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By Pastor Glenn Pease
Almost everybody you know in the Bible became a grandparent.
But since the term is not used in the Bible we tend to ignore this fact and seldom think of people as grandparents, and of children as grandchildren.
When I read the blessing at the end of Psa.
128 that says may you live to see your children's children, I realized that is the way the Hebrews described grandchildren.
They are your children's children.
So I looked up children in the concordance and realized it would take many hours of searching to find all the places where children's children are mentioned.
So I typed it into the computer and it told me instantly that grandchildren are referred to ten times.
The one thing the Bible makes clear is that grandparents are often the determining factor in the righteousness and love of God being passed down from generation to generation.
If grandpa and grandma do not care about the will of God, and it is not a priority in their lives, the flame of faith can go out, and the torch will not pass to the grandchildren.
It can often skip a generation, and children may rebel and depart from the faith.
We see it often in the Bible.
But if grandparents are faithful the grandchildren can pick up where they leave off, and they can keep the fire of faith burning.
Psa.
103:17-18 says, "But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord's love is with those who fear Him and His righteousness with their children's children-with those who keep His covenant and remember to obey His precepts."
Grandparents play a vital role in keeping God's kingdom going and going.
In the Lord's prayer we pray for His kingdom to come and His will to be done on earth as it is in heaven.
This prayer is answered in large measure because of godly grandparents.
When you read the biographical writings of Christians it is amazing how often you read that it was the grandparents who most impacted them for Christ.
For example, here is the testimony of Dale Evans Rogers: "My childhood hero was my Granddaddy Wood of Uvalde, Texas.
As I look back now, I still believe he was one of the finest and most generous men I ever knew.
The people of Uvalde, a small, typical Southwestern Texas town, dearly loved and respected my grandfather Wood.
He was tall, broad-shouldered with a thin frame-a no-nonsense man, but I especially recall the warmth and kindness in his eyes.
Two memories especially stand tall in mind: During my high school days I loved to play the piano and sing for him because he was so appreciative and complimentary.
And then I recall the nightly prayer time in his bedroom.
All of the family was expected to attend, and we did!
His goodnight prayer sent us all off to bed with the feeling we had been with God.
Granddaddy loved unselfishly, and was greatly loved in return.
He taught me much about love.
It is true he wasn't much of a talker, but he was a real doer."
This is a very common testimony, and I have the same one.
It was not my mother and father that most influenced me for Christ.
It was my godly grandparents.
There was also an uncle that influenced me, and he too was a grandpa.
Margaret Mead, the world famous author, made this statement: "The closest friends I have made all through life have been people who also grew up close to a loved and loving grandmother and grandfather."
One of the reasons for this being so true for so many is because of the very nature of the relationship of grandparents and grandchildren.
Parents have to be more Old Testament in relation to a child.
There is a lot of law involved in the training of a child.
But grandparents can focus on grace.
They are more New Testament in their relationship to the grandchildren.
A high school youth said, "When my father says, 'you are so dumb,' that makes me feel just terrible.
So when I can, I go to see my grandmother and tell her about it.
Then she says, 'I think what you did is not so good.
But you're O. K.'"
Parents often have to be involved in discipline, and justice often leads to conflict.
Kids feel they are being treated unfairly, and often it is true because parents are not omniscient and really do not know the degree of guilt in each child.
On the other hand, grandparents can focus on mercy and give love and understanding even to the guilty child.
Many a rebel who cannot get along with their parents is saved for the kingdom by grandparents who do not need to deal with the tensions from the same perspective.
It is because their role is so different that they are so important for balance.
Many Christian parents do not know how to handle a rebel child.
They feel obligated to condemn them if they fall into some serious sin.
This role is not always out of line, but it can be so severe that they fail to mix in a measure of mercy.
Grandparents can often make up for this imbalance and give the child the hope of being restored and loved again.
Part of the problem of our culture and the breakdown of families is that grandparents are not what they use to be.
Today we have self-help books, pre-marriage counseling, marriage enrichment, and seminars on every subject, but all of them together cannot do what a godly set of grandparents use to do for families.
They use to be living demonstrations of love and loyalty to God and family, and this is often missing today.
Godly grandparents are worth more than all the seminars man can ever produce, for they are God's method of keeping balance in life.
Paul in Titus 2 reveals that he is convinced that older men and women are the key people in keeping families growing in love, and being pleasing to God.
If you want to help the younger generation to be better, the best place to start is with grandparents.
I know this is an over simplification, for our culture has so changed that the good old days are gone.
Grandparents are a different breed in modern life.
Some anonymous poet put this change into poetry:
In the dim and distant past,
When life's tempo wasn't fast,
Grandmas use to rock and knit,
Crochet, sew, and baby sit.
When the kids were in a jam,
They could always count on gram.
In the age of gracious living,
Grandma was the gal for giving.
Grandma now is in the gym
Exercising to keep slim;
She's off touring with the "bunch"
Taking clients out to lunch.
Driving North to ski or curl,
All her days are in a whirl,
Nothing seems to stop or block her
Now that grandmas off her rocker.
I think the point is, if grandparents are no different than parents, which is often the case, then the children do not get the benefit of what grandparents can give.
This leaves the whole family structure as dysfunctional, and everybody loses.
It is important for grandparents to be different.
Children to quickly conclude that grandparents are just old fashioned and their ways are obsolete.
This leads to much conflict which is unnecessary.
Judith Viorst writes about her conflict with her mother about how to raise the kids.
She said, "Some of us may have to ask ourselves if we are willing, when grandmother is the sitter, to let her handle our children her way, even when her way is not ours."
This is hard because parents fear that the differences of grandparents will be harmful, and so there is resistance and conflict.
But wise parents will let grandparents be free to love the way they feel comfortable in loving.
The differences will be positive and not negative.
Grandparents are suppose to be different, and the difference will be beneficial to the kids.
This works both ways, and so grandparents need to have a hands off attitude, and let the parents be different too, and not try to force them to do things their way.
The Bible says a man is to leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife.
The implication is that each couple is to be independent and to formulate their own ways of loving and raising children.
Whether is it better than the way they were raised is not the issue.
The issue is, are they free and independent, and able to decide for themselves what is best for them.
Grandparents cause most trouble in families where they try to force their children to duplicate them, and try to control their decisions.
The most flagrant example of this is the cartoon where an older couple is seated at the table with a younger couple, who are obviously their children, and the older woman says, "We've decided not to have grandchildren."
There are many decisions in life that are not up to grandparents, and the sooner they learn this the happier everyone will be.
This often calls for a lot of tongue biting, but the experts say don't even give advice unless you are asked, and even then do so sparingly.
This will prevent more uncivil wars than any other bit of wisdom.
It is an illusion that because we lived a certain way that it is the best way for our children too.
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