How are we to care for widow’s?
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Open with Prayer:
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3 Honor widows who are truly widows. 4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God. 5 She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, 6 but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. 7 Command these things as well, so that they may be without reproach. 8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Last week we took some time to discuss the 4 different age groups of people, and how we are to treat each group. We now move to a very specific part of the faith family that we are to care for. Paul now addresses specifically widows. When their support is gone, will they still be cared for, and how will they be cared for. Of course we are not commanded just to love widows like family, but we are also commanded on how we are to care for widows.
All throughout God’s Word we see how the Lord takes interest on how to care for women who have lost their husband.
5 Father of the fatherless and protector of widows
is God in his holy habitation.
9 The Lord watches over the sojourners;
he upholds the widow and the fatherless,
but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin.
In Exodus the Lord gives us some harsh warning on the treatment of widows.
22 You shall not mistreat any widow or fatherless child. 23 If you do mistreat them, and they cry out to me, I will surely hear their cry, 24 and my wrath will burn, and I will kill you with the sword, and your wives shall become widows and your children fatherless.
What we see here is that the Lord loves and protects the strangers. He supports the fatherless and the widow. So, we as God’s people must do the same as we see the needs arise. Throughout Scripture we learn about the background of those who were often widowed. In the first-century Jewish culture we know that widows were often poor, the were not allowed to work outside of the home and because of this they were not able to make any money. So, it is not shocking to see that very early on in the church that we see part of the care and ministry of the church was to take care of widows. We see this in the book of Acts.
1 Now in these days when the disciples were increasing in number, a complaint by the Hellenists arose against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution. 2 And the twelve summoned the full number of the disciples and said, “It is not right that we should give up preaching the word of God to serve tables. 3 Therefore, brothers, pick out from among you seven men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we will appoint to this duty. 4 But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.” 5 And what they said pleased the whole gathering, and they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit, and Philip, and Prochorus, and Nicanor, and Timon, and Parmenas, and Nicolaus, a proselyte of Antioch.
Also, according to James, pure religion or true religion is to look like this. Here is our example:
27 Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.
We as the church still have a responsibility to care and look after our widows. To help Timothy and those within the church do this Paul lays out several responsibilities to help guide them with this family duty.
1. What is the Churches duty in taking care of widows?
3 Honor widows who are truly widows.
I want to explain quickly the definition of a widow. A widow is someone whose husband has died. They have been robbed in the sense that they have suffered loss and are now left alone. A very broad view here would also mean that a widow’s husband has not only died, but could have left them, or has divorced them or even been thrown in jail. We live in a world today where i have seen so many women who are part of a church being left and abandoned by their husband, which most of the time leads to divorce. All of that to say that we as a church family need to be aware of the real pain and hurt with single women and even single moms within the church. Because of this problem we face an even greater task than the Ephesian church did. So, in general here the duty or responsibility of the church is to take care of all qualifying women who have lost their husbands. The treatment of widows shows our true spiritual character.
A second area that stands out to us is that we are to show honor to those who are widows. In fact, the word honor here means to show respect or care and we do this by meeting needs both physically and financially. As we already read in the Old Testament we see that we are commanded to honor our parents, and so the Lord helps us to understand this fully by providing them with financial support.
Another aspect of this as we see here at the end of this verse is that the church is not obligated to take care of every widow, but only those who are truly widows in regards that they are truly alone without financial means. Of course there are many widows who still have family to take care of them as Paul mentions in verse 4. There also remains the fact that for some widow’s their husband had life insurance or a retirement set-up. Our government today has also provided social security for this reason as well. All of these means help to take care of and support those who are widowed.
2. We now come to exactly how the church is to evaluate the specific qualifications of taking care of widows?
4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God. 5 She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day, 6 but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. 7 Command these things as well, so that they may be without reproach. 8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
-The first area that Paul addresses here is that the widow is not to have any family left in regards to the church stepping in. Again a widow is truly alone with no physical family to support her. What this helps us to understand here is that relatives should step up to support their parents and even grandparents. This means that a widow’s family has the first responsibility to care for her. When a family does this is pleases God and even demonstrates faith. Paul tells us that those who do not see the need or who don’t take care of their family have denied the faith.
Something else that is really important here is that caring for your own family and more specifically the widow’s in one’s family is good because it relieves the church of specific financial obligations. Of course, the church is the second line of defense here, but it truly pleases the Lord when we are able to take care of our aging parents and grandparents.
-The second area that Paul speaks too here is that in order for the church to take care of a widow she needs to depend on God. Verse 5 tells us that she is to set her hope on God. Her settled attitude is one of hope in God and what this shows us is that she is truly a believer because her faith is in God. If someone is living in such a way where they are living in open sin and rebellion against the Lord then this would disqualify them. Only do such women who have placed their trust in God and are living for him does the church have a responsibility to help. With that being said believers can still come along side those who are not Christians to help, but the church does not have a duty or command to help those who are not believers or who have walked away from the Lord.
-The third area for widows is that they must be devoted to prayer. Again verse 5 tells us that a widow should continue in supplications and prayers day and night. A widow is not self-indulgent, but her life is marked by loving the Lord and meeting with Him through prayer. There is a wonderful example of a widow who truly loved God and prayed to God. We see a picture of her life in the gospel of Luke.
36 And there was a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was advanced in years, having lived with her husband seven years from when she was a virgin, 37 and then as a widow until she was eighty-four. She did not depart from the temple, worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day.
Anna was a widow who never married. Her heart and life were dedicated to God and too someday seeing the Messiah. And she did. She is a wonderful model for godly widows who take care from the church.
One other thing that I want to mention about some of our older widows is the fact that since some of them don’t have as many responsibilities as a younger lady would, such as a job or children to take care of, they can spend more time in prayer and discipling or counseling those who are younger in the church and this is so desperately needed today.
As we come to verse 7 Paul now addresses the opposite side of this coin where some widows and of course married ladies had given themselves over to selfish and sinful living. This type of person is described as living a life of pleasure without any thought of what is right or wrong about their behavior. Paul goes as far to say here that because of this self-indulgent living that they are dead even though they still live. What in the world does that mean? Although she may be alive physically speaking she is dead spiritually speaking. She is not a believer, she is dead in sin. These type of widows are not to be supported by the church and Paul does not even bother to command it as he did in the other areas.
Finally, Paul commands young Timothy with several things so that the church may be above reproach. The word reproach here means so that no one can find anything wrong in their conduct.
“These things” that Paul mentions here are expressed back in verse 3 in regards to being a true widow. Paul commands that children take care of their parents and those who do not do this have denied the faith and are worse than an unbeliever. What we see here is that Paul had in mind that there were some people in the church at Ephesus who had planned it out to not take care of their families. They were not taking care or providing for the widow in their family. Failure to do so makes a believer guilty in several areas.
-First, they have denied the faith. This does not mean that they have lost their salvation. But they have denied the principle of genuine love for one another.
-Second when we fail to take care of our families we are worse than an unbeliever. Even the pagans knew how to care for their families and did so. For a Christian to not take care of his family was inexcusable.
What Questions do you have?
Closing Questions:
-It is hard to judge if a widow is dependent on God? How do we determine this?
-How do you show Christian love to your parents or grandparents?
- Does government aide or church ministries relieve children of the responsibility to care for their parents and grandparents?
-Do you know of any widows who are powerful prayer warriors?
Close in Prayer: