Sermon Tone Analysis

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By Pastor Glenn Pease
Some little girls were having a great time playing wedding.
They had a couple of bridesmaids, a bride and a maid of honor.
The mother of one of the girls observed that the groom was conspicuous by his absence, and she asked, "What about the groom?"
One child quickly replied, "We don't need a groom.
This is just a small wedding."
There is many a wedding where the groom feels left out, and many where he wishes he was left out, but the fact is, there is no way to get a wedding so small that you do not need a groom.
The smallest wedding on record took place without any attendants or guests, and there was no preacher, but even Eve had a groom.
When you have cut all the corners possible, and you are down to the bare minimum you still have a groom.
The groom is not in limelight like the bride, and his role is very minimal.
He gets only a fraction of the published publicity, which is not much more than the ushers get, but he is no mere appendage which can be cut off if necessary.
You can eliminate everyone else in the list below the bride, but the groom must remain.
God in His all wise providence ordained that every wedding must have a groom.
It is important to man's ego that it is so, for if he was not a necessity he might very well be ignored all together, and the fantasy of the little girls might become fact.
It is said with as much truth as humor that some Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw the groom away.
But why all this rambling about the necessity of a groom?
It is because he does play second fiddle when it comes to the wedding, and the fact is, he plays a secondary role in the marriage.
The wife plays the leading role in marriage even though she is to be submissive to her husband.
When the biblical view of marriage properly understood, no woman can ever complain that she is treated unfairly.
Nowhere is a woman's role as wife and mother so exalted as it is in the Bible.
The Bible is almost like the newspaper.
It magnifies and glorifies the bride and wife, and just mentions the husband.
Proverbs 31 gives the greatest description in literature of the role of an ideal wife and mother.
Nowhere in the Bible is there such a description of the ideal husband and father.
Peter was a husband, and he had a great opportunity to write at length about husbands, but in our text of 7 verses of marriage counseling he devotes 6 of them to the wife, and only 1 to the husband.
It looks like typical coverage for the husband, and possibly 6 to 1 is even better than what he gets in the paper.
But the question is, why?
When the groom is just as essential as the bride, why does he get so much attention?
It is not only because he is less beautiful than the bride, but also because his role is less difficult and demanding than that of the bride.
Generally speaking it is much more difficult to be a good wife than to be a good husband.
It takes so many more virtues, and that is why the Bible and books on marriage are filled with so much more advice for wives than for husbands.
One of the reasons is that wives read more on improving their marriage than husbands do.
Both Peter and Paul deal with the wife before they do the husband, and they say more about her role.
What a wife is and does determines more in a marriage than any other factor.
She is the star at the wedding, and must go on being the star, for when she falls the sky is dark indeed.
Don't ever fall for the folly that the biblical role of women makes her second class.
If women's lib wants freedom from the biblical role for women, then they want to be free to be less and not more, for the biblical role makes her the primary factor in marriage and the home.
It is true that man is dominant in business, government, war, and politics, but when it comes to the home and marriage the wife is the leader.
The analogies of Scripture illustrate what I am saying.
Jesus is pictured as the groom, and the church is the bride.
It is not hard for the groom to be loving and loyal to his bride, but the bride is constantly struggling to be faithful, and to keep unspotted from the world.
The battles of the bride is what the Christian life is all about.
The brides side of the union of God and man is the hard side.
Husbands, of course, cannot be so easily Godlike as God was with His bride Israel, nor as easily Christlike as Christ is with His bride the church.
Nevertheless, I am convinced from Scripture, from history, and from life, that it is easier to be superior than it is to be submissive.
The wife has the harder role, but also the most significant.
As in the relationship of Christ and the church, it is the bride that determines the success of the relationship.
If the church fails, it is not because Christ has not loved enough.
He is the perfect husband, but if the bride fails to be submissive and obedient, the union is not a happy one.
Spiritually and literally the role of the wife is the key role in marriage.
That is why Peter devotes the majority of his advice on marriage to the wife.
This advice is far from being obsolete.
It is becoming more relevant everyday.
Anyone who can read knows that marriage is in big trouble today.
It is not that it is less popular, for everybody is still doing it, but the problem is they are doing it more and enjoying it less.
The quantity is greater than ever, and people are getting married two and three times, but the quality is sadly deficient.
People look upon marriage as an experiment, and if nothing develops they move on to another experiment.
This approach is fine in the laboratory, for it is the scientific method, but marriage is not designed by God to fit into the scientific method.
Marriage is closer to religion than science, and it is a matter of faith and commitment.
One must enter marriage with a religious attitude rather than a scientific attitude to make it work.
The world is flooded with advice for those brave adventurers embarking on the sea of matrimony.
The advice varies according to the experience of the so-called expert giving the advice.
If some have been wrecked on the rocks and sent to the bottom because of a stormy marriage, they will not encourage you to believe it is a blessed blissful journey of sailing into the sun.
In fact, they will offer you some such advice as this-
I would advise a man to pause
Before he takes a wife.
In fact, I see no earthly cause
He should not pause for life.
All to often the negative attitude dominates even in the Christian mind.
He begins to think like Elijah, and feel that he is the only one left.
In spite of the fact that marriage failure is a major social problem, there are still millions of happy marriages where the mates have not bowed the knee to Baal, and the other idols that break up the marriage duet.
For them, marriage is a joyful journey, and not a tragic trip.
The sun may not always shine, but they know it is always there even if the clouds are covering it for a time.
They can appreciate the truth of what Middleton writes concerning marriage.
The Treasures of the deep are not so precious,
As are the conceal'd comforts of a man
Lock'd up in woman's love.
I scent the air
Of blessings, when I come but near the house;
What a delicious breathe marriage sends forth.
The violet-bed's not sweeter.
Honest wedlock
Is like the banqueting-house built in a garden
On which the spring's chaste flowers take delight.
To cast their modest odors.
Marriage can be so wonderful that it even smells good.
It can be all that God intended it to be if we obey the principles He gives us.
Making marriage marvelous is a matter of making sure the ingredients that Peter mentions in our text are mixed well into the relationship.
As we inspect these ingredients take note of any that you lack, and do some shopping soon in the supermarket of God's abundant grace.
Keep them on your prayer shopping list until you are well supplied.
We want to concentrate on the ingredients which the wife is to add to the recipe for a marvelous marriage.
One is a matter of external action, and the other is a matter of internal attraction.
The visible and the invisible are both important.
Let's look first at-
I. EXTERNAL ACTION.
Peter says that what you do as a wife is far more important than what you say.
A woman's behavior has a powerful impact on a man even if he is an unbeliever.
Peter knows he is writing to many women who are married to men who are not Christians.
He says that by beautiful behavior they can win their husbands even without saying a word.
Nowhere is it more true than in marriage that actions speak louder than words.
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