The Love of God (Valentines Day)

INTRODUCTION:

When people think about Valentines day they think about a four letter word. LOVE.

But can we really know and appreciate love without first understanding it through the lens of it’s original creator?

Everything, visible and invisible, has been created by Christ. Including the invisible yet incredibly powerful force of love.

The Bible doesn't shy away from talking about love. In fact, it goes as far as to give love a unique designation when describing God's nature.

"God is love," John tells us in his first letter (1 John 4:8).

This isn't a throwaway line; it's a profound truth about the very character of God.

And he continues, "We love because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19, CSB).

Think about that. Our capacity to love—the deep affection we feel for our spouses, the bonds of friendship, the stirrings of romantic love, and even the selfless love that drives us to put others first—originates from God's initial act of love towards us.

Tonight, I want to take us on a journey. Not a journey through the typical Valentine's Day fare, but a deeper exploration into the nature of love itself.

We'll be guided by the insights of C.S. Lewis in his seminal work, The Four Loves.

Now, you might wonder, why delve into a book about love on Valentine's Day?

It’s because understanding the different dimensions of love that Lewis talks about can transform the way we see our relationships.

But most importantly, when we better understand and receive God’s love for us - we’ll be better equipped to love each other better than we do right now.

The Love of God

God’s love isn't just an emotion or a feeling; it's an active force that created the universe, that sustains, that redeems, perfects and commissions.

God’s divine love is the wellspring from which all other forms of love flow. It’s a divine gift, a sacred responsibility, and stewardship we all share.

As we explore these forms of love, I invite you to lean in, to listen not just with your ears but with your heart.

Understanding the depth and breadth of God's love for us can revolutionize not just how we love our spouses or significant others, but how we interact with and understand the world God has made.

The Four Loves

Let's begin by defining these four loves that C.S. Lewis mentions in his book.

The four angles of love that Lewis explores are influenced by four Greek words for love: storge, phileo, eros and agape.

Because I’m a preacher and none of us know Greek - I’ve renamed these four loves along four English words that start with the letter S.

Secure Love (Storge): Secure Love is foundational, built on the bedrock of family and familiarity. It's the love that says, "You belong," wrapping us in the security of unconditional acceptance and familiarity.

Shared Love (Phileo): Shared Love flourishes in the context of shared interests and experiences. It's found in the laughter shared between friends, mutual respect, and shared journeys.

Selective Love (Eros): Selective Love captures the essence of romantic desire. It's a love that focuses intensely and singularly on ONE beloved, encompassing both physical and emotional intimacy. Eros goes beyond mere attraction, seeking a deeper union of souls.

Sacrificial/Selfless Love (Agape): The highest form of love, Agape, mirrors the love God has for us. Unconditional, selfless, and sacrificial, it's a love that seeks the well-being of others above all else, even to the point of personal sacrifice.

Why FOUR LOVES? Because love is complex. It’s like a multifaceted diamond, each aspect reflecting a unique part of its whole beauty.

Just as a diamond's value is enhanced by the precision of its cut and the clarity of its facets, so too is the beauty of love magnified by its diversity and depth.

As we explore these dimensions of love, we'll see how they interact, support, and enrich each other. Like a diamond expertly cut to reveal its radiant beauty, the creative hand of God has designed love to be multidimensional, reflecting His nature and the truth, goodness and beauty therein.

Together, these four loves form a complete picture of the divine love that binds us all.

Secure Love

Let's begin by thinking about Secure Love or Storge.

This is the most natural, comfortable form of love—the kind that often gets overlooked but is fundamental to our sense of belonging and peace.

Secure Love is like the soft, steady glow of a hearth in an old family home.

It's not flashy; it doesn't demand attention. But it warms the entire house, offering a place of rest and safety for all who enter.

This is the love you find

in the unspoken bond between siblings,

in the quiet dedication of a spouse who makes your coffee just like you like it.

in the steadfast presence of a friend who's seen you at your best and your worst.

Think of the parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32). The father's love for his wayward son is a perfect illustration of Secure Love.

Despite the son's rebellion and departure, the father watches and waits.

And upon his son's return, he doesn't just welcome him back; he runs to him, embraces him, and restores him to his place in the family.

This is Secure Love—unconditional, unearned, and unwavering.

Challenges & Benefits

Secure Love is challenging because it’s easy to take it for granted. It’s often our family we treat the worst because we know they can’t go anywhere.

We often overlook the quiet acts of service and presence that are its hallmarks.

In a world that often celebrates the more dramatic expressions of love, the subtlety of Secure Love can be undervalued.

It requires patience to cultivate and humility to accept, especially when it doesn't come in the form we expect.

Yet, the benefits of being enveloped in Secure Love are profound.

It gives us a foundation of trust and acceptance, a safe space from which we can explore the world and our place in it.

Secure Love roots us, giving us the confidence to face life's challenges, knowing we have a refuge to return to, no matter what.

Storge love must be cherished and nurtured. Let's recognize the quiet sacrifices and steadfast support of those who offer us this kind of love.

Let's strive to extend it to others, building a community that feels secure because it’s based on unconditional love and acceptance.

In doing so, we not only reflect God's love for us but also create a little bit of heaven right here on earth.

Shared Love

Moving into the realm of Shared Love, or Phileo, we journey into the heart of friendship, where love blossoms from common interests, mutual respect, and the shared experiences that knit souls together.

Imagine two old friends sitting on a porch, reminiscing about the adventures of their youth, the trials they've faced, and the joys they've celebrated together.

It’s the laughter that fills a room when an inside joke is mentioned,

The silent understanding between individuals who have journeyed through life side by side.

It's David and Jonathan in the Scriptures, a bond so strong that it was described as Jonathan loving David "as his own soul" (1 Samuel 18:1-3).

Contrast & Challenges

Shared Love is distinct from the natural, familial bond of Secure Love or Storge, in that it is chosen.

Unlike Eros, which focuses on a singular beloved, or Agape, which is selfless and sacrificial, Phileo is the love between equals, cultivated through shared experiences and nurtured through time and intentionality.

However, Shared Love faces its own set of challenges.

Because it grows in the soil of that which is shared, when the sharing stops the love beings to wane.

Friendships can be tested by distance, misunderstanding, and the evolving seasons of life.

Changes in interests, life stages, or even spiritual growth can strain these bonds.

Maintaining Shared Love requires effort, communication, and a willingness to bridge differences with grace and understanding.

Benefits & Invitation

Yet, the benefits of Shared Love are immeasurable. It enriches our lives, providing support, encouragement, and companionship.

This love creates an environment for true fellowship in the life of a local church. Where diverse individuals come together, united by their shared love for God and each other.

In these friendships, we find a taste of the unity and love that awaits us in eternity.

Practically, cultivating Shared Love means intentionally investing time in relationships.

It’s joining a church small group,

participating in community service,

or simply reaching out to connect over coffee.

It’s about celebrating each other's victories and standing together in times of trial.

While Shared Love may not have the intensity of Eros or the unconditional nature of Agape, its value in our lives cannot be overstated.

It reminds us that we are not alone on our journey, that we have companions who share our path, our joys, our sorrows, and our hopes.

As we nurture these bonds, we reflect the relational heart of God, for whom and through whom we are all connected.

Selective Love

Having established Secure and Shared loves, lets now turn our attention to Selective Love, or Eros.

This is perhaps the most celebrated and yet most misunderstood type of love, especially in our culture today.

Eros, in its purest form, is an intense focus and deep affection for a particular individual.

It transcends mere physical attraction or the pursuit of sexual gratification, (which is often associated with Venus love.)

Eros involves a holistic appreciation of the beloved, encompassing body, mind, and spirit.

In the words of the great theologian Danny Zuko (Travolta) to Sandy (Newton John) in the movie Grease “You’re the one that I want!”

Illustrate & Contrast

When I think of Selective Love I think of the love story between Jacob and Rachel. He sees her and sets his face like a flint to see that she becomes his.

Or a similar love story for Jacob’s Dad, Isaac. He was betrothed to Rebekah even though they had never met. But as soon as he sees her he falls in love with her. Not just her physical beauty but the beauty of her spirit and her soul.

Eros love, while including the joy and pleasure of sexual union designed by God, focuses on the personhood of the other.

It sees the beloved as the sole object of affection, worthy of deep commitment and sacrifice.

Eros love is celebrated throughout the Song of Solomon. It’s filled with poetry that honors both the physical and emotional aspects of selective love within the covenant of marriage.

Challenge & Benefits

In a world that reduces romantic love to it’s sexual and physical aspects, it can be challenging to fully benefit from the power of selective love.

Keeping Eros love pure and focused requires constant vigilance against the distortions of selfishness and the commodification of human relationships.

It demands a commitment to see and love the other in their entirety, cherishing them as a unique individual created in the image of God.

When this happens Selective Love can be one of the most powerful and transformative loves that we will ever experience.

This is the love that makes husband and wife “one flesh.” This is the dynamic that bewildered the apostle Paul in that it illustrate the love of Christ for his Bride, the Church.

It brings the joy of being fully known and deeply loved by another. It’s a gift that enables us to experience a foretaste of the divine love that fully knows and fully cherishes

Sacrificial / Selfless Love

Finally, we arrive at the pinnacle of love, the Selfless and Sacrificial Love, known in Greek as Agape.

This is not just any love; it's the divine love that flows from the heart of God Himself.

It's a love so profound and so powerful that it defines the very essence of who God is and how He interacts with us, His creation.

Agape is best illustrated through the gospel narrative.

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16).

Here we see the depth of God's love—a love that sacrifices, that gives without expecting anything in return.

It's a love that is willing to endure the cross, to bear our burdens, and to offer forgiveness and new life.

Jesus exemplified this love throughout His life and ministry, culminating in His ultimate sacrifice on the cross.

He told His disciples, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends" (John 15:13).

This is Agape: selfless, sacrificial, seeking the welfare of the beloved, even at personal cost.

The Distinguishing Mark

This love is the hallmark of our identity as Christians.

"By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13:35).

Agape love is the distinguishing mark of the believer, setting us apart in a world that often equates love with emotion or self-gratification.

Imagine a world where God's people are committed to living out this kind of love.

It would transform families, mend broken relationships, heal communities, and bridge divides.

Agape has the power to change the world because it reflects the heart of God—a love that forgives, restores, and unites.

When we embrace and practice Agape love, we participate in God's redeeming work in the world. We become conduits of His love, showing others the way back to Him.

In a world hungry for genuine connection and unity, Agape love stands as a beacon of hope. It challenges us to look beyond our needs and desires, to see the value and dignity in every person.

CONCLUSION:

Let us, therefore, strive to embody this love in all we do, knowing that it is by our love that the world will know we belong to Jesus.

In loving as He loved, we not only draw closer to Him but also invite others into the transformative experience of knowing and being known by God.

The reason I wanted us to end on God’s Agape love for us is because I believe THAT LOVE empowers and enables all other forms.

It’s bedrock upon which real family is built.

It’s the oil that keeps friendships moving the right direction.

It’s the commitment of exclusivity that makes romantic love last.

Until we learn to receive and live in God’s love for us, we will ill equipped to give ourselves in love for another. Whether family, lovers or friends.

Love is the Theme

Love is the central theme and the creative power behind the universe.

You cannot make sense of this world or your experience without understanding the love of God for us in Christ.

God's Agape love for us is unwavering, unconditional, and unparalleled.

It's a love that reaches down to us in our imperfection and embraces us, just as we are.

As we continually receive and rejoice in this love, we find ourselves transformed, equipped, and encouraged to love others selflessly, even at a cost to our own convenience and preferences.

It’s not just an abstract concept; it's the very heartbeat of our faith, the foundation upon which all other forms of love are built and flourished.

Imagine If…

Imagine a world where God's people love like Christ.

Secure Love is not just about comfort and familiarity but becomes a reflection of God's unwavering presence in our lives, reminding us that we are never alone.

Shared Love goes beyond common interests, embodying the unity and fellowship of the body of Christ, where every member supports and uplifts the other.

Selective Love, enriched by God's love, transcends physical attraction and becomes a testament to the covenant of marriage, reflecting Christ's commitment to His church.

Imagine a world with more patience and kindness, compassion and grace.

A world with less irritation, and harsh words. But rather an open ear and a helping hand.

Dedicating time to listen and support a friend in need, or celebrating the achievements and joys of our spouse with the same fervor as our own.

Imagine showing love to those who are difficult to love, offering forgiveness when it's undeserved, and extending grace freely, as God has done for us.

Frankly, that kind of love could change the world.

Correction. That love DID change the world through the person of Jesus Christ.

Our invitation - having received this love by grace through faith - is to join our Lord in healing this world through extending that love and building a community where it might flourish and dwell.

Let's commit to being a community that exemplifies Christ's love in every interaction.

Let's make our homes, our church, and our shared spaces a place where God's love is visible and tangible, practical and kind.

A love that’ll change the hardest of hearts and ultimately heal our world.

PRAYER:

Heavenly Father, we thank You for Your overwhelming, never-ending Agape love. You have shown us the full extent of Your love through Your Son, Jesus Christ, who laid down His life for us.

Help us to dwell deeply in Your love, that we might be vessels of love to those around us. Empower us, Lord, to love as You love—selflessly, sacrificially, and unconditionally.

May our love for each other be enhanced, corrected, healed, and purified by Your love for us.

Let our lives reflect the love of Christ in such a way that the world may know we are Your disciples. Grant us the grace and strength to love one another as You have commanded, to the glory of Your name. Amen.