous emotion for our mental health.
The harsh and horrible things said about it cause us to so fear it that we do not want to acknowledge we have it.
We need to learn it is far healthier to be aware of our emotions, and learn to control them, and not repress them.
Do not fear your negative emotions so much that you do not face them.
The only way to gain the victory is to face your enemy and say, "I am now envious, and in a non-loving state.
My attitude and behavior will be influenced by this emotion, and I can easily do or say what is non-loving.
I must now chose to do and say that which is the will of God for me.
I must will to love even though my feelings would take me down a non-loving path."
You will only be able to be this honest when you are fully aware of your negative emotions.
There are three things about envy that we want to focus on.
First let's look at-
I. THE EVIL OF ENVY.
Envy is a violation of love on all levels.
It is a rejection of loving God with all your heart, for envy says I consider God unfair to me, for He has given others what He has not given me.
Therefore, I am rejected by Him, and I will in turn reject His will for me.
This is why Cain killed Abel.
He said that life is not fair, and God plays favorites, and so I will try to fight God's plan and kill the one he favors.
His envy led him to first despise God, and then to despise his brother.
Envy leads us to violate God's commandments by leading us to a low self-image where we hate who we are, for we are less and inferior to someone else.
This in turn leads us to despise that someone else who is superior, and so we have gone full circle and end up hating God, and hating our neighbor, as we hate ourselves.
Envy leads to the reversal of the will of God for us completely.
That is why one of the most destructive characteristics of non-love.
It is anti-love which makes us weep with those who rejoice, and rejoice when they weep.
Theogenes, the Greek hero of the public games, was so envied by another athlete that it drove him to destroy the statue that was erected in his honor.
He finally succeeded in toppling the image, but it fell on him and killed him.
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